back to article One more try: Metro apps are now 'Windows Store' apps

Another week, another chapter in what must be one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing: what to call the blocky, touch-centric apps designed for the new Windows 8 Start Screen, formerly known as Metro-style apps. What we are meant to call them from now on, it seems, are "Windows Store" apps …

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  1. jim 45

    " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

    Give me a break. The history of computing includes more than 50 years. This colossal 'disaster' will be forgotten in another 2 weeks.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

      Poor things, they are really struggling trying to get the name right.

      It needs to be catchy and it needs to be memorable it needs to be sharp, not a huge mouthful or it will fail.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

        One wonders why they bother. It doesn't matter if something does escape into the wild with the in-house codename or they spend ages listening to whalesong thinking up an a remotely interesting name, it's soon bludgeoned into the "Microsoft/Windows" <whatever> "Software/Server" formula by version 2.0. The only exception is Silverlight but then again that's being quietly forgotten.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

      Was the worst marketing disaster in the history of computer the Osbourne Effect, or maybe it was Windows Vista, or maybe something else?

      Metro is just one element of the Windows H8 launch, which is nicely positioning itself to be Vista 2.

      1. harimanjaro

        Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

        I think it was probably Wang Care.

        1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

          Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

          Siemens, Staines.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

          Ha, yes, I can remember having to call Wang Large Systems Support, well, because I had a large system to support.

      2. SoupDragon

        Re: " one of the worst branding and marketing disasters in the history of computing"

        +1 for calling it Vista 2

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          RE: "+1 for calling it Vista 2"

          I've actually been calling it Windows ME 3.

          Seems everyone has forgotten about *that* calamity though.

          1. Avatar of They
            Thumb Down

            Re: RE: "+1 for calling it Vista 2"

            I haven't, you are not alone. I call it ME 3 as Vista 2 is Windows 7, it is what Vista should have been.

            I do however agree Win8 is shaping up as ME, something that has no true identity in the market place or even in Microsoft.

            Microsoft store apps? I used to download them on my HTC wizard (vario 2) from the microsoft store under Windows mobile 5 & 6.

            Hardly new.

  2. P. Lee
    Facepalm

    Over?

    Can these "Start Screen" style apps can be on a desktop W8 computer... never having been anywhere near a Windows Store?

    What about going to one of MS' retail outlets and trying to buy Office? "Er well it is an app from a Windows Store but it isn't a Windows Store App..."

  3. James Loughner
    Big Brother

    I for one

    I for one welcome our Window Store App overlords

    1. Danny 14

      Re: I for one

      rather than apps on the windows store that arent windows store apps?

  4. HCV
    Facepalm

    From now on, the items formerly known as "chairs" and "tables" will be referred to as "Ikea merchandise." Pull up an Ikea merchandise to the Ikea merchandise and let's talk.

  5. Peter 39

    at least for this week.

    Next wek is coming next week.

    What new name will we have then, kiddies ??

    1. Barry Dingle

      Re: at least for this week.

      Legacy Windows Store apps (no longer supported).

  6. Peter 39

    Ikea catalog[ue]

    "From now on, the items formerly known as "chairs" and "tables" will be referred to as "Ikea merchandise."

    I wonder if it lists a "Ballmer chair" ?? What's that in Swedish, I wonder? Thrön Akros ?

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      Thrön Akros

      grone.

    2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Ikea catalog[ue]

      Alternatively as

      Bålmer Prøjektil

      1. tempemeaty

        Re: Ikea catalog[ue]

        HAHAHAHA!

        1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

          Re: Ikea catalog[ue]

          "HAHAHAHA!"

          No that is a lamp, not a chair

  7. bdam
    Unhappy

    Everything's topsy turvy these days

    Apple just launched a turkey where previously they'd been doing rather well in that department.

    Microsoft always had turkeys but salvaged them by spending zillions in marketing. As the article shows, that''s now turned into a fiasco.

    Nokia ... well, you get the idea.

  8. Andy ORourke
    Joke

    A Suggestion

    WAPS maybe?

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Re: A Suggestion

      Store Products from the Eighth Windows, or SPEW for short.

    2. Mr McGoo

      Re: A Suggestion

      Alternatively, W-Sapp, pronounced "Wassuuuppppp"?

      That would inject some Apple-like chilled out coolness into the name. ;)

  9. John P

    Correct me if I', wrong, but doesn't WIndows 8 Enterprise give network admins the ability to sideload "Windows Store" apps, so you could have a Windows Store app that didn't come from the Windows Store?

    1. Kevin Johnston

      Aha

      so a Sideloaded app would be a SLAP?

      no?

  10. Fihart

    Modern or Modem.

    Something about clonky rebranding process puts me in mind of struggling to log on with one of little beepy boxes we used before broadband.

    In a way says it all.

    Microsoft, your day is over.

    Now clear off and stop hanging about like an ex-boyfriend.

    1. TheOtherHobbes

      Re: Modern or Modem.

      This has been another message from 2012's World of Tech Fail:

      MS - a blocky Lego UI that no one really wants with an undefined name.

      Apple - a new phone that's just like the old phone, but with moar phoniness. (Let's just say there is reason to believe Maps in iOS 6 is *so* not going to be a win in the UK.)

      Nokia - burning.

      HP - falling.

      Yahoo! - flailing.

      Google - boring.

      Amazon are doing okay. Everyone else - what happened to all that fun cool shiny?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I agree with the comments below

    1. CmdrX3

      I agree with the comment above

  12. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Not very wise

    They're giving the impression that anything you see on the start screen could have a price tag. That's a long long way away from the concept of an OS you can buy that does everything a basic user would want, but which can be enhanced if you're prepared to pay.

    The Linux version would be the 'Free App Store' - and FrAppStore is a much easier mouthful.

    1. Nuke
      Holmes

      @JustaKOS - Re: Not very wise

      They're giving the impression that anything you see on the start screen SHOULD have a price tag.

      That's corrected for you.

  13. SpitefulGOD

    Yawn

    That it all

  14. fandom

    "this sordid saga is finally drawing to a close."

    I hope so, we need to keep the space available for the iPhone 6 rumours.

  15. Paul Shirley

    I think I'll just carry on calling it Metro. Might keep alive the memory of this whole sorry clusterfuck.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not reading between the lines

    <snip> claiming it was never anything more than a code name for use by developers, customers, and the media alike </snip>

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What are Microsoft playing at?

    "Metro Apps" - Fantastic name really like it. Crisp modern name easy to remember fits in with UI

    "Windows 8 Apps" - Stupid name "Windows 8 Apps" that run on Windows RT which _isn't_ windows 8, but it runs their apps?!

    "Modern Apps" - If an apps been in the store for three years when does it stop becoming modern? Stupid name

    "Windows Store Apps" - The worst out of them all unfortunately. Some basic users will really struggle to get their heads around the difference between the Windows Desktop apps and the Windows Store Apps......

    Anyway I remember when it was Programs and not apps. Oh a quick look on my Windows 7 machine still harks back to the outdated terminology of Programs.......

    They should have just paid off whoever owned the name Metro

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What are Microsoft playing at?

      "They should have just paid off whoever owned the name Metro"

      Does anybody own the name Metro? Far too generic I would think.

  18. Paul Shirley

    The German Metro Group refused. With no dependency on Microsoft or Microsoft products, MS couldn't bully them into it or afford to buy them to get the rights. Just hope they threw money at the UK Metro newspaper before abandoning the trademark appropriation ;)

    1. El Andy
      Facepalm

      I still don't know why they didn't just go with "Start Screen apps". Which would have conveyed the point without confusingly overloaded terms.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. tempemeaty

      True. With no dependency on MS software the German Metro Group would have the power of self determination. There's a lesson to be learned here...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In all honesty, I really think that MS should remove the windows name from its phone products. It seems to have a nerdy negative connotation. If it really wants to go for the commercial market, it should do something akin to the XBox.

  20. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
    Happy

    A bonus prize will be awarded

    to the first person who finds an instance on a Microsoft web site referring to a "Paris Windows Store Station", or similar find-and-replace cock-up.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can they just stop calling everything Windows? the WP OS doesn't even have any concept of a window.

    They didn't call the XBox "Windows Games Console", so why call their smartphone Windows Phone?

  22. Dave 62
    FAIL

    I still can't figure out how "Windows Store Apps" are any different from regular programs. Is notepad going to become an app? Are they like the sidebar things, weather and such.. what about calculator, that's a program right? How about charmap?

    They really need to stop calling it Windows8 and call it Windows4Tab or something because the whole not-metro idea is completely s**t for desktops and they seem intent on releasing it while Windows 7 is still slowly being adopted.

  23. shade82000

    A suggestion

    How about "Windows apps that dont have a window?"

    Or just Apps then...

    OK, maybe not Apps, they might get sued by Apple

    Might aswell just call them blanks then, or nothing, or just " "

  24. Jolyon Smith
    Pint

    The Prize for Worst Marketing and Branding Disaster goes to... Embarcadero

    For the brazen and staggeringly dumb attempt to introduce a clause in the EULA for Delphi Professional forbidding it's use for creating applications that accessed remote databases or N-tier applications.

    http://www.deltics.co.nz/blog/?p=1097

    They had to back-track when the Delphi community revolted - for many people this was the last straw and a lot of people are now actively looking at alternatives to Delphi, of which there are plenty.

    So Embarcadero not only didn't get to do what they wanted but they are going to still pay a large chunk of the price that would have resulted from this action HAD they gone ahead in the first place, in terms of the loss of face and trust and condemnation that subsequently came their way.

    Once upon a time El Reg used to report on new Delphi releases. These days even moves of dubious legality to try to screw the existing user base doesn't even warrant a mention.

    A sad, sad, sign of the times.

    Mine's, the one with the FREE Pascal compiler in the pocket.

    Or the one with the Pascal compiler that can produce .NET, Java Bytecode or LLVM runtimes from within a VisualStudio shell.

    Or the ... oh you get the idea

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