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back to article HP: This Xmas, get the SACK... and not the one filled with presents

HP has sent its staff a Christmas missive informing them that some of them could be sacked in early 2014. The cheery letter said that some workers will have the choice of taking voluntary redundancy. However, if too few people choose this option, HP will be forced to start getting rid of people. Workers affected by the scheme …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did the message arrive in a pretty musical Christmas card to soften the blow?

    As anyone who is employed knows, when redundancies are made, when businesses close down, Christmas is the prime time for this to happen.

    Of course Meg Whitman the CEO will have a fabulous Christmas and I doubt that while chewing her way through her organic hand reared turkey on Christmas Day she will spare a thought for those whose Christmas has now been spoiled by anxiety and stress over the possibility of losing their jobs.

    37 3
    1. wikkity
      Reply Icon

      A downvote? Didn't realise Meg Whitman hangs out here

      20 2
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Morals

      By the time you get to be CEO material, you have pretty much decided morals are optional and the only person they can possibly apply to is yourself and maybe a couple of your closest friends. She doesn't care about making people redundant because she simply doesn't care about the people affected. Total moral vacuum.

      I remember seeing a study from a top US university some years ago that said the only difference between a CEO (or other top executive) and a psychopath is the methods they use. The thought processes and lack of empathy with the 'victim' is identical.

      How true.

      23 2
      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Holmes

        Re: Morals

        To be honest, sometimes you have to get rid of people to keep the ship afloat at all, even though it may be a "damned if you do - damned if you don't" problem. Been there, done that. On the other hand, there was zero "middle management" in our case.

        In a sane economic climate, this shouldn't be much of a problem.

        Unfortunately this short recession is far from over.

        4 2
        1. Mad Mike
          Reply Icon

          Re: Morals

          @Destroy All Monsters

          I think the issue people have is why those at the top keep getting big salaries, big pay rises and big bonuses when they are laying people off. Getting rid of people is a sign of a failing business and therefore a failing executive and management team. Therefore, these people should feel as much pain as those being laid off. If this were the case, maybe people would accept it more readily as 'necessary'. However, it rarely, if ever, is. They've normally got their snouts well in the trough, just as peoples lives are potentially destroyed.

          It shows they are all morally redundant.

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          1. Anonymous Coward
            Reply Icon
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Morals

            Getting rid of people is not necessarily a sign of a failing business. Every HP presentation I have seen (and every other vendor) for that matter, positions their products as easy to manage, do more with less, etc. Most of these roles seem to be in enterprise services, so surely HP will be 'eating their own dog food' and realising some of the operational efficiencies that they push so hard, and be able to do more with less? No IT companies is thriving at the moment, revenues are growing slowly if at all, so they are all looking for operational savings. In fact it's the same with every industry I can think of - including police, firemen, etc. Rationalisation is the way of the world.

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      2. PC Paul
        Reply Icon

        Re: Morals

        "I remember seeing a study from a top US university some years ago that said the only difference between a CEO (or other top executive) and a psychopath is the methods they use."

        I found that this explained it all quite well for me...

        http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-or-the-office-according-to-the-office/

        0 1
      3. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Morals

        "By the time you get to be CEO material, you have pretty much decided morals are optional ..."

        Think of it as evolution in action, as Larry Niven says. People who have ethical compunctions simply don't get anywhere near the CxO top of the tree.

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  2. Martin 47

    They made a mistake though ..........

    They used 'your leaders' instead of Dear Leader....

    'Your Leaders' ffs, bit up themselves aren't they?

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    1. nematoad
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      Leaders, yes, you know the ones with their snouts first in the trough.

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      1. LarsG
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        Leaders? Phaa

        True leaders make sure their troops have been fed first.

        True leaders lead from the front, take the same risks crawl in the same dirt and never ask someone to do something they would not.

        Don't call these people 'leaders' because they are not, just over hyped and over paid chancers.

        18 0
  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I got dumped

    I had a nice little conversation with my regional CIO and my local CEO last week, they were "kind" enough to inform me that I have 6 months left. My other colleagues will get either none or 2 months notice, they don't know it yet though. ( Hence the A/C)

    They also asked me to help them restructure the company and take the lead on the project that will optimize and reassign all my future ex-colleagues existing tasks to the remaining colleagues.... I was very nice though, I told them to fuck off very politely.

    Hopefully this will push me towards a new career...

    (I am not with HP but it reminds me of my own case)

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    1. keithpeter Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: I got dumped

      "They also asked me to help them restructure the company and take the lead on the project that will optimize and reassign all my future ex-colleagues existing tasks to the remaining colleagues...."

      The temptation would have been to 'lead the project' in such a way that would, shall we say, impact slightly on the downstream.

      I take it you just took the money and got a better job.

      To anyone affected: good luck and remember it is them not you.

      9 0
  4. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "Your leaders are all working very hard ...

    to maximise shareholder value by slicing into the very fabric that actually creates value - the workforce. Because next year's bonuses are next year's problem."

    There, fixed that for you.

    20 1
    1. Cubical Drone
      Reply Icon

      Re: "Your leaders are all working very hard ...

      The 'leaders' should have to accept jelly of the month club memberships as their bonuses.

      3 1
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Your leaders are all working very hard ...

        KY, to help insertion of a reply?

        0 1
      2. Swarthy
        Reply Icon

        Re: "Your leaders are all working very hard ...

        JElly of the month.. made me think of "Jam every other day".

        I like that Bonus scheme for some of the craptop-level "leaders".

        Bonus Tomorrow

        Bonus Yesterday

        But never, ever bonus Today.

        0 0
  5. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    To the affected workers of HP...

    You have my sympathies. You work for a bunch of tossers that don't deserve your continued efforts.

    Hope you all have a merry xmas, and also on the upside - remember that there is plenty of work out there at the moment.

    5 0
  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Seems like 1999 all over again

    Are we sure that Meg is not Carly in disguise?

    HP took over Compaq and out came the P45's by the bundle.

    Will the last HP UK employee please switch off the lights on the way out the door!

    8 0
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If HP Execs didn't make $19 BILLION dollar cock-ups on a regular basis...

    ...then perhaps they wouldn't have to keep screwing over their staff to pay for it.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/02/26/shareholders_rolling_heads_hp_board/

    It's OK though - HP Execs still keep getting their million $$ bonuses and salaries, so they are OK.

    Welcome to the world of the 1% and fuck all the proles!

    15 1
    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: If HP Execs didn't make $19 BILLION dollar cock-ups on a regular basis...

      A very small violin plays for the megastructure that cannibalizes itself to put more lard on the head.

      One can only hope that "activist shareholders" will soon deploy their shark fins for a wakeup call.

      6 0
  8. Mtech25
    Megaphone

    Another Mangernism

    workforce management update

    A which point are large companies just going to say "your're been taken to a large farm where there is lots of space to run around, we just need to stop by the back of a wood shed first"

    I personally wonder if these managerist phrases aren’t just the managers trying to sooth there conscience as they kick people out to raise the stock value.

    I personally think that redundancies should only be used as a last resort and not the first stop to increase profits.

    4 0
    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Another Mangernism

      "the managers trying to sooth there[sic] conscience"

      You can't sooth the non-existent.

      5 0
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Another Mangernism

      Workforce Management used to be called Workforce Reduction, but Workforce Management sounds so much more cuddly and positive, doesn't it :)

      5 0
      1. thenim
        Reply Icon

        Re: Another Mangernism

        How very apt, some of thes folks should read the first chapter of When will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by Carlin, it's entitled Euphemisms...

        0 0
  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Whilst I do very much understand that the timing, impact and nature of this message is unsettling, I don't give a shit because you're not going to be here when I get back.

    Trololololol

    - Meg.

    8 0
  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Leaders"? Ha!

    HP has only one leader and that's Meg; everyone else does what she tells them to do and are therefore managers, not leaders.

    1 1
    1. cyrus
      Reply Icon

      Re: "Leaders"? Ha!

      Umm. I think we call them henchmen.

      8 1
  11. Hollerith 1

    Timing is all

    I once got told I was redundant the day back after Christmas break on 2 Jan -- right after I had maxed out my credit cards. I wished they had done it a few days before Christmas so I could have reined in my spending. They said they didn't want to spoil my Christmas... ffs, they spoiled the first couple of months of my new year.

    0 0
  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meg 'Slim' Whitman, slimming the workforce.

    1 0
  13. Cream_DJ
    Meh

    Good news, bad news scenario?

    Ironically, after not getting a payrise/cost of living increase for the past couple of years my (former) HP colleagues were given the news that they would be getting one this year, back dated to April to boot! A day of feeling good about working for HP ensued, that lasted all of about 24 hours before they received the email saying that a good majority of them may not have a job in the new year!

    "Merry Christmas, f**k you very much, HP x"

    10 0

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Most of the positions to go are in EDS, sorry HPES. All to be replaced by allegedly cheaper best shore staff who have no effing clue. I hear HP pays bonuses to HR staff who exceed targets for VR, ethics, what ethics ?

    4 0
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      I'm a former EDSer who got his release papers signed tail end of last year, after 11 years. One nail-biting period, but looking back jumping ship was the best thing I could have done. I'm now on nearly double the pay and the payoff more than paid for my wedding!

      1 0
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    copying IBM again?

    sounds so familiar. Probably same outcome, just faster. I wonder how much more the hate and loathing being built up will last before it really affects companies trying to sell their tat to ex-employees with much hostility to guide their decisions. Still the filthy rich get richer, the rest don't matter. Darwin at work, you know.

    0 0
  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stop bullying HR.

    And rightly so. These executives work hard and have real stresses to deal with. One wrong move and they could destroy the entire company, and the livelyhood of themselves as well as everyone in it. It is only right they get pay rises with this level of responsibility. If the workers were that good, they'd be director level as well.

    Also all this slagging off of HR on this site is bullying. They deserve our respect, not abuse for the hard work they put in. Without them, companies would collapse. You never see HR outsourced abroad, because they are many many times more valuable and skilled than programmers or front line workers. Load of sour grapes on this site!

    2 6
    1. Swarthy
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Re: Stop bullying HR.

      'Scuse me,

      You dropped this --->

      5 0
  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    aaaaaaaaand.......

    Fuck 'em.

    People get sacked. Welcome to the World©.

    Go get a new job, or if you can't, then indulge in this countries generous welfare system.

    0 5
  19. Tim99 Silver badge
    Coat

    I used to like HP

    Quite a while ago I found that HP had decent management, competitive products, good support and were generally pleasant to del with.

    Then they took many of the bits that I liked and put them into Agilent...

    1 0
  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just Lost My Job There

    It may sound a bit sour but I saw probably the worst coding of my professional career. Any attempt by myself or others to introduce modern techniques (that is post 1997) was greeted with loathing and hostility of a voracity I have never encountered anywhere else. I'm not suggesting its widespread throughout HP but it doesn't bode well for the future of the company.

    I won't miss them.

    P.S. Pulled a no notice clause in my contract too.

    1 0
  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    please me next

    Your article is slightly wrong the voluntary redundancy window closed mid December, the email apps dev employees get on the 2nd will be informing them they will be going, on a personal note i hope i am one of them after 14 years i cant stand HP managements total incompetency short sightedness and lies.

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