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back to article Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

Dr Simon Park, a senior lecturer in molecular biology at the University of Surrey, has unleashed untold horror on the world in the form of photos of germ colonies on mobile phones. And not just any germs: he's cultured the things that live on undergraduate students' faces. Park justifies his activities as teaching science, …

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  1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Devil

    Psychedelicious!

    I misread "Boffin snaps spotty student mobe sperm horror", which would have been interesting.

    IIRC, these microsbes can be harmless or really nasty skin eating strains. I foresee a market for slightly radioactive mobiles, though the hardware would fail quickly.

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  2. Steven Roper

    H.G. Wells put it best

    "By the toll of a billion deaths, man has bought his birthright of the earth, and it is his against all comers; it would still be his though the Martians were ten times as mighty as they are. For neither do men live nor die in vain."

    Though those bacterial colonies may look disgusting, without them we could not live, our earth would be piled neck-deep in dead animals and plants, we'd have no immune system, and awesome foodstuffs like yoghurt and cheese would not exist!

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    1. John H Woods Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: H.G. Wells put it best

      This is only the beginning of what lives on and in you. If you count cells numerically, rather than by volume, we're only 90% human. And some of the multicellular organisms in the habitat of a person look truly horrific under the microscope - search "Demodex".

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  3. Graham Marsden
    Thumb Up

    B-Ark....

    ... but think of all those new jobs that could be created for Telephone Sanitizers!

    4 0
    1. Mips
      Reply Icon
      Childcatcher

      Re: B-Ark....

      It was the hairdressers that survived. So get that beard off NOW!

      0 0
  4. Martin Budden Silver badge
    Mushroom

    "other people, soil, etc"

    It's the "etc" part that is most worrying!

    (Icon: nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure)

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  5. B-D
    WTF?

    Well done Simon

    Print this article out on cut price toilet paper and you'll have your very own sun article.

    You did forget to make bold and capitalise the emotive words though, the HORROR!

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  6. James Foreman

    Don't worry, Kickstarter rides to the rescue...

    http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/588318042/phonesoap-simultaneously-charge-and-sanitize-your

    Except, well, it's Kickstarter, so it seems a mystery whether the miraculous phone cleaning device will ever condense from vapourware or not...

    1 0
  7. LaeMing
    Go

    So...

    that 'harmful' mobile phone 'radiation' might be a good thing now?

    2 0
    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Mushroom

      Re: So...

      No it would just speed up the mutation rate, increasing the likelihood something TRULY HORRIFYING is born.

      (Hint Deinococus radiodurans can withstand 50,000 grays and is found feeding on faecal matter. Human's get hairless after 3 grays and don't feed on faecal matter.)

      1 0
      1. DJ Smiley
        Reply Icon
        Trollface

        Re: So...

        Sadly all you've proven is we should either start eating poop or bow down to our poop eating overlords.

        3 0
  8. Magani
    Alert

    This article reads remarkably like...

    ... one of those commercial TV current affairs shock/horror stories that your kitchen bench has more bacteria than your toilet bowl or whatever.

    From my (very basic) knowledge of biology, just about anything in a Petri dish will grow into The Slime from 20000 Fathoms' given reasonable conditions and time.

    Warning icon in lieu of Biohazard sign.

    3 0
    1. Crisp
      Reply Icon

      Re: This article reads remarkably like...

      I've never understood why I should be worried about the bacteria in my toilet bowl.

      I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

      1 0
      1. Pookietoo
        Reply Icon

        Re: I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

        But you do atomize some of the water every time you flush ...

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  9. Alistair
    Alert

    Cellphone bio mutant bugs!

    Nasty skin buggies on cellphones mutating due to cellphone radiation will cause the next ZombyPocalypse!

    (yup -- we need a ZombiePocalypse Icon)

    1 0
    1. D@v3
      Reply Icon
      Alert

      Re: Cellphone bio mutant bugs!

      Next Zombypocalypse? did i miss something?

      1 0
  10. Dave 62
    Pint

    blue light kills acne bacteria (supposedly) but idk if a phone screen will output the right frequency (405–425 nanometer) and I highly doubt it's of sufficient intensity.

    Lots of stuff on fleabay designed for this purpose, made in china, dubious claims etc.

    Probably why purple LEDs are rare as.

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    1. Roland6 Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      blue light kills acne bacteria (supposedly)

      Expect a patent for the acne prevention phone which detects when it being held close to the face so screen changes to relevant frequency. Only problem is that if it actually worked the user may end up with a phone shaped area of acne free skin...

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  11. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Disinfection!

    "...doesn’t just remember telephone numbers..." That's the reason why my mobile gets regular treatment with a mixture of propan-1-ol, propan-2-ol and some other ingredients. Doesn't kill all, but a lot.

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Windows

      Re: Disinfection!

      Isopropyl alcohol, propanol, IPA, rubbing alcohol or, propan-1-ol, propan-2-ol if you prefer, will kill 99.9% of bacteria within 5 minutes...Its as good as bleach and evaporates to leave no residue.

      Nor will bleach clean a LCD screeen! ;-)

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      1. DJ Smiley
        Reply Icon
        Facepalm

        Re: Disinfection!

        Shame that its the 0.01% of bacteria that make us Ill, eh?

        1 0
      2. Pookietoo
        Reply Icon

        Re: evaporates to leave no residue

        Actually the ATF requires that rubbing alcohol should contain about 0.3% soluble solids - this will be deposited when the alcohol evaporates.

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  12. John Robson Silver badge
    Go

    But can we infer the pattern lock from the distribution of bacteria/fungi?

    'cos that would be cool - gross, but cool.

    1 0
  13. TheWeenie
    Happy

    Can't help but wonder what viruses were found though. Given how much time a mobile spends in close proximity to your mouth, not to mention the other immunologically questionable activities one may get up to with a camera phone, it's hardly a surprise.

    I'm no scientist but I'd imagine that the face of the average mobile is comparatively clean when compared to the hands of the person using it!

    Insert questionable pun regarding mobile anti-virus products here.

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  14. ukgnome
    Thumb Up

    Germ Free? then you need this

    0 0
  15. Thomas 4
    Unhappy

    I'm sad to say...

    ...that the class was wiped out when they decided to do a follow-up experiment involving a standard office keyboard. Those that weren't killed by a cocktail of disease were devoured by a QWERTY-based blob monster.

    1 0
    1. Elmer Phud
      Reply Icon
      Alert

      Re: I'm sad to say...

      and if the keyboard is held upside down and shaken the snot and crumb monsters appear.

      torn between 'no shit' and 'run for the hills' icon -- but I guess 'no shit' is incorrect.

      2 0
  16. Silverburn

    Biology is great...

    ...it means we're actually naturally protected from most of these nasties. Only a few actually cause any issues, and if bacteria, the results are *mostly* annoying, rather than fatal*.

    However...that doesn't quell my desire to never touch or use my phone again.

    *Unless it's in an NHS hospital, whereapon they will probably eat you alive in 3 days, starting with the side of your face you put your phone to. Which is a disturbing thought..

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    1. Pookietoo
      Reply Icon

      Re: Which is a disturbing thought..

      Calm down, no need for panic - they've put those antiseptic gel dispensers everywhere so we're all safe. Until a resistant strain grows on the dispensers.

      1 0
  17. jon 72
    Coat

    Freak Brother

    Oh god I'm having flashbacks of Fat Freddy's sock fungus

    1 0
  18. Steve Evans

    Don't panic!

    We're covered, and full of bacteria. Most of it benign.

    A bit of exposure is good for keeping the immune system in tip-top condition.

    1 0
  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I LOVE YOU, KITCHEN GUN

    It really is the only way to be sure.

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