back to article OMG, like, TOTES AMAZEBALLS: Facebook made me fall into SHARK INFESTED SEAS

A Taiwanese woman was so engrossed in checking Facebook on her phone that she walked off a pier and fell into the sea. The woman was strolling along St Kilda pier in Melbourne at 11.30pm on Monday night when she plunged into the icy waters of Port Phillip Bay. Police launched a boat within minutes and were able to drag the …

COMMENTS

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  1. LaeMing

    Says something, at least,

    that she did allow herself to float naturally instead of panicking, not sure many could pull that one off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Linux

      Re: Says something, at least,

      The article says police believe she didn't know how to swim, but say she stayed afloat for 20 minutes. I'm skeptical.

      I think she looked like she didn't know how to swim because she was swimming with only one arm, with the other she was holding the phone and posting the following status update: "OMG I just walked off the pier and I'm waiting to be fished out! I hope my rescuer is cute LOL!"

      Tux icon, because like a penguin it appears she is as graceful in the water as she is ungainly on land!

    2. Gav

      Re: Says something, at least,

      That puzzled me too. If you can't swim, floating is even harder to do, because it's against every natural reaction you've got. Once you've mastered floating, basic swimming is just a matter of waving your limbs a bit.

      I reckon she either could swim up to a point, had something that acted as a buoyancy aid, or was a regular at a spa flotation tank.

      1. Eddy Ito
        Coat

        Re: Says something, at least,

        She could have looked up how to float on Gurgle.

    3. MrDamage Silver badge

      Re: Says something, at least,

      According to the reports i read on the SMH, she was kept afloat by her backpack. Dunno what was in it, but a decent sized, empty lunchbox with a good seal would have a decent amount of buoyancy.

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Says something, at least,

        Didn't need the back pack, air heads float naturally. Bulgarian air bags might also have helped if fitted.

  2. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

    Was the phone waterproof?

    1. Kane
      Coat

      Only if she had the latest iOS 7 update.

      1. Measurer

        iOS7 update....

        The very latest one turns phone INTO buoyancy aid, or so I've heard.

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: iOS7 update....

          I thought it had built-in shark proofing too.

          1. LaeMing

            Re: iOS7 update....

            Just avoid the update that turns it into a brick.

  3. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Sharks are...

    Partial to a mouthful of Asian spiced muppet.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Darwin award

    Hmm. Sounds like she just missed out there.

  5. Christoph

    She wasn't checking Facebook

    She was playing Lemmings

  6. IGnatius T Foobar
    Megaphone

    The implications are clear.

    Any reasonable person should be convinced, after reading this story, that it is irrefutable proof that Facebook should be shut down.

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge

      Re: The implications are clear.

      Reasonable people don't read El Reg ;-)

  7. Dramoth

    Sharks habitually swim past the end of St Kilda pier... quite a few years back one of them actually got lucky when a lunch pack landed right in front of it. The mobile lunch pack, better known as a human male had no idea that he was actually on the menu that afternoon and promptly expired from the surprise.

  8. Pete the not so great

    At least she appologised

    If it was a 'merkin they'd probably sue because the pier wasn't long enough.

  9. David Ireland

    Shock, as shark seen in Ocean

    You really had to work the shark angle, didn't you? She was in more danger of being run over, before she fell in the ocean, than she was of being bitten by a shark, after she fell in. But that's no fun, is it?

  10. JohnBengston

    Shouldn't worry too much about sharks

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/20-things-that-kill-more-people-than-sharks-every

  11. Martin Budden Silver badge
    Joke

    She could use the mirror app to reflect frikkin lasers.

  12. Mark 85
    Unhappy

    People never cease to amaze me..

    And yet they shouldn't, but what's with life-threatening things and cellphones? I've seen more than one pic of someone who's been hit by a car, shot, or badly injured in some manner. And the pic has them using their damn cellphone instead of trying to a) stop the bleeding or b) let the first responders do their job.

    I guess doing an update on FB is more important than having your life saved? Sad world... even sadder people.

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