ever taken your child to casualty?
I walk into casualty one evening with 6 year-old daughter holding teatowel over one eye and screaming...
me : hi, can someone have a look at my kid's eye? she's screaming and it's bleeding
Large Woman: name?
me : <child's name>
LW : date of birth?
me : <blank look, phones wife, relays information>
LW : can you confirm your name and address? <she already has it on screen>
me : <confirms name and address>
LW : what school does your child go to?
child : waaaaa!
me : why do you need to know?
LW : <waves hand enigmatically at computer screen>
me : believe it or not I didn't come here to take part in a survey.
LW : <takes offence>
LW : what's your phone number?
me : <getting irked now, there's no way I want to start a telephone relationship with this woman> don't have it to hand
LW : are you still registered with Dr. Whatsisname?
child : waaaaa! daddy my eye hurts!
me : look, I've really no idea, any chance of seeing the nurse?
LW : <harumphs> go on through then...
Once past the gatekeeper, the medical staff were brilliant.