Stand back, everyone! Dragons' Den ace HAS FOUND THE CLOUD The wait is almost over for any Brit wanting to take a punt on a homegrown cloud services firm: the UK-based Outsourcery is poised to list on the Alternative Investment Market (AIM)* this Friday. The Manchester-headquartered business is placing a little more than 11.5 million Ordinary Shares at 110 pence giving it a market …
As a Chartered Accountant, I must say "WTF does that mean?". It's management-speak gone wrong.
"to realise" means to convert into cash, eg. to realise the value of your home by selling it.
"capitalised" means any debt due to yourself (ie. you're owed money from someone else) is reflected in the balance sheet as an asset and "capitalised loans" means any form of receivables that are currently listed in the balance sheet as assets.
So, "to realise capitalised loans" means calling in a debt or selling it on to some debt-collector.
How raising equity can result in 'realising' capital loans is fucking bizarre.
Perhaps they need the money to buy a van with a baseball bat rack, plus pay a few largish chaps to fill it - and then send it round to the people they've lent money to?
However I suspect they mean we're taking the million ourselves. We've given ourself non-performance bonuses for the startling ability to lose 300% of our total year's turnover, and put them on the books as directors' loans. We now need to get the cash out quick before our 'growth' means that losses now soar to 500% of turnover, and our entire share investment gets spent in under a year.
Maybe it's their business model: "we'll store your data!" OK, I uploaded them. "Now give us money or you'll never see those lovely data again!".
As the data are more or less loaned to them (they don't own them, and they're in their keeping) it's the only scenario I can think of that is correctly described by that expression.
I was always curious as to why they got rid of Richard Farleigh, I found him to be highly knowledgeable and constructive with advice to the contestants. Was it because he was stealing thunder from some of the other panellists?
Genesis Communications/Outsourcery....... had the pleasure of dealing with these many years ago......
I would rather wrestle a lion whilst naked and then have my broken and shredded corpse thrown into the deepest pit of Hades ready for Satan himself to subject me to an eternity of dry anal fisting than go anywhere near this company or any of its bastardised offspring again......
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