back to article Sammy had Sweet Fanny Adams to do with Swiss Fanny madam's blast

Last week's thigh-roasting "Samsung" smartphone battery has turned out not to be from Samsung at all - proving yet again the hazardous nature of cheap knockoff batts. When 18-year-old Fanny Schlatter's pocket went off like a firecracker the finger was quickly pointed at the battery in her Sammy Galaxy S3. But an investigation …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Andrew Moore

    So...

    instead of the nice payout she was expecting, she's now the poster child for "don't buy counterfeit goods". Along with the electric chinese gentleman.

    1. Tom 7

      Re: So...

      However the previous article suggests she will have time to sue not that she had any intentions of suing.

      So I don’t know if she was expecting a payout.

    2. Yag

      Re: So...

      If only... It's probably not a "counterfeit" battery, but just a cheap 100% legal one.

      It might even be the same manufacturer as for the 787's infamous ones.

      1. Tom 38
        FAIL

        Re: So...

        100% legal battery not made by Samsung with a Samsung logo on it? Might want to re-check your definition of counterfeit.

        1. Peter Simpson 1
          Mushroom

          Re: So...

          She may not even have known it was counterfeit. When I was buying a replacement battery for my Nokia, the warnings were not to check that it had a hologram sticker, but to actually check the hologram did the correct thing (right number of fingers on the hands, and that sort of thing)

          Apparently, the fake holograms are now almost as good as the real thing and very hard to spot.

          // too cheap to believe isn't reliable either -- selling off old stock at a discount as a new phone comes out, etc.

          1. kain preacher

            Re: So...

            I have two samsung phones. Nether have a hologram on the battery.

        2. Yag
          Facepalm

          "100% legal battery not made by Samsung with a Samsung logo on it?"

          Erm.... My bad.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So...

      "..the electric chinese gentleman.."

      Is that a euphemism?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So...

      我的灌木丛着火 as the Chinese would say.

      1. stephajn
        Thumb Up

        Re: So...

        I just had to look that up on Google Translate.

        Cracked me up. Up vote for you AC!!!

      2. plrndl
        Joke

        Re: So... @AC 20.09

        Is that anything like "ah so" in English?

    5. Annihilator
      Coat

      Re: So...

      instead of the nice payout she was expecting, she's now the poster child for "don't buy counterfeit goods"

      "You wouldn't download a battery..."

      Or something.

    6. fajensen

      Re: So...

      The accident insurance will pay.

    7. N13L5
      FAIL

      you wouldn't believe how hard it can be to get an original battery!

      I was trying to buy a replacement for my wife's Motorola phone: I skipped ebay, expecting a high chance of counterfeit batteries and went to Amazon instead. (my worry was merely about poor performance, I hadn't really thought of explosions at the time ><)

      I searched "MB525 original battery"

      A load of adverts claiming to be original batteries popped up, strangely containing widely varying customer reviews. After quickly checking the overall ratio of 1 or 2 star reviews, I started reading, and a pretty high amount of reviews stated that there were indicators that the battery they received wasn't really original Motorola. Some of them were simply not recognized by their phones, refusing operation entirely.

      I picked one of those sellers and sent an inquiry, if they could guarantee that the battery was not counterfeit... I haven't received a response yet, and I still don't have a battery ><

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ooops.

    And no doubt voids any insurance she may of had on it as well.

    1. DAN*tastik
      Megaphone

      Re: ooops.

      MAY *HAVE* HAD!

      1. Steve Renouf
        Headmaster

        Re: ooops.

        Wasting your time these days - they don't seem to teach properly grammaratical stuff these days!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and buy from those nasty national and multi-national suppliers, as they are more likely to have direct supply deals with Samsung, Canon, Sony etc. and not be buying from Dodgy Dave's Discount Importers on the local trading estate.

    Big retail chains are an easy target for trading standards and, in theory anyway, should be ensuring that Samsung batteries are from Samsung.

    No guarantees of course, but if you buy a "genuine" replacement battery, and it turns out not to be, you can at least resort to taking the shop to court, if not the manufacturer. Chances of tracking down a Sunday market stall holder or car booter are a lot slimmer than a bricks-and-mortar retailer.

    1. Steven Raith

      This. I had the option of getting a 'pattern' replacement battery for my Macbook, but as the official Apple unit was only some £30 more I went with it. I'd rather spend £30 extra now than spend £500 replacing the fecking laptop.

      Steven R

      1. b166er

        How fortunate for you that you have one of the few Apple products that you can change the battery in.

        1. Steven Raith
          Trollface

          Yes yes, come back when you have something constructive to say.

          Ironically, I use ebay specials in my Canon 40D with £800 of glass on it.

          I should probably do something about that...

          1. Rampant Spaniel

            Thats a valid argument on an out of warranty camera but if you've paid 3k just for the warranty on your camera why invalidate it to save 50 bucks on a battery.

            Personally I use oem batteries in my canon and phaseone gear, not because they're more reliable but because if theres an issue I don't want them to be able weasel out of the warranties. Does it cost a few hundred bucks extra, sure, but it doesn't cost 40k to replace a back or 6k for a dslr body.

            1. monkeyfish

              I found an Energizer replacement battery for our work digital camera. Camera not really worth the £40 Olympus wanted, Energizer replacement £10 instead of £5 for dodgy no-name. So well worth a punt.

              1. Rampant Spaniel

                Definitely , it's a decision that has to be made on a case by case basis. I found amazon a good place for non oem batteries, ones with 1000+ 5* ratings and an average 4.5 rating is usually a fair bet. I have some for a pm1 for underwater stuff. It was only 500 bucks with a housing so it gets 10 dollar batteries. If it dies its only 100 bucks for another one used.

  4. wowfood

    On the one hand

    I feel very sorry for her. I mean not only did she take a critical hit to the leg from an IED (read fake battery) but now she's not getting any payout from it. Unless of course she sues the person she bought it from.

    On the other hand, you get what you paid for. I'm just glad the fake PSP battery I bought decided to die by not charging, rather than blowing up.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You pays yer money, and roll the dice for 3rd party replacement parts. Same goes for chargers.

    I bought one off a well-know internet-based auction website which was branded 'Samsung' and boy did it get hot, I could smell superheated plastic. Since it was a penny less than a fiver I just stuck it in the electrical recycling bin at the local tip after snipping the cable in two. I shall have to pay over the odds for a 'real' charger but at least it won't set fire to the carpet.

  6. Fihart

    Problem is the cost of originals.........

    .......and trying to find them among the morass of fakes on the leading e-tail sites.

    In part I blame the original manufacturers for their premium prices and failing to police their brand identity against the fakers.

    1. RainForestGuppy

      Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

      Perhaps the cost of the original equipment is because they are safety tested, rated and use quality components.

      If it looks to good to be true, it usually is.

      1. Fihart

        Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

        An issue related to cost and originality is the vast range of different battery shapes deployed, I suspect to maintain a grip on the replacement market.

        I've just been overhauling 4 laptops of 4 different brands --all are similar in shape and size, 3 have a strong family resemblance -- suggesting that they have come from the same factory in China. All use PSUs of 19.5 volts. The batteries are all about the same size.

        But each is shaped differently.

        Camera and mobile phone batteries, similar picture -- in fact some brands chip their batteries and design the camera to reject batteries lacking the chip.

        I believe the EU has belatedly introduced rules to reduce the waste associated with pointlessly different phone chargers. Time we told the largely US, Japanese and Chinese manufacturers that if they want to sell in the EU, batteries should be more interchangeable between models and brands.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

      Agree.

      On a certain website (name no names but rhymes with "Atherton") there were ridiculously cheap USB adaptors for the Samsung Tab. Thinking these to be beyond doubt of questionable value, I then fund s oem with a nice picture of the real deal and the words "Genuine" in the title and description. Fortunately reviews of said product made it quite clear these were not what they claimed to be but just a different knock-off from China.

      Would bringing the misdirection of the seller to the websites operators have an effect - I didn't think it would.

      1. Peter Simpson 1

        Re: Problem is the cost of originals.........

        Re; "Atherton" "Would bringing the misdirection of the seller to the websites operators have an effect - I didn't think it would."

        And you are correct in that -- "Atherton" increasingly seem to be relying on outside suppliers and they do not really care about those independent suppliers' business practices. 30 day limit on defective returns, etc. I received a product that was considerably different from the image shown on their website (not in original mfr's package, but was shown as such in the image). "Atherton" showed a complete lack of concern when I pointed it out to them, vendor merely offered a refund.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Doesn't matter...

    There is always someone you can sue... batteries shouldn't explode you know...

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Doesn't matter...

      The fun thing about the real world is that it doesn't care about a "shouldn't".

  8. AbelSoul

    Headline excellence...

    ... once again:

    > "... SWEET FANNY ADAMS TO DO WITH SWISS FANNY MADAM'S... "

    Outstanding!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Unhappy

      Re: Headline excellence...

      "Outstanding!"

      Or maybe not. I can't see the few female readers of the Reg being amused. Even I don't find it funny, and I'm a sexist old dinosaur in so many ways, and an appreciative reader of Viz.

      And then they wonder why so few women go into tech. Wouldn't be the whiff of misogyny and flatulence that lingers over IT, would it?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Headline excellence...

        OK - what part was sexist? The madam?

        Or did you just not understand it and were having a bad day?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Down

          Re: Headline excellence...

          "OK - what part was sexist? The madam?"

          You pathetic knob. If you really can't see why women might take offence, then I'm not going to explain it to you. Care to repost under your normal pseud, so we can bear it in mind in future?

          1. diodesign Silver badge

            Re: Ledswinger

            FWIW I would never write a misogynistic headline.

            "If you really can't see why women might take offence, then I'm not going to explain it to you."

            My girlfriend didn't see anything wrong with it when I showed her after work. I recommend reading Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman". Essential reading for feminists, male and female.

            C.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              FAIL

              Re: Ledswinger

              "My girlfriend didn't see anything wrong with it when I showed her after work. I recommend reading Caitlin Moran's "How to be a woman". Essential reading for feminists,"

              Thank you for the patronising advice. Re-reading my post, do you think I was claiming any moral high ground?

              But regardless of what your girlfriend might think, I know my wife and female colleagues would be offended. You certainly can't please all the people all of the time, and a perusal of my output will show that I'm not above some gutter language but this came across as gratuitous and sexist.

              An interesting challenge for you: The lady in question is quite pleasant looking. Would the headlines have been the same if she'd looked like Mo Mowlem?

              1. David Neil

                Re: Ledswinger

                Her name is Fanny, the headline is a play on her name, which 'titter' also happens to be a slang term for a front/back lady parts depending on which side of the Atlantic you are on.

                Perhaps you should stop being offended on other peoples behalf you try hard dullard

                1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

                  Re: Madam

                  Also, "madam" in Europe doesn't mean what apparently it tends to in the United States. In this context it might imply a young woman who puts on airs, or whose complaint doesn't deserve to be taken as seriously as she expects. But that is rather unfair if indeed she had a reasonable belief that she was using genuine Samsung hardware, because it said so.

                  In America, of course, "madam" means that you run a brothel.

              2. diodesign Silver badge

                Re: Ledswinger

                "Would the headlines have been the same if she'd looked like Mo Mowlem?"

                Er, yes. You guys are reading into madam way too much.

                C.

              3. diodesign Silver badge

                Re: Ledswinger

                PS...

                "Thank you for the patronising advice"

                Says the guy calling someone else a "pathetic knob". Give over.

                C.

                1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
                  Paris Hilton

                  Re: Ledswinger

                  Hold on, diodesign.

                  1) Shouldn't you have a Vulture Gong instead of the Gold Gong meant for the Hoi Polloi?

                  2) Aren't you the moderatrix of yesteryear?

                  1. M Gale

                    Re: Ledswinger

                    1) That's a bronze gong.

                    2) Cooo, inturresting theory.

                  2. Jamie Jones Silver badge

                    Re: Ledswinger

                    Hmmm. Is it "Dio Design" or "Diode Sign"?

              4. Alex Rose
                FAIL

                Re: Ledswinger

                "But regardless of what your girlfriend might think, I know my wife and female colleagues would be offended."

                Well then perhaps your wife and your female colleagues should get their minds out of the gutter?

                "Sweet fanny adams" to imply that there is no connection between one thing and the other, the pun here being that the lady's name is "Fanny"

                "swiss fanny madam's" repeating her name and choosing madam (because, you know, she's a WOMAN and madam can be a form of address for a WOMAN) to create a rhyme, prefixed with "swiss" to help the cadence of the sentence.

                If you have to twist that round into some sort of sexual overtones can I respectfully suggest that you take yourself of for some therapy you 21st Century Mary Whitehouse twit.

            2. Rampant Spaniel

              Re: Ledswinger

              In all fairness el reg is an equal oppertunities piss taker. Anybody and anything is fair game. It isn't so much an issue of sexism so much as tone and the tone should not be news to anyone familiar with this site. At least that is how I see it, I respect you feel differently.

          2. Fred M

            Re: Headline excellence...

            "If you really can't see why .... then I'm not going to explain it to you."

            @Ledswinger If anyone had any doubts that you were a genuine female Reg reader (rather than just a guy trolling) then you squashed that right there.

      2. Steven Roper

        @Ledswinger

        You are Adria Richards and I claim my £5.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

        2. Intractable Potsherd

          Re: @Ledswinger @ Steven Roper

          "You are Adria Richards and I claim my £5."

          Nice one, Steven! I had to check my wife hadn't turned into Ms Richards the other day when she went into a rant about a meeting where people had found the word "dongle" to be funny ...

          I'm sure the decades from the 1979s onwards are going to be regarded as a later version of the miserabilism of Cromwell's time ... :-(

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Headline excellence...

        "Or maybe not. I can't see the few female readers of the Reg being amused"

        Tough. Go and read Take-A-Break if the dishwasher doesn't need filling...

  9. Mystic Megabyte

    CE? not

    I bought some red LED fairy lights for my submarine dungeon house from Hong Kong via eBay.

    After five minutes the clear heat shrink on each LED had gone black and was too hot to touch.

    I cut them up and binned them.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: CE? not

      CE = "China Export"

      The feel when you realize you may have thrown away a working cold fusion device!

    2. TheVogon
      Mushroom

      Re: CE? not

      "After five minutes the clear heat shrink on each LED had gone black and was too hot to touch."

      That's generally what happens when you plug 110V fairy lights into 240V AC....

  10. Tom 11

    Bill Ray, you are wasted

    With titular tongue-twisting talents such as those paraded here, you quite clearly need a job writing headlines for the sun! love it :)

    1. Bill Ray (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Bill Ray, you are wasted

      That's very kind but I'm afraid I can't take the credit. Most of our headlines (and all of mine) are written by a specially-trained team of sub editors toiling in a basement without light, water or (in some cases) connectivity.

      I'll take credit for the copy, but the poetry of the headlines is a skill beyond my own.

      Bill.

      1. LinkOfHyrule
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Bill Ray, you are wasted

        Those guys do important work! The sub editors here sometimes get a little bit of stick for the odd typo slipping through into articles but their headlines are always crafted to perfection - this ones a corker, it should be entered into this years Booker Prize for literature!

        Paris because this headline's worth it!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Trollface

        Re: "specially-trained team of sub editors"

        Specially trained to write the headlines, but not read and correct the copy?

        1. diodesign Silver badge

          Re: "specially-trained team of sub editors"

          "Specially trained to write the headlines, but not read and correct the copy?"

          You guys...

          C.

        2. LinkOfHyrule
          Happy

          Re: "specially-trained team of sub editors"

          Oh come on, they do their best! I'd like to see you do a better job of it without any light, water or hope of freedom and the constant threat that senior el reg staffers will get their whips out!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Devil

            Re: the constant threat

            But that's how it is supposed to work: a flogging for every missed spelling error, a day hung up by the thumbs for every missed misuse of a hyphen or apostrophe. It is the grand tradition of the industry. It's the sort of thing that separates journalism from blogging

            1. Rampant Spaniel

              Re: the constant threat

              With my English skills it would be like a Max Mosley heaven.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Sweet Fanny Adams

    I used to work in the town where Sweet Fanny Adams met her grisly demise and it's a rather horrible story. In fact the version on Wikipedia is even worse than the one I was told locally:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fanny_Adams

  12. David Roberts

    Is it just me?

    Or does any news story with the victim called "Fanny Schlatter" where her ....ummm... fanny has been.....ummm...schlattered lose a certain amount of gravitas?

    Sympathy to anyone who has had their nether regions roasted by technology, but it took me a while to decide that the news report was serious.

    If she had been called Joan Schmidt then the question would not have arisen in my no doubt over trained mind.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Is it just me?

      Hopefully it is just you!

  13. ecofeco Silver badge
    Holmes

    Most people can't spot fakes

    That's why they are called "Fakes" and "counterfeit".

    Most people are also not anywhere near technical enough.

    Most people also have budgets. $40 for something the size of a business card puts most people off right away.

    That said, tech fakes are a HUGE worldwide problem. Even top tech companies have been fooled to the tune of millions. What chance does the avg punter stand?

    1. Alien8n
      Alien

      Re: Most people can't spot fakes

      "Even top tech companies have been fooled to the tune of millions. What chance does the avg punter stand?"

      Not to mention several governments going by the sales figures for golf ball cleaning bomb detectors...

  14. Joe Gurman

    So perhaps....

    Apple's insistence on not letting punters put their own cheap knockoff batteries in their phones isn't such a bad idea, after all?

    1. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: So perhaps....

      That's the excuse manufacturers will use, no doubt. However, I disagree - changeable batteries are one of the things (along with SD card slots) that I look for in a phone.

      1. Rampant Spaniel

        Re: So perhaps....

        Ditto. Until a phones battery can last for 80% of its original runtime after 24 months of hard use they need to be replaceable. If they cannot then there needs to be a sanely priced and quick service for getting them replaced.

        I don't believe all phones should be mandated to have user replaceable batteries, but the choice is good. I do carry an external power pack but its not always convienient to use it and you cannot charge whilst using mhl or usb otg at least as far as I know.

        I like the look of the htc one and the new sony's but the battery \ lack of sd slot kills them and the sony only going to at&t is another nail in the coffin.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. RE. fake batteries

    Hi, I've also had this problem.

    I bought a T68I "Genuine Replacement" that actually had a Li-Ion coin cell badly soldered in place, instead of the expected LiPo, good thing I took it apart to check why the capacity sucked.

    It even showed up on my phone as genuine, apparently the scammers "recycle" dead cells this way by the thousand to work around smart batteries.

    Since then I've been sent numerous pictures of "genuine" batteries with everything from bits of lead (byebye RoHS) to old screws inside to disguise the poor quality parts used.

    The scumbag faking scum are even using ultrasonic welders to put genuine cases (recycled obviously) on fake cells, and even going as far as labelling them NiMH on the Customs forms to get around the lithium restrictions.. !!!!!

    If you don't believe me google it, there are lots of deathtrap electric drill batteries around using recycled laptop packs where the one bad cell is simply removed and the completed stack soldered up and repackaged with genuine PCB and a genuine case.

    Needless to say, the e-bike users are also feeling the pain from this, as a lot of the more expensive bikes need the exact pack to work so rebuilds are commonplace.

    I am thinking about starting a counterfeit battery analysis and testing company as this could help a lot of people get their money back in a way similar to h2testw for fake memory cards..

    AC/DC

  16. bordersboy

    Reality Check

    As most of these products come from China tracing supply is impossible. Also believing the stickers is also impossible as anyone who has dealt wiht China will tell you, whatever you buy comes with the stickers you request doesn't mean a thing........

    Remember its only a few years ago a fake NEC was found out there.

    We have so much bought on our behalf out there that the supply lines are blurred and safety concerns from the maker are non-existant

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fanny Schlatter

    Sounds like an accident all in itself.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like