back to article BRUCE WILLIS (ad) DIES HARD (in Sky broadband telly fib ban)

Hollywood action hero Bruce Willis has been sensationally banned from appearing on the UK's small screen ... in misleading ads touting Sky broadband. Blighty's advertising watchdog, the Advertising Standards Authority, ruled the telco's telly adverts featuring the Die Hard star were somewhat economical with the truth. One …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    El Reg journo or PR agent for Bruce Willis? Sounds like someone's been ...

    Moonlighting :-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: El Reg journo or PR agent for Bruce Willis? Sounds like someone's been ...

      you beat me to it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: El Reg journo or PR agent for Bruce Willis? Sounds like someone's been ...

        Bruce Willis mooning the ASA? I'm sure there are people who would pay good money to see that. In fact it has about as much plot line as most blockbusters already...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    what's he moonlighting for BSkyB for?

    I'll get my coat.

  3. xyz Silver badge

    I wondered why the ads had changed

    and were using that random pensioner instead of BW.. I'm still trying to work out why the girl (best facial expression on telly ever) goes off with him. Weird. Are they saying that if you complain about speed, you get a member of female staff to play with? Brings a whole new meaning to the word "Buffering"

    1. Captain Underpants
      Joke

      Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

      @xyz: Heh, those ads also introduced a new (and much more welcome) definition to the term "unlimited" as defined by ISPs :D

    2. Shades

      Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

      best facial expression on telly ever

      If you're on about the bit at the end, when the young lady* turns around while she's walking out with Brucie, then that bit always makes me laugh. I happen to think that she's quite pleasing to the eye, so if she said to me, as she does Brucie "...It's totally unlimited, as am I", then I'd be telling her to come on too!

      *Jessica Ransom, just in case any of you were interested! :D

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

        but why does she say that, in such a provocative manner, to an aging pensioner who's best movies are far behind him, who consistently seems to piss off everyone in the movie industry, refuses to positively promote his latest movie and instead makes fun of the interviewer. god knows what Sky were paying him - Stalone was going to pay him 3 million dollars for 4 days of work on the next Expendibles movie, and he insisted on getting 4 million instead, so now he's been canned and they're getting Harrison Ford instead.

        don't get me wrong - the first 3 Die Hard movies were great. Last Man Standing is fantastic. Hudson Hawk! brilliant! but it's long past the time when Willis should have shuffled off to a retirement beach and out of the public eye

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

          > to an aging pensioner

          You missed "rich" in that phrase...

        2. This post has been deleted by its author

        3. Shades
          Facepalm

          Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

          "but why does she say that, in such a provocative manner, to an aging pensioner"

          Ageing pensioner? He's only 58. Say that around my mother, who's just a couple of years young than Walter, and you'll get swift kick in the gentleman sausage! Its no great mystery that some young women find older men sexually attractive (hence the looks on her face throughout the entire ad and the provocative line), especially ones that are famous, loaded and, in Walters case for his age, still has a rugged good look about him... Plus he's John McLain! Hell, I've had my fair share of younger attractive women and I look like I've been chasing parked buses!

          1. MJI Silver badge

            Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

            I liked him in Fifth Element and Unbreakable.

            And 58 is not old.

            I am only 50 but feel like a lot of years younger.

            1. James Micallef Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Fifth Element

              Somewhat inexplicably, one of my favourite films. Way over-the-top in terms of suspension of disbelief, but the whole film works because it doesn't take itself too seriously. See also True Lies and The long kiss goodnight

              1. Richard Taylor 2
                Thumb Down

                Re: Fifth Element

                True lies had its moments - unfortunately too may of them unpleasantly misogynist, Harrier scenes terrifically amusing, JLK being effectively tortured by her husband not so much......

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: "I liked him in Fifth Element and Unbreakable"

              I had no idea Al Pacino was in those films!

          2. Amorous Cowherder
            Thumb Up

            Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

            "I look like I've been chasing parked buses"!

            Brilliant phrase!

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I wondered why the ads had changed

            Younger Women do find older men attractive, so long as you don't have Moobs, a beer belly and a fat ar*se, wear white Y-fronts and sport a mullet centred around a bald patch.

  4. That Steve Guy

    Too late.

    yet another advert banned from use after its run has finished too late.

    Businesses like this need fines

    1. Annihilator
      Boffin

      Re: Too late.

      Better yet, they should be forced to actually sell their product at the price the ASA interpreted it to be for a fixed period (say 2 months) from the last broadcast of the advert. A fine doesn't help customers, if anything it penalises the existing customers. Sky would pass the costs of the fine onto the customers in the end, or under-invest in the product to the same tune.

  5. Paul Westerman
    Coat

    Oh dear

    That'll get the mercury rising at Sky

  6. AstroNutter

    Typical adverts.

    so what you are saying is that the ASA caught BSkyB (Hudson) Hawking it's wares.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    And another one

    Was that money-fumbling, or (12) monkey-fumbling?

    I thank you.

  8. wowfood
    Coat

    I bet sky are

    Red in the face about this

    1. diodesign Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: I bet sky are

      Ha. Good one.

      C.

  9. Erix

    I'd day

    the ASA went the whole nine yards on this one

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'd day

      So are they now saying Bruce Willis is Expendables?

  10. Mr_Pitiful

    I haven't seen the ad

    Can someone post a link please?

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: I haven't seen the ad

      Can someone post a link please?

      Please tell me you just forgot the joke icon?

      1. Mr_Pitiful
        Happy

        Re: I haven't seen the ad

        I don't have TV here!!

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: I haven't seen the ad

          Lol! I think I saw a few frames of it once while zipping past the adverts but I think I got away with it.

  11. Shades
    Joke

    Die Casual?

    On the plus side this sounds like it could be the plot of a new film for Brucie.

    Retired police office McLain doesn't take too kindly to the ASA banning his advert so they, fearing the worst, hole up in the upper floors of their building. An hour or so later McLain, after establishing phone contact with a friendly black policeman, storms the building, killing everyone who decided his advert should be banned in an orgy of anti-ad banning violence. All while in his dressing gown.

    And it would still be better than the last Die Hard film!

  12. Super Meerkat
    FAIL

    This will stop Sky Loopers from um...ah looping?

  13. Haku
    Coat

    They switched the actor instead of getting him to shoot a new ad?

    What a Cop-Out...

  14. Tom 11
    Coat

    What a Cop Out!

    Alas, in the cold light of day it seems that old Brucey is just palying Surrogate to the BskyB Bandits. Maybe it was a Setup all along? after all, i always took him for No Body's Fool.

    I hope this leaves him Red in the face.

  15. The Axe
    WTF?

    Another crap decision by the ASA based on a single person who doesn't understand how adverts work.

  16. Matt_payne666

    that advert is no better or worse than all the other broadband adverts for hiding the real terms in the small print... when was the last time BT, Virgin, TalkTalk, etc mentioned that you NEED their phone rental at £xx per month - in the body of the advert? its always in the text at the bottom of the screen

    1. Shades

      "when was the last time BT, Virgin, TalkTalk, etc mentioned that you NEED their phone rental at £xx per month - in the body of the advert?"

      Need? Virgin would probably argue that they don't need to include line rental costs in the body of the advert as they generally only advertise their cable services on TV, which doesn't need a rented line and thus doesn't incur the additional cost. But don't let facts get in the way of a good rant! ;)

  17. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

    Whats new?

    Theres a nice BT sport advert plastered on a wall on my way to work

    "Watch BT sport free"....

    then in small print it says "if you have BT broadband and line rental costing 21 quid a month"

    How about the ASA saying to the broadband companies

    "Listen up you lot, list the full price charged to the customer to obtain said package in the same size font you use for the headlines in your ads, failure to do so will result in a 1.5 million pound fine per advert"

    But my therapist says I'm quite deluded sometimes......

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Whats new?

      "Watch BT sport free"....

      then in small print it says "if you have BT broadband and line rental costing 21 quid a month"

      I'm surprised. I would have expected more like "line rental costing 7quid a month". And in even smaller print "For three months, 21 quid thereafter", and, even smaller still, "Discounted line rental does not apply to existing customers".

    2. Mr Young
      Happy

      Re: Whats new?

      Indeed - I could be wrong but I understand the line rental always goes back to BT whoever you give the payment to? Since it's their line fair enough. The next question I pondered was 'is my line rental somehow subsidizing a fecking tv sport channel in some way?' . Not acceptable - in fact I think the BBC news (for what it's worth) should be sport free as well!

      Yours deluded etc

  18. Furbian

    Mega groan....

    This was just a pun too far..."The watchdog, now in its (fifth) element"...

  19. Mitoo Bobsworth
    Facepalm

    It's Sky -

    What did you expect?

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