back to article Dead Steve Jobs tried to KILL Ashton Kutcher from beyond the grave

Hollywood heartthrob Ashton Kutcher was "terrified" and spent time in hospital after trying too hard to achieve authenticity in his depiction of the late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in a new film. The actor - who stars as Jobs in the new movie jOBS - used method acting to get inside the head of the great entrepreneur who built …

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  1. mastodon't
    Pirate

    jobs was a seriously deranged nutjob

    But he was OUR seriously deranged nutjob

    RIP Steve – Pirate of Silicone Valley

    Aaaaarrrrrrgggg

    1. Captain Hogwash
      Coat

      Re: Pirate of Silicone Valley

      You mean Silicon Valley which is near San Francisco. Silicone Valley is in the Los Angeles area and is famous for an entirely different kind of product.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: jobs was a seriously deranged nutjob

      Idi Amin was a fruitarian and a deranged nut job too.

      Just sayin'... ;)

      1. Michael Thibault

        Re: jobs was a seriously deranged nutjob

        Idi Amin suffered from advanced general paresis, did he not? Might explain some of his more unusual behaviours.

        1. Spoonsinger

          Re: jobs was a seriously deranged nutjob

          I like Forest Whitaker in movies. Yes I know he's not in the Kevin Costner league of bad movies - but they both bring a certain something to the debacle - which will make them part of the great 1930/40's tradition of go for it actors.

  2. The FunkeyGibbon
    Facepalm

    Method Acting

    When Dustin Hoffman was involved with the movie Marathon Man, his character was depicted as looking like he had stayed awake for three nights. Dustin, being a method actor, decided to stay up for three nights in real life in order for it to look more realistic. When he came to the set, Laurence Olivier (An actor some consider one of the greatest in the world) asked him why he looked so tired and Dustin told him. Then Olivier pauses for a moment, then makes the famous statement, "Try acting, dear boy...it's much easier."

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Method Acting

      I'm sure I remember that Olivier quote being; " My dear boy, why don't you try acting? The rest of us have been getting away with it for years."

      Rather wittier IMHO.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Method Acting

      Spot on... How much do these bell ends get paid to gurn at a camera and read scripted lines.. and they wonder why the common man resorts to torrents in protest...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Re: Method Acting

        Method acting is ACTING, it's a bullshit term that lesser actors use, so they consider themselves "Classical" (which they are). Not nearly enough people can pull themselves fare enough away (or closest enough depending on style/opinion) to make it effective. All of Broadway understands this (but most of them are so good they take acting to a whole new level), and the cross-over from Vaudeville to current cinema lost sight of this for production times. Sure, you can pump out more movies and make more money with a "Classical acting" approach, but what have you lost?

        The term "Method acting" just needs to go away, so does the term "Classical acting". Method acting is all that "Classical" is, with a little more Cow Bell. To be a method actor you have to already possess what it takes to be a "Classical Actor". "Method acting" > "Classical acting". So to me, a "Classical" actor is an apprentice, and the "Method" actor is the master. It's not a fluke that most of our favorite actors have been labeled "Method Actors".

        Dustin Hoffman had the edge in that conversation.

    3. Intractable Potsherd

      Re: Method Acting

      "Laurence Olivier (An actor some consider one of the greatest in the world)". True, but I've never understood it. I don't think he can act for toffee. As an example of how not to act, just watch "The Prince and the Showgirl" - neither "star" does anything even remotely close to acting well, in the sense of making the characters believable.

      However, I may be somewhat out of step with the rest of the world, because I don't think Denzel Washington can act either ...

  3. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Kutcher,

    what a wimp.

    1. James Hughes 1

      Re: Kutcher,

      One has to wonder - he was only on the diet for 2 days... that doesn't seem long enough to really throw your system out of whack unless there is an underlying problem.

      1. Piro Silver badge

        Re: Kutcher,

        Completely agreed.

        In the past I've spent extensive periods drinking beer and eating crisps, sat at my computer (not exactly something to be proud of). Not exactly a complete or healthy diet, and I didn't end up in hospital.

        Weeks with nothing else, I can see. 2 days? Christ, you'd be fine without ANY food for 2 days.

        1. Andus McCoatover
          Windows

          Re: Kutcher,

          ...you'd be fine without ANY food for 2 days.

          True. Every summer, I'd take nothing but lots of water from Friday until the next Friday. 7 days fast. Great way to detox. Felt like dogshit over the weekend (never tempted to eat any, though), but Monday-Thursday I felt absolutely on full power! Unbelievable! Friday, starting to flag somewhat, so eat something light, like a can of soup and a slice of bread.

          I recommend it!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Kutcher,

        Actors are very sensitive people and shouldn't be judged by the standards of common folk. That's why they call us "civilians"; because unless you've been through the Hell that is acting, you cannot possibly understand it.

      3. Naughtyhorse
        Holmes

        Re: Kutcher,

        frutarian tho..

        makes vegans look well adjusted and sensible.

        There was some reality program on a few months back with one of these sanctimonious morons. Even after the medics (what do _doctors_ know about the nurtitional requirements of the human body after all.) showed him (he was about 30) that he had the skeleton of a 60 year old, his liver was within a two decades of getting out and walking (massive daily iron overdose) - but that was ok, cos in 10 or so years, when the diabetes kicked in, what with him deriving 95% of his calorific intake from sucrose, it would inevetably prove fatal.

        twat was unable to pull his head out of his arse and claimed he wasnt going to change a thing.

        i had no idea tha st jobs was one of these, not a surprise really. what was his cause of death again??

        1. Piro Silver badge

          Re: Kutcher,

          I didn't know Jobs did this rubbish either - surely that would have not helped his condition! Is this a matter of people not telling him what to do, even though he was ruining his body?

          Wasn't it said that he tried to seek "alternative (unproven)" medicine first, thus potentially making a real recovery delayed?

          Seems like he didn't take care of himself.. But not in a fun way. If I die because of a dietary choice, it'll probably be through heavy alcohol consumption.

          Not eating nothing but carrots for a week.

          1. Naughtyhorse

            Re: Kutcher,

            akshully i can not has a karut

            it are a vejutuble.

            increasingly looks like jobs cause of death was suicide by stupidity, arrogance & delusion.

            turns out the reality distortion field is a Very Bad Thing.

      4. Jean-Luc
        Trollface

        Re: Kutcher,

        True, which is why I would add a surely untrue, unwarranted cynical, alternative explanation:

        Before release, any publicity is good publicity.

        Ever notice how even real movie stinkers have a spike of supposedly-unrelated interviews with the main actors? Interviews which, quite by accident, mention the upcoming movie in passing?

        No, nothing like "this is the greatest movie ever". But often things like "a big challenge of mine in filming XYZ was..."

        Megan Fox talking about reading the comics for Texarcana for example. The article almost had me thinking she was a brainy geek who never got asked to the prom ;-)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Showing off our stupidity eh?

    Does this guy have any working braincells or is he simply too focussed on staying in the (press) spotlight here?

    You can't "just" take over someones habbits and think you'll get away with it, especially when it involves very specific things like a way of clothing or an eating pattern. A friend of mine always wears a bodywarmer. And I mean that literally; always.

    When we have winter weather like now he does put on an extra scarf (?) around his neck but that's it. Without any extra clothing he simply puts on his bodywarmer and steps right outside. Even with -10 to -15 degrees. And most of all he feels perfectly fine with it. And no; its not because he's extra cold resistant or something, quite the contrary actually. Whenever I visit him I often think its pretty warm in his house.

    SO... Surely it shouldn't be that hard to realize that if you try to follow his example while you're used to wearing warm and thick jackets in the winter that you'll most likely end up with a major cold or maybe even worse?

    Makes me wonder what's next; is this guy now going to conclude that Mr. Jobs lived a very unhealthy life or something?

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Windows

      Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

      Dunno where your'e living...

      Here, -20C, snowing, and this 56-year old git is going to walk 2 miles to the bank to pay a cheque in. Then, back.

      OK, try: http://yle.fi/uutiset/lapland_experiences_record_freeze/6469117

      Frikking nippy. Wish I was looking after Lester Haines' donkey right now.....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

        Only -41C...

        Common that's nothing check these records out. Same country there with -52C.

        But -89 that's something, and there is a station located there, what about a sauna an rolling around in the snow there?

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_weather_records

        1. Steve Evans

          Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

          I know I can't really compete with the temperature willy-waving that's going on here, but a couple of weeks ago I did have a snowball fight whilst wearing nothing but swimming shorts and flip-flops.

          8 feet from a 35c thermal bath - with a bar - bliss :-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

      "SO... Surely it shouldn't be that hard to realize that if you try to follow his example while you're used to wearing warm and thick jackets in the winter that you'll most likely end up with a major cold or maybe even worse?"

      You do know that catching a cold is nothing to do with being cold... don't you?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Coat

        Re: Showing off our stupidity eh?

        No, I don't know that, particularly because it isn't necessarily true ("none" is not the negation of "all"). There are dozens of pathogens which can cause cold-like symptoms, and you don't know which you have for any particular cold. Neither does your doctor. They all generally thrive however in colder conditions and are particularly easy to spread when you are reusing the same warm gloves, coat, sharing a car with the windows closed, and generally spending more time indoors with more people than usual.

        Not enough research has been done to produce anything like a canonical list of the pathogens, and some infections could indeed be subject to specific contributory factors [such as an episode of lower body temperature].

  5. Neil Alexander
    Thumb Up

    "No mention of the health effects of running around screaming at people, another salient characteristic of the great tech CEO."

    This actually made my day.

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Well, he didn't get very old, did he?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Jobs was the perfect example of why scientific medicine is the best we have, and "alternative therapies" aren't.

        Homoeopathy, fruitarianism and so on work fine on people who have nothing wrong with them. It's like Shaw's comment at Lourdes when shown the discarded crutches: "but where are the wooden legs?"

        1. Fai

          Eating fruit alone, and nothing else, as fruitarians may do is one way to put your body into serious whack. You're not meant to process so much fructose at once - it has similar effects on your liver to metabolising alcohol without the mind-altering effect - you'll damage your organs eventually.

          One piece of fruit a day is not going to harm you, with the package of fibre and vitamins, but as with anything else out of moderation, you're just self harming. Wonder why the USA where they have high-fructose corn syrup in everything instead of cane sugar has such high levels of obesity?

  6. Mystic Megabyte

    I've met frutarians, they're all nuts!

  7. Robert Helpmann??
    Childcatcher

    "Out of Whack"

    That's a technical term, right? At least he has the central self-promotional part of the role down.

  8. Toothpick
    Meh

    Dear Anna ....

    ... I think everyone knows Steve Jobs is dead. Unless, that is, there is an alive Steve Jobs.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dear Anna ....

      I expect there are plenty of alive Steve Jobses, but they are all still hidden under the RDF.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What did he expect?!

    But deciding to follow the Apple Inc founder's fruitarian diet for two days was too much for Kutcher, putting the actor's pancreas "out of of whack" and putting him in hospital.

    ------------------------------------------

    Well the diet obviously didn't work out too well for Jobs.... What was Kutcher thinking?!

    1. t.est

      Re: What did he expect?!

      Well Jobs also had a private Sushi chef.

  10. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Simon Harris
    Unhappy

    "deciding to follow the Apple Inc founder's fruitarian diet for two days was too much for Kutcher"

    It is fortunate then that he wasn't filming Alan Turing's life story and trying his apple-y diet.

    (Hugh Whitemore's play 'Breaking the Code' is well worth seeing if you ever get the chance).

  12. sisk
    Facepalm

    This is NOT method acting!

    Speaking as someone who has a degree in acting* this is not how you do method acting. You don't get into a murderer's head by killing someone, you don't get into an insomniac's head by staying up for days at a time, and you don't get into Steve Jobs' head by following his questionable diet.

    Seriously, someone hand these Hollywood types one of Stanislovsky's books before any more of them end up killing themselves trying to use method acting without knowing what it is.

    *Yes, I really majored in acting my first go around in college, no I don't know why, no I never did anything with it, no I have no idea how I went from that to programming, and yes I'd like to go back in time and smack some sense into my 18 year old self.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This is NOT method acting!

      Upvoted because realism and insight are such rare qualities nowadays.

  13. Steve Evans

    actors are strange.

    Put his system out of wack? Sounds perfect for later in the film, unless he'd already got the liver removal scheduled.

  14. David Simpson 1
    FAIL

    So Ashton Kutcher is the first human to be able to "feel his pancreas is out of whack" That is quite an achievement, the only other question is why eating fruit for two days it happened at all ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Two days consuming nothing but apple brandy would make his pancreas unhappy.

    2. JeffyPooh
      Pint

      ...first human to be able to "feel his pancreas is out of whack"

      He probably had 'The Trots' and confused it with Death Warmed Over.

    3. John Bailey

      Well.. A sudden diet change can lead to a bit of a gippy tummy. Perhaps that was the terrible ordeal he had to expereince. Although constipation could explain a lot about Jobs.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Two things...

    While eating a vegetarian diet is not too much of a diet problem (all that stuff we need is in some plant somewhere, just needs care), fruit only is. Why? Because you can overdose on the sugars in fruit just as you can the sugars in beers and spirits, which leads to liver problems. But that's a long term problem.

    Short term is the lack of any nutrients you need that are readily available in veg etc (nuts, mushrooms, whatever), that are not in fruit.

    While I am not a doctor or dietitian, I do try to keep to common sense though!

  16. stephajn
    FAIL

    Article Title Out of Whack

    Seriously??? Dead Steve Jobs Tried to Kill actor from beyond the grave?? Could we seriously be trying to grasp at straws here for drama and absolute stupidity in an article title? I wasn't aware that we were reading the National Enquirer here...

    1. Simon Harris

      Drama and absolute stupidity

      Erm - you do know where we are, don't you?

    2. Intractable Potsherd
      Happy

      Re: Article Title Out of Whack

      stefajn - Welcome! New here, aren't you?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "considering everything"

    Which, I suppose, one might as well, if one is going to be completely terrified.

  18. bjr

    You eat rat poison for two days and not get sick

    I'm not recommending it but you could probably sprinkle D-Con on your Wheaties for two days and not end up in the hospital. Unless he's seriously diabetic there is no way an all fruit diet, or an all bacon grease diet for that matter, could harm him. The pinhead who did Supersize Me claimed that an all MacDonalds diet caused his liver to shutdown after a month. Bad diets take decades to harm you, no normal food can harm you in a few days or even in a few months. An extreme diet can cause a nutritional deficiency given enough time, a no fruit diet would cause scurvy and an all fruit diet would cause a protein deficiency, but those take many months.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You eat rat poison for two days and not get sick

      Actually, I know several people who do, indeed, eat "rat poison" every day. Anybody with a metal heart valve (as opposed to a pig valve) will be taking Cumidin or Warfarin every day to keep their tendency to clot down.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: You eat rat poison for two days and not get sick

      I'm not recommending it but you could probably sprinkle D-Con on your Wheaties for two days and not end up in the hospital. Unless he's seriously diabetic

      He wasn't seriously diabetic before filming, but he is now

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any doctor's here? WTF are "pancreas levels".

    My understanding is that it produces a load of different hormones and enzymes (not just Insulin and Glucagon which control blood sugar levels). As it's so involved with digestion it stands to reason that it produces different quantities of enzymes as appropriate to the stomach contents.

    I can suggest several other explanations:

    whatever Mr Kutcher was suffering from was psychosomatic (brain thinks "Jobs ate loads of fruit and died of Pancreatic cancer - I just ate loads of fruit - EEK")

    There is a serious un-diagnosed pre-existing condition which has been exacerbated by the changed diet

    He consumed some fruit which had gone bad or was not properly washed

    He consumed some variety of fruit not part of his normal diet and reacted badly to it, allergy maybe.

    He consumed an unfamiliar item that in its uncooked state is toxic. I don't know of any fruit with this problem but uncooked cassava has lethal levels of cyanide, uncooked red kidney beans (and some other varieties of bean) have lethal levels of Ricin.

    "Doubled over in pain" perhaps his changed diet had resulted in excess bowel gas production which can have this effect. Did he feel better after a massive fart?

    Into which end of his digestive system was said fruit diet inserted. We've all at some time looked at the price of Apple hardware and said "Steve Jobs can stick Apple up his arse", perhaps Mr Kircher misunderstood... Advice: next time use a pine-apple.

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