I'm taking a leaf out of Jay Blahnik's Book
If you spout enough shit to end users they will believe you #thisstopsmekillingpeople
Apple has hired a healthy living guru who helped Nike develop the FuelBand fitness bracelet to work on a mystery project for the fruity firm. Jay Blahnik started work at Cupertino earlier this month, according to reports from unofficial Apple blog 9to5Mac. He is likely to have been hired to work on the near-mythical iWatch, …
But to be fair most of us irked European's, and probably pretty much all The Register reporting staff, sit on our fat arses and have about as much enterprise as ex-soviet school-teachers. This is the News website which says no to news at the weekend ("not in my Job description Guv") and has developed the least of all the news sites on the Interwebs.
Ok, You asked for it....
I don't give a rats ass about it.
That good enough for you?
Well, here's the reason for my statement.
I don't wear a watch. I haven't done for more than 30 years. I was given a very expensive watch by my father when I graduated University. It worked for three weeks and then stopped. After being repaired three times and it 'just stopped' again, I gave up wearing a watch for good. Because of that it does not matter to me one jot if Apple or anyone else starts selling a watch. I would not be buying one no matter who it is.
There. Isn't that a better and more rational comment that your's?
Nah probably not given the amount of down voting that I'm going to get for even pretentding to have a good argument/reason.
Idiot Tax is Jasper's personal funnyism; he spends his evenings sitting on his mum's sofa thinking of ways to get it into articles. I've even taken him to task on it before, saying it made him sound like a petulant 12 year old. (http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/1803762).
Expected to be downvoted to hell and back; to my surprise the upvotes and downvotes were identical; which restored my faith in the Reg readership, if not in Mr. Hamill himself.
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The first ipod *was* a flop. It was only when they added Windows support in later generations it became more popular. Don't make the common fallacy of conflating a single product (which was what "ipod", "iphone" etc originally referred to, and what critics would therefore be talking about).
Most the time though, "success" or "flop" is simply how the media spin the figures - one million in 76 days was hailed a runaway success for the 2007 iphone (and the Nokia 5230's 150 million sales gets ignored), whilst the Surface or the first Lumia sells millions and gets labelled a flop.
I suspect, like most of the products of Apple, MS and other companies, it'll neither be a flop or runaway success, but get normal sales comparable to products by multinationals.
"... the near-mythical iWatch, which Apple are hoping will rescue the firm..."
Near mythical because Apple (as usual) haven't commented one way or another: so this piece of incisive, riveting journalism is little more than a mishmash of internet rumours and speculation but presented as if it were an undeniable fact.
Let's wait until the fat lady sings...
"He is likely to have been hired to work on the near-mythical iWatch, which Apple are hoping will rescue the firm ..."
If the watch is just a rumour, what makes you think Apple are pinning any hopes on it?
If it isn't, the hopes Apple are pinning on it won't be that a few self-important bloggers change their tune, but that millions of people buy it. Just like they buy everything else Apple makes.
If you think Apple put an aura of innovativeness before profits, you must be confusing them with Pebble
Because that is SOP for many responders here. The Diss Apple no matter what the news is or even if the subject does not even mention Apple.
Cue
Your'e holding it wrong etc.
Anyone daring to complain at this SOP gets a lot of stick as I am only far too aware.
Still, 'sticks and stones' etc. I shall carry on trying to bring a modicum of reasonableness but I fear that the 'hordes' will send me the way of Eadon.
I am not too sure what kind of format an IWatch is going to take but if it has telephony capabilities it will have similar image problems to Google Glass. Talking to the air makes you look like a Glasshole, talking to your wrist gives the impression that you are either some kind of spook with a wire and an ear bud or your wrist is a substitute for a girlfriend.
As for the quotes from Mr BLAHnik, I think his name is the giveaway. Messages like his are encouragement .... to drive my car over him!