back to article Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

Douglas Adams’ classic 1970s sci-fi satire described the Earth’s population as “so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea”. And here we are again, on the cusp - as in ‘hey, boys, check out my cusp’ or ‘ouch I fell on my cusp’ - of a new outbreak of idiocy that regards digital …

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  1. gaz 7

    I like the elegant retro look of the Sinclair watch. Much better than the japanese addiction for every button to have 15 functions & a label for each one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      LED calculators are much nicer to use too. They just needed a DC adaptor though as they didn't last long on a battery.

      If anything the smartphones of today mimic the problems of LED portables, the screen has to be off all the time and you need to keep prodding the device to see what is on the screen.

      What we need is a hybrid display with a low power always on screen for simple status display and a normal OLED/LCD for the usual display.

      1. DrXym

        The problem with LED watches was the power consumption was horrific so you had to push a button to tell the time and even then the power consumption was still horrific. Batteries might last a month making them a horrible proposition.

        Things turn full circle with smart watches with equally horrific battery lives. At least they're rechargable but hardly convenient to use.

        1. Tom 13

          Re: ...the power consumption was horrific ...

          Maybe the first ones. My experience was quite different. Batteries tended to last at least a year. Granted at that point it was a PITA because I needed a jeweler to change it, but the battery life itself was quite good.

          Of course, now that I almost always have a cell phone on me I've stopped wearing a watch.

      2. MJI Silver badge

        Sounds like the Nokia N8

      3. joeW

        Re: What we need is a hybrid display

        Something like this?

        http://www.digitalversus.com/mobile-phone/mwv-2103-yota-phone-two-faced-russian-smartphone-n28492.html

        1. Frankee Llonnygog

          Re: What we need is a hybrid display

          Maybe more like this:

          http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/09/05/qualcomm_reveals_toq_smartwatch/

      4. Simon Harris

        "LED calculators are much nicer to use too."

        I think the nicest pre-LCD pocket calculator displays were the green ones on Casio calculators (mine was the classic FX39), but these were actually vacuum fluorescent displays rather than LEDs. Much clearer than the tiny red LEDs under bubble magnifiers that TI calculators used at the time.

        VFDs need a relatively high voltage (somewhere in the region of 20-50V) so sometimes you could hear the DC-DC converter whistling.

        1. AdamT

          and if you held them near the ferrite rod at the back of an AM radio you could hear tones? Or am I confusing that with something else?

    2. AndrueC Silver badge
      Joke

      Lol, I hate cheapskate design when it comes to button provision. My bluetooth headset has a single button that does everything except volume and track forward/backward. I swear it has a dozen functions all depending on how often you press it or for how long.

      The manual refers to it as the MFB which I can only assume stands for Mother F*!*ing Button.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sinclair black watch

      There's one on ebay chief. Either may or may not work, currently at 65 quid.

      There may or may not be more, I can't be arsed to do more research.

      I'll not be investing. But I do think it's kind of cool, that may be the sinclair 'geek chic' thing it has going for it. Taken to the extreme, you could strap a zx81 to your wrist...

  2. John Riddoch

    I remember a Mary Whitehouse Experience sketch from the radio lampooning the exam experience which mentioned the cacophony of hourly beeps on the hour...

    The rest of that sketch was hilarious and had me choking quietly in the corner as I was listening on headphones trying not to burst out laughing. It seems to be available on MP3 here, will have to have a download later...

  3. Omgwtfbbqtime
    Happy

    I remember watches

    Pretty much stopped wearing a watch with the advent of the mobile phone - after all even the most basic 90's phone had a clock on the display. Failing that there was always the windows clock or even, dare i say it echo %time%.

    One benefit is the hair on my wrist regrew.

    1. Charles 9

      Re: I remember watches

      That said, there are places where external sources of time are unavailable. Casinos, for example, never show clocks on the floor because they WANT you to lose track of time. That and the big room might mean you lose your signal, so the phone won't help, and laptops would smack of cheating, so when all else fails, it falls back to a cheap quartz wristwatch.

      Also handy for when you're out in the sticks, away from civilization and a cell phone signal. The wristwatch can keep chugging on its own for a couple years on a button battery or two. Don't know about anything else.

      1. bigtimehustler

        Re: I remember watches

        ...because phones stop telling the time when they are out of reach of a signal? Surely just plug it in each night and it will show the time signal or no signal, with a lot of other functions still working too if its a smartphone...

        1. BongoJoe
          Facepalm

          Re: I remember watches

          Precisely.

          And if I am so far away from 'civilisation*' for so long that even the clock on my Kindle packs up then, perhaps, I am where I don't ever need to tell the time and I just need a stick in the ground to tell me what season it is.

          * civilisation being wrongly defined as where one has to lock one car's door at night.because of one's civilised* neighbours.

      2. Irongut

        Re: I remember watches ( Charles 9)

        "the big room might mean you lose your signal, so the phone won't help"

        What piece of shit phone do you own that won't work at all unless it has a signal? Every phone I have ever owned since the late 90s has shown the time whether it could get a signal or not. Some of the earlier ones wouldn't do much without a SIM but these days you can do everything except make calls.

        1. Dave 126

          Re: I remember watches ( Charles 9)

          >What piece of shit phone do you own that won't work at all unless it has a signal?

          I can't answer that. However, I don't like the fact that most Android phones can't wake themselves up for the alarm clock (so if you are low on batteries and have to wake up at certain hour the next morning you have to use Airplane mode and cross your fingers), something all my previous dumb- and feature-phones could do.

    2. Denarius
      Meh

      Re: I remember watches

      yes, the inexorably, miserable backwards march of progress. My ancient analogue watch is self winding, glows a bit in the dark and works 30+ meters under sea surface. Get it serviced every 5 years and it just works. Unlike any mobile phone.

      1. Steve Todd

        Re: I remember watches - @Denarius

        Your point was? I've got a modern digital/analog hybrid that is powered by sunlight, glows in the dark, is waterproof to 100 meters and resets its self from the European radio atomic time base overnight. It's over 5 years old and has never needed servicing.

        People get what they are prepared to pay for, not what technology is able to provide.

        1. monkeyfish

          Re: I remember watches - @Denarius

          Your point was? I've got a modern digital/analog hybrid that is powered by sunlight, glows in the dark, is waterproof to 100 meters and resets its self from the European radio atomic time base overnight. It's over 5 years old and has never needed servicing.

          People get what they are prepared to pay for, not what technology is able to provide.

          Actually that sounds like a fairly cheap casio, whereas a very expensive rolex may only tell the time and nothing else. Price has nothing to do with features.

          1. Nigel 11

            Re: I remember watches - @Denarius

            Depends (broadly) on whether you're talking electronics, or new antiques. Rolexes, and the whole of the expensive "classical" mechanical watch industry, are retailing new antiques.

            The classic watch "user interface" is good, and auto-winding so they never stop (if worn occasionally) is also good. Electronically, you can have the same with a Citizen eco-drive (light-powered), and better timekeeping, and a longer keepalive-time while stored in a dark drawer.

      2. Infernoz Bronze badge
        Meh

        Re: I remember watches

        I looked at Analogue watches, however the low maintenance ones I'd prefer are really not that good compared to well designed Digital watches in the same price range i.e. not the very dated ideas and the decades old design on display in this tragically tired, gadget fashion tarts speel.

        My Casio ProTrek PRW-2000 manages itself even better than an analogue watch, I has an international radio time signal receivers (so you never need to set the time and date), has a solar panel bezel, back light, lots of environmental sensors, can go 100m deep in water or 10bar, has a tough housing (I've bumped mine plenty!), and has no moving parts apart from the buttons, so will probably never need servicing. I bought it a year ago after many years without a watch (or mobile) because my bike speedo ditched itself, so I researched watches (via Fibre Broadband), and deliberately went for functionality and style, in a low profile watch. Oh, and the hour chime can be switched on and off, but I like it on, and all 5 alarms set ;-P

        LED watches use excessive power and are ugly, especially the brain dead unusable binary ones, the cheap LCD ones often look cheap and tacky, with poor readability, and the G-Shock ones are chunky over-kill, often with poor readability too.

        I think the 2005 feature film of Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy, was spot on about mobile phones, they are ridiculous and getting so stupidly large (6" now WTF!) that you really do need a shiny, obese, unstylish 'smart' 'watch', and bluetooth headsets, to make them usable. Oh and you zap your cells with pulsed microwaves, often millimetres away from skin, and even close to genitles and mammaries (cancer); not smart phones at all! If you need a tablet, buy a tablet, not an overkill 'smart' phone.

        I think that hand-held phones will be revealed as the last unimaginatively gasp of the old bone like land line phone design, and that a better device will arise which is less dangerous, and more useful; it would be foolish to speculate what this technology will be. Watches will probably continue to exist, because they do what is required in a time proven form factor.

        1. stu 4

          Re: I remember watches

          yup, you cannae beat a protrek.

          Mine is 10 years old - original battery (solar recharging on a transparent cell ontop of the multi level screen.

          Titanium, bullet proof.

          I use it for flying and walking (alti), diving (just time), compass (flying).

          I have a £3500 titanium breitling too, but I find 9 days out of 10 I chose the casio to wear.

    3. Simon Harris

      Re: I remember watches

      "Failing that there was always the windows clock or even, dare i say it echo %time%."

      Back in my MS-DOS days, my AUTOEXEC.BAT file used to contain the line 'prompt $t $p$g' so I was never more than a carriage-return away from the time.

    4. joeW

      Re: I remember watches

      "even the most basic 90's phone had a clock on the display."

      My first phone was a Siemens C25. The only way to check the time on that little beastie was to send a text message to yourself.

    5. Simon Harris

      Re: I remember watches

      I remember the best thing about my c1980 digital watch was the stopwatch feature...

      and the competitions with school mates about who could press the start-stop button the fastest to get the lowest elapsed time to show.

    6. Steve the Cynic

      Re: I remember watches

      My weird memory of digital watches relates to the digital watch my grandmother had back in the 70s. Sure it was digital, in that it told the time with numbers and not hands, but it had no battery, nor a solar panel.

      No, it was wind-up, and had the numbers written on little discks, like the ones that show the date on an "analogue" watch, and not a single quartz crystal in it.

      "and the competitions with school mates about who could press the start-stop button the fastest to get the lowest elapsed time to show."

      Yes, we did that, too, and the version where you competed to get as close as possible to exactly one second.

      1. stu 4

        Re: I remember watches

        they are called jumphour watches. you get the old ones on ebay (I have one from 1971) and you get reproductions. I still think they look cool.

    7. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: I remember watches @Omgwtfbbqtime

      "Pretty much stopped wearing a watch with the advent of the mobile phone -"

      I'm in the other camp - you will pry my watch from my cold, dead ... errr, wrist. I feel naked without one, and, given the option of the alarm clock, mobile, and watch on the bedside table, if I want to check the time in the middle of the night, it will be the watch I reach for.

      However, I don't see me getting one of these smart-watch thingies. As others have said, I like having something that does a job for many months/years (depending on which watch) without having to worry about the battery going flat at an inconvenient time.

      1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

        Re: I remember watches @Omgwtfbbqtime

        Me? I don't take my watch off, even in the bath.

        Only time it comes off is to replace the battery, and so as not to scratch the wife when, um...

        Oh, you know what I mean.

        Not sure which of those two events happens more frequently nowadays!

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I remember watches

      I think I might swap my Seamaster for one....

      If I lose my mind.....

    9. keep-it-calm-or-more

      Re: I remember watches

      I still wear a watch for conditions that don't allow the usage of a touch screen smartphone. Any kind of nature activity that can get your hands dirty-sandy-bloody (e.g. fishing). Flipping the wrist is also quite handy while reeling out a big mofo fish ... and that watch is 100% mechanical, self winding, no batteries needed, ever. Maybe some lubrication in the distant future.

      I think the smart watches are dead on arrival, the generation that is around 20-30 and one of the most eager spenders don't really see a use for it. As said by multiple other comments, smartphones and computers take away the need for a separate clock in a city/office environment.

  4. Steve Todd

    The big thing about digital watches

    was that they were MUCH more accurate than the mechanical devices of the time. You'd be lucky (or rich) if your mechanical watch kept time to better than a minute per day. They were crap to read and quartz analog, when it became available, ousted digital models but they did only need resetting weekly or monthly to stay on time. With modern watches able to keep time to better than 5 seconds/month and able to reset themselves from radio time signals or the Internet people forget about the ritual of listening for the BBC radio time pips to set their watches.

    1. Cliff

      Re: The big thing about digital watches

      I bought a cheapo digital watch once - it strayed by 15 minutes/day.

      The opposite of useful!

      1. Dave 126

        Re: The big thing about digital watches

        >the ritual of listening for the BBC radio time pips to set their watches.

        And that's ANOTHER thing that is wrong with DAB! It's a few seconds out!

        /end shout

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The big thing about digital watches

          "And that's ANOTHER thing that is wrong with DAB! It's a few seconds out!"

          ..better yet, it differs between different receivers, depending on how much they buffer as part of the process...

      2. Steve Todd

        Re: The big thing about digital watches - @Cliff

        I think that says rather more about how cheap the watch was. Even cheap quartz crystals are easily accurate to 50ppm (parts per million), or about 4.5 seconds per day. A Swiss quartz, to be certified as a chronograph, needs to get down to a little over 2 seconds per month.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. artbristol

    Hourly chime

    Although I haven't worn a digital watch for 20 years, I still have the muscle memory for how to switch off the hourly chime on a Casio.

  6. Tom7
    Pint

    Beautiful

    "Nor do I personally feel a desire to be wearing ... a pedometer - a thoroughly pedestrian idea if ever there was one."

    I haven't laughed this much at an article on El Reg for a long time.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Beautiful

      That's nice considering I thought it was the worst gag I've tried for months.

    2. Pirate Dave Silver badge

      Re: Beautiful

      Agreed. With no BOFH today, Alistair's article was a good fill-in with some worthy chuckles.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Beautiful

      and here's the pedometer: http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/pedobear-square-metal-watch

  7. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Whoever invented the hourly chime ought to have been put to death

    You may be a little late: the repeating watch mechanism was claimed by both Barlow and Quare in the late 1600s...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm pretty sure Apple won't release a watch. It was probably a bit of rumour tactics to get Samsung and others to produce such rubbish. It must be fun to be Apple, laughing at the other companies taking the bait.

    1. Charles 9

      Oh? And suppose the smartwatch takes off as a companion to the smartphone, Samsung and the like cash in, and Apple find themselves late to the train? Remember, they're not the "absolutely must have it NOW" that they once were. If they were to release an iWatch AFTER the craze takes off...

      1. Alistair Dabbs

        Not sure that Apple really cares about being first to market with anything. They were very late to join the MP3 player bandwagon, remember.

    2. Ralph B

      This is just a note to myself to revisit this post next week to either offer congratulations or shower abuse.

      1. stratofish
        Joke

        > This is just a note to myself to revisit this post next week to either offer congratulations or shower abuse.

        Is offering shower abuse a service you provide often?

        1. Intractable Potsherd
          Pint

          @stratofish

          You, sir or madam, are an utter bastard! I'm getting odd looks from the wife because of my sudden outburst of laughter, and now I'll have to try and explain it!!

          Have one on me --->

    3. D@v3

      oh, and one more thing

      I'd quite to see a 'one more thing' moment on Tuesdays announcement, for an iWatch, coming in at around $195, 1 week+ battery and works with all iOS7 devices. I can imagine Samsung wouldn't be too happy.

      Not that i'd buy one if they did, i'm quite happy with my Pebble for now

    4. Ralph B

      I'm pretty sure Apple won't release a watch. It was probably a bit of rumour tactics to get Samsung and others to produce such rubbish.

      Congratulations. Right on the money. (That's not you, is it, Jony?)

  9. auburnman
    Happy

    007 watch!

    I had one of those too. Good times, although it did get me a detention when I accidentally set off the 007 them in the middle of English class. The cheap metal on the back did turn my wrist green though. I remember my mum fixing it by painting the back with nail varnish - pink nail varnish. I also seem to recall 'losing' the watch shortly thereafter...

    1. SkippyBing

      Re: 007 watch!

      Me too, although I hate to think how fast I stuffed packets of crisps down my face to be able to send off for it the same day I saw the offer!

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: 007 watch!

      I hate you both! And that Dabbs as well!

      I had to persuade my Mum to go from buying supermarket own brand crisps for school lunch to walkers, or Smiths or whoever it was. Then slowly eat our way through them until there were enough vouchers for both me and my brother. Then when we sent them off with our cash, we got a letter back saying they were out of stock! No James Bond watch for me. If it hadn't been for you 3, there would have been enough left, and I too could have been the proud owner of an Octopussy watch. Sniff, sob, sniff, sob, sniff... [weeps pathetically]

      Think: Is Octopussy Watch a show with Bill Oddie and Kate Humble on the Playboy channel?

    3. Jay 2
      Unhappy

      Re: 007 watch!

      I really wanted a 007 watch, but my parents wouldn't buy me one. Gutted!

  10. Richard Jukes

    erm?

    Am I the only one who cant wait for a basic watch phone that can make and recieve calls? Im fed up of losing my phone and Im fed up of carrying it around in my pocket. I want a watch phone dog damnit!

    1. petur

      Re: erm?

      http://dx.com/p/aoke-812-gsm-watch-phone-w-1-5-resistive-screen-triple-quad-and-single-sim-black-176488

      there you go...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: oke-812-gsm-watch-phone

        hideous ... but maybe you could take the strap off and use it pocketwatch stylee...

  11. magickmark

    H2G2 Movie

    Re the movie lambasting mobile phones, I think what they failed to understand/missed, IMHO, is that the modern smartphone is effectively the Guide as envisioned by the great DNA. In fact from the description he gave in the books it’s even smaller and sleeker than described and probably has more functionality. I remember reading the book in the late 70’s and loving the idea of a Guide, now I have it!!

    Man that Douglas Adams was a hoopy frood!

    1. Ralph B

      Re: H2G2 Movie

      Actually, I think you will find it is the Amazon Kindle with free 3G access that is the modern implementation of The Guide, rather than mobile phones.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Ralph B

          Re: H2G2 Movie @ HolyFreakinGhost

          You're missing a fact: An Amazon Kindle with free 3G has free 3G coverage and will let you access Wikipedia from anywhere (with coverage) for free. I provided a link to a popular online comic strip that explains this in a humorous fashion. Maybe you could take a quick look at it.

  12. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Happy

    Upvote the article

    There are times when I feel I ought to be able to upvote an article itself.

    Thanks for the laugh :)

  13. xperroni

    You were holding it wrong

    I once was the proud owner of a Casio G-Shock. From when my father gave it to me to the day it was robbed (in the middle of the street, under threat of a gun and all) almost ten years later, I never had one complaint to rise against it. Besides the alarm function (without which I doubt I would ever in my life wake up before lunch), both progressive and regressive chronometers were jolly useful. And I don't remember ever getting in any trouble due to the hourly chime, which I very well knew how to turn off, but kept on of my own accord.

    Sorry Alistair, but surely whatever problem you had with the wristwatches of your time was doubtless your own fault. Perhaps you were holding them wrong?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You were holding it wrong

      So after you were robbed, you had complaints against your watch?

      1. xperroni

        Re: You were holding it wrong

        So after you were robbed, you had complaints against your watch?

        Well, it did lack a remote-controlled self-destruct option...

        By the way, why so anonymous?

    2. Tikimon

      Re: You were holding it wrong

      Second that. "Just a watch"? Hardly! Multiple alarms, chronograph functions, countdown timers, BACKLIGHT, no winding. Regular watches had none of that. My favorites had an analog face with a digital display bar across the top or bottom - decently stylish plus the functions. As far as accuracy, any quartz watch had to be adjusted properly, analog or digital.

      Agreed that the hourly chime was a bad idea. I actually FIXED these things for a year, and the daily runs of chimes and alarms from dozens of them were horrifying. A popular Armitron model played "Dixie", which we heard at least 20 times a day. Brrr..

      It's unfair to rip on the early LED watches. That's like damning the Messerschmitt 262 for not being an F-16. The first of anything tends to be too large, clunky and gobble power.

  14. Anonymous John

    Correction

    1970s LED watches were crap. I bought a late 1970s LCD one that I used for about 20 years. Accurate to less than a second a month, but that may just have been luck.

    (Makes mental note to see if it still works.)

  15. Dr_N

    CMOS

    Let's not forget it was digital watches that were the first consumer product to help push CMOS technology.

    And the rest is history.....

  16. Andrew Garrard

    So long as it's a good watch...

    I had, and used, that Casio data bank watch. If the alternative for looking up a phone number was a FiloFax, actually it had merits. Also, I'd been known to use the calculator. I always wanted a Seiko RC watch, but never persuaded my parents to buy me one.

    I've since been through a series of Timex DataLink watches, which could have done with a better interface, but remained a perfectly good digital watch. I occasionally programmed them to do something interesting, like tell me where to go next on a pub crawl and record whether I was ahead or behind schedule compared with previous years. I never got around to converting to more programmable devices but worse watches, like the Fossil Palm watch or the Ruputer.

    I do have (and am currently charging, for amusement value) an OLED watch that plays "MP4" video. It's awful - you have to press a button to get it to tell the time, it runs down in a day, it's huge, plastic, and fogs up if you get sweaty. It also came with the wrong driver CD (unless there's a Motorola modem in there as well). However, for its intended purpose - winding up a colleague on a circuit board design team who was complaining about fitting things into a phone-sized form factor - it worked perfectly.

    For the last year or so I've been wearing a non-programmable watch, costing me about £10 from Argos. It had a horrible user interface - most notably going into "tell me what angle the sun is" mode whenever I bent my left wrist and accidentally pressed a button, which could only be reverted from by pressing a specific one of the other five buttons, so it was rarely actually telling the time - and I'd have fixed that if I'd had a programmable option.

    As of a week ago (because of the waiting list), what's on my wrist is a Pebble. It's a vastly better watch than the previous thing, and much easier to program than the Timex (no more 6809 assembler). I'd prefer not to have to charge it every few days, but at least it tells the time faultlessly and doesn't need charging more frequently than I'm asleep. I've no intention of using it for phone notifications, but there are some cases for which having something programmable on the wrist is more useful than fishing in your pocket.

    Would a Google Glass (or your choice of similar wearable headset) be even better for always-on access? Possibly, but a watch is a lot less intrusive, and everyone seems too concerned about Glass wearers looking stupid for that to be an option. Supposedly women, especially, are now carting around two phones, one dainty and pocket sized and one with a huge screen for web surfing (men may do this as well, but those with flabby thighs like mine have less problem fitting a large phone in a pocket). So, for now, watches are as good as any option for some scenarios. Esoteric ones, maybe, but don't make life harder for those of us who want to make life easier for ourselves. Otherwise we'll have to resort to Glass, and you will be assimilated.

  17. Tim 11

    nothing wrong with digital watches

    Although uptake of the first ever digital watches (and the latest smart watches) was/is doubtless based partly on fashion, I think Dabbs has got it completely arse about face with regards to digital watches in general.

    I have always worn a digital watch, they're cheap, reliable, more accurate than analog, easier to use, and have the option of various features should you choose. The fact that analog watches are the norm nowadays has more to do with fashion than practicality. about the only advantage of analog watches is that you can get a self-winding mechanism and not have to go through the inconvenience of changing the battery once every 5 years.

    1. Captain Hogwash

      Re: nothing wrong with digital watches

      I agree with most of this. However, an advantage of analogue watches is that it is easier to quickly see how much time you have left up to some later time. If I have to meet someone at noon and it's now 11:37, it's much easier to see that I need to leave in about 20 minutes without having to do the subtraction.

    2. rurwin

      Re: nothing wrong with digital watches

      Mine's solar powered. No battery changing, no winding, and fully sealed to 100m.

      1. Dave 126

        Re: nothing wrong with digital watches

        Er, most analogue watches are as accurate as 'digital' watches... the quartz timekeeping mechanism is the same in both types. Most mechanical watches are analogue, but not all analogue watches are mechanical.

        I wear a quartz analogue watch, and find the rotating bezel a far quicker and easier way of noting a set time (ie when my parking ticket expires, or when I put a pie in the oven) than fiddling with my phone's countdown time. The benefit of wearing the watch (always having quick access to time) might be low, but the cost of wearing the watch is also low (it's small, tough, isn't shabby-looking and only requires attention every few years) is even lower.

        Functions, that used to be on my digital watches (chiefly alarms, perpetual calender) I use my phone for, becuase it does them better .

        1. Intractable Potsherd

          Re: nothing wrong with digital watches

          Interesting comments re: accuracy. I have a cheap quartz digital, and a more expensive quartz analogue with digital extras, such as a second time display. The cheap digital keeps very good (<1 second per month) time. The analogue drifts by 5-6 seconds per month on the fingers, and 3-4 seconds on the digital display.

  18. SirDigalot

    I gave up

    On digital watches, I used to have one of the temperature world time things was supposedly water proof to 100 meters had a countdown, stopwatch, 5 alarms ( I mean who really needs 5 alarms!) not that the alarms ever woke me up. the battery lasted maybe a year ( my smartphone should be so lucky *LOL*). They did help me with 24hour time though when I was younger, still my preferred time format

    In the end I bought a nice tag heuer for a start, it fitted on my wrist without looking like a cartoon sundial, secondly the battery lasted 5 years, I needed to set it twice a year ( oh ok and wind the occasional month forward from 30 - the 1st) but to be honest it was perfect, water proof, went with pretty much anything I was wearing, I did not need to charge it or worry the battery was going to die, it was inconspicuous (since no one really cared about people wearing watches) SILENT and allowed me to be on time pretty much all the time.

    I sent it off to be serviced recently ( it being 15 or so years old I thought it was about time)

    haven't seen it since *LOL*

    oh well

    1. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: I gave up

      Yes - the ability to show time in 24 hour format is a key plus of digital watches. That and not having to mess about winding the date forward every couple of months.

  19. Captain Hogwash
    WTF?

    Oh, Mr Dabbs!

    You remember all that and you think it was crap? No nostalgic yearning at all? I recently bought an LCD from Casio's Retro range and a TX8 (see link)

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/LED-Watch-Vintage-Digital-function/dp/B001Q2J07U/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1378468722&sr=8-7&keywords=TX8

    because I remembered how much fun all this stuff was when I was a kid. I'm starting to suspect that you have no soul.

  20. The Man Himself Silver badge

    Casio Jogging watch

    The best watch i ever had as a young 'un was the Casio Jogging watch (c.1981). It looked like a calculator watch (and it was) but it also had a load of functions to help out runners, such as pedometer and more-sophisticated-that-the-norm stopwatch. How I *loved* that watch....

    Nowadays, my main watch is mechanical automatic...waterproof, reliable, glow-in-the dark, even has a separate 24 hour hand to allow viewing of multiple time zones. And the nice thing about it is that it actually increases in value each year, which is something I've never been able to say about any silicon-based watch I've ever owned.

    1. Arthur Jackson

      Re: Casio Jogging watch

      So, It was you you bastard. I remember running marathons in the 80's and some plonkers insisted on having the pace set on his Casio so it BEEPED every stride.

      In one race I was running in a group with a guy having his watch BEEPING every stride and one, at the time well known lady runner asking " are you going to switch that fucking thing off or do you expect us to listen to it all the way round"

  21. WillThisWor

    Orly?

    You have to be kidding?

    Casio watches - cheap, robust, highly accurate (much more so than my current Omega), the battery lasted for years and a back-light so much better than the crappy non-radioactive luminous paint we are stuck with. What's not to like?

    Also good for diving - 200m water resistant is good enough for any recreational diving and the cheapest backup option by far to a second dive computer.

    A 7 quid watch might not be high fashion but the fact they're still making them demonstrates their utility.

    1. Dave 126

      Re: Orly?

      But what happens if someone uses an EMP weapon?!!!

      (I'm joking : D )

    2. Richard Wharram

      Re: Orly?

      I have an F-105, an F-59 and an F-91.

      Total outlay about 20 quid and they all tell the time.

      I have a nice attractive analogue watch as well but I haven't worn it in about 6 years.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How refreshing

    Agree totally. The screen will surely be too small for anything useful. Nothing compares to a mechanical watch in my opinion. a spring, a load of gears and some grease. now that's engineering...

    1. Dave 126

      Re: How refreshing

      Grease? That's the fun thing about engineering very small things - cube and square roots being what they are, friction becomes more of a concern the smaller things get; hence the use of jewels as bearings in mechanical watches.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    casio databank watch

    I had one of those casio databank watches when I was a student in the early 90s. The calculator was handy dividing up restaurant bills to the exact penny (students!). And having storage for phone numbers was genuinely useful - nobody had mobiles back then, the phone meant a payphone 50 yards down the street.

    I presently have a Suunto Observer which I've had over 10 years now. It's a great watch, titanium, waterproof, nice big numbers, good light for night viewing. More than anything, the analogue watches I've had all broke eventually, but solid state stuff goes forever. The battery lasts over a year too.

    As for this Samsung watch, it looks rubbish, and I don't see the point if it just connects to my phone.

  24. Shagbag

    "How right you were to wait!"

    I love that advert's by-line. The use of the exclamation mark is pure gold.

    n1 Alistair. Another enjoyable read that had me smiling all the way through. :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "How right you were to wait!"

      On first glance i read the ad as 'How right you were twat!". Which is a way better slogan.

  25. Alister

    these companies are only doing what we ask: come up with stupid products that the cretinous will buy in their millions on the back of seeing inexplicably popular celebutards wear one.

    Alistair, aren't you a little young to be exhibiting "Grumpy old man" syndrome?

    That said, thanks, great article.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      My original made specific reference to Will.I.Am.

  26. S4qFBxkFFg

    Can you find a nerdier digital watch than this?

    Anyone else have one of these?

    http://whichwatchtoday.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/takara-kronoform-calculator-robot.html

    The benefits of having a dad who often went to Hong Kong for work...

  27. This post has been deleted by its author

  28. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
    Go

    Nicely written Alistair...

    I especially like the way you have managed to keep your own opinion to yourself and presented nicely the pro's and cons of digital watches. The first couple of paragraphs especially should be held up as a model of balanced journalism. So just for you, your Casio FX25GPS-Gyro-Multi-Alarmicon is in the post - I believe it does tell the time as well...

    Now, where is my Electric Monk...

    1. OrsonX
      Stop

      Re: Nicely written Alistair...

      Disagree, as he failed to understand DNA's line about digital watches.

      DNA wasn't saying digital watches are a bad idea (as interpreted by the article author) he was saying that we are currently in the stone age as we thought they were a good idea, when in reality they were a very primitive tech concept, that is, in the future our smart watches would be infinitely better (e.g., IMB's terminal). DNA wasn't saying he thought digital watches per se were a bad idea.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why not have both?

    My watch has both hands and a digital display, best of both worlds.

    It seems that either I only look at the digital readout or use the minute hand to see where we are within the hour - because after the last GMT/BST change it took me about a fortnight to realise that I'd forgotten to change the hour hand :)

  30. Dr Lecter

    Jealousy lasts a lifetime!

    Ha, its pretty clear to me that Dabbs wasn't allowed a digital watch as a kid, he probably had overbearing parents who made him have an old analogue timepiece that he was secretly ashamed of. What a pity his jealousy has lasted all this time....get over it man.......buy yourself one!!

  31. Fnurp

    I never wear a watch. I did for maybe a few months, decades ago, but I have never much liked the idea of wearing one. It's perhaps a consequence of this is that I have a very good sense of what time it is at any given moment. I'm rarely more than two minutes out, which is sufficiently accurate, given that I always tend to be either early or unbothered about my arrival time.

    One less item to lose, remove, remember, damage or repair.

  32. Ian Michael Gumby
    Meh

    What's the purpose of a watch these days?

    A while back, I was talking to my nephew and he made a point that no one really wears a watch these days. You want to know what time it was, you pulled out your phone....

    And that's true. The phone, when on, gets a clock signal from the telco and will always have the correct regional time and there is of course an app to set up world clocks...

    And when I'm working, I hate the weight of a watch on my arm, so I take it off when doing some serious coding....

    But I love watches. I have one 'beater' watch which is an electric COLT Breitling. (I call it a beater watch because it stands up to my daily abuse.) I have other more expensive watches too. One Manual and two automatics. I'd collect more, except that I'm married and the wife seems to find more ways to spend it... ;-)

    To me, a watch, a real watch with moving pieces is a work of mechanical art. Its also a man's jewelry. A watch says a lot about the character and personality of the person.

    If you want something that is cool and creative... when you can fit an atomic clock and its power source in to a pocket watch sized case, or even a large wristwatch, sign me up. Now that would be cool.

    But I'll stick to my phone in my pocket because I need something I can use as a phone first, PDA second.

  33. Mike Moyle

    Ah... the Casio Data Bank...!

    ...Reminds me of my days working for a (then) Fortune-400 computer manufacturer in the '80s. I had a DB and kept my phone numbers and schedule on it. If you didn't want to risk forgetting/losing your address book/scheduler, the Data Bank was (IMO) the best option available at the time. It could also be great fun, in certain circumstances.

    I was a senior illustrator in the publications department at the aforementioned computer company and spent a fair amount of time attending Project Management Team meetings. (Before I got stuck doing that I felt that I was being paid an obscene amount of money to pursue my hobby; once I got roped into PMT meetings I felt that the amount I was paid was STILL an obscenity, just in the opposite direction... But I digress...)

    The last item on the agenda of any PMT meeting is, of course, the scheduling of the next meeting. The documentation editor (who generally chaired the meetings, since everyone ALREADY hates editors) would study her Day Planner™ book and suggest, e.g., "How about Tuesday the 8th at 10 AM...?" The Writer would look at har Day Planner (denim, with leather corners) "That's fine." The Engineer would look at his Day Planner (larger, and with the leather cover) "Um... Yes, that works." The Marketing Rep would look at HIS Day Planner (the BIG leather one with the zipper around the side to hold in all the post-it notes sticking out from various pages that showed anyone who looked how busy and important he was) "Hmmmmm... No; I've got another meeting, then... Can we make it 11:00?" Everyone confirms 11:00...

    ...and looks over at the Dumb Artist.

    Dumb Artist is so low on the social scale that he doesn't HAVE a Day Planner. He just has a pad of graph paper on which he's been doodling and occasionally scribbling cryptic notes throughout the meeting.

    Dumb Artist looks at his wristwatch. *tap* *tap* "Tuesday at 11...?" *tap* *tap*... *tap* *tap* *tap* "Got it!"

    It was always amusing to see the engineering and marketing reps of a computer company realize that the Dumb Artist was techie-er than they were. (Tackier, too, probably; but that's a whole 'nother issue!)

    Granted that it's not particularly aesthetic-looking but, as a backup for contacts, etc., the Casio Data Bank was (and still is) a useful piece of kit.

  34. ardubbleyu

    Sinclair Black Watch - I had one of those. It was a bit of a babe magnet, as I recall - no such luck since, mind...

  35. Jan 0 Silver badge

    Re: "If it requires you to pull up a huge telescopic aerial, all the better."

    Too right Alistair. This is not the technology we are looking for.

    I don't need a better watch when the one I have works fine. My 'phone/pocket computer works fine without a watchlike extension.

    Perhaps I could be tempted by a wearable nanofactory (with a huge pull out aerial, of course:).

    Actually the hitech gizmo that I'd really heap spondulics on would be autofocusing spectacles. How hard would that be Panasonic/Sony/Apple/Google/etc?

    I'm also still waiting for the micro gas turbine powered alternator so that I can run my <insert gizmo of choice> for days with a squirt of methanol, instead of hours spent tethered to chargers.

  36. Schultz

    You miss the point

    Wearing a device strapped on your arm, whether analog or digital, is not in itself smart or stupid, chic or ugly. It's just a tool and if it turns out to be useful, then we'll appreciate it (and will attach aesthetic value to it as well).

    The problem with smart watches is the interface. If the interface works, they may become useful tools and we'll all want one. To get some useful interface onto a small wristband is hard: any screen will be tiny and there is not much room for buttons. Maybe there will be smart ideas using the camera on the new Samsung watch, at least it should be able to discreetly scan a bar-code in a store and then tell me the corresponding price on Amazon.

  37. zb

    The most annoying thing

    Nobody mentioned the most annoying thing about digtal watches: they are too accurate.

    Ask a someone what the time is and they come back with 3.32 and 15 seconds. Glance at a digital clock and you will see 3:32:15pm This is too much information. All I need to know is "just after 3.30" or "nearly 25 to".

    1. John Bailey

      Re: The most annoying thing

      I think this is what you are looking for.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nppEcSChB9M

    2. Martin
      Headmaster

      Re: The most annoying thing

      "...They are too accurate."

      No. They are too precise. You want a watch to be accurate, so that it shows the time accurately, without drift. But you don't need it to display the time precisely.

  38. Bill Fresher

    What's with all the f-ing swearing in the f-ing sh-ty article?

  39. Daedalus

    Put one on each wrist and go jogging

    In 1978 or so HP announced a gold calculator wristwatch. It had a keyboard that required a fiddly gold stylus, which conveniently stored in a groove in the case.

    The whole assemblage cost the obligatory bras et jambe, and weighed 8 oz. (grams hadn't been invented yet).

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Useless for anyone over 60s, "excuse me while I struggle for my glasses while I check my emails, texts etc."

  41. Magnus1975

    Digital watches has evolved a lot. I have a Suunto Core watch and it is a far cry from the digital watches from earlier decades.

    If they are not letting the battery life or the thoughness suffer I sure can see a market for smartwatches - and they bettter be waterproof!

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