keyboard please ...
and wipes for the monitor.
That is a contender for the best headline of 2012
A species of monkey previously unknown to science has been discovered in Africa: and boffins say that it has an "extensive" bright blue bottom which rivals that of the largest and most colourful known monkeys on Earth. The lesula monkey. Credit: PLoS ONE Feeling blue The new monkey was first sighted by scientists in 2007, …
The pictures of the 'blue' area, in the linked article appear to be overexposed and almost white (or is it my screen?). I was promised a blue arse and I feel disappointed.
P.S. I can't think why anyone would be offended by those pictures. It's an animal in it's natural state. If there is anyone who's unaware that male primates have external genitalia, then it's about time they learned.
potential IT angles everywhere
They're an endangered group, so naturally will team up with another endagered species and get a Facebook page. IBM may sponsor them. IBM may introduce them to their 2nd Life island. Furries may then buy BAM skins causing outrage in the Daily Mail with stories about the fur trade, rough trade or just furries. The Guardian may suggest the Conservatives adopt it the BAM as a new mascot. Well funded journalists may venture out to ask natives if BAM>Bacon. This may require forensic IT to recover recordings that may show the last words recorded as being 'long pig tastes better'. Fundraising campaigns may be thwarted by porn filters blocking the BAM's distinctive feature, or hijacked by smurf porn producers to bypass those filters.
OK, here's an IT angle for you:
All we need now is to find a monkey with a green ass. We collect 6912000 monkeys - 2304000 red-assed monkeys, 2304000 green assed monkeys, and 2304000 blue assed monkeys. We arrange them as a 1920x1200 grid with one each of the red, green, and blue assed monkeys. We train them to moon (or not moon) on cue.
and then
MONKEYVISION!
Do we house them on the moon too?
Ack. It'll be bought up by media moguls or Cola-Cola corp or some such and used to beam more advertising at us. You'll be there with your arm round your girl under the stars, glance up at the romantic full moon above only to be greeted by an advert for Durex or Skyns or what-have-you...
I can see the reg headline now...
Mad men monopolise moon-mooning monkey matrix.
It'll all end in tears you know.
"The challenge for conservation now in Congo is to intervene before losses become definitive," say John and Terese Hart, who led the investigation team, in tinned quotes.
(@El Reg: Nice comma you've got there. That sentence could so easily have gone wrong.)
Wishing no disrespect to the noble aim of keeping these critters alive in their natural state, would it not be prudent to catch a few whilst they are still numerous and stick samples in a frozen zoo? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frozen_zoo) It may be defeatist to assume that most of the interesting animals on this planet are doomed in the near future, but you'll thank me in 2100 when they are gone, and even more so at some point in the future when we can trust ourselves enough to bring them back.
Fail.
Humans, as a species themselves, continuously underestimate their ignorance. The boundaries of human (in this case Western Science) knowledge need to be explicitly considered at all times. A "new" primate species in 2012 is a classic example that proves the point. Sometimes...
They. Just. Don't. Know. (TM)
Dunno about ignorant - we are pretty curious as monkeys go and like to find new stuff and give it funny names before we destroy it (usually). Bunch of westerners 'find' (possibly first recorded sighting by westerner') monkey with coloured bum and balls and are surprised. They are 'new' to us but coloured monkey bums are not new to evolution.
'Terrible Lizard' is really naff when compared to 'Blue Arsed Monkey'.
where is the Homer icon for 'look a the funny monkey!'?
that women slap on the red lippy to make their faces resemble a baboon's arse in heat.
Ah yes:
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2012/04/red_genitalia_study_testing_the_sexually_salient_hypothesis.html
Well, now we can expand the hypothesis to cover goth chicks.
Paris, because it's obvious.
Given the rude word arse liberally speckled over your article, not showing the picture is a bit coy...or perhaps it was an attempt not to embarrass a female monkey.
Sexism in action? Or some subtle form of psychological transfer? Where's Freud when you need him?
The picture would make a great wallpaper!
GMO Smurf Prototype class 1??
All experiments go to crap in the first stages, followed by many balls ups ( Blue balls is a well documented phenomenon)
It only adds to weight of argument from the anti GMO quarter, that these types of experiments always end arse up.
Maybe this is the missing link in evolution? Monkey with blue cold arse evolving to Man in pants??? ie Man did come out of Africa after having African cold bum syndrome?
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I must have missed that memo.
Note to editors. It is a fucking monkeys butt for chrissake!.
If we are at the point where we are too precious to even witness the nether regions of an animal then I have to say that I am terribly disappointed, not only in The Register, but in humanity in general.
Should I be grateful that you managed to muster up enough courage to post a picture at all without Photoshopping some trousers on the buggers first?
Another genius that took lots of colloidal silver lives nearby. Same colour as Stan Jones - see article.
http://santacruz.hubpages.com/hub/Smurfs-Among-Us-Real-People-with-Blue-Skin
He has a scar across his nose, where the skin grew back - a slightly tanned pink... but that REALLY contrasts the blueness of his skin in general.
Uhhhhh UFO's, pyramids and levitation through mind powers "please".
Back to the blue arsed monkeys.
Family newspaper? My big hairy blue arse!
We want big blue arses!
Whadda we Want?
Big Blue Arses!
When do we want 'em?
NOW!
In fact, I think this would be the perfect time for a little logo change. To reflect this momentous moment in scientific discovery... I give you, the blue-arsed-vulture.