Jedi
Jedi Force-talkers, duh!
The Galactic Empire has welcomed the Obama administration’s decision not to build a Death Star. In an press release issued by the Imperial Centre on Coruscant (aka the Star Wars blog), the Empire labels earth a “tiny, aggressive planet” and says the petition calling for a Death Star to be built were “bellicose demands”. The …
Because the galaxy is both a long long time ago AND far far away, a message sent via non-relativistic means then and there would reach us here here and now now.
Just requires some Force precognition to look into the future to know to send it.
(I can't believe I typed that to be honest.)
Owing to the fact that the Universe is actually a projection of a 2-dimensional hologram, the galaxy far away and long ago is in fact very close indeed.
Unfortunately for them, owing to the effects of cosmic inflation, said galaxy is a small object in the asteroid belt.
(I am beginning to wonder if modern cosmology bears about as much relation to reality as does Jain mythology).
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They give one of the reasons as "Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"
Well, one of the benefits of having let the Empire build first, is we now know the major flaw and can design a fix for it.
Perhaps a vent cover with a few bends in it?
The was I time when I figured Bill Gates would lead the way to constructing a fully operational battle station, but alas, he's into helping people and all that BS now. Thankfully Larry Ellison might fit the bill (with his own island, mega yacht, and all), if anyone can be convinced to put down the first DeathStar payment it'd be him. Possibly hire SpaceX as the main contractor, seeing as they are already heading for the "dark side" with those new military jobs....
"“It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire."
Response without a Death Star:
Grovel, grovel, grovel, apologise, etc.
Response with a Death Star:
"Like we give a shit what you think, we've got a Death Star."
That's because the only report they got was from those who visited England...
The editor visiting Japan had the fish.
The one who visited Australia was attacked by sheep...
The one who visited Germany only sent one word back - Octoberfest - and no one really understood what he meant.
The one who ended up in Las Vegas had a bit of a problem with the dice and had to hock his equipment...
And we all know what happened to the unlucky being who ended up in the Sauna World Championship in Finland...
Towel in hand, book in pocket. Got any peanuts?
For a long time now I have noted the close symbiotic relationship between Hollywood and the US politicians, military and State Departments.
Americans seem to actually BELIEVE films. So the military actually try to create, for instance, beam weapons BECAUSE these are the kind of weapons featured in Space Opera. As Hollywood creates new genres of Bad Guy movies, public opinion swings against the countries thus depicted, and the politicians oblige by labeling them as an 'Axis of Evil'. Film stars even become presidents!
It is completely in character for the public to clamour for an orbiting 'Death Star'. And you can be sure that the military will be looking to their budget proposals to see if this can be included. There will be no consideration given to whether there is a use for such a weapon - once it has been made I am sure a suitable target can be picked......
You're right
Batman - The Dark Knight Rises was the single most unbelievable piece of puerile tosh I have ever had to watch because my family wanted to. The plot, such as it was, seemed to be trying to link Occupy with fusion-bomb wielding nutters, and suggest that having criminals around the place with assault rifles was OK because one injured policemen could take them out with a pistol. And that is just for starters.
Unfortunately, the country which currently seems to be deepest in the sleep of reason really is the one with all the weapons. There are going to be tears before bedtime for the human race.
Americans seem to actually BELIEVE films.
That's because the intelligence of an American is inversely proportional to the volume and frequency with which he or she spouts his or her beliefs. In other words smart Americans quietly enjoy the movie and then goes home to have dinner with the family and stupid ones come out of the theater yelling to everyone who'll listen about how X new technology depicted in the movie is really cool and going to be deployed to our troops next week.
Honestly, given how American humor works I'm guessing that most of the people who signed that petition were at least smiling in amusement as they did so. Some were probably outright chuckling.
Thank you Dodgy, I am glad I am not the only one who feels that way. Living here, I have to deal with people who watch a movie with Matt Damon and all of the sudden they are experts and quoting him to no end. They really do believe movies, no joke.
It happens elsewhere I suppose, but it feels good hearing someone else acknowledge that.
Not one second spent sifting through data on their own, but if the silver screen says so than it is fact.