back to article Sacred islet Rockall repels Brit adventurer's first assault

Heavy seas have thwarted Brit adventurer Nick Hancock's first attempt to land on the sacred islet of Rockall, and he's beaten a retreat to St Kilda ahead of a second pop tomorrow. If he can get atop the remote granite outcrop - which lies 480km off the west coast of Scotland - Hancock plans to spend 60 days there in support of …

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  1. Parax

    they are doing it all wrong!

    Since the islet is already bolted, you just need to clip on... Which could easily done with a bit of British ingenuity and a Quad copter with first person video and a detachable carabiner clip with fishing line. then once clipped on pull over a wire then decent rope. then traverse all the kit.

    Not the cheapest method but probably cheaper than many round trips to keep trying to land.

    1. IDoNotThinkSo
      Pirate

      Re: they are doing it all wrong!

      Have you tried flying a quad in a 30 knot wind whilst your boat is going up and down in an 8m swell? Good luck with that. I also suspect you'd get motion sickness in about 5 seconds.

      Of course, you might have been joking.

      This is the kind of thing you need, but it might take a few goes...

      http://www.rockrun.com/products/Beta-Clip-Stick-Extra-Long-18ft.html

      1. The Indomitable Gall
        Mushroom

        Oh ye of little faith!

        You could always have the quadcopter piloted from Texas. The only problem is that you might incorrectly get hooked onto a wedding party, but that's the price of liberty, right?

      2. Parax

        Re: "Have you tried flying a quad"

        One simply does not fly a quad, one sets it's gps and altitude, and leaves the rest to the computer.

        Of course these days it would be trivial to design an optical target bolt for automatic targeted mating.

        In fact I'm sure the navy would be very keen to purchase such a system for other ship to ship/shore requirements.

    2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Happy

      @Parax Re: they are doing it all wrong!

      There's a Dutch saying which translates to:

      The best sailors are always on shore

      I think this is most appropriate.

      I am also reminded of Harry Enfield's perennial

      You don't wanna do it like that!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. Peter Simpson 1
        Thumb Up

        Re: @Parax they are doing it all wrong!

        "The best sailors are always on shore"

        I like that, and how very true!

        And..for afterwards, one of my favorites:

        "It seemed like a good idea at the time!

  2. Alan Bourke

    Podule is such a great word.

    Podule, podule.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: Podule is such a great word.

      A delicious word, and a Vulture Central regular: http://search.theregister.co.uk/?q=podule

      1. Eddy Ito

        Re: Podule is such a great word.

        Huh, is this another case of being divided by a common language thing? I assume you don't mean the village in Poland.

    2. Mephistro
      Joke

      Re: Podule is such a great word.

      Usage examples:

      "Be careful, you're flashing your podule "

      "Podules make nice pets"

      "Man, don't be such a podule"

      "My podules are itchy"

      " Ed Podule works at The Register"

      ...

      Sorry

      I'll go quietly and perform seppukku now.

    3. ElNumbre
      Happy

      Re: Podule is such a great word.

      A man named Nick sailed to Rockall,

      and tried to land his life podule.

      The winds were quite strong

      and the waves they did throng

      and alas all he managed was f**kall.

      (on the first attempt).

  3. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    "Podule" invented by ARM?

    For the name of the daughter boards for the Archimedes?

  4. H'arj Imladd
    Pint

    I miss the Rockall Times

    Back in the day 'twas one of the finest satirical sites on the web.

    "There's F@ckall on Rockall"

    A beer in your direction Sir!

    1. asdf

      Re: I miss the Rockall Times

      Actually wasn't that some song by some witty Brit Steve Allen type of comedian in the 1950s? As UK readers mostly know and Yanks might not the North Atlantic is not to be f__ked with. Any body of water capable of producing a wave than almost capsized one of the biggest ships in the world that was carrying 16,000 people at the time, is not a place to land on a tiny rock and get your skull smashed in in the process.

    2. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: I miss the Rockall Times

      It was "There's fuc*k all on Rockall", as I recall. The * was to defeat the obscenity filters, but with the added gag of not substituting a letter. Since we didn't have lolcats, they sank us, the total cun*ts.

    3. Harry the Bastard

      Re: I miss the Rockall Times

      me too, the domain is being sadly abused these days

      so i dredged it up on the iwbm...

      http://web.archive.org/web/20041010040157/http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/rockall-ho/assault-plan.html

      happy memories

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did the UK patent the pillock?

    1. ukgnome

      yes, does this mean we owe you a quid?

  6. Mike Moyle
    Coat

    Neptune...?

    Doesn't Lir have the franchise up in that neighborhood...?

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