Vatican updates list of mortal sins

Genetic engineering

Hmmm, well they invented it in the first place... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregor_Mendel ...'nuff said.

Unfair!

Well, good for the Chinese/Japanese. They can usher in serious genetic manipulation with no ill effects in the afterlife. Bummer.

What about "mind manipulation and perversion"? Still not on the list? Pity, eh.

Luckily, "engineering" is still allowed. Close shave here.

Mine's the one with the embroidered Nietzsche on the back.

Not File Sharing?

I know the Catholic Church is thought of for being out of date, but really, I would have thought piracy would be up there with the mortal sins, not to mention acquiring it's own circle of hell.

Certain Rights

"certain violations of the fundamental rights of human nature"

Ah, the Catholica would be the ones to know. They who have violated just about every fundamental human right there was and denied that there were such rights to begin with.

Redefine sin? Easy. Sin is to -- don't hold your breath unless you're a Catholic (in that case, hold your breath for 12 minutes) -- do something damaging to yourself. Like kicking your neighbour's dog. Get it? Do the Kantian imperative, and whatever the Vatican may think, you're probably a more decent person than that bunch of lunatics will ever produce. Wonder how much Ratzinger paid the other Cardinals, anyway; anybody except me notice his triumphant expression when he went out to announce his papal name?

Aaaargh. Need more pirates, fewer Catholics.

Intelligent... scientists?

I like it, obscures intelligence... surely they don't want more scientists?

Isn't it the drugs that make people see god?

Bill, because he is a sinner, for creating* home computers that suck up all of our coal...

*yes I know he didn't create them, blah blah

So...

this is in addition to the previous seven, right?

So does that mean we get another seven holy virtues? Can we get an updated Divine Comedy, or maybe another Brad Pitt film featuring the updated set?

And lets say you committed these new deadly sins before His Holiness updated the list... are you cool, or do you need to go to confession? If so, I might need to make a trip. Pretty sure I've racked up quite a few. I wonder if my penance could be prorated...

It was tough before with just seven. Now these? Man I am so screwed...

Genetic Manipulation.

Forgive me father for I have sinned; I helped feed starving nations.

Rich v Poor religons

Isn't the Catholic church one of the richest organisations in the world?

Does that mean it's in sin, as opposed, to say the less-worldly-goods Hare Krishnas?

mine's the cassock....

kiddy fiddler?

does vatican law still ban sex with women and hide sodomising alter boys between services? If in doubt move'em about and send all records straight to the vatican to dodge disclosure laws. sadly this is no joke......

Clearly...

They've been smoking too many drugs...

I wonder if the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has a list? :)

http://www.venganza.org/

Religion 2.0

I notice the trend is all social.

May Allah strike them down with his botnets.

Kiddierape still ok

Thankfully the sport of Bishops remains a venial matter, one up the bum no harm done as they say down the curia.

The next step

The next step is to turn back the clock one thousand years before the printing presses released the masses from eternal servitude to the church and then ban all schools except those approved by the church !

Oh sorry Sally Kern , the peoples repuke rep of the State of Oklahoma and of a certain new notoriety concerning a recent recording denigrating another class of person which just escaped to the tubes ! Anyway back to the story in hand , has just had her new bill passed in the state lower house and is busy lobbying or peddling influence to get it passed in the state upper house(hubby dearest , is a church pastor by the way) ! As with everything this one little stone cast into the pond will eventually generate a tidal wave in the bible belt where Southern Baptists wankers will fall for it hook line and sinker , just like another dry era as before in another century past !

To me these new variations are identical to the old vices , but as rewritten by legal wankers in order to reapply the church from tending the spiritual needs of the flock to pulling all the strings from behind the throne as per pre Martin Luther reformation days of old, as bad habits and yearning for the imaginary illusion of the good old days just keep on resurfacing in different guises !

Oh well , let the ignorance not reign supreme thus ! , or is it too late and "Idiocracy(with apologies to Mike J.)" has now begun in earnest ?

Bayerisches Ziel ...... Vorsprung durch TekNICQs

"I hope the Pope doesn't make us an offer we can't refuse....." .... By Mark_T

Posted Tuesday 11th March 2008 00:07 GMT

I wish to Hell and the Heavens that he would, Mark_T, for I thought that was the mission/job/See.

Catholicism

Please, please, please, don't start Christianity or God bashing because one single denomination utters such bullshit. Most other Christian denomination would not even accept the concept of "deadly sins". Its just something they use to make people feel more guilty thus giving them more power over their lives (thats why they change to more widespread sins, because then they have more power), thats not what Christianity is about and the Catholics do NOT define Christianity.

Those seven deadly sins in full.

1. Thou shalt not scare children into believing rubbish with lies and fairy tales.

2. Thou shalt not screw those special few attractive children in your care, (especially priests.)

3. Thou shalt not rewrite murderer's wikipedia entries, just because they happen to be Catholic.

4. Thou shalt not side with the third reich if they decide it's jews they want rid of.

5. Thou shalt not brainwash men into fighting wars for you, that you may control those who survive.

6. Thou shalt not covet your neighbour's (x-b) ox.

7. Thou shalt not issue crusade immunity to murder thousands of women and children of religions you find "unconvenient."

from boingboing

The seven social sins are:

1. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control

2. "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

I'm so happy I left the church

The money I save on tithes is enough to pay some nice ladies of negotiable affection a visit a few times a year.

Ratzinger is completely off his rocker, not that they were ever really sane. I think it was in one of the Pratchett books: "the only real sin is to treat people as if they were things". I can kindof agree with that.

Alien 'cos they're probably pissing themselves laughing if they're watching.

Drugs weaken the mind?

Say that after 5 dried grammes of Psilocybin

Oh, and, FYI, ALCOHOL IS A FUCKING DRUG!

A drug which;

* Is highly dependent

* Causes depression

* Causes street violence

* Contributes to theft

* Contributes to sex crimes (ok, so a pissed up tart may not be committing the crime, but it still contributes)

Lets see what they do with the "blood of christ" now

@ The Actual List

OK, 1 and 7 are in direct conflict. Prohibiting birth control causes overpopulation which worsens poverty.

2 is subjective because morals are subjective.

3 If I use drugs as they were meant to be used, I'm not abusing them I guess...

6 is in direct conflict with the catholic church's worldwide assets.

Any more for any more?

NeuReal Reformations ...... Another Bite at the Cherry Apple.

"Alien 'cos they're probably pissing themselves laughing if they're watching." ... By Anonymous Coward Posted Tuesday 11th March 2008 09:24 GMT

I imagine you are not wrong, AC. :-) Perhaps they'll Give US a little Push in A.N.Other DirectAXXXXIOn.

And the alien because there's an XXXXPlanaNation for all of this ... a Simulated Cyber Assault on Systems of InfraStructure Control.

Ahem...

Why do we even care? Truly a really all-powerful being would not need something as pathetic as the Catholic Church to bring out his message but would head straight for the core DNS servers. Ignore them, they're trolling. :-)

*Yawn*

Another predictable bunch of "Ug! Religious stupid. Me bash religious."

Any religious group can tell its members whatever it likes -- if you're not one of them, how on Earth does it affect you?

Besides -- you don't even know what they said: all you got was a pithy, watered-down soundbite version. I'm not sure, but I'd be surprised if the Vatican truly felt that vegetarian cheese (using GM bacteria in place of rennet) was a problem.

If I want to find out, well I suppose I'll have to go to a church and hear what a priest has to say. Unless and until I do so, I cannot make any educated comment on the matter -- and neither can any of you.

Grow up.

Save a space for me

Looks like me and everyone I know are off to hell as I had enough trouble with the current 10!!!! (3 down and still counting)

Anonymous Coward as her husband reads this site!!!!!!

@AC Re: *Yawn*

"Any religious group can tell its members whatever it likes -- if you're not one of them, how on Earth does it affect you?"

- Because quite a few of them seem to want to convert me or even blow me up just because I don't agree with them. I'd say it affects all of us, every day.

"If I want to find out, well I suppose I'll have to go to a church and hear what a priest has to say."

- As long as you realise you won't be getting a balanced view, or anything based on fact or evidence.

"Grow up."

- I *am* a grown up, which is why I stopped believing in fairy stories.

@AC Re: *Yawn*

"if you're not one of them, how on Earth does it affect you?"

How does it affect the women in third world countries who are refused access to contraception because these drooling lunatics are imposing their twisted hangups on the whole world? Quite a lot, I would think.

Huh?

And here I thought Catholics were people who are addicted to cats...

Ba-dum tish...

Re: *YAWN*

I did grow up, part of which was casting of the shackles of a narrow mind, opening up and realising that if I communicate with people in a respectful manner, not ram my indoctrinated notions down their throats, they tended to be far more enjoyable company and I broadened my own horizons considerably.

George Carlin said "When I was young I was a Catholic, that is until I reached the age of reason."

Sin and go no more

There's no sin in Cincinnati. It's all across the river in Newport, KY. That's where the red light district and cheap booze is.

There are too many sinners out there. Where's an inquisition when we need one?

Joan of Arc --- Wasn't she the patron saint of welding?

We're "earth centric". Galileo was wrong-headed. Copernicus, be damned.

Newton's Social Laws of Sin:

I. A physical body will remain at rest, or continue to move at a constant velocity, unless a sin acts upon it.

II. The net sin on a body is equal to its mass* multiplied by its acceleration.

III. To every sin there is an equal and opposite sin.

* We Catholics know about masses, don't we? Be there or be square.

If anyone is going to foster any more sin lists, I'll have to take the mortal use of my name personally.

Genetic Modification?

Is that something like Creating Man? Or pinching a rib and modifying it to create someone of the opposite sex?

And as for pollution, if it is a mortal sin, why doesn't God provide a few stone tablets with the plans for cheap fusion?

Picture

Who's the guy with the bow-tie in the photo? Is he somebody I should recognize?

God *DID* Provide, but somebody tripped

Moses: The Lord, the Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...

[drops one of the tablets] *&#^CRASH&$%#@

Moses: Oy! Ten! Ten commandments for all to obey!

--History of the World: Part I (1981)

Re: RE: *yawn*

@Christoph:

"How does it affect the women in third world countries who are refused access to contraception because these drooling lunatics are imposing their twisted hangups on the whole world? Quite a lot, I would think."

Oh yes, an awful lot. It affects the price of your food and consumer goods. As the population of third world countries increases, more of their land is needed to service their own needs, so less is available to sell to us (part of the reason for the current hike in world food prices). This means that there's more economic activity and more development. We lose our cheap labour, hence our cheap goods.

I wish I could remember his name, but I once heard an economist state that as a result of the colonial wars and the slave trade (all done by us whites), most of Africa is still underpopulated, and that it will never be economically stable until it has a big enough internal consumer base. Well-meaning charities who promote population control as a means of bettering the lot of the Africans were, according to him, merely prolonging the status quo of underdevelopment, poverty and poor sanitation.

Global Warming didn't work last time.

We've already done the plagues, floods and desert stuff before.

Doesn't seem to have made much impact on piety (who ate all the piety?) and the RSPCA are still looking in to overcrowding on an animal transport vessel but the market for chocolate-covered locusts is looking good.

Still, look on the bright side.

We are patiently waiting for Yellowstone Park to erupt or a huge rock to impact or one side of Tenerife to slip in to the sea. As yet, despite biblical accounts of re-starting the operating system, we've not had the pleasure of a complete global re-boot apart from when the plug was pulled and the system re-started from a back-up few thousand humans.

Genetic Manipulation?

If that's off, my foreplay technique is crap! Sorry Miss, we'll just have to go right to the main event - the Pope told me so.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.

@vincent himpe and ian

fucking genius. not laughed so hard in my life; guess the noise pollution factor adds up as a 'sin'.

why do we bother listeing to these blasted windbags, because its bloody real entertainment.

salute the quacks

Sky Daddies Unite!

The end is near!

Waay out of touch

The Vatican wasnt paying attention when the list was dictated to them....they forgot to write down SPAM.

Two faced bastards

I am not condeming the Catholic faith, just those hypocrits that run it, from the Pope down to the priests who are on the take.

Living in a 3rd world, it makes me sick to see how the RC church is milking any money it can from those that least afford it, to line their own pockets, and the abuse of girls by these priests.

These guys live one some of the best houses here (Philippines), have plenty food and gophers looking after them, while their parishioners are hungry, poorly dressed and no medical aid that they can afford. Yet the church bleeds them dry any time that it can, it makes me puke, all that keeps me sane is the thought that every dog will have his day, and those bastards will get their come uppance when they meet their God.

I thought this had all stopped when the Spanish were kicked out by the Americans, but nothing has changed, even their politicians have got in on the act.

I am anonymous as my name would be recognised here, and we do have a high drive by shooting rate.

@Everybody

Thanks for all the great laughs - ROTFLMAO!

So many laughable ideas, any budding comedian could be set for a two-year tour with this lot!