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back to article GTA players get ersatz $0.5m each to make up for delayed hooker-beating fulfilment

The makers of Grand Theft Auto have apologized for teething problems in getting the online multiplayer version of the game up and running and are handing out half a million dollars of in-game currency to all players to make up for it. "In order to keep the current worldwide in-game economy balanced, we will be providing this …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Works for me.

    I have a PC and want all those bugs worked out before it hits the shelves. That and knowing XBOX players are being irritated? Feels like Christmas.

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    1. FrankAlphaXII
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      Re: Works for me.

      Rockstar hasn't even announced it for PC yet, so you might be waiting awhile. They're fools if they don't release a PC version, but they do take their time. If you recall, Vice City on PC came out six months after the PS2 version.

      But I'm with you on the Xbox schadenfreude, but when you work surrounded by a bunch of Call of Duty Bros (who should really know better considering we're in the fucking Army) who will not shut up about "Chief Alpha, you really gotta get a 360! And an Xbone!", you get a little sick of hearing about it.

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Works for me.

      There are a lot of things they haven't got working yet. The game goes on about the iFruit app for your phone (allows car customisation, training of the dog etc) but as yet, its not available on Android.

      If I ever delivered something half finished to my customers, I'd be in a heap of trouble.

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    3. Amorous Cowherder
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      Re: Works for me.

      I think we can assume the developers probably aren't proud to release a half-broken product but once again management made promises to marketing, and marketing made promises to publishers and promoters!

      All together now..."Money makes the world go-round, the world go-round..."

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wow, really lame.. If they are going to give out some virtual in game content, that is all equally virtual, then why not DLC?

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    >But splashing out half a million dollars on each player is a big payday for all concerned.

    Heh, just what the American Fed. has been doing for the last year or three.

    Look where it got them.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Indeed - take a look at GDP and unemployment stats for the US vs. the Euro zone since we started doing QE, and see where it got us! :D

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      1. Charles Manning
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        "ndeed - take a look at GDP and unemployment stats for the US vs. the Euro zone since we started doing QE, and see where it got us! :D"

        Yep, only a trillion or so deeper in debt.

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  4. Arachnoid

    Characters disapearing from the game?

    Sounds like a hit man at work, someone call the cops!

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  5. rcorrect
    Thumb Up

    This will provide an incentive for everyone playing GTA to become law abiding citizens in the game. I am delighted by this news.

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  6. asdf

    can't resist

    Who plays a third person shooter online anyway?

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sluts.

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  8. ecofeco Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Great subtitle

    The game? I could give a rat's arse.

    The subtitle of this article? Genius!

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  9. rastakin

    Your Title is terrible and you should feel bad

    It's nice you wanted to cover this, but try being a bit less sensational when it's clear you've never played this game.

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    1. Peter2 Silver badge
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      Re: Your Title is terrible and you should feel bad

      Welcome to El Reg, a tech tabloid.

      Everybody gets similar titles on stories about their company. Apple and Microsoft don't get any special editorial treatment, so I wouldn't think Rockstar are likely to.

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    2. John H Woods Silver badge
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      I offended an acquaintance ...

      ... who told me that Rockstar's morals were awful: he found out his 12 year old nephew was bragging about murdering prostitutes for money in GTA IV. I told him that as it was an 18-cert open world game where you were able to do a vast number of non-mission activities, and - to a large extent - make your own choices about how you play the game, the only morals that appeared to be at fault were the parents' and the child's.

      He never spoke to me again.

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      1. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I offended an acquaintance ...

        You should've told him it's actually a progressive learning tool.

        It teaches you to kill the hooker after you screw her so you can get your money back.

        Some people of my generation were in their 20s before they discovered that...

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        1. Anonymous Coward
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          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I offended an acquaintance ...

          re: ac@11:03

          What were they doing previously? Killing them beforehand?

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      2. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I offended an acquaintance ...

        You're not supposed to kill them. If you kill them, they stop being a source of income (among other things.) You simply kidnap them and relocate them to your turf.

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      3. Black Rat
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        Re: I offended an acquaintance ...

        Oh chuffin brilliant.. How long before RockStar starts divulging (or selling) players psych profiles to interested parties?

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  10. Grogan Silver badge

    Umm, so what? You'll have tens of millions of dollars in no time, just by playing the game and buying investments etc.

    You better throw them a bigger bone than that, lest you insult.

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