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back to article Reg boffins blow lid on sheepsecs

Many, many moons ago, Reg boffin Lucy Sherriff provocatively stated that the "comet-tailed" red giant Mira was thundering across the heavens at "roughly 150,000 times" faster than the speed of the average sheep. This prompted lively debate about just how fast sheep might in fact travel in the vacuum of space, and Vulture …

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  1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    and the music...

    ...sounds like from a porn flick involving Welsh men and sheep.

    On a serious note, what's the point of all this? It's like you wanted to determine the exact speed of 1m/s. The Speed of Sheep in Vacuum is just there, it's a constant, an immovable fact and all other means of measuring speed have to adjust to that.

    I need some tea.

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    1. frank ly
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      Coat

      Re: and the music...

      " ...it's a constant, an immovable fact ..."

      There are variations depending on the region of space in which the sheep is travelling. The effects of dark matter entanglement in the wool can result in a significant reduction of maximum velocity. If you'd studied sheep as closely as I have, you'd know that dark matter entanglement is widespread and can be a problem.

      (The woollen one with dark bits entangled in it.)

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    2. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
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      Re: and the music...

      Yes, you do.

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  2. Pen-y-gors

    But

    what is the speed of a toy sheep in a Dyson vacuum cleaner?

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    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
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      Coat

      Re: But

      Toy sheep? A Dyson should be able to suck up a real one. Or a lamb. Or at least kittens.

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      1. richardcox13
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        Go

        Re: But

        > A Dyson should be able to suck up a real one. Or a lamb. Or at least kittens.

        Which leads to the question: what is the speed of a kitten in a Dyson?

        Should be a little more of an everyday speed that a sheep in a vacuum? (The outer space kind rather than cleaner kind of course.)

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  3. TRT Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Pen-y-gors: You've forgotten...

    to take into account the model of vacuum employed in your study.

    Sheep placed into the DC 39,40,41,47 and 50 will all exhibit massive acceleration due to the gravitational forces caused by the close proximity of a Dyson(tm) sphere.

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  4. Arachnoid
    Thumb Down

    Yes all very good but wont the sheep move exponentially faster as it approaches a black hole?

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    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
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      The maximum velocity is a definitive figure. However, the effect on time of the gravitational field of a black hole would, of course, affect the speed as perceived by the observer.

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  5. Trollslayer
    Thumb Up

    It's Friday

    It's El Reg.

    It's brilliant!

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  6. Code Monkey

    I'm no physicist, but ...

    How is wooldrag a factor in a vacuum? Surely as frictionless an environment as there can be

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    1. richardcox13
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      Re: I'm no physicist, but ...

      Vacuum is not empty.

      All that quantum fluctuation (where the closer you look the more noisy it becomes) for a start.

      Plus the odd bit of dust or gas.

      (The vacuum used in The LHC contains considerably less matter than in inter-planetary space.)

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    2. Lucy Sherriff 1
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      Re: I'm no physicist, but ...

      Wooldrag is to do with quantum thingumies. Most things are. :)

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  7. FSM

    150000 * 0 = ?

    I'm not sure I've ever seen a sheep move. Maybe it meant to say the speed that the sheep eats at?

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    1. Rob Carriere
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      Re: 150000 * 0 = ?

      You need to get out of your car more. Sheep will happily ignore cars barreling down on them, but will equally happily run ahead of walkers for several miles (until the one in front happens to leave the path and the rest follow).

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  8. jon 72
    Boffin

    Flawed Research

    At sea level the velocity of a vacuum wrapped sheep is limited by the maximum speed of the supermarket truck carrying it.

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  9. Marvin the Martian
    Headmaster

    I'm apalled.

    Why the persistent showing of a GOAT when talking about SHEEP? They're not even ovine, they're in another genus of the goat-antelope family.

    This is supposed to be a boffinry video! Thanks for ruining my weekend!

    Yours disgustedly,

    TB Wells

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    1. TRT Silver badge
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      Re: I'm apalled.

      Whatever floats your boat, mate. ;)

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  10. Arachnoid

    The maximum velocity is a definitive figure

    Within Earths atmosphere possibly but in a compressed magnetic field produced by a black hole that even distorts the path of light maybe not.

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    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
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      Re: The maximum velocity is a definitive figure

      Evidently, this need further investigation. We should establish a conference to discuss the matter.

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  11. Schick
    Coat

    Bugger the sheep ...

    The vid is ruined.

    ... Why can't Lucy lyp sync - - lip sink - - lip synk -- oh forget it.

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    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
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      Re: Bugger the sheep ...

      Looks fine to me? What's the problem?

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  12. Alasdair Russell
    Joke

    Approximations

    Surely this solution is only valid for a spherical sheep in trans-stellar space.

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