I don't know where they're getting their condoms
But $2.99 seems a bit of a high "cost per lay".
eBay is your friend!
Spreadsheets are pretty much the unsexiest invention since the chastity belt, but one app developer is hoping the idea of analysing their own performance in the bedroom will appeal to a generation of selfie-taking fanbois. A new bit of software called Spreadsheets is now on sale in Apple's app store, an online space that's …
Obligatory "decibel peak"
More like decibel peakS I would hope. Also, the dB level varies wildly from person to person and with the mood, hardly an objective measurement.
Also-also 40 min gets you a shiny? Pah! The yoof nowadays. Perhaps that's why they make anesthesing rubbers. After having made ultra-thin, ribbed etc ones for "better sensations"... go figure.
Good thing it's Friday, too*.
*due to my current physical location, it kinda is
Also, the dB level varies wildly from person to person and with the mood, hardly an objective measurement.
No, it is an objective measurement. The problem I think you are expressing is that an objective measurement is probably not useful in a situation in which the subjective experience is more pertinent.
There was some survey that made the news a couple years ago that said iPhone owners had twice as much sex or twice as many partners or something like that than owners of other phones.
That may no longer be true, since Android has reached such penetration (sorry about that) that it approximates the average of the general public. Well, minus our grandparents, few of whom have either smartphones or sex.
So hammering away like a fiddlers elbow for 40 minutes while shouting at the top of your voice is rated as the best sex? I'm not sure I'd fully buy into that as a good rating system and it makes me wonder if any real product testing or indeed any 'expert' knowledge was involved in its development.
I'd be looking at something based on the partners heart rate. Heart rate monitors can be quite cheap and unobtrusive these days and surely the duration of elevated rate and the peak rate achieved would give a better indication of 'quality'. There would obviously have to be an extensive period of product testing before being released to the public.
Hmm. might take that on Dragons Den.
How will it know those are screams of passion and not screams of terror and pain coming from the hitchhiker in the basement? A good hobo strangling generates a lot of the same (to an accelerometer) motion as a good round of sex. This whole thing could be highly embarrassing if the app can't tell the difference.
I went to the zoo with my wife and son; the elephants we saw could have used this app.
God that takes me back, I used to have a mad girl friend that used to love to ride while watching East Enders. I never realised that it was supposed to be a contraceptive but it was enough to put me put a guy sufficiently off his stride that impregnation was unlikely to happen.