Mobile phone stress stalks quivering nation

There are inbred...

...strains of lab animal that are so nervous that sudden noise and light will make them suffer fatal coronaries. These lackwits must be some similar human phenomenon. Or maybe they live the lives of soap opera stars where they haven't read the script and don't know whether this week's "drama" will be their granny popping her clogs or their progeny being busted for drugs and arson (despite the fact that neither of these is actually likely).

It's just an excuse.

You wouldn't credit it...

... and these phonetards would wilt under the lack of credit. Jeeze-us-aitch-christ, the Darwin principle in action - humankind is better off without hypertensive heart-diseased mobe addicts. Die, you sad losers, and help us clean up the genepool.

So this bloke shot his wife through the wall? And the police actually believed his cock-and-bull dish story? Unless the plod are unbelievably gullible, he's cleverer than he appears at first reading.

What about us socially-avoidant types?

I jump every time the bloody thing rings. My stress levels drop considerably when I'm out of range or am allowed to have it switched off - i.e. all weekend.

Time was (when this was all fields - nineteenticketytwo or thereabouts) you could just pretend not to be at home when the phone rang and didn't have to come up with some lame ego-massaging excuse for not having been arsed to speak to someone.

@ sceptical

Do we require a dictionary corner ruling on the naming of mobetards?

I used to take the mobile off my boss's PA during her lunch hour. I thought it would do her good to go cold turkey for a while.

Personally I like to choose holiday locations on their lack of phone coverage. Anywhere north of Stirling usually works.

In other news

Rampaging mob of linguists chases double-barrel-named tit down the street for coining the disgusting word 'nomophobia'. Even worse than people who insist on mixing Latin and Greek pre/suffixes in an attempt to sound educated.

Sad, very Sad

You got to be pretty sad or insecure if you are dependent on being in mobile coverage just in case you get a text or a phone call.

I carry a mobile for one reason, so that if I buy something over the web I can give an alternate contact number to my landline.

I cant be arsed with people.

Fear of "NO SERVICE"

I'd fear having no signal if I'm in the middle of a long road trip, but that would be because if my car breaks down, I won't be able to call emergency services.

That said, unless I'm actually expecting someone to call, I sod off the cellphone. Recently I've found out that I can set up my cellphone on a "redirect all calls to voicemail" mode. Guess what I did on my last vacation.

I would have turned it off, but some people who do need to keep in contact can SMS me or e-mail me (few people have my blackberry addy) so I can still get those while sending everyone else to sod off.

As a funny note, I was merely 15 when my dad gave me my first cellphone. I was sick of it 6 months after, thanks to the hourly "WHERE ARE YOU?" calls my dad made every hour after 5pm.