back to article Swap your old iPhone for a new one, Tim Cook tells British fanbois

Apple is reportedly planning to export its US in-store iPhone exchange scheme to the UK and allow British fanbois to swap their old Jesus Phones for shiny new ones. According to shadowy Cupertino sources quoted by rumour site 9to5Mac.com, Apple has begun training British staff in the difficult skills required to swap one phone …

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  1. jeremyjh

    The importance of shopping around

    Bloody hell. Let's hope the prices they offer are better than the estimate. I just got £186 for my 4S from one of the recyclers. I could perhaps have got more by eBaying it, but that would have taken time and effort.

    And yes, I did get a 5S. The best feature for me is the newly larger screen size. Larger, that is, than a 4S, given that I didn't have a 5. As for the fingerprint thing, not fussed at all.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The importance of shopping around

      The fingerprint sensor is a feature that does not seem a big deal at first but after you have been using it a while and unlocking your phone with a quick click you wonder how you managed before with click - swip - 4 digit PIN.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The importance of shopping around

        best available techniques is not to use a swipe + 4 digit PIN as the Lunnon Met. has taken to d/l entire phone of passing strangers after a covert 20 second crack of the 4 digit PIN, allegedly.

        A 6 to 8 digit pass-phrase currently allows your data to keep out of whatever NSA/GCHQ/PRISM/Income-Tax database all of your stuff/connectivity/'hobbies' would otherwise end-up in. (The pass phrase should keep nosey PCs out for at least 20 minutes...)

        I've not heard of PCs yet asking for the fingerprint - or offering you sticky Haribo sweets - as part of this digital-DNA grab...

        Yes I do own multiple K20x's...but the distributed system comes online soon!

  2. Darren Barratt
    FAIL

    Just checked a well known purchaser of old phones and they'll give you £240 for your old Iphone 5 (16gb).

    Apple store can do one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Well it's pretty obvious you pay more for Apple type service :)

  3. Phil A.
    FAIL

    £158?? What a ripoff!

    A quick look at Mazuma shows they're offering between £240 and £260 for an iPhone 5 (depending on size), and you can spend that anywhere you want 'cos they pay cash, not put credit on a store card.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: £158?? What a ripoff!

      Except it's speculation as the exact prices have NOT been announced as different countries may have different resale values and VAT etc.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least Apple stuff has a second hand value - I bet most Android handsets are in the £5-40 bracket and end up in a drawer.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not just Android, Windows Phones are terrible, a less than 12 month old Nokia 920 was £160 when traded in.

      I'd imagine you'd have to pay someone to take a Blackberry off you. They're probably a good defence again mugging, just flash the Blackberry and they'll leave you alone.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        They would probably give you something better out of pity.

    2. Piro Silver badge

      Damn!

      Why wasn't I informed?

      I bought the last two of my android phones off ebay and they cost considerably more.

    3. Lottie

      No idea

      Never heard of a manufacturer called Android. Surely the folk who produce the OS could sue if that were the case?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No idea

        High end Android phones like GS3 or GS4 have considerably higher trade in value than that. They do lose their value notably faster than iPhones, but don't go down anywhere near as low as you suggest in a year.

        This really only matters if you expect to replace your phone before it dies - tends to reduce the effective price of an iPhone since you know you'll get quite a lot out of it in 12 or 24 months when you decide to upgrade.

  5. uhuznaa

    No one of you seems to have any business sense. Just the no-need-to-think comfort of walking into the store and coming out with a new phone while leaving your old one there means that if will work out fine even if people could get more money elsewhere. People are lazy and have no problems to pay for comfort and not having to deal with selling their phone by themselves.

    Which does not mean that it has to be a good thing for you (or me) but seeing that this will be a totally fine option for many others can't be that hard. I know lots of people who have their old gadgets gathering dust in a drawer just because they never come around to actually sell them although they wouldn't mind to have them sold.

    Apple has always been good at recognizing that polishing and cleaning up the path of least resistance is worth good money.

  6. dogged
    Trollface

    "paying particular attention to any water damage"

    Can't they just waterproof it with iOS7?

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Re: "paying particular attention to any water damage"

      They could (not with the OS but definitely with the case). But where's the business fun when suddenly you can't reject warranty anymore because there was no water damage?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "paying particular attention to any water damage"

        Suspect a lot of phones did have genuine water damage but that's probably (pretty much) a thing of the past - with the new Applecare Plus it includes accidental damage (up to 2 instances over 2 years) - think subject to about £50 excess.

        That of course assumes you get Applecare in the first place but guess a lot will now that it covers accidental damage as well.

      2. dogged

        @Evil Auditor - *whoosh*

        I notice you missed the joke.....

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

          Re: @Evil Auditor - *whoosh*

          @dogged,

          yes indeed, I missed that. Good one! :-)

  7. James Micallef Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    All that is needed...

    "All fanbois will need to do if they are fed up of their mobe is bring it into an Apple store, where Cupertino's minions will check the condition of its screen and internal hardware, paying particular attention to any water damage"

    Any sort of proof that the "fanboi" in question owns the phone they are turning in, or at least that the phone hasn't been reported stolen??

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: All that is needed...

      To erase the phone you need to enter your Apple ID now.

    2. Frankee Llonnygog

      Re: All that is needed...

      I had to check that Jasper Hamill really wrote "fed up of" and, yes, he did. I think I have his measure now. That's the last story of his that I'll be reading.

  8. Joey

    Oh Jasper

    7 x "fanbois"

    1 x "Jesus Phone"

    but not a mention of "Fruity Firm"

    You are slipping!

    1. Toothpick
      Meh

      Re: Oh Jasper

      and no mention of Foxconn rebrander.

      "allowing fanbois to spend their cash on whatever iTat they fancy"

      iTat - an anagram of the author

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Funny old world

    Its just beyond me as to WHy would anyone exchange an expensive piece of tat ( for a lower value) for another expensive piece of tat (for a higher value) !

    Or is it a case of supreme irony that fanboys are and will remain dumb idiots, in the process minting millions for the big boys !

  10. Atonnis

    Tit-for-tat?

    Or shit-for-shat?

    1. returnmyjedi

      Tat for twat.

  11. Alan Denman

    4 what it is worth

    Apple only pay what they think it is worth.

    What fools will pay is obviously a separate issue.

  12. Neil Gerstenberg

    After reading this I have decided to spend at least a year far away from El Reg.

    The overuse of "Boffins", "Fanbois", "Jesus Phone", "Fondle Slab", and others that I once found vaguely amusing, is becoming ridiculous and annoying.

    When someone (usually under the age of 10) tells the same joke 3 times (let alone 300), they are usually told that "it was funny the first time...".

    That moment has long since passed.

  13. elderlybloke
    Linux

    NO APPLES TODAY

    Believe it or not, there are people like me why survive and indeed prosper without having the shiny gadgets you all seem to find essential.

    I do have a cell plone - which is used for Phone Calls in my Car.

    On those rare occasions that it is needed for an Emergency or Breakdown.

    I do not stare at the screen while walking , so I am not likely to injure myself by hitting obstructions,falling into holes ,or getting hit by Vehicles not noticed .

    Life did proceed quite well and successfully before Cell Phones .

    Most of the time these objects are just great TIME WASTERS.

    PS My local Telcom recently gave me a Samsung S4 Smartphone, for my good behaviour (I think), and I donated it to my Grandson for his 17 birthday.

    He loves those sort of things. I hope he walks carefully and safely.

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