back to article Playboy submits to Apple with nudity-free 'Pornography 2.0' app

Playboy has finally produced an iOS app that gets around Apple's rather prudish attitude to things even mildly pornographic: an online edition that excludes the long-standing grumble mag's main selling point. "We're taking everything that has made Playboy great and re-imagining it for the iPhone, while reinventing our …

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  1. Martin
    Pint

    Nudity-free Playboy?

    That's like alcohol-free beer.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Meh

      Re: Nudity-free Playboy?

      "That's like alcohol-free beer."

      No it's worse. Alcohol free beer achieves nothing but offends no one. Nudity-free Playboy will certainly still engender the disapproval of all of the PC & feminist persuasions, yet with none of the upside (if synthetic bimbos is an upside).

      But congratulations to Apple for extracting the pure essence of Playboy, throwing it away, and continuing with the gloss and the trappings alone. A bit like the rest of their own products.

      1. JEDIDIAH
        Linux

        Re: Nudity-free Playboy?

        Apple managed to achieve what decades of social conservatives and feminists couldn't accomplish.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Haku

      Re: Nudity-free Playboy?

      Or Garfield without Garfield.

      No wait, that actually works - http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

    3. david 12 Silver badge

      Re: Nudity-free Playboy?

      Maybe now, but that's not what it used to be.

      Maybe like hops-free beer. I found the pictures addictive, but damn, the articles were good.

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Nudity-free Playboy?

      There have been nudity-free editions of Playboy for decades. The Braille edition has been published since around 1970 - and when Congress tried to stop the NLS from producing it in the mid-80s (and was slapped around by the courts), one of the findings was that it was the sixth-most-popular periodical in the NLS collections. The audio edition has also been published for many years. Neither of those includes the pictures, obviously.

      I was under the impression that there was a no-nudity print "library edition" as well, but I wasn't able to confirm that with a quick search, and I'm too lazy to call the library to ask.

      In any case, though, Playboy historically was reputed to be one of the better periodical venues for article writers, as it could afford to pay well, and so in theory attracted reasonably good content.

  2. Irk
    Paris Hilton

    Shel Silverstein used to write stories for Playboy

    Stephen King's had a few too. Not sure about nowadays but it used to be a very attractive literary market.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Shel Silverstein used to write stories for Playboy

      I knew they used to publish a lot of stories. The following list of writers published in Playboy between 1960 and 1990 is from Wikipedia, but it appears realistic enough:

      Saul Bellow, Sean O'Faolain, John Updike, James Dickey, John Cheever, Doris Lessing, Joyce Carol Oates, Vladimir Nabokov, Michael Crichton, John LeCarre, Irwin Shaw, Jean Shepherd, Arthur Koestler, Isaac Bashevis Singer, Bernard Malamud, John Irving, Anne Sexton, Nadine Gordimer, Kurt Vonnegut and J. P. Donleavy, as well as poetry by Yevgeny Yevtushenko.

  3. Darryl
    Unhappy

    Quotes 'R' Us

    "We're taking OUT everything that has made Playboy great and re-imagining it for the iPhone"

    Fixed it for you

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    re: one-handed viewing,

    But what's the point?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: re: one-handed viewing,

      It's kinda scandalous. At last a genuine use for handsfree, and they go and ruin it. Honestly.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Of all the people I know, the apple owners are the most filthiest, decadent, degraded people I have ever met. On the surface they excude the whole "apple=white phone=purity,virginity, innocence" etc but underneath...ugh

    You can bet that when the curtains were closed, Jobs was the worst of the lot.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      How did you work out they were all Catholic priests?

      Oh, wait.

    2. Alex Schneider

      I find that Canadians are the same way.

  6. cookieMonster Silver badge
    WTF?

    Like going to a brothel

    For a hug ....

    1. Elmer Phud

      Re: Like going to a brothel

      It's not a rare thing - apparently

  7. Cubical Drone
    Paris Hilton

    It probably will work out, unfortunately

    This sort of mimics some of the newer mags like FHM and Maxium.

    Personally I like my skin mags to show more skin, but the young-in's seem to like them which I take as a sign as the impending end of civilization.

    Paris...well, you can figure it out.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Re: It probably will work out, unfortunately

      Probably it will. The existence of Playboy in braille indicates that some people really do read it for the articles.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It probably will work out, unfortunately

        The existence of Playboy in braille indicates that some people really do read it for the articles.

        I'm not sure. From my days with dot matrix printers I recall that there is a lot you can do with strategically placed dots.

        1. Thorne

          Re: It probably will work out, unfortunately

          "I'm not sure. From my days with dot matrix printers I recall that there is a lot you can do with strategically placed dots."

          Or some very large dots...

  8. MrXavia
    WTF?

    Apple, its 1984 step by step... we track you, we tell you what you can watch, what you can install...

    Almost as insidious as Facebook, where I realised I can now track many of my friends through their days.....

    If Apple allowed other app stores, then that is fine, but as its a locked down ecosystem, it is pure censorship...

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      >If Apple allowed other app stores, then that is fine, but as its a locked down ecosystem, it is pure censorship...If Apple allowed other app stores, then that is fine, but as its a locked down ecosystem, it is pure censorship...

      Er, the thing has a web browser, y'know. You might want to reserve that phrase for when iDevices only connect to a limited number of websites on an Apple whitelist. Another solution for you would be to transfer a load of pictures from your computer to the iDevice- and saving your data allowance, too. Unlike news and emails, it matters not if the playmate picture is a month old (the picture, not the playmate).

      If the owner has the know-how, they can 'jailbreak' the iDevice and use the Cydia app store. If they don't have the know-how, then maybe it isn't the worst thing that the device limits what the user can do to it.

  9. JeevesMkII
    Trollface

    It's redundant anyway.

    Apple users just turn their iPhones in profile and spank it to how "miraculously thin and revolutionary" it is. It's all the pornography they need.

  10. YellowApple

    This is why iPhone users can't have nice things :)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No need to pay for an app when pictures of girls in burkas are readily available with a Google search.

  12. toadwarrior

    Maybe no one cares about playboy

    Nothing stops you from view porn on the web with an iPhone and surely it benefits playboy to make one mobile site that both android and iOS and whoever else can use rather than a bunch of custom apps to support. If they have that already then maybe they're finding it hard to accept a lot of young people find it too tame.

  13. tempemeaty

    Heh.....

    "Unporn"

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Heh.....

      >"Unporn"

      "Tried to de-stimulate him with a dog carcass"

      - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_mOf4kJ7dE Chris Morris' Blue Jam.

      NSFW

  14. Simon Harris

    'Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone'

    Steve Jobs batting for the opposition there?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Show me those Apple's !

    Problem with nude free nudity in a nude publication is, besides the obvious, that now you're just a pervert looking at young girls in school clothing. Is there another app for people who drive vans with blacked out windows littered with ether rags?

    Now if you are young boy/man, then you see girls like this all day long in reality and seek out true nudity, which then makes this app seem like a scam or adware. So realizing that, we are back to the perverts being the only real audience.

    I assume Playboy has added a column named "Show me those Apple's".

  16. Amorous Cowherder
    Pint

    Why bother?

    It's hardly a chore to obtain some free soft-gumble images off the web, even a simple Google search will cover that, then slap them onto your mobile if that sort of on-hand need "floats yer boat"! Will they really sell many copies of this app? Not mocking, just curious if it's worth the bother given how easy page-3 style images are to get hold of these days.

    Oh and " re-imagining "?

    Two words for anyone who uses that utterly irritating word, one starts with F and the other ends with F!

  17. LinkOfHyrule
    Paris Hilton

    "Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone."

    The reason he said that was not because he has anything against porn, but because the iPhone is not seamen resistant!

    1. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

      Re: "Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone."

      "because the iPhone is not seamen resistant"

      OK... do you know, by any chance, if its firemen resistance is equally low?

      1. Simon Harris
        Paris Hilton

        Re: "Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone."

        "OK... do you know, by any chance, if its firemen resistance is equally low?"

        I don't know, but those firemen in the Gaviscon adverts are a bit suspect!

        <-- Paris, because, well.. err..

    2. Simon Harris
      Pirate

      Re: "Folks who want porn can buy an Android phone."

      "but because the iPhone is not seamen resistant!"

      Would that be the proverbial Seaman Staines and Master Bates?

  18. Arachnoid
    Thumb Down

    So Apple is the virtual virgin of the mobile world now

    Well all I can say is sales must be at an all time low for Playboy to sink so l.......Oh sorry they cant do that any more!

  19. Arachnoid

    Oh I forgot to say

    Apple must be at an all time low too given refurbed iPhone4`s are selling on the Shopping channel Ideal world these last couple of days

  20. Tom Chiverton 1
    Stop

    Woa. No NSFW warning ?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    LOL

    "or $19.99 for a full year's one-handed viewing,"

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