back to article First Google wants to know all about you, now it wants a RING on your finger

Top Google bods are mulling over using cryptographic finger-ring gadgets and other ways for users to securely log into websites and other services. The ad giant's security veep Eric Grosse and engineer Mayank Upadhyay have submitted the paper Authentication at Scale to the IEEE Security & Privacy Magazine; their central …

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  1. Pen-y-gors

    I must be missing something

    Won't there be a rash of people having their fingers chopped off and their magic rings stolen?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You have got to be kidding

      Big sovereign rings are for Chavs, Google rings would really single you out as a nerd and a plonker, flash it in a bar 'hi babe I'm connected' will probably single you out as the guy to avoid. You will never have sex and you will be alone for the rest of your life.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        I'd wear one if they modified the ring to go with my piercings, I want one for my nipple and one for my ;-)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        Yeah, it will probably look more like a cock ring.

        1. Graham Marsden
          Angel

          Re: You have got to be kidding

          "it will probably look more like a cock ring."

          Please thrust your groin against the keyboard to continue...

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: You have got to be kidding

            Doesn't have to be a ring... this person has a chip implanted (but then so does my dog) to give him quick instant access top a child-proof gun safe:

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxNjqN4Gdc0

            Bit too far for my taste. It could easily be retrofitted to a wristwatch (or its strap) though. Yeah, I know that American commentards don't think that anyone wears a watch these days, but many of us in the rest of the world do.

            With a ring, the logical conclusion is that any device you pick up temporarily becomes 'yours'. Pick up any phone, and it will be your contacts and emails displayed.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: You have got to be kidding

              "With a ring, the logical conclusion is that any device you pick up temporarily becomes 'yours'. Pick up any phone, and it will be your contacts and emails displayed."

              And the downside being that someone near you could gain access without the ring being removed from you. Sit a transceiver* under the victims desk to relay ring information and you can do it very remotely.

              Will there be a master-key ring owned by Google? The one ring to rule them all...

              *what ever the communication method used, eg near field, it could be relayed by radio or across the internet to a more convenient location.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: You have got to be kidding

          "Yeah, it will probably look more like a cock ring."

          I think you've just given its wearers the perfect nickname, " Oh look he's one of those 'Google ring-cocks'! ".

      3. Ian Bremner
        Unhappy

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        yeah, that's not going to make a lot of difference to me then.

        .

        .

        .

        .

        I'm soooooo lonely

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        "Google rings would really single you out as a nerd and a plonker, flash it in a bar 'hi babe I'm connected' will probably single you out as the guy to avoid. You will never have sex and you will be alone for the rest of your life."

        Bitter much?

      5. Code Monkey
        Windows

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        Big sovereign rings are for Chavs, Google rings would really single you out as a nerd and a plonker, flash it in a bar 'hi babe I'm connected' will probably single you out as the guy to avoid. You will never have sex and you will be alone for the rest of your life.

        Nerds will suss out that this is cobblers. It's your company BMW, bluetooth headset rep plonkers that'll lap this up.

      6. Euripides Pants

        Re: You have got to be kidding

        "You will never have sex and you will be alone for the rest of your life."

        And you'll never get an STD

    2. Alfred

      Re: I must be missing something

      Why would there be a rash of people cutting fingers off? If a large number of criminals currently exist who are happy to cut someone's finger off to get into their eMail, they can already do it using current technology by the following steps:

      1) Get hold of person you want to read email of

      2) Make it clear you'll cut their fingers off if they don't hand over the password (cut off one as a demonstration).

      Substitute finger removal for personal choice of permanent maiming according to preference.

      Given that this does not seem to happen a lot, why would it suddenly start happening?

  2. Jon Green
    Facepalm

    USB authenticator cards...

    ...just the thing for using with your smartphone...

    1. 0_Flybert_0

      Re: USB authenticator cards...

      mini - usb adapter for smartphones .. unless you have that old boxy iphone that refuses standard connectors

      btw .. the usb is for a new computer being used .. your phone is already authenticated if you gave the number to Google ..

      I've never given my mobile number to Google and have no problem logging in to gmail or my webmaster account from different computers or my Galaxy SIII .. can Google ID the number of Android phones ?

    2. Eugene Crosser
      Thumb Up

      Re: USB authenticator cards...

      NFC: http://www.yubico.com/products/yubikey-hardware/yubikey-neo/

      1. 0_Flybert_0
        Facepalm

        Re: Yubikey

        oh fine then .... NearFieldComms ... excellent ... no need for dongle in smartphones ...

        however ... iphone doesn't do NFC either ... come on Apple ...

  3. Buzzword

    We've been here before.....

    1998 called, they want their Java ring back.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: We've been here before.....

      Quite a lot of those Google engineers came from Sun so this shouldn't be a surprise.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: We've been here before.....

        Which is why they spend their days messing around with dull clunky shit that nobody cares about.

    2. Graham Marsden
      Alert

      Re: We've been here before.....

      The 1930's called, they want their Secret Decoder Ring back...!

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_decoder_ring

  4. William Boyle
    Joke

    So, in every Cracker Jack box

    you get a secret decoder ring, absolutely free! :-)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So, in every Cracker Jack box

      That's an excellent way to distribute them....but I really don't need that many.

    2. Robert E A Harvey
      Happy

      Re: So, in every Cracker Jack box

      CRACKERJACK!

      oh, sorry, wrong one

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Coat

        Re: So, in every Cracker Jack box

        Well of course. It's not Friday and it's not 5 o' clock...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: So, in every Cracker Jack box

          5 o'clock??? you tuned in 5 minutes late!

          1. jake Silver badge

            Firesign Theater was way ahead of their time (was:Re: So, in every Cracker Jack box)

            Rocky: Good afternoon, Mister .. Danger. I'm Rocky .. Rococo.

            Nick: Thanks half-pint. You just saved me a lot of investigative work.

            Rocky: Maybe yes, maybe no ... Do you know what (rustle of brown paper bag) this is?

            Nick(thinking): I had to think for a minute. What cool game was he playing?

            Nick(speaking): Uh, that's a brown paper bag.

            Rocky: That's correct, now look inside, Mr. Danger. (paper rustle) What do you see?

            Nick: That's easy. That's a pickle.

            Rocky: Very good. Now, I think you're ready for… this!

            Nick: Why, that's nothing but a two-bit ring from a Cracker Back Jox.

            Rocky: I'll sell it to you for five thousand dollars.

            Nick: Huh? What kind of chump do you take me for?

            Rocky: First class!

            ---time passes---

            Back to today ... Google is attempting to be Rocky. Selling cracker-back-jox rings.

  5. Robert E A Harvey

    and counting

    Will there be one really special one that controls all the others?

  6. Simon Buttress

    No Lord of the Rings jokes yet?

    See title

    1. LaeMing

      Re: No Lord of the Rings jokes yet?

      Well...

      You can only dispose of old ones by chucking them down a volcano. It's in the EULA.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Steps..

    So how long before we all get a tag IN our ring!?

    Humans like sitting down, the connected chair cometh I reckon.

    Ive is at it right now.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Steps..

      "Humans like sitting down, the connected chair cometh I reckon.

      Ive is at it right now."

      It'll be a pile 'o shite then.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Steps..

      'So how long before we all get a tag IN our ring!?"

      Ooooh, ouch!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Good news, bad news.

    Good news: I have a ring to provide two-factor authentication.

    Bad news: It's not on one of my fingers.

    I keep getting called into HR when I log in every morning - something about workplace violations....

  9. Graham O'Brien
    Devil

    Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

    (16) It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, (17) so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name

    So much for e-commerce then. If I believed in a literal interpretation of Revelation I'd be feeling very very uncomfortable. More so, later, when someone suggests implanting it in the hand rather than wearing it on the finger. Fortunately I don't. At least not yet.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Aye

      The ring could be used in conjunction with the bar code on your forehead. The first recipients of the bar code and the Ring of Google can be the jobless. The rest will follow.

      (urgently ducks and makes for the nearest cover)

    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      WTF?

      Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

      "(16) It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, (17) so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name"

      I've often wondered if shrooms grow in the Middle East.

      I think they probably do.

      But let Google into my personal business. F**k off.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @John Smith 19 (was: Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?)

        "I've often wondered if shrooms grow in the Middle East."

        I'm sure they do, but syphilis does, too. Read the original Koine Greek version of Revelation, and it's painfully obvious that it's the rantings of a brain damaged by syphilis describing what's going on in the narrow view of the street out side the cell of (probably) John the Baptist, when imprisoned on Patmos.

        Thank gawd/ess for antibiotics, no?

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: @John Smith 19 (was: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?)

          "Read the original Koine Greek version of Revelation, and it's painfully obvious that it's the rantings of a brain damaged by syphilis "

          I think I'll have to take your word on that one.

          Mind you a dose of incurable syphilis has inspired many a piece of religious and philosophical thought.

          Nietzsche is the obvious one but I'm sure there are a few more.

          I'd also bet a few of the parables of various holy books could also sound like the come down from an almighty bender. Who hasn't "talked to god on the white telephone" on occasion?

          "Thank gawd/ess for antibiotics, no?"

          True but in these dangerous times I never go in without a raincoat on.

      2. dogged
        Boffin

        Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

        I've often wondered if shrooms grow in the Middle East.

        They certainly grow on Patmos, which is where St John the Divine drooled his frothing prophecies to a series of scribes.

        1. jake Silver badge
          Pint

          Damn, damn, damn, damn. (was: Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?)

          John the Apostle, not John the Baptist.

          That'll teach me to post without proofreading and comprehending my own typo(e)ing.

          Mea culpa. This round's on me :-)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

      Whereas I do.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @AC 00:26 (was: Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?_

        You do ... uh ... what, AC? Without further context, all I can guess is that you let google into your personal business. May I ask why? Seems foolhardy, to me..

    4. Amorous Cowherder
      Pint

      Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

      They had just finished the final proof so they all got off their heads on the Friday night. Next morning John is the only one left and he gets a call from the publisher saying they need a closer for the book. Still off his face on shooms, he finishes the book off for a laugh. There's a work experience person in the office early on the Monday morning who doesn't bother reading John's demented rantings and sends it to the printers proof unread!

      Shame they forgot to print the final page in the bible, the one that reads "All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

    5. jon 72
      Windows

      Re: Rev 13:16-17 a bit closer?

      I don't have any faith in literal translations of that source document but...

      The way society is presently organised if you don't have money in the hand you certainly have it on the brain.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just like dongles a hardware device just cuts out the casual criminals.

    Ever piece of hardware or technology has a flaw, look at those RSA fobs that were all the rage, someone found a flaw in those.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Microsoft Passport Mk2. Nobody will go for it, a single point of failure isn't good. It's why those "login with Facebook" things are never used for shopping sites.

  12. cs94njw
    FAIL

    I hate all this OTP authentication stuff. I'm trying to avoid it on my banking account (Sort Code: 10 20 30, Acc: 12345678) - I don't want to have to locate a ring/card/calculator before logging in. And it means I'm buggered if I go away and leave it at home.

    Internet based banking should give the benefit that it doesn't matter where you are. *grumble*

    1. Shanghai Tom
      Devil

      This magical ring will work on my Android tablet too ? oh no, Google designed it without a USB port

      All operating systems that run a browser ? yeah, heard that tripe before too.

      Oh no, my phone doesn't have a USB port / Oh No, my phone isn't running windows NT V8

      Get real guys...

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        This magical ring will work on my Android tablet too ? oh no, Google designed it without a USB port

        Google haven't really designed the tablets, some are LG, some ASUS, IIRC. Many Android devices do have a USB host port, disguised as the standard microUSB port- that's why microUSB has 5 pins instead of USB A's 4: shorting the extra pin to ground tells the tablet to act as a host, so that thumb sticks, card readers and keyboards can be plugged in. See USB OTG

        That said, one of the LG-built Nexus devices won't do it all, another needs persuasion.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Sort Code: 10 20 30, Acc: 12345678

      I hope that was yours, or thanks to me some smuck's now got a direct debit set up for kinkylesbianstreamingvideos.com set up.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    One Ring to find them,

    One Ring to bring them all, And in the darkness bind them.

  14. Eugene Crosser
    Thumb Up

    Plus-one to the author for using the term "criminal hackers".

    Another plus-one for the subtitle..

  15. Steve Button Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    SMS code = good. Google Authenticator app = better.

    If you use Google apps then you really should put the Google Authenticator app onto your smart phone, and then you'll still be able to 2-step authenticate when you don't have mobile signal. Does everyone here know about this already? I've been using this for over a year now, and while still not perfect I feel much safer than the rest of the crowd.

    1. Rob

      Re: SMS code = good. Google Authenticator app = better.

      I was wondering why the writer of this piece hadn't mentioned the App which already provides a time limited code.

      Same here I have been using it for about a year, after looking at my Google dashboard and everything it's collected about me I think it would be madness not to have a 2 step auth on my account (of course some would say it madness letting Google have all that info in the first place and it's only of use to advertisers which I ignore/miss anyway). Of course the whole issue of if my phone gets stolen or lost is still there but I've made sure I have remote wipe enabled/available.

    2. Deebster

      Re: SMS code = good. Google Authenticator app = better.

      I keep some backup codes in my wallet so I don't need to have a functioning phone at all.

  16. AVee
    Devil

    Let them have one finger...

    ...and they will take your whole hand.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Big Brother

      Re: Let them have one finger...

      "..and they will take your whole hand."

      For starters.

  17. Aoyagi Aichou

    Oh Google...

    If you used pseudo-random number generator you would have no such troubles. But noooo, they always have to find a way to spy on people or something, be it their personal cell phone number, distinctive ring...

  18. Otto von Humpenstumpf
    Thumb Up

    I don't know...

    I think it's definitely a step forward from easy-to-guess passwords, and passwords used across multiple sites...

    I'm not naive enough to suggest that it's the ultimate solution, but I can see those things, potentially in a number of form factors (e.g., finger ring as suggested in the article, key fob, USB stick, etc.), being a solution.

    I could potentially see this being the killer app for NFC that everybody has been waiting for -- not pay-by-bonk, but login-by-bonk; NFC receiver in your phone / laptop / PC keyboard / mouse, and when you need to login, just bonk.

    If you incorporated it into a keyboard or mouse, you could simply replace your old one, and not have another piece or USB gadget to connect to your laptop / PC.

    1. codefu
      Thumb Up

      Re: I don't know...

      Hey Otto, good news - that's exactly what we have developed at Hoverkey and we're very glad that people are starting to realise the what a great idea it is to authenticate on a mobile device via NFC! And it's all done with proper crypto & stuff. Now if we can just get Google's attention...

  19. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    How many rings to rule them all?

    One for each board member

    So, that is the LOTR joke settled

    Sorry, couldn't resist

    Mine is the one with the three volume edition

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ringo

    Quite a few people never wear rings to prevent nasty machinery ripping your fingers off.

    So that would be most engineers.

  21. Arachnoid

    Finger print scanner or face recognition might work in a similar fashion if a tad less than 100% reliable first time but at least you wont forget those on your way out the door.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    finger in the pie

    for google, like with self-driving cars. Why haven't they patented the idea yet? Or is it, that a ring, for being round-cornered, pretty much everywhere, has been patented by you-know-who already?

    Or is the the folks who made that Tolkien movie about 3 rings or something?

  23. andy 45
    FAIL

    The end of anonymous internetting?

    Is this Google trying to bring about the end of anonymous surfing/blogging etc?

    I think this is a dangerous road to go down, especially if you live in a country where the government makes you disappear for your political views.

    I dont like what Google have been doing these last few years.

  24. Gil Grissum
    FAIL

    Sure

    Kinda like how Microsoft REALLY wants you to log into your Windows 8 PC with your Microsoft LIVE account? Don't think so. I'm happy with system authentication on my PC, Mac, Phone, and Tablet at present. Won't be signing up for this "ring on the finger" nonsense. It's daft. Criminals will just steal your ring to get your identity. Haven't these geniuses even figured that out??

  25. Zog The Undeniable
    Mushroom

    Not good enough

    I want a ring like that of Ming The Merciless, that generates earthquakes, tidal waves and - er - hot hail on obscure planets in the SK system. Or just Dunstable, I'm easy.

  26. Return To Sender
    Pirate

    Urrkk.

    If the idea of Google's ring on your finger seems iffy, just wait until the Internet of Things gets to personal health monitors, with all that yummy data. Google won't be able to resist; we can tell you your diet's crap 'cos we've got our finger on your ring...

  27. Pirate Dave Silver badge
    Pirate

    A great* philosopher and poet once said...

    It's just a ring on your finger,

    when there's time on your hands.

    *- for some small values of "great"

  28. Peddler

    To close your Google account...

    all you have to do is travel to Mordor and toss the ring into a volcano.

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