back to article Oooh! My NAUGHTY SKIRT keeps riding up! Hello, INTERNET EXPLORER

Microsoft has come up with a new way to market Internet Explorer to Asian customers, and it's a major departure from the kinds of ad campaigns we're used to seeing from Redmond here in the West. Inori Aizawa, the 'personification of IE' Here she is, Miss Internet Explorer Meet Inori Aizawa, Microsoft's latest spokeswoman. …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Inori is close, but not quite...

    As a furry, I'll stick with female anthropomorphic firefoxes as my browser mascots, thank you!

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

      And why would one need mascots? Especially for a browser?

      It is a harsh thing to say, but both FF and IE are trying to do everything except web browsing. FF used to be good...alas, those days are gone. Playing around with cute mascots instead of quality programming.

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

        Are you Japanese? Do you know how marketing and advertising work in Japanese culture?

        1. Stevie

          Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

          Singapore isn't in Japan. It's in Burma.

          1. Fibbles

            Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

            Singapore is a sovereign state, it's about 700 miles away from Burma.

            Also, why are we spouting random geographical facts?

      2. BRUMICON

        Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

        Umm. The new IE 11 is faster, more stable, and more secure than both Chrome and FF. Sounds like quality programming to me. But don't take my word for it. Plenty of 3rd parties have verified it. Or, you could download it and see for yourself. Don't get me wrong, I am a Chrome fan. But IE 11 has (as the video so obviously pointed out) become a serious contender. It will be interesting to see how Chrome and FF respond.

        1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

          Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

          Ah. You saw me lambasting Firefox, and helpfully offered IE?

          Too bad, IE 11 is still not a browser, it's trying to be a bloody platform (or a lifestyle, judging by the current article). It also comes with unacceptable prerequisites, hooks, lines and sinkers. Well, maybe acceptable to someone, but certainly not to this old geezer, who cannot even accept some later trends in FF development. Should really check what the IceWeasel / IceCat guys are up to.

          As for security & quality, this just in

          http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/11/11/ie_0day_menace/

          Remains to be seen if IE 11 has better magic beans in it.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

      Well look at that, another furry on here. And yes, anthro foxes for me too, ta. Did you see the group of them at (I think it was) Anthrocon the other year? Rawr.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

        I'm surprised I've never seen a suit of the Firefox fox at any furcon. Yes, there's anthro foxes at every Anthrocon (and every other furcon for that matter), no getting away from them especially for us wolves :3

        1. Dive Fox
          Pint

          Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

          I remember when it was next to impossible to find furries on the Internet. Beer, because FWA means Furries with Alcohol to me.

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

          I'm surprised I've never seen a suit of the Firefox fox at any furcon. Yes, there's anthro foxes at every Anthrocon (and every other furcon for that matter), no getting away from them especially for us wolves :3

          My roommate has a photo of it. I'll try and find them. Pretty sure if was FF, given the globe. There's also this lady, of course:

          http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/124/b/5/firefox_cosplay_hd_by_enjinight-d4yj6hm.jpg

    3. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

      Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

      Firefox replies with:

      http://i.gzn.jp/img/2006/12/16/firefox_logo_cat/fireboob_m.jpg

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

      http://d.facdn.net/art/arabesque/1383285657.arabesque_ashnet.jpg

      That's the hottest I can post in here. There are hotter, but... well, no.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

      IE is faster and has fewer security vulnerabilities than Chrome or Firefox these days though...

      1. BRUMICON

        Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

        This is what I keep telling people! IE has snuck up and become the fastest, most stable, and most secure browser. Chrome and FF are sitting on a glass floor. If they don't start to take IE seriously, they may find thier floor soon crashing; leaving them with the hurdle of recapturing lost users. FF i can kinda understand. But Chrome should know better. Let's just hope Chrome can catch up. :\

        1. Greg J Preece

          Re: Inori is close, but not quite...

          Hmmmm, joined just to comment on this article, two posts consisting only of how super-dooper-awesome IE 11 is.

          *Waves* Hi Microsoft!

  2. Vociferous

    Wont work.

    She's too old.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Wont work.

      Pedobear detected!

      1. Michael Habel

        Re: Wont work.

        Actually hes the Safety Bear...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Stop

          Re: Wont work.

          Peadobear I can live with, but if they introduce anything with tentacles, I am leaving...

          "Oh no! It's Appl, the evil octopus!!!"

          1. Old Handle
            Trollface

            Tentacles!

            I seem to recall hearing the tentacle metaphor applied more than once to IE itself, IE4 specifically. So perhaps it's Apple who will suffer a spaghetti breakfast in a later episode.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wont work.

          ...because "In her wordless debut teaser video that was released to the web on Thursday, a cloaked Inori is seen running through a decrepit cityscape while being chased by malevolent robots. Just when we think they've gotten the better of her and..." <Windows Update engages, disrupting said video, to download a number of "pre-zap" and "zero-day-flaw" patches and to force a restart after installation - The viewer logs in and re-launches the video URL then, after wading through the pre-amble> "..., she transforms into her magical IE form and sets them straight with a few zaps." - Reality bites mystique.

  3. Ketlan
    Unhappy

    Oh, dear...

    I despair, I really do...

    1. andreas koch
      Paris Hilton

      @ Ketlan - Re: Oh, dear...

      You beat me to it.

      Seconded.

    2. Vociferous

      Re: Oh, dear...

      It's not the first time Microsoft's done this: http://venturebeat.com/2012/11/01/windows-8-anime-girls-japan/

      And Microsoft is certainly not alone in the creepy manga department: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wikipe-tan_full_length.png

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oh, dear...

        > It's not the first time Microsoft's done this

        OS Tans have been around forever.

        ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OS-tan )

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

          Re: Oh, dear...

          Hell yeah.

          Google the linux tan images.

        2. Neoc

          Re: Oh, dear...

          Damn, AC@9:48 beat me to it.

      2. Chika
        Angel

        Re: Oh, dear...

        Actually, the history of the OS-tan is long. There are -tans for systems as old as MS-DOS 3, and the whole thing isn't tied only to Microsoft's output, although their first trip into this sort of thing was Nanami Madobe, the mascot of Windows 7.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OS-tan

      3. Tomato42

        Re: Oh, dear...

        @vociferous: I don't get why exactly is it "creepy manga department"... Just because Asian markets don't equate drawn characters with kids content?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh, dear...

      What, despair that you don't like MS or that you somehow feel superior to culture in other countries?

      Look at Japan there is this sort of thing all over the place - Anime characters representing products up ten story buildings. When I went even the 500 series shinkansen had anime robots on them.

      1. Stevie

        Re: Oh, dear...

        "What, despair that you don't like MS or that you somehow feel superior to culture in other countries?

        Look at Japan there is this sort of thing all over the place - Anime characters representing products up ten story buildings."

        Okay. We can relax then, as long as you'll stay cool the next time footage of some Islamic men herding a flock of burkha wearing women into their part of the mosque hits the airwaves. After all, what we're talking about is someone else's culture, no? And that's off-limits, discussion-wise, no?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oh, dear...

          Are you seriously equating being snobby about western perceptions of childish anime characters in Japan with oppression of women in unspecified countries ending in -stan? Because if you are, you are mixing up culture in terms of art with culture in terms of "we've always done it like this and see no reason to change" and "our religion says this is how we do things" (it doesn't) as an excuse for oppression and control of others. They are very different things and to equiate the two lessens the seriousness of the oppression.

          Get a fucking grip.

          1. Not That Andrew

            Re: Oh, dear...

            Yes but there is an element of "we've always done it like this and see no reason to change". Japanese culture is seriously misogynistic, and these sort of images only help perpetuate those attitudes.

            1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
              Facepalm

              Re: Oh, dear...

              > and these sort of images only help perpetuate those attitudes

              Then don't look at them.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Oh, dear...

              "Japanese culture is seriously misogynistic"

              I thought they just treated women as sex objects. Quite biologically rational really...We just hide it more here....

          2. Stevie

            Re: Oh, dear...

            "Are you seriously equating being snobby about western perceptions of childish anime characters in Japan with oppression of women in unspecified countries ending in -stan?"

            Who says anyone is being "repressed" in the scene I described, or that I envisaged it happening anywhere in Asia?

            I think you are the one with a loose grip.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oh, dear...

          "the next time footage of some Islamic men herding a flock of burkha wearing women into their part of the mosque hits the airwaves"

          Oh that's what it was. I thought the Star Wars remake had a low budget and they were the Imperial Storm Troopers.....

      2. Rukario
        Linux

        Re: Oh, dear...

        > Anime characters representing products up ten story buildings. When I went even the 500 series shinkansen had anime robots on them.

        The 500 series shinkansen had nothing on this train: http://youtu.be/GJdkD2GZRfU

  4. cdilla

    Calendar

    The calendar in her room has a nice reference to the Anime Festival Asia meet in Singapore this weekend.

    Makes a change from the usual advertising. I imagine it will have some success.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a note

    As a huge anime fan. I can see teh line "Or spokes ... cartoon?" irking many anime fans (if any visit here) for some reason a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons, even though they are just japanese cartoons technically.

    Anyway IE-tan already existed. Microsoft have just taken a fan concept (used to describe the relationships of the browsers) and claimed it as their own, not the first time tbh.

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: As a note

      "a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons"

      I appreciate your point. I'll be the first to say, as a former print graphic designer, that every frame of a top-flight anime is a work of art. But hey, we're blunt about everything. El Reg is an equal opportunities sneerer ;-)

      C.

      1. Soruk
        WTF?

        Re: As a note

        I like anime, but this? Creating an anime character just to be a marketing spokes-tan is getting just a bit beyond silly.

      2. Steven Jones

        Re: As a note

        "a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons"

        Indeed, no lesser an authority than Dr. Sheldon Cooper would agree,

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b0cPJ5884Y

    2. Tom 13

      Re: a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons

      I've always assumed that is mostly a 'Merkin thing.

      "Cartoons" on this side of the pond has usually meant Hanna-Barbera type morning kiddie shows. They want "Anime" to reflect that the artwork is more detailed (generally) and that the story lines aren't necessarily for kids. In fact "child friendly" is the last label you'd want to put on a fair amount of it.

      I see their point but like you think they overdue it a bit.

      1. Steve Knox
        Headmaster

        Re: a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons

        I see their point but like you think they overdue it a bit.

        Yeah, they really should get past that.

      2. h3

        Re: a lot of anime fans have a weird hatred of calling anime cartoons

        Even that has changed over time. Stuff like Popeye was watched by everybody. (Some of them are never reshown as they are racist). The propaganda episodes of it wouldn't have been much use if only children watched them. (e.g Spinach fer Britain).

  6. jake Silver badge

    Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd/ess.

    Microsoft's marketing department has finally lost it completely.

    Hopefully it's the beginning of the end of Redmond ...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd/ess.

      You're kidding, right? Microsoft is not trying to attract old curmudgeons like you, but the young… And this will work for them. Seriously.

      I wouldn't be surprised if there was a series in preparation :-)

      1. Vociferous

        Re: Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd/ess.

        If by "the young" you mean 8-12 year old girls and 20-40 year old males, then yes, the target demographic for manga are "the young".

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: not trying to attract old curmudgeons

        Of course they are. Who else is attracted to sexualised representations of little girls? Would they use outright child porn if they could get away with it? They know only one rule: sell!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd/ess.

      Yeah, damn Microsoft for tailoring their advertising to the cultural interests of the countries that they're advertising in.

      I personally hate it when we get generic badly dubbed American or European adverts in the UK, it's utterly transparent and alienates me from the product being sold.

      I hate it more when people somehow think that their way of doing things is better or more proper than other countries. I was in Japan recently and I found it refreshing that you'd be on the underground at rush hour and you'd see 40-50 something businessmen with little Maga characters hung as decorations off their phones. If you saw that in the UK, you'd think something was wrong with them for wanting to do that, but it's normal there. You see everyone reading Manga from 8 to 80, it's something like 50% of book sales.

    3. Fatman
      WTF?

      Re: Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd/ess.

      Microsoft's marketing department has finally lost it completely.

      I was beginning to suspect that when that dancing office worker ad campaign for the Surface ran.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Inori

    or Ignori?

    or Ignorami?

    1. P. Lee

      Re: Inori

      I read, "Ignory" first off.

      Do we still have browser fanbois? Chrome for research, FF for personal. IE for accessing microsoft.com and badly written intranets.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Inori

        I downvoted the FF for personal bit.

        A year or two ago, yes. Now? It's just too unstable.

        1. Greg J Preece

          Re: Inori

          A year or two ago, yes. Now? It's just too unstable.

          Can't remember the last time I managed to crash it, myself. Flash I can crash, but that's easy to recover from.

  8. NoOnions
    WTF?

    Creepy

    See title.

  9. Khaptain Silver badge

    Hentai ?

    Why not add a little bit of nipple too.........( fnaar fnaar)

    Depending on ones cultural background I presume that the image would be acceptable in Japan but unacceptable in Britain. Theresa May would have it classifed as Porn/PaedoBearImagery.

    (Pun coming up) : Just how does one draw the line between the two ?

    1. Soruk

      Re: Hentai ?

      How long before someone (4chan? looking at you) comes up with hentai images making malware-tans having their way with IE-tan....

      Of course, Rule 34 being Rule 34, if someone has thought about the possibility, it means someone else already has and if the images don't already exist, they're well on their way to existing.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hentai ?

        Rule 34 in action

        Forum page that is itself bland, but the topics listed are certainly NSFW.

        Wikipedia says that "OS-tans" have existed for a while now.

        1. Nigel 11

          Re: Hentai ?

          I was thinking tentacular porn, rather more Laundry than Rule 34 ... we all know about the Redmond cultists, don't we? (Embrace, Extend, Extinguish ...)

      2. Michael Habel

        Re: Hentai ?

        Quick >>>/a/

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hentai ?

        "hentai images making malware-tans having their way with IE-tan...."

        Better make them look dated then....These days IE is the best browser at blocking malware and phishing attempts....

        http://vr-zone.com/articles/tests-conclude-internet-exlporer-blocks-99-6-malware/40367.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=tests-conclude-internet-exlporer-blocks-99-6-malware

        1. Kiwi

          Re: Hentai ?

          .These days IE is the best browser at blocking malware and phishing attempts....

          So why is it then that all the machines I see that've had a "web based" infection (including the likes of "drive by downloads") are all from IE-only households, and nothing for FF/Chrome/Safari then? If it's so much more secure than other browsers it should be performing so much better.

          Or maybe the performance in all areas is poor because the product is poor? IME (which is gained from currently working at the front lines of IT repair for the last few years and a couple of decades largely in IT elsewhere) IE is still much (and noticeably) slower than anything else and security is still such an afterthought that it has yet to actually appear on IE.

    2. tempemeaty

      Re: Hentai ?

      @ Khaptain, Hentai of MS's IE-tan would be hilarious! LOL! (^-^)

      @ Soruk. Malware-tans having their way with IE-tan. That is hilarious as well! (>.<)/

      * giggle fits self into unconsciousness *

  10. T. F. M. Reader

    Hmm... The Windows logo on her behind... Yes, it drew attention... No I do not mean the logo... And no, I was not quite sure it was not an upskirt shot, but if it was it only asserts Microsoft's 1st Amendment rights... Right?

    1. Vociferous

      Gods, I hadn't noticed the bare buttocks in the top image until you pointed it out. Manga fanservice is pure class.

      1. Spleen

        I've heard of not knowing your arse from your elbow, but not being able to distinguish a girl's arse from her legs is a whole new level of weirdness.

        Ok, I suppose the bend of her legs makes them look a bit like a pair of buttocks if you squint - but come on, really.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Joke

          >but come on, really.

          He might of.....

        2. xyz Silver badge

          she's wearing panties...I've checked the video (twice)

          Now I just feel dirty...suppose I'd better "Teresa May" myself in. Can anyone at El Reg check with Redmond to see how old she is before we all get into trouble?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: she's wearing panties...I've checked the video (twice)

            How old? By some cosmic coincidence, she was born the same day as the first release of Internet Explorer, so she's over 18. Just.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Powered by Silverlight :)

          http://img0.pconline.com.cn/pconline/1311/07/3774716_06_thumb.jpg

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Headmaster

        Buttocks?

        Those aren't her buttocks, they are just her zettai ryouiki.

    2. Decade
      Childcatcher

      Escher Girl pose

      Oh my goodness, what is her hip doing underneath that skirt? She must keep her chiropractor in business.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Those are her thighs not her arse.

  11. Steven Raith

    Like some lasses I've known....

    She's likely unstable, and full of bugs.

    Hmm. Not sure if that's sexist or not. Let the mighty El Reg collective decide...

    Steven R

    1. Chika

      Re: Like some lasses I've known....

      Sounds just like Me-tan (Windows ME's unofficial OS-tan mascot, reputedly the one that started it all!)

      1. Steven Raith

        Re: Like some lasses I've known....

        I think I missed Me-tan - clippy was bad enough.

        El Reg has decided (at this point in time) 19 to 1 that my comment was interpreted more as humour than sexism. Thank you, fine commentards.

        Steven R

  12. auburnman

    Microsoft Mascots bad...

    Did they not learn from clippy?

    1. Nya

      Re: Microsoft Mascots bad...

      Oh come off it! The Office XP movies were brilliant.

      XP...X..X...Ex Paperclip! Along with Sgt. Xbox. Those videos were bloody brilliant. And probably one of the best bits of marketing MS has ever done.

  13. Dalek Dave

    How many Asians have blue eyes?

    And this is bordering on hebephilia and is more than a little 'Creepy' coming from a corporate hive mind like MS.

    Did they specifically desire a sexually provocative 13 year old with budding breasts and a short skirt to be their mascot?

    What next? Will she be doing Money Shots if you buy VS13?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think by anime standards she's probably a little old, most 'magical girls' are closer to 10 (remember cardcaptor sakura?)

    2. Nigel 11

      Very few Asians have blue eyes, but it's not completely unknown. I'm told that this is evidence that the Vikings travelled more widely than is commonly known

      Not that the Vikings were in the same league as Ghengis Khan.

    3. Sam 15

      "Did they specifically desire a sexually provocative 13 year old with budding breasts and a short skirt to be their mascot?"

      Budding?

      One of us needs a new monitor.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I can't believe I'm actually going to post this but perhaps you should consider the average cup size for those of Asian decent and then re-evaluate your impression of her age.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Did they specifically desire a sexually provocative 13 year old with budding breasts and a short skirt to be their mascot?

      Or their next CEO?

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "How many Asians have blue eyes?"

      Hardly any. It's a case of light skin / blonde hair / blue eyes is better looking the world over.

      They have so many fuglies they invented the Burka to give them a chance too...

  14. Slacker@work

    WTF??

    I had two tabs open, one on this and one on the story about the computer generated paedo bait - now confused as to which is which.

    1. John G Imrie

      Re: WTF??

      I thought her face book page was computer generated paedo bait

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WTF??

      Definite up vote for that.

  15. Sundra T

    Lame.

  16. Andy Roid McUser

    my favorite Internet Explorer Commercial

    This is more like it..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyGP0ZyxF5E

    1. Jay 2
      Happy

      Re: my favorite Internet Explorer Commercial

      My fave IE ad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9fhjnJcB0

      Unfortunately MS decided not to use it.

      1. codeusirae

        Re: my favorite Internet Explorer Commercial

        Should have choosen this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX8yrOAjfKM

  17. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Well it's a case of

    Bing goes for Bimbo

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She's the kind of girl you should avoid, or you will get a nasty infection - just like internet exploitdownloader.

  19. tony2heads
    Gimp

    re: next disaster will be:

    Surely it should be: chased by a googol of androids?

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: re: next disaster will be:

      Was that a giant Firefox villain rising in the last chase scene?

      I also noticed, she looked quite embarrassed in the end when she realised she was being filmed. What was she up to, chatting with that giant Firefox villain? Sending selfies?

      1. Big-nosed Pengie

        Re: re: next disaster will be:

        "I also noticed, she looked quite embarrassed in the end when she realised she was being filmed. "

        What's to be embarrassed about? She was just stroking her pussy.

        1. Fatman
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: re: next disaster will be:

          What's to be embarrassed about? She was just stroking her pussy.

          YOU owe me a new monitor.

    2. Arthur 1

      Re: re: next disaster will be:

      Along these lines, check out what happens if you visit the internetexplorertan page from the article in Chrome vs in IE. That's actually kind of funny.

  20. spider from mars

    what's the fuss?

    If you have a passing familiarity with Asian culture, you'll know that in context this is completely unremarkable.

    If there's anything here to laugh at, it's that "inori" means "prayer". Which I don't think they've got :)

    1. Vociferous

      Re: what's the fuss?

      > If you have a passing familiarity with Asian culture, you'll know that in context this is completely unremarkable.

      Yes, that is true: two of the ugliest sides of Japanese and Korean culture are the outdated 50's gender roles and their bizarre blind spot for pedophilia, both of which are prominently featured in anime.

      1. Spleen

        Re: what's the fuss?

        The culture that gave the world the Catholic Church has no business lecturing anyone on a "bizarre blind spot for paedophilia".

        1. Vociferous

          Re: what's the fuss?

          > The culture that gave the world the Catholic Church

          Perhaps not. Which culture is that? The one which slapped the Catholic Church with roughly $1B in fines?

          1. Greg J Preece

            Re: what's the fuss?

            Perhaps not. Which culture is that? The one which slapped the Catholic Church with roughly $1B in fines?

            Problem solved!

  21. KarlLin

    If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing.

    Everyone, especially in Europe, always jumps on the Microsoft sucks train. I guess you all prefer your European born OS and browsers that have found such success in the World. I am even surprised MS has survived in Europe with all the socialist, anti-competitive measures(massive fines) they have been attacked with. But I guess someone has to help support the economies over here, since the locals have become so unproductive.

    The animation characters are used throughout Asia, with great success, to promote most software products. If Opera used the Simpsons, would that be terrible? No. Asia is a much more important and larger market, with people that actually have money, not credit. So why not adapt marketing to what our market responds to?

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: That is what is referred to

      as a burn on you!

    2. Thecowking

      Re: If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing.

      You mean Linux and Android with the Europe born OS?

      Yeah, I do prefer them to Windows generally.

      The advert is specifically Japanese though, it would raise eyebrows across vast swathes of Asia, especially Southern and South Eastern. Well, maybe not in the Phillipines. It'll work well in Japan and probably South Korea though. South Korea's weird about IE.

      But hey, what do I know, I'm just a Brit who used to live in Beijing and happens to be ethnically Chinese. Not an American or Japanese.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing.

      I have to admire your non-European ability to speak via that small equus. Awash with money in your ocean of $17 trillion debt.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @KarlLin

      You won't hear any of those comments from me. In fact; I'm a happy Win7 and Office 2010 user and I consider these two products to be quite solid. In fact; I even don't hate Microsoft Explorer all that much (although I commonly use SeaMonkey myself). Their "In-Private navigation" option for example is something I consider to be quite slick.

      It's not so much hating, but some of the things MS does seem hypocrite. Take this, not too shabby, Anime. You see that the old "RGBY" Windows logo is strongly visible there. But wasn't it Microsoft themselves which recently told us that this logo is now obsolete and that we should focus our love and attention on a new, mono coloured, logo?

      It's stuff like that which doesn't add up. "We now have a new Windows logo", "And here we promote our product with the logo which we recently called old and obsolete". It doesn't add up.

      And being an Anime fan myself I can't help notice that story-wise Microsoft are now flaunting with the storyline of another product. I mean; looking at this video I'd say the girl more personalizes Netscape than Explorer. Think about it: shot down by Microsoft on numerous occasions (trying to twist the web by changing standards into non-disclosed standards) and although Netscape was heavily wounded (which is a nice touch in this video IMO) they sure knew how to defend themselves from the onslaught which was Microsoft.

      THAT is an accurate look at history. Yet as Microsoft has done so many times they now seem to be trying and rewrite history. Worse yet: using the storyline of their "victim" to promote their own goods, how sick is that?

      This isn't hating, this is Microsoft pulling yet another odd move.

    5. Kubla Cant
      Headmaster

      Re: If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing.

      If you can't spell "you're", your opinion on this means nothing.

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        Re: If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing.

        Hmmmm. I think the Taliban come out with a similar statement to this subject title, as do countries that have young girls marrying old men, and other places with laws we perceive as 'archaic' at best.

        Ok, I used extremes to prove the point (I'm not comparing Japanese to the Taliban etc.) but it shows that such a line of 'reasoning' is bogus.

    6. Gio Ciampa

      Re: If your not Asian, your opinion on this means nothing. (@KarlLin)

      And your first paragraph says the same about yours... (even if the second one is actually valid)

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tentacles

    If browsers were anime, then it would have been more appropriate to portray IE as tentacles doing their 'thing' to us poor users/developers...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Princess Robot Bubblegum!

    That transformation sequence (including the music!) awfully reminds me of the "Anime" episode which can be seen in Grant Theft Auto IV :-)

    In case you're wondering what this is all about then check out this page on the Rockstargames website (click "videos" at the bottom and you can see what I'm referring to).

    1. wowfood

      Re: Princess Robot Bubblegum!

      Anime reference, from rockstar, in a GTA game... Thats NSFW right?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Wowfood

        Well, there isn't anything directly explicit to be seen there but yeah; I wouldn't watch that while being at work.

        1. codeusirae

          Princess Robot Bubblegum ..

          @ShelLuser: "Well, there isn't anything directly explicit to be seen there but yeah; I wouldn't watch that while being at work."

          You do realize that 'Princess Robot Bubblegum' is taking the piss out of Anime?

          "Only a hypersexualized nerds fantasy can save humanity, by sleeping with it"

          http://www.rockstargames.com/IV/#?page=videos&content=princessrobot

          --

          re: the comments on this regarticle, I haven't laughed so much in ages ...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How far into the video does she have a "struggle cuddle" with something with tentacles?

  25. clean_state
    Alien

    Inari ?

    Change one letter and Inori becomes Inari, the japanese Fox-god. Inori means "prayer" by the way.

    Prayer, Fox, ... Firefox, ... Hmmm

  26. TitterYeNot
    Coat

    Wasteland

    So, the bombed out wasteland, is that an allegory for Windows 8?

    Sorry, couldn't resist, yes I'm going...

  27. Blarkon

    Linux version of this ...

    Is a fat bearded 40 something guy dressed up as a Japanese schoolgirl.

    1. Admiral Grace Hopper
      Flame

      Re: Linux version of this ...

      That's in my head now. I'm looking at the SLES build team and imagining ...

      I need mind bleach.

      Flammable material warning sign in the absence of the corrosive agent symbol.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: Linux version of this ...

      Google linux tan

      NSFW

  28. Kubla Cant
    Linux

    When I was younger...

    When I was younger, I used to be a clumsy, slow and awkward girl.

    However, just like the story of ugly duckling, people told me that I have really matured and changed over the years. I feel confident in my abilities now, and I'm eager to show you what I can do.

    Pass the sick-bag, Alice.

    I suppose this is some kind of confession, and it should read:

    When I was younger I was a crap browser that didn't comply with standards and I caused the proliferation of invalid HTML pages.

    However, just like the story of ugly duckling, people told me that I have really matured and changed over the years. Unfortunately, it's too late. By the time I became a swan there were lots of other swans, and many people liked penguins more, so nobody cared.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tired of hearng the same old bull muck!

    I've used IE for years and years!

    Why do I never experience the problems so may claim to experience? (it's just MS bashing so they can claim to be superior)

    I've tried others, but they always have their faults that I just can't get away with.

    IE for me please.

    Let the "BLA BLA BLA" begin!

    1. TheOtherHobbes

      Re: Tired of hearng the same old bull muck!

      "I've used IE for years and years!"

      Pervert.

      1. wowfood

        Re: Tired of hearng the same old bull muck!

        I think IE has been a good browser for a while now, but IE6 was god awful and it drove many people away. Most people haven't gone back. I moved from IE to Firefox, to chrome, nothing against IE really, just personal preference (except IE6 or earlier)

    2. Kubla Cant

      Re: Tired of hearng the same old bull muck!

      I've used IE for years and years!

      I don't think IE is vilified for the user experience it offers. The earlier versions, especially IE6, were a source of numerous problems for web developers and designers because they failed to adhere to HTML standards in some quite important ways. This has nothing to do with "MS bashing", unless you think that whatever Microsoft does is the de-facto standard.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Only glasses can be emasculating

    MS must have noted the general reaction to "Emasculating Smartphomes" and thought since they can'd be emasculating there must be reason. I'm calling my MS-Phone cousin to ask how's life.

    That will definitely attract more ladies into STEM careers.

    MS got it right this time, eh Googlers?

  31. Andrew Moore

    I liked...

    ...how Steve Ballmer appeared at the end of the battle.

    1. arctic_haze

      Re: I liked...

      She waked up just before he started to yell "Developers, developers, developers".

      Makes sense. This reminded her she had work to do. Even if it was only her homework.

  32. Longrod_von_Hugendong
    Holmes

    When I was younger, I used to be a clumsy, slow and awkward...

    And windows still is - oh, sorry you mean ie - awkward doesn't really describe it, try pile of crap festering on man y crap computers ruining the day of the human race. I think *that* is a better description.

  33. Colin Miller

    Is that a Microsoft ergonomic keyboard she's using?

    BTW, this sort of thing is called Moe anthropomorphism.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OK,, now that I have actually watched the video...

    IE developer team wish fulfillment? I'm not saying it's bad marketing though.

  35. asmb

    Marketing in asia

    fap fap fap

  36. IGnatius T Foobar
    Happy

    Use the proper terminology

    Use the proper terminology please. It's not "anime" anymore. They have returned to their roots and re-embraced the original term: "Japanimation."

    1. Suricou Raven

      Re: Use the proper terminology

      Anime: An English word derived from a Japanese word derived from a French word derived from an English word derived from another English word derived from a Latin word.

      At this point, I'm surprised there are still two syllables left in common with the starting point.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not only a woman, but an object too!

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      I thought object orientation was out and functional in?

  38. Greg J Preece

    Is it bad that I quite like this thing? I saw it the other day and the animation/design is pretty impressive. You have to admit, it's a step up from the 90s Microsoft ads. Who else remembers "W-w-w-Windows, Windows, 386!"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is it bad that I quite like this thing?

      Yes.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Is it bad that I quite like this thing?

        No.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Rip off

    I wouldn't be surprised if they get sued. They ripped off the character as well bits of the background music theme from a game character that appears in Capcom's Street Fighter, Sakura.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Rip off

      Maybe the Daicon IV intro makers should sue everybody

      DAICON IV OPENING ANIMATION, 1981

      1. ecofeco Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Rip off

        Maybe the Daicon IV intro makers should sue everybody

        DAICON IV OPENING ANIMATION, 1981

        OK, that was funny as hell!! Good find.

  40. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Geek's Dream Girl/Browser

    Cute, doesn't do much. And submits to practically any questionable request.

  41. sisk
    Trollface

    Based on the reactions of the commentards, might I suggest to Microsoft that the next IE mascot be a pedo-anthro-octopus-schoolgirl? And make her dead just to cover all the bases.

    I'll be over here....selling mindbleach for $20/gallon.

    1. J.G.Harston Silver badge

      Hokusai octopus

      So... have you seen the Shunga exhibition in the British Museum....?

    2. ecofeco Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      I think I just hurt myself laughing!

  42. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Inori targeted audience ..

    Inoris targeted audience: pubescent girls and middle-aged men :)

  43. Allan George Dyer

    Now I can't use IE...

    Health & Safety has some issues with lethal lasers in an office environment, and the wife would start looking for a lethal laser if I brought Inori home.

  44. herman

    Clippy, may his soul rest in pieces..

    At least this avatar does look a damn sight better than Clippy.

  45. leeph

    Marketing idea

    Those marketing dudes should have spelled it 'Inorie' so that at least it has the letters I and E in it.

  46. Gaius Maximus

    All true, but ...

    The weird this is that, for all the sexploitation, dirty old/single Japanese men and the vending-machine dispensed school-girl panties, my 22-year-old daughter (no victim type, to be sure) (but who swoons over Gerard Butler) absolutely loves this stuff. So do all her friends. She even has the figurines on her bookshelves, right next to the dozens of manga containing more of the same. And her favorite among them is written by a woman (?!).

    Anyone who thinks this is about men needs to rethink their position. Even my wife joins my daughter in LOVING that movie, Sucker Punch.

    Whiskey Tango Hotel, over?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: All true, but ...

      Sorry, but Sucker Punch was horrible, but it works well as a silent movie! It's a shame that the guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 are mostly out of business...

      1. LAGMonkey
        Alert

        Re: All true, but ...

        MST3000 "mostly out of business" ?????

        wander over to www.rifftrax.com and have a great time seeing that the guys are very much still in business.

  47. fearnothing

    I'm surprised nobody's commented on the fact that the avatar for a browser with a history of horrendous standards compliance has a W3C book on the shelf.

    1. Suricou Raven

      It's not as bad as it was.

      The looming issue is audio and video codecs. Microsoft will only support codecs they hold the patents on, not wanting to lend aid to their competitors. While other browsers (Safari excluded) are unable to support the codecs Microsoft does hold patents on, either because they can't afford the license of because the license terms are not compatible with the open-source model.

      Right now, if you want to use the new HTML5 video (Which is in every possible way an improvement over the horrors of flash) you need to have two different versions encoded and uploaded, at least: The IE one (mp3 and h264 in an mp4 container) and the everyone-else one (Webm with vorbis, usually). It gets a lot worse if you want to deal with device profiles too - you can mange without, but only by sacrificing either file size or compatibility.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Microsoft will only support codecs they hold the patents on, not wanting to lend aid to their competitors. While other browsers (Safari excluded) are unable to support the codecs Microsoft does hold patents on"

        That's just rubbish. Microsoft video CODECs are in FRAND patent pools and can be licensed for relatively peanuts. They are also included in standards such as BluRay.

        "The IE one (mp3 and h264 in an mp4 container) and the everyone-else one (Webm with vorbis, usually)."

        So a commercial standard that pretty much everyone uses, versus freeware that has a questionable patent position that hardly anyone uses....

  48. YeahRight

    This actually made a little bit sick into my own mouth.

    You know what would make me try IE? A simple statement along the lines of 'We know we roayally fucked you all about, now we're trying to get our act together.'

  49. Anonymous C0ward

    Rule 34?

    1. ecofeco Silver badge

      Oh you know that's right!

  50. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Help us, Theresa May! You are our only hope!

    This thread sure incites the curtain twitchers to come out of their cultural hiding holes.

    I bet 50 quid that they let their daughters out of the house in similar dresses on Friday night. Or worse. Quite probably worse.

  51. nematoad
    Happy

    So what are MS trying to tell us?

    That IE is a load of arse?

    Personally I've always thought that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You know IE is now growing market share again for the past few months? (Currently at about 57.8%)

  52. ecofeco Silver badge

    A whole subculture

    I did not know about.

    Kinky anime and furries? Sure. Connected to computers as legit marketing strategies?

    Too weird. *ruefully shaking head* Nothing against, just.. strange.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A whole subculture

      If a teenager in a short skirt is your definition of kinky, get out more.

  53. kath_r

    I have to admit, looks like they've noted the market they want and actually tailored the marketing... and a quick deconstruction of the visuals shows that they've got a nice set of automated assumptions that should attract the attention of purchasers in japan - we have the inevitable "nekkid flash" but the (aiui) cultural context for japan would indicate M$ has said "the product is pure and decent and you love this (you don't get naked transforms without purity. weird I know) it's neatly encapsulated that their product multitabs massively and simply, (and people are still using ie6...) it automatically protects against virii and other attacks, and is a product for everyone (secret identity)

    it's not a bad piece of marketing, and as people have said repeatedly, os-tan's are far from new.

  54. Windows8

    Nice

    I thought it was a fun commercial, I do enjoy anime and this was a nice spin for an IE ad.

  55. Parax

    I liked the video...

    I think microsoft should stick to making videos.

  56. DV Henkel-Wallace
    Trollface

    "custom Inori skin"????

    ewww....I hope they at least tan it first.

    Will they use a contrasting colour for the stitching?

  57. Gordan

    Pretty much sums up our experience from every time we've used IE

    Is it the scorched earth backdrop at the end of each use that is the most analogous?

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