Party's over in Waterloo as BlackBerry pulls plug on 2014 Live conference BlackBerry-friendly IT managers and developers will feel a little lonelier next year, now that the Waterloo, Ontario–based firm has announced there will be no 2014 BlackBerry Live conference. Official BlackBerry blogger Donny Halliwell revealed the company's plans on Friday, saying BlackBerry had decided that putting on a big …
Of course that will never happen as long as upper management can keep giving themselves bonuses from what's left in the bank all the while keeping their buddies on the board either willfully in the dark or distracted by some new grand plan that will save everything. Corporatism at its finest.
I don't suppose you'd buy
Blackberry Trace of Live?
How about
Blackberry in need of CPR?
Actually, my take on this sort of thing is that I wouldn't mind it if companies won and lost on their own technical merits. I'm not saying that marketing doesn't have any merits, though they are few, but these days there is no room for freedom of choice. The marketing hype destroys 'loser' companies even if the options they offer would enhance the freedom of some people. If they can't maximize profits like a cancer, then Wall Street decrees that they must be destroyed, apparently so a few trivial organs can be harvested.
Me? I favor an amoeba-based economic model. Don't think of it as a penalty for too much success. Think of it as a reproductive award. In other words, rather than growing like a cancer, which is ultimately unsustainable (even for the banks that claim to be too big to fail), when a company grows big enough it should be required to reproduce by splitting into separate companies that compete for the future while offering MORE choice and freedom to the customers.
And remember the google motto: All your attention are belong to the google!
I don't think I've ever seen a successful firm I have any knowledge of, crash and burn so spectacularly. Even just a couple of years back, I would probably have thought them too big to fail. Not even Nokia managed to fail so well - and the Finns were trying. Let's face it, it's likely there will be no Blackberry on Christmas Eve 2014 :-(.
Where is John Cleese?
Tech People: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Blackberry what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very store.
Blackberry: Oh yes, the, uh, the Blackberry Z-10...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Tech People: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Blackberry: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Tech People: Look, matey, I know a dead Blackberry when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Blackberry: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable phone, the Z-10, idn'it, ay? Beautiful surface texture!
Tech People: The surface don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Blackberry: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Tech People: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the phone) 'Ello, Mister Polly
Blackberry! I've got a lovely fresh 4G for you if you connect to...
(Mr Blackberry hits the Z10 to the table)
Blackberry: There, it moved!
Tech People: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the phone!
Blackberry: I never!!
Tech People: Yes, you did!
Blackberry: I never, never did anything...
Tech People: (yelling and hitting the phone repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes Blackberry and thumps its screen on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Tech People: Now that's what I call a dead Blackberry.
Blackberry: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Tech People: STUNNED?!?
Blackberry: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Blackberry Z10 stun easily, major.
Tech People: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Blackberry is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged update.
Tech People: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Blackberry when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had a display on its screen in the first place was that a picture of a display was NAILED there.
Blackberry: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that screen, it would have overheated and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Tech People: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this phone wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Blackberry: No no! 'E's pining!
Tech People: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Blackberry is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im it'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'history! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-BLACKBERRY!!
Blackberry: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (Hands over an iPhone)
I do seriously think they can get out of this shit they are in ... all they need is some fierce marketing ... their phones are top notch, em, their OS is ... and I know they have a couple more coming. I also know some very big firm is gonna order tens of thousands very soon as they have passed trial and the company wants no nsa.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
