back to article Nookie becomes, um, a virtual reality for Oculus Rift gadget gamers

The fate of human civilisation could now hang in the balance after some filthy-minded gaming enthusiasts in Tokyo showed off a rather ingenious device which allows the male users to have virtual sex. Virtual reality fans flocked to the Oculus Game Jam in Shibuya over the weekend to try out some of the latest gaming inventions …

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  1. JDX Gold badge

    which allows the male users to have virtual sex

    I initially thought this meant with each other!

    1. hammarbtyp

      Re: which allows the male users to have virtual sex

      Bit like world of warcraft then

    2. Andrew Newstead

      Re: which allows the male users to have virtual sex

      depends on the programming...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: which allows the male users to have virtual sex

      No there's an idea! I remember how in America's Army (the free propaganda game), all players play as Americans, but the opposing team in any given match appear as shadowy terrorists. How about a VR sex game where the other players always appear as hot chicks? It would use an appropriate avatar of course, but also automatically translate dirty talk, so "You make me sooo hard" becomes "You make me sooo wet" and so forth.

  2. Len Goddard

    Surprised

    I am, TBH, surprised it has taken this long for such a device to become available.

    However, you would have to have a LOT of trust in the technology to use it. Or be really desperate.

    1. tony72

      Re: Surprised

      Or just open-minded and willing to try new things? Virtual sex with your partner instead of phone sex?

  3. Monkey Bob
    Coat

    Haptic?

    Faptic, surely?

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: Haptic? @Monkey Bob

      Pure brilliance, Sir!

      Faptic - word of the day!

    2. Splodger

      Re: Haptic?

      Wait for the multiplayer expansion.

  4. Big_Ted
    Alien

    Now be honest

    You have 2 reactions to this.

    1: Euw

    2: I would like to try it

    Me I say what apart from cartoons do they have.....( And no I don't mean sheep llama's etc etc)

  5. codejunky Silver badge
    Devil

    So

    The Japanese found the answer. A woman you could turn on easily, turn off when your busy and avoid all the trouble of men not understanding women (we dont feel too bad as women dont understand women too).

    If this is the end of mankind then it sounds like we will go happy. And woman kind will be stuck with each other.

    I really hope the software is called anna may.

    1. Stevie

      Re: So

      Actually, all the Japanese have done is find a way to avoid the costs and physical exertion needed to "entertain" a Realdoll.

      At least with the manual alternative you get *some* exercise.

      Praise the Japanese and pass the Doritos.

    2. VinceH

      Re: So

      "The Japanese found the answer. A woman you could turn on easily, turn off when your busy and avoid all the trouble of men not understanding women (we dont feel too bad as women dont understand women too)."

      A Midnight Beast clip seems appropriate at this point.

  6. i like crisps
    Thumb Up

    Deja Vu...

    ...Didn't they have something similar on Red Dwarf?

  7. frank ly

    I watched the video

    That was some weird s**t. (Right at the end.) I found the entire situation there, as presented, to be very alienating and depressing.

  8. David Webb

    dot dot dot

    I had something smart, funny and pertinent to write about this, but after careful consideration I've decided.... that's just fucked up. After more thought, how much does it cost?

  9. btrower

    I guess I am too old

    People on /b keep posting pornographic cartoon imagery like this and it is still a head-scratcher for me. Getting busy with cartoon characters stretches my suspension of disbelief to the breaking point.

    Someone else here put it more succinctly: Euw

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I guess I am too old

      Thanks for calling us 'people.'

      You don't want to know what I've got in these pockets.

      1. Aaron Miller

        Re: I guess I am too old

        Spaghetti, no doubt.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I guess I am too old

      The explanation I've heard before is that they consider it less messy than "real" females, a more uniform "clean" experience.

    3. Stevie
      Trollface

      Re:Getting busy with cartoon characters stretches my suspension of disbelief

      But...Jessica Rabbit...

  10. Arthur 1

    "Anime cartoons"

    Given that nobody has started yelling about the phrase "anime cartoons" being used in the article, I'm guessing the device's target audience hasn't shown up yet.

    Or they're.... unable to type at the moment.

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: "Anime cartoons"

      Well, there is a market out there -- those people who don't have the ability to take matters in to their own hands.

  11. Arthur the cat Silver badge
    Happy

    Novint Technologies

    I notice that the linked Wikipedia page for the haptic control has an image with the caption

    "A pair of black Novint Falcons. The nearer one has the pistol grip attached, and the further one has the standard ball grip."

    If the ball grip is standard then they were obviously intended for this use from the start.

  12. i like crisps
    Thumb Up

    50 things to do before you die...

    #48: First parachute jump.

    #49: Swim with the Dolphins.

    #50: Hmm....oh yeah...#50: Spunk into an electronic sock....SORTED!!

    1. Andrew Newstead

      Re: 50 things to do before you die...

      Shouldn't that be "SHORTED"?

      1. i like crisps
        Happy

        Re: 50 things to do before you die...

        You get: A+, and an up vote.

  13. psychonaut

    patty cake patty cake

    does jessica rabbit count as anime?? if so im jizzing already.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A potential add-on for Google Glass?

  15. Stevie

    Hmm.

    I predict an uptick in Second Life sign-ups once this device can be bought from Target.

    1. LordHighFixer
      Go

      Re: Hmm.

      If OR worked with Secondlife then they could probably sell 25000 of them right now, as for the other device, there are always the "internet enabled" remote pleasuring devices for both him and her. Add a little software and thousands of people die of starvation and dehydration in a period of weeks .....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmm.

        It apparently does, at least to some extent. Haven't tried yet though; I'm a bit leery of venturing back there. I spent some time in SL back a few years ago, but eventually quit due to the constant propositioning from bored housewives.

        Seriously. It was bizarre.

  16. Bernard M. Orwell

    Suprise!

    I own an oculus rift and it's marvelous fun, but a constant problem I have with it is people creeping up behind me in the real world and scaring the bejesus out of me, as once I have my headphones on too my peripheral senses become nonexistent.

    It's usually the wife who thinks that its funny to make me scream in surprise.

    I dread to think what the screaming would be like if I added one of these to my...ahem...rig.

  17. T. F. M. Reader

    Prior art

    There used to be www.fufme.com some 15 years ago, just in case no one remembers. I suppose archive.org should remember it - go back to 1999 or 2000 (mildly NSFW).

    Oh, hell, for the lazy:

    https://web.archive.org/web/20000511122305/http://www.fufme.com/

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Prior art

      They've been continuously refined over time.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Prior art

      I remember that, made me chuckle at the time but I couldn't remember the short url.

      I saw that on a pentium 90 that I had to clean porn downloads (done by the boss) every day to claim back enough disk space to do work, ah the memories.

      Was never able to look at a beige 5 1/4" drive bay the same way again.

  18. Arachnoid

    That might explain why

    It was reported recently that the younger Japanese generation had gone off sexual relationships and were more "in to" technology

  19. Alan Brown Silver badge

    Sir, the groinal attachment has malfunctioned.

    Will any of the participants have a currey-stained tshirt?

  20. Euripides Pants
    Coat

    Woody Allen wants one

    Ever since that Orgasmotron incident in "Sleeper"...

    Mine's the one with the embarrasing stain. NO, not that one, the OTHER one!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Barbarella?

    Jane Fonda tried something like this, think it was a big organ.

    1. Euripides Pants

      Re: Barbarella?

      She seemed to enjoy the big organ too...

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