back to article MEGA ASTEROID could 'BLOW UP EARTH' - Russian space boss

A freshly discovered asteroid, with the classy name 2013 TV135, has a slight chance of smashing into Earth on August 26, 2032 and ruining everyone's day in a very big way. "A 400-metre asteroid is threatening to blow up the Earth,” Russian vice-premier Dmitry Rogozin, who runs Russia's space industry, posted on his Twitter …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "level one threat on the Torino impact hazard scale"

    ...presumably being equivalent to the effects of the earth being hit by a transonic 1975 Ford Gran Torino?

    1. LarsG

      Fantastic, no need to save up for a pension, might as well spend it now!

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        My kind of Keynesian!

    2. Danson
      Happy

      I had a 1970 Torino, does that count?

    3. asdf
      Holmes

      size or weight

      The meteor that formed the huge Meteor Crater in Arizona was only about the size of a semi truck. The weight of Ford Torino would be bad (very locally) but the size would be far worse (fairly regional).

  2. Johnny Canuck

    Great!

    I'll be 80 years old by then so it'll either be a heck of a way to go out or funny as hell watching all the nutbars panic.

    1. Winkypop Silver badge

      Re: Great!

      I'll only be 70, so I'll be fit enough to still carry the beer, we can watch together!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Great!

        I'll be late 70's ... I'll bring a pickup-load of Corneys of miscellaneous homebrews, the wife will drive in a second pickup full of Zin and Souv Blanc, and maybe my daughter & grandaughter will drive in a third truck with a pile of preserved meat, cheese and homemade bread. Might as well share binging on the good stuff, if we're all actually going to die :-)

        Live life like you mean it ... it ain't going to last forever ;-)

        1. Peter Ford

          Re: Great!

          Zin and Souv Blanc "good stuff" ? I'll hang on to my 2005 Chateau Figeac - should be about ready to drink then...

          </winesnob>

          1. jake Silver badge

            @Peter Ford (was:Re: Great!)

            Whatever. I have about forty dozen cases of Brandywine that are over twenty years old. Yes, that's right, aged beer. It's tasty.

            My Zin and Souv Blanc are built to be enjoyed young.

            "</winesnob>"

            Read: "plonker with no clue about fermented beverages".

            1. Fink-Nottle

              Re: @Peter Ford (was:Great!)

              A real wineslob would be debating whether the end of the world was sufficient reason to try a bottle of that port they laid down in the 80's ...

        2. Sir Runcible Spoon

          Re: Great!

          "my daughter & grandaughter will drive in a third truck <snip> Might as well share."

          Sounds good :)

        3. Cubical Drone

          Re: Great!

          Hey Jake,

          Post the date, time and location, and I am there. I will also bring a smoker and various pork products.

      2. Ralph B

        Re: Great!

        Hey, we've just witnessed the start of an apocalyptic, vicennial geronto-bromance!

        What were the chances of that?

      3. EddieD
        Happy

        Re: Great!

        My 68th birthday - I'll probably be so drunk I don't notice the apocalypse :)

  3. rcorrect

    We've got a better chance at world destruction than me winning the lottery. Sweet.

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
      Coat

      That's alright. I didn't buy a ticket...

    2. Lars Silver badge
      Joke

      "We've got a better chance at world destruction than me winning the lottery. Sweet." There is a simple solution saving as all, just fill in lots of lottery tickets, That will fix the mathematics too.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > We've got a better chance at world destruction than me winning the lottery. Sweet.

      With my luck, I'll win the jackpot the day before it strikes.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Looks like the nuke boys are looking for new jobs (remember the CIA wanting to go into copyright enforcement at the end of the cold war)? Well, they may have a case in this case: With need for nuclear weapons questioned, builders find a new target – errant asteroids.

        Course there are still several thousand warheads ready to give all of humanity a really bad 6 hours day whenever somebody accidentally farts at the wrong frequency in an underground control room, but hey, you don't get to have an aggressive primate brain without having to take on some risks, right?

      2. Ronny Cook

        Chances of winning the lottery...

        > Meanwhile, your chance of winning the UK lottery is 1 in 13,983,816

        And I didn't even enter the lottery. Those UK lottery folk are might generous.

  4. raving angry loony

    Wrong date?

    You sure it's not 19 January 2038 at 03:14:07 GMT? Pity really. Now THERE'S a timestamp worthy of a Mayan-level apocalypse. Oh well, maybe they'll try to take the Northern Line and be delayed a few years.

  5. jake Silver badge

    During the meanwhile ...

    The chances of me actually playing the lottery are roughly one in infinity. Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

    I'll take my chances on the universe throwing rocks in my general direction. Not that I have any choice in the matter. Note that I'm typing about 400 yards from the Rogers Creek Fault, probable home of the Bay Area's Next Big One, and I sleep quite soundly, thank you :-)

    1. S4qFBxkFFg

      Re: During the meanwhile ...

      "Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s)."

      There are some important exceptions to that assertion; in some cases (e.g. after several consecutive rolled-over jackpots, it's quite possible for the prize multiplied by the win probability to be greater than the price of a ticket.

      It does get complicated when accounting for all the other factors (taxes, multiple winners with the same numbers, lesser prizes for matching less numbers, etc.), but there are situations it actually makes sense.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: During the meanwhile ...

        "it's quite possible for the prize multiplied by the win probability to be greater than the price of a ticket."

        Yes. For someone, somewhere. But look at the odds.

        Everybody else ... not so much. Learn how math(s) works.

        1. The Jon

          Re: During the meanwhile ...

          by my maths, if I buy a £2 lottery ticket then I am infinitely more likely to win the lottery than if I didn't...

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: During the meanwhile ...

            >if I buy a £2 lottery ticket then I am infinitely more likely to win the lottery than if I didn't...

            But if you don't then you are only 1 in 130,000,000 less likely to win and you have saved £2!

            1. Martin Budden Silver badge

              Re: During the meanwhile ...

              But if you don't then you are only 1 in 130,000,000 less likely to win and you have saved £2!

              If you don't buy a ticket you are actually infinitely less likely to win (not "only 1 in 130,000,000 less likely to win"). Yes you have saved £2.

        2. Chris Miller

          Re: During the meanwhile ...

          No it's jake who needs to learn math(s). The UK national lottery used to be £1 (now £2) a ticket with a 1 in 14,000,000 chance of winning. Rollover jackpots were frequently estimated to be (and actually were) in excess of £14 million, in which case it was perfectly rational to buy a £1 ticket with an expected payout well in excess of £1 (once smaller prizes were taken into account). Of course, you had only a 1 in 14 million chance (per ticket) of winning the big one, but the maths still stand up.

          Nevertheless I agree that, in general, lotteries are a tax on the ignorant.

          1. jonfr

            Re: During the meanwhile ...

            The chance of winning the lottery is around 0,0000003% (small winnings) and winning the big price is around 0,000000020% at any given time (using flat normal lottery system with 10 lines in any game). The question is not how much is spent on the lottery ticket. It's an question if you are just using plain lottery ticket or mathematical ticket (more expensive but give extra numbers and lines in return that increase your chances to win).

            It is possible to win the lottery using mathematics. What can't account for is the random factors of number alignment. By using mathematics you can increase your chances by several factors. I also have the rule (and it pays out as expected), the rule that you got more chance to win smaller amount than larger ones.

      2. Rocket888

        Re: During the meanwhile ...

        "Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s)."

        People who think that are people who aren't smart enough to understand that the utility value of cash isn't linear.

        Small and huge amounts of cash (relative to income) are useless - the stuff in the middle is the life-changing bit.

        For example, someone on a reasonable salary can lose £1 a week without it having any effect on their life but winning multiple millions on the lottery is live-changing (whether for better or worse!)

        The only people who shouldn't play the lottery are very poor people who can't afford it and people who's life wouldn't be changed by winning (either because they are already as rich as Croesus or because they aren't motivated by money)

        1. Swarthy
          Pint

          Re: During the meanwhile ...

          "Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s)."

          I find Lotteries to be more a tax on Optimists. And I approve, they should be taxed on the half-full glass. Pessimists should get a discount, on account that half of their glass is empty.

          Personally, I'm half-way to my next drink.

        2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

          Re: During the meanwhile ...

          Small and huge amounts of cash (relative to income) are useless

          Nonsense. For the price of a lottery ticket I can buy a cup of coffee, which improves my standard of living significantly, if only for the short term.

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: a tax on people who can't do math

      Lottery winners don't have to do math anymore

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

      Well, sort of: some people just find waiting to see if their numbers have come up entertaining; in which case it might be seen as cheap entertainment. For others, they might have a spare pound a week, and consider the miniscule chance of extreme good fortune worth a shot. But going (eg) short of food, heating, or whatever else to play the lottery definitely is not sensible.

      I don't think most of the people who play the lottery do so because because they can't do maths: they do it because they have the ticket money, and they like to believe they might win. That's psychology, not (lack of) maths.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

        Even if one ignores the potentially valuable intangibles of fun and hope there are lots of different ways of doing the calculations for this sort of thing. One of them is that for minimum outlay of money and effort (effectively no opportunity cost) it takes the chances of becoming a multi-millionaire from zero* to non-zero - so assuming that outcome is desirable it's infinitely better to be in than not.

        *Zero for most people - certainly for me.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

          "Even if one ignores the potentially valuable intangibles of fun and hope"

          This is the Reg forums. One definitely ignores the potentially valuable intangibles of fun and hope.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

            1 in 3000 people in the UK of working age earn more than a million GBP a year -- but how many people think they have more chance of winning the lottery than ever earning that much?

      2. WAYNE SCHARF

        What's really wrong with metric...

        Here's the tihing..".rising expectations" is everything!

    4. sisk

      Re: During the meanwhile ...

      Lotteries are a tax on people who can't do math(s).

      I buy lottery tickets three or four times a year because I find it quite fun to imagine I might win even though I'm well aware of the odds. For the amount of entertainment I get out of pretending the ticket I just bought might just be a winner for a few days it's well worth the $2 it cost. And since I'm only pretending I can win there's no letdown when I lose.

      Also, the last three times I've bought lottery tickets I've actually gotten back more than I spent on the tickets. The game I normally play when I play pays $3 if you match two numbers, which I've managed to do every time through shear dumb luck. So, technically, I've won the lottery three times this year :-)

      (If I ever win a jackpot I'll probably die of shock before I can claim it. That's not what I play the lottery for.)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: During the meanwhile ...

        "If I ever win a jackpot I'll probably die of shock before I can claim it."

        So, basically, when you buy a lottery ticket, you're playing a form of Russian Roulette, but with significantly better odds. Interesting way of looking at it...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    2032?

    Maybe the Mayans forgot to carry the 20?

  7. Charles Manning

    That will save us all....

    Next week I was going to work on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2038_problem

    I'll take a few days off instead.

    1. Martin Budden Silver badge

      Re: That will save us all....

      Erm, except that Y2038 arrives *before* the earth-shattering* kaboom. So get working!

      *Yes I know it worn't actually shatter the earth, but it's a good phrase and I like using it, so there.

  8. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Devil

    Don't worry!

    (...this side of the earth at least.)

    This thing is going to hit New York. It always hits New York. Or Washington DC. Didn't you watch the documentaries?

    1. Gotno iShit Wantno iShit

      Re: Don't worry!

      It really is an unlucky country, America. Or rather North America. Whoops no, I mean the smaller southern portion of North America. Big as countries go sure but for a space rock heading for Earth with so much surface area to choose from, even so much land to choose from not actually large at all. There must be some magnetism effect I guess. Poor merkins.

      1. John Sager

        Re: Don't worry!

        I can tell you exactly where it'll hit - not NY or DC, but Yellowstone Lake. 2 Ameriapocalyptos for the price of one. Those survivalists in Idaho will definitely be in the wrong place!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Don't worry!

        There must be some magnetism effect I guess. Poor merkins.

        Or some gravitational effect: the space rock is drawn towards the densest minds.

    2. fandom

      Re: Don't worry!

      Of course I watch the documentaries and there are always a couple fragments that end up in the Eiffel tower and the Big Ben.

      1. pepper

        Re: Don't worry!

        I say we give the Eiffel Tower and the Big Ben to the USA Citizens in 2030, as a token gift of our appreciation for them playing a galactic shooting disk, mighty kind of those former-rebel states!

      2. John 62

        Re: Don't worry!

        "Of course I watch the documentaries and there are always a couple fragments that end up in the Eiffel tower and the Big Ben."

        Leaving aside the naming of Elizabeth Tower (ne the Clock Tower*), are those the ones in Las Vegas or Europe?

        * TIL the name St Stephen's Tower was erroneously applied to the Clock Tower at the Houses of Parliament

  9. Pete 2 Silver badge

    The lesser evil

    > only two bodies yet found that may threaten Earth

    The other being whichever "body" has his finger on the big red button?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The lesser evil

      I was going to say, "the other one being your mom"...

  10. JeffyPoooh
    Pint

    Thursday

    I told ya so. Don't wait until Friday to do lunch. Go out on Tuesday too, just in case...

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Thursday

      "Go out on Tuesday too, just in case..."

      Doesn't Hot Fudge Sundae fall on Tuesday?

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Thursday

        Yes. Yes it does.

        But what if it's iron-nickel? That would really be a kick in the teeth. Even still-standing boiling water reactors won't save us then.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So the 2048 one we can just get out of its path... 50megatons, bah...

    but 2500 megaton impact... well that is sort of end of world shit right? is this an E.L.E. if it hits?

    I guess I have 19 years to build 3 deep bunkers positioned around the world to hide in (a bunker near the impact site would be useless, so better have 3 to be sure..)

    1. Tom 260

      2500 megaton is not that huge, you'd easily survive just a hundred km away. Try some of the asteroid impact calculators (eg. http://impact.ese.ic.ac.uk/ImpactEffects/ ), the megatonage does vary a lot depending on impact velocity and what it hits, but I'd suggest less than 15km/s with a density of 3000kg/m^3 to get near the 2500 megaton figure.

    2. sisk

      An article I read a while back (ok, several years back) claimed that if the Czar Bomba had been built to it's original, 100mt specifications the climate change it caused would have been catastrophic. Mind you, I never looked into the credentials of the author and the tone of the article was "OMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE FROM....er....something".

  12. Stoneshop
    Black Helicopters

    What about

    the 6+ billion bodies already on earth? Quite a few of those are pretty threatening.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Lucifer's Hammer" in real life...

    What the title says

    1. AndrueC Silver badge

      Re: "Lucifer's Hammer" in real life...

      And it looks like hot fudge sundae will be on a Thursday :)

      ..although as it's an asteroid that quip barely works :-/

  14. Tromos

    Lottery odds

    My chance of winning the UK lottery is 1 in 13,983,816. That's amazing. What would it improve to if I bought a ticket?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lottery odds

      That depends on whether you bought a ticket with the winning numbers or not.

      1. DropBear

        Re: Lottery odds

        Well that in turn depends on how much they would charge me if I did ask for the winning ticket instead of a regular one.

        1. Danson
          Happy

          Re: Lottery odds

          With my luck I'll buy a ticket and win the Jackpot the same day the rock toasts our bacon!

  15. Frumious Bandersnatch

    What I'll be doing

    Provided I'm still alive, it might be a good time to grab the "Fish Story" record from the shelf and take it for one more spin.

  16. Danson
    Mushroom

    HA! :)

    I'll almost be 80. I like fireworks!

  17. bachcole

    By August 26, 2032, 99% of all energy production on Planet Earth will be done by LENR. Coal, natural gas, oil, solar, wind, and geothermal will all be mostly obsolete. And space travel will also be powered by LENR, and our capacity to divert even a huge asteroid such as 2013 TV135 will be greatly enhanced.

  18. Vision Aforethought
    Alert

    What's really sad...

    ...and if you watch most of Jame's Burke's Connections (1970s BBC science series, similar to V-Sauce on YouTube) you'll appreciate this, is how all our discoveries, developments and learning will all have been for naught. Unless of course we can document and archive the best of our work in such a manner that it is legible by other species and will survive drifting through space for millennia on the autonomous space craft we will be launching prior to our demise. #2032ThisWasUs

  19. Trainee grumpy old ****
    Boffin

    1:1,000,000

    As we all know: Every time there is a one in a million chance of something happening then it will happen. The corollary of this is - if it's not got a one in a million chance then it will not happen.

  20. regorama

    shouldn't think we will do anything , too expensive for a species obsessed with the cost of everything

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