back to article Naked Aussie gets wedged in washing machine

An Aussie bloke who climbed naked into a top-loader washing machine in an attempt to surprise his other half provided a top afternoon's entertainment for local emergency services. The unnamed chap from Mooroopna, some 180km north of Melbourne, apparently decided it was a bit of a wheeze to conceal himself inside the appliance …

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  1. Frumious Bandersnatch

    Bonsai Aussie?

    He did know that Bonsai Kitten was a hoax, right?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Well

      I suppose if you can't catch a kangaroo the washing machine is the next best thing.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      A Billabong Mk 3 model 200/10 big enough for even the largest Aussie Ar@e.

  2. Code Monkey

    Worthy of the Northern Territory News. Colleague from Darwin is delighted to hear of more southerly Aussies being so dumb.

    1. David Webb

      He was aiming for the North Of Darwin Award?

      1. Fair Dinkum

        <exhales coffee> wrong direction. He was from around Melbourne. Loved your comment though!

  3. Alister

    ...and a Search and Rescue Squad from nearby Shepparton

    Did they have trouble finding him, then?

    Must be a big washing machine...

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      More likely they heard on the radio naked man wedged in washing machine and thought: "must see!"

    2. Black Betty

      & RESCUE. Strikes me we've got an editor clarifying...

      that our SES (State Emergency Service) conducts S&R operations.

      AND

      A correspondent who demonstrates that such clarification is both necessary AND still insufficient.

  4. wowfood

    How many aussies does it take to pull a naked man out of a washing machine

    20

    1 to lube him up, 2 to pull, and the rest to point and laugh.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Better a washing machine than a sheep.

  6. paulc
    Trollface

    Chain saw...

    Start that up and he'd have "self-lubed" himself out of there pretty quick... it would be a bit smelly though...

  7. Daedalus
    Happy

    In a whirl

    Is it true that washing machines spin in the opposite direction Down Under?

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: In a whirl

      Surely that will depend on whether the observer is here or there?

    2. Turtle

      @Daedalus: "washing machines spin in the opposite?"

      Depends on whether it's washing Schoedinger's cat or not.

  8. Stevie

    Bah!

    And how did he deal with the issue of the agitator - that conical pylon mounted centrally in the tub?

    I suspect a jape.

    1. dssf

      Re: Bah!

      Could have been one of those big Samsungs with no real or US-style, up-sticking agitator. I saw a couple of Korean machines when in Busan, and in Shanghai, and those machines are ULTRA quiet and almost to die for. Better than ANY US-made consumer washer I've seen in my 40+ years. The machines are even superior to the super quiet laundry-house Sanyos I saw in Tokyo in 2004. And that Sanyo was so quiet that I had to go back inside and touch and put my ear to the thing before feeling certain is was indeed operating. Well, some of the Maytags are nice, but in 2005 my housemate and his wife had one -- IIRC, it cost around $2000 just for the washer, but it might have been around $1500.

      So, I can see an adult (of maybe 5'-7" stature) easily fitting IN to one, though getting out could be a bit... Agitating, hahaha.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Bah! (Since NAFTA...

        No one has made an appliance in the USA for years)

      2. Stevie

        Re: US-style, up-sticking agitator ...

        ... that were a common design feature of the UK models when I left for foreign shores in '84.

    2. Shugyosha
      IT Angle

      Re: Bah!

      I live in Australia and I've never come across a top loader with an agitator. I currently own a Samsung - no agitator; previously in a rental unit I had an old Simpson - no agitator, and I can't recall ever seeing an agitator in a coin-op machine either.

      1. Stevie

        Re: Bah!

        so how do you get the clothes to circulate through the drum, then? Not challenging the fact, simply interested.

        As for the bloke who sang the praises of the quietness, yeah, I was persuaded to trade out an old noisy dishwasher for a super-expensive energy efficient one that was designed to be super quiet. The bloody thing would have been better designed to be noisy and get the cutlery clean and finish the job in an hour instead of the 3+ hours it takes now. I mean, what's the point if I have to Brillo every fucking knife and fork that comes out of it after an overnight cycle? But perhaps that's just me.

        1. Shugyosha

          Re: Bah!

          Well, I'm a SysAdmin, not a washing machine engineer, so I don't really know. But I assume it's done by the way the tub spins clockwise and anticlockwise. Here's the manual for my fairly basic machine - http://goo.gl/BeYD45 - it doesn't give much information but I'm assuming the key is in the fantastically named 'Double Storm Pulsator', the movement of the drum is designed to create currents in the water and the currents circulate the clothes.

        2. Cryo

          Re: Bah!

          We recently got a new quiet energy-efficient dishwasher, and it works quite well. Sure, it takes around 2 to 3 hours depending on the settings and how long the sensors determine it should run, but the length of time generally shouldn't be a problem, since you'll typically be running a dishwasher between meals or overnight. It also offers a quick, less-efficient 1 hour mode as well though, in case you need something right away. Whether you pre-rinse your dishes before putting them in likely makes a difference in cleaning performance as well. Also, at least in the US, recent environmental regulations have made many detergents not perform as well as they used to, so it's generally not recommended to use the powdered detergents anymore, but rather the tablets and gel-packs. The detergent formulas likely vary from country to country though.

      2. Stevie

        Re: Bah!

        [2 Shugyosha] I was in contact with a Verified Proper Australian over the weekend who assures me that there is no dearth of agitator-type top-loading washing machines down under.

        Next time you cite your experience as the Definitive Australasian Experience, mention the fact that you (obviously) live in Warra-Warra-Numpty, population 4 if you include the dingo and a sheep named Eric.

    3. Stratman

      Re: Bah!

      "And how did he deal with the issue of the agitator"

      More olive oil?

    4. ProperDave
      Facepalm

      Re: Bah!

      Am I the only one that read "agitator" as "alligator", and couldn't fathom the croc joke out, until I re-read and thought about washing machine mechanics? :o

      1. Stevie

        Re: Alligator

        Looks like it, yeah.

    5. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects

      And how did he deal with the issue of the agitator?

      Didn't you notice the link at the end of the story:

      Small and midsize business guide to mobile security?

  9. Rob

    I can imagine...

    ... the call going out on the emergency services band, I bet they were falling over themselves to get to this shout.

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    To Police Amazement

    When he was removed from the washing machine, it was also found that his knob was stuck in a vacuum cleaner.

  12. Pete 2 Silver badge

    All it needed ...

    > police, firefighters, paramedics, SES (State Emergency Service)" and a Search and Rescue Squad from nearby Shepparton enthusiastically responded.

    ... was a spin-doctor

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: All it needed

      Good effort. Award yourself beer.

      1. Pete 2 Silver badge

        Re: All it needed

        > Award yourself beer.

        krrrrrck, shhhhhhhh, glug

        Ahhhhh!

  13. disgruntled yank

    Removing the agitator from a top-loading machine is not particularly difficult, though it might be if you were drunk enough to think that this is a good idea. But even with the agitator gone, I'm not sure how anyone over about jockey size can fit into the drum of a standard washing machine.

    1. Stevie

      re: Removing the agitator from a top-loading machine is not particularly difficult

      No, but having done so I can attest that there is still a sizeable spike sticking up into the drum when you do.

  14. TRT Silver badge

    He was only...

    washing his smalls.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: He was only...

      Or he could have been treating his delicates to a hand job.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: He was only...

        When police asked for proof of his identity, he mangled his particulars so they put him through the wringer and hung him out to dry.

  15. Arachnoid
    Coat

    They should turn it into a soap...

    I guess we can call him Tubby now,

    I wonder if hes a drummer........

  16. Dan 4

    I hope his significant other was surprised anyway. So this guy can at least feel like he accomplished something for his troubles.

    1. Winkypop Silver badge
      Flame

      She wasn't impressed

      But she did get the phone number for one of the burly Firemen....

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am sure...

    his first name is Bruce.

  18. DanceMan

    Failed

    to make a clean escape.

  19. MrT

    "Thanks to Dan Glynhampton for the tip-off."

    Ouch. I thought he got away intact...

  20. westlake

    Wierd News

    It happened again.

    For the second time in less than a week, someone has gotten stuck in a washing machine playing a game of hide-and-seek.

    A 20-year-old Australian man got stuck in a top-load washing machine Saturday in the hopes of scaring his girlfriend, BBC reports.

    He was also naked.

    On Friday, an 11-year-old Utah girl made headlines after a similar ordeal. The girl, who did not want to be identified out of embarrassment, was playing hide-and-seek when she got stuck in the machine for 90 minutes. Firefighters were eventually able to pry her out.

    "She really wanted to win," the girl's mother said.

    On Friday, an 11-year-old Utah girl made headlines after a similar ordeal. The girl, who did not want to be identified out of embarrassment, was playing hide-and-seek when she got stuck in the machine for 90 minutes. Firefighters were eventually able to pry her out.

    "She really wanted to win," the girl's mother said.

    Despite needing help from authorities, these two pioneers of hide and seek should be admired for their commitment to hiding.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/06/man-stuck-in-washing-machine-australia_n_4549781.html

    weird news has a video....

    1. Oninoshiko

      Re: Wierd News

      In fairness, there's a world of difference between an 11-year old playing hide and seek, and a 20 yr old who should know better.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wierd News

        There is a difference. Alcohol.

      2. DiViDeD

        Re: Wierd News

        Of course there's a difference. 11 year olds are not allowed to quaff large quantities of the amber nectar in Utah

      3. John Bailey

        Re: Wierd News

        "In fairness, there's a world of difference between an 11-year old playing hide and seek, and a 20 yr old who should know better."

        Yes..

        The 11 year old is more likely to be smart enough to realise how stupid the idea is before doing it.

    2. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Re: Wierd News

      westlake, it must be the Rise of the Washing Maschines!

  21. Joe H.
    Meh

    From the title of the article...

    ...I expected to read about some sort of spectacular brief underwear mishap that rendered him naked and stuck inside the thing involving an actual wedgie provided by the washing machine while he was innocently doing laundry, reached for something on the upper shelf and, oh well, whatever.

  22. WillbeIT
    IT Angle

    ??

    icon: nuff said

  23. Martyn 1

    So police, firefighters, paramedics, State Emergency Service, and a Search and Rescue Squad all turned up!

    You just know the first one on the scene called up the control centre and said "guys you've just got to come down here and get a look at this dude"

  24. Graham Dresch
    Go

    Playmobil - or it didn't happen

    Long, long time since there was a Playmobil replay,

    perfect for friday, unless the BOFH puts in a new year appearance...

  25. jgarbo
    Facepalm

    The embarrassment

    And my compatriots wonder why I tell others I'm Dutch when I'm travelling.

  26. tony2heads
    Joke

    Washing conditioner

    I suspect he will have a case of 'Sta-Soft' for a while

  27. ok i'll sign up

    Don't drink and dry. Interview below from previous Kiwi caper

    Not sure if I can post URLs, if not search for "Man vs clothes dryer; Result: stuck"

    Classic kiwi incident with an Interview, love it. It's people like this that bought me to gods own country

    http://tvnz.co.nz/close-up/man-vs-clothes-dryer-result-stuck-2798852

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Don't drink and dry. Interview below from previous Kiwi caper

      ok i'll sign up,

      It's people like this that bought me to gods own country

      Typo or do they let slaves using the internet?

  28. Nordrick Framelhammer

    What else do you expect from a West Islander?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why SES?

    I'm an SES member and can see no genuine reason for an SES turnout to this. Other than the obvious entertainment factor that is.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Darwin titles..

    "Spin dried"

    "Greased lightning"

    "All washed up"

    Any other ideas?

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