back to article British boffin builds cool maser after argument with wife

An obscure Japanese research paper, some second-hand equipment on eBay, and a British scientist's argument with his wife have become the catalysts for creating the world's first room-temperature microwave laser. It's also around 100 million times more powerful than current models. Masers (Microwave Amplification by Stimulated …

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  1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

    Mount a couple on SpaceX's Dragon capsule and we can invade Mars properly.

    1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
      Boffin

      Well

      Have an arugment with the Mrs first then fire them off.

      It seems this yields better results.

  2. auburnman
    Joke

    Meanwhile in America...

    a number of generals and admirals all have suddenly raging stiffies for no reason they can fathom...

    1. Haku

      Re: Meanwhile in America...

      Real Genius - Operation Crossbow

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Meanwhile in America...

        I wondered why I haven't seen Mrs Oxborrow around for a while.

  3. mhoulden
    Terminator

    He'll be inventing a total perspective vortex if he has any more arguments with his wife....

    1. Arctic fox
      Happy

      Well I'm hoping she'll just whisper the word...........

      .........Phaser in his ear next time.

    2. Richard 81

      "In an infinite universe, the one thing sentient life cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion."

      1. JDX Gold badge

        Very good, I hoped someone else would see that connection.

    3. The First Dave
      FAIL

      IF he invents it _for_ her, then there isn't much point, is there?

  4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Can they be made waterproof?

    Can they me made small enough to fit on the frikkin' sharks?

    This is seriously good news though.

    1. Mephistro
      Joke

      Re: Can they be made waterproof?

      Sorry, but that won't work. The sharks would cook themselves and then explode. Just like gerbils!

      1. Quinch

        Re: Can they be made waterproof?

        That's okay, we have lots of them.

        What? What do you mean endangered?

        1. Miek
          Coat

          Re: Can they be made waterproof?

          Nah, there's plenty. Just look at them piled high on that Chinese fishing boat there.

  5. Turtle

    100 Million

    "The results exceeded expectations, with maser emissions around 100 million times stronger than anything achieved before."

    To me this fairly -screams- "measurement error". (Not that it is, but that's what comes to mind.)

    1. Crisp
      Mushroom

      Re: 100 Million

      That's probably what they were thinking before they set of the first atom bomb.

      "No.... It can't be that powerful, surely!"

      ... Bang ...

      "Bloody Hell!"

      1. jason 7
        Happy

        Re: 100 Million

        When I hear such figures I always think of Kent Brockman reporting on the Kamp Krusty episode.

        "Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together. "

      2. JDX Gold badge

        Re: 100 Million

        No, that was why they invented it :(

        1. Gordon 10

          Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

          dont know if this is true or not as I got it second hand but its a great story anyways.

          Apparently before the first atom bomb test Oppenheimer and the gang had a betting pool going on the effects. It was evenly split between those that believed the test would ignite the atmosphere and extinguish all life as we know it and those that thought it wouldnt.

          Probably not true but conjours up a great mental image of boffins sweating bullets...

          1. DanDanDan
            Mushroom

            Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

            Just to burst your bubble, based on the assumption that they're at least slightly smart, this story is not true.

            Mainly because betting on whether or not you're going to be alive to collect your winnings is stupid.

            1. Gav
              Boffin

              Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

              Only stupid if you're the one betting you won't be alive. The one betting they will be alive wins either way. Alive and they win the bet, dead and they don't have to honour the bet. Just the slight downside of being dead, but if that's going to happen, it happens whether they have bet on the outcome or not.

              So overall, the ones betting on dead are the stupid ones. Which has got to be good news, as you can then discount their estimations on the outcome.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

              How narrow-minded of you. There are other reasons to make wagers than to collect winnings. That's why mathematicians sometimes play the lottery, while less sophisticated minds avoid it because it's "a tax on the ignorant".

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

                I'm betting most wouldn't knowingly set up a picnic table on a motorway at midnight though ;)

                1. Dave 62
                  Mushroom

                  Re: 100 Million @ Atom Bomb

                  Depends on the Motorway, does sound like a laugh though.. these days though, nanny state and all, they'd throw away the key. How does one unknowingly do it? Sounds like a solid defence, "sorry officer, I have no idea what happened, one minute I was in the shower and then..."

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fantastic result. Can they modulate it?

    1. Jaybus

      Fantastic result. Can they modulate it?

      At this point, they can only get a single burst and haven't yet achieved CW emission, so no, not yet..

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Pint

    Historically MASERs have been used to amplify weak signals.

    They were used to amplify the first geosynchronous satellite transmissions between ground stations and AFAIK are still used for deep space signals by NASA.

    Such huge amplification offers some interesting possibilities.

    amplifier (with suitable battery) + mobile phone = hot takeaways anywhere.

    Just another small step in the rise of civilisation.

    Gentlemen we salute you.

    1. Christian Berger

      Re: Historically MASERs have been used to amplify weak signals.

      Actually the problem wasn't how much you'd amplify the signal, but how little noise you had. And MASERs cooled down to low temperatures were quite silent. A room temperature MASER would just amplify the thermal radiation of your room. That's useless for satellite communications.

      If you get the chance, get once of those cheap RF-meters used to allign satellite dishes. Connect them to a dish, misallign it, then place your hand in front of the LNB. You'll be surprised that (unless you aimed it at another satellite) the value will actually go up.

      1. Danny 14

        Re: Historically MASERs have been used to amplify weak signals.

        At these alleged amplification values

        amplifier (with suitable battery) + mobile phone = hot testicles more like.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

          The invention of a maser does not suddenly make batteries contain thousands of times more energy.

          It takes a lot of energy to heat food. My microwave would deplete my phone's battery in less than 26 seconds.

          1. Richard Taylor 2

            Re: Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

            I think you missed the "with a suitable battery" comment......

          2. JDX Gold badge

            Re: Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

            Put your balls in a microwave for 'only' 26 seconds then and let us know how you get on.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

            I would really, really like to see it start up the cooling fans, table rotation motor, magnetron, display panel if it has one and then go "peep peep peep" after 20 seconds. I'm not convinced!

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

              Is suitable battery maybe something like you would use to start a big car diesel motor with, like a Benz V8-Diesel, maybe 90+ AH ? You might actually be able to use it to power a sandwich grill instead? ;)

              1. Dave 62
                Boffin

                Re: Mobile phone.. heating food.. you've not really thought that through, have you?

                Interesting aside - about a year ago there was some talk of using lasers in the place of spark plugs. I bet some guy just thought.. why the fuck not? Benefit? Well.. it's LASERS, is that good enough? Although for everyone getting all excited I may be wrong but wouldn't a maser technically be lower energy? Like how red lasers are lower energy than green which are lower than blue? Also isn't a CO2 laser is technically a MASER in the traditional sense as it's in the microwave range? So wouldn't like.. nasers or pasers be better?

  8. tkioz

    Screw peaceful applications like communications! I want my death ray!

    1. jon 72
      Joke

      Re: want my death ray!

      Get yourself over to Brotron Labs

      youtube.com/watch?v=6hGgMPxlmJc

      brotron.com/X/gallery_EDR.html

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      @tkioz

      After a heated argument with my gf (figuring anyone could do this) I'm just left a little antagonized. I knew it couldn't be this easy, so now I want one too.

      Not having the intention to hurt said gf I'm now looking for volunteers. You sound eager enough ;-)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @tkioz

        Hey, we'll spank her, no worries. Only if it's strictly necessary, though.

    3. Jaybus

      Screw peaceful applications like communications! I want my death ray!

      Then you will want a free electron maser, rather than a solid-state maser. Those are already in production for industrial applications with power levels up to about 2 MW.

  9. Kharkov
    WTF?

    Applications?

    There's a lot of jokes about death rays and the like but seriously, what are the applications for masers?

    More accurate rangefinders? Optical scanners? Higher resolution spectographs?

    The key to significantly more information-dense radio signals?

    Or is it weapons after all? Something 747-sized to shoot down missiles? F-15-sized to shoot down directly incoming small missiles (think AMRAAM-type) and the (many) aircraft that launched them at ranges of up to 50 kilometres? Tank-sized to shoot down incoming aircraft/missiles/artillery shells? Infantry-weapon-sized to shoot, with great lethality, from ranges of 10 metres to 1 kilometre?

    1. frank ly

      Re: Applications?

      For weapons use, I think that microwaves have a problem with beam spreading over quite short distances due to the relatively large wavelength.

      Someone who knows about this will probably pass further comment soon.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Applications?

        "Someone who knows about this will probably pass further comment soon."

        Ahem. Harumph.

        No comment.

        I'm wondering what the useful applications might be. This device is pumped with a laser as opposed to incoming microwave energy. That's not going to allow it to replace the ones that NASA use in communications. And we're already quite good at generating microwave power using magnetrons, travelling wave tubes and solid state devices. I suppose that there is a potential use in radar systems - perhaps you can generate very short pulses at high power which would give you good resolution. But we've been achieving that in other ways for decades already, so even that seems to be not very likely to get the population excited.

        p.s I salute you if you got the joke, and I apologise deeply in advance

        1. npupp 1

          Re: Applications?

          you sir made me laugh!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Applications?

        well I've used and held a maser that was built in Chelmpsford. I think it was x-band so fairly compact (around 6 kilos). It was the front end for a type xxx radar system. This new much more sensitive solid state maser jobbie will prob be able to be engineered into a 50 gramme system; it's job will be to give coherent receive sensitivity far below the rf noise level. That can give rise to many things - spread spectrum covert internet/darknet (where the RF noise is high i.e thermal limited terrestrial applications) - it could well give space looking antennae (where the external RF noise level is mostly big-bang echo) a mega increase in sensitivity - i.e less satellite TX power needed, or Satellite reception easier to achieve in cars or on mobile handsets.

        This solid-state maser isn't (yet) a weapon, it's more of a boost in the receiving chain rather than transmitting, and it could scale well up to and beyond terahertz thus opening up those bands for useful fun?

        (Oh and as for the weapons "I think that microwaves have a problem with beam spreading over quite short distances due to the relatively large wavelength" the spreading is mostly solved by highlighting the target/path with freakingly powerful ultraviolet laser - the high power radiofrequencies then channel at much less than free-space-path-loss. Get used to it, directed energy is available, update your infrastructure accordingly!)

      3. Mr Temporary Handle

        Re: Applications?

        Being electro-magnetic radiation, the inverse square law is probably more relevant than beam spread issues.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Applications?

          "Being electro-magnetic radiation, the inverse square law is probably more relevant than beam spread issues."

          the inverse square law only applies to sources of radiation that are uncollimated and not coherent i.e. it doesn't apply to lasers and masers; that's why they're so useful.

    2. itzman

      Re: Applications?

      Maybe a portable EMP device to fry electronics selectively..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Applications?

        >Maybe a portable EMP device to fry electronics selectively..

        At last! My long-awaited yoof doof-doof-car-hifi killer! No more having to listen to whichever drivel if the current dance music craze blased out at 200 watts RMS from the passing chavmobiles.

        And as a bonus, it may well make the shazzas and kevins sterile. Or at least, give rise to amusing mutations(*) in their gene pool..

        (*) More so than usual. It's a pretty shallow pool usually..

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Applications?

          If it kills the car hifi, then the rest of the electronics in car would fail as well and a car crash result as a side effect ...

    3. Archibald Trumpetbeetle

      Re: Applications?

      A new generation of microwave ovens. 0 to Tasty in 0.01 seconds.

    4. Jaybus

      Re: Applications?

      The principle application is the use of hydrogen masers as master oscillators for atomic clocks.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Applications?

      I'd use it to sort out the HAM operator next door - his signals leak furiously all over my home electronics, and I'm fairly certain he's outputting far more juice than he's allowed.

      Local authorities have been quite un-interested in sorting him out, so I'm wondering what a little high-intensity boost to his incoming signal might do to his reciever..?

      1. Mr Temporary Handle
        Trollface

        Re: Applications?

        That's because they don't have the authority. Something they may have already informed you of.

        Find the right government (hint, hint) body to complain to and if he's exceeding his license limits or generating EMI which causes interference in nearby equipment he'll lose his license.

        ...Or alternatively, just break into his home and vandalise his equipment. Better still, go the whole hog as my American colleagues say, and vandalise his whole house. Pay particular attention to computers, games consoles, HiFi and TV.

        Oh, and don't forget to use his bed as a toilet.

        [/sarcasm]

      2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: HAM operator

        Alternatively, you could actually try to talk to the guy first. HAM radio hobbyists tend to have a reasonable insight into filtering out radio signals, and AFAIK they actually will get in trouble if their signals cause interference. Thus allowing the chap to sort it out before taking the bigger step would be a good start.

        You can still call the relevant gov department (no idea who that would be in your country) if that doesn't solve the problem.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: HAM operator

          Just outfit ALL your comms gear with Powerline Ethernet, make sure you use a variety of different speeds and frequencies ;)

    6. Mike Moyle
      Thumb Up

      Re: Applications?

      Microwave popcorn one kernel at a time so it's always at perfect freshness.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Applications?

        You'll need a targetting system for that. But unfortunately it will be re-tasked for the export market to target brown-skinned folks.

    7. Tapeador
      Unhappy

      Re: Applications?

      Well it's obvious what the main application is. Just as lasers have become part of our everyday lives in this way, the new high-power maser will enable a new generation of jailbird chavs to blind drivers and airline pilots with a previously un-dreamed-of level of efficiency and accuracy.

    8. roselan
      Happy

      Re: Applications?

      pop corn gun !!!

  10. rvt

    Impossbile, the guy doesnt blink!

    1. Colin Brett

      "Impossbile, the guy doesnt blink!"

      Neither does Ford Prefect. Or at least not often.

  11. Eddy Ito

    As always...

    Cherchez la femme

    1. Graham Bartlett

      Re: As always...

      Unless you're a femme already, although in that case I'm not sure "Cherchez la butch" is correct French.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As always...

        "La Femme Nikita" wasn't about Ali-G-style "feminism" you know, although maybe an interesting idea for a sequel, but, as she already had a Russian bloke's name, maybe Elton John can advise on wassup with that?

  12. MondoMan
    Headmaster

    Gotta love the Reg: "microwave laser"

    As the article was pretty unclear, does it boil down to a laser-pumped solid-state maser?

    1. wiggers
      Facepalm

      Better than the BBC's 'cousin of the laser'. Good grief...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        'cousin of the laser'

        Actually the NPL's own press release refers to it as a cousin.

        As it's still fundamentally long wavelength EM radiation, I guess it could also be described as a type of RASER, or even an ERASER?

        :-)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Cousin of The Laser and now Cock of The Walk. Well, possibly, not a home though. Prophet and honour in own land etc. Either wifey praises you for this, or get ye some tech-groupies, gosh darn it!

        Oh honey, what does it do again, what was that part about pumping and energy?

  13. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Argument with the wife?

    Everyone knows that you've got to include a shark to make a laser more effective.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Argument with the wife?

      Mr Scientist, remember, never explain, and never apologise ;) I would explain about this, but I might have to apologise for my stance ;)

      Well, unless you were the intellectual lecturer at Uni in my folks time there, who had his wife phone ahead and warn his workplace that he had clean forgot to put his britches on yet again .... before heading to work, possibly to a lecture .... :)

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    no wives were hurt in this experiment

    that's my hypothesis

  15. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    Behind every successful man..

    .. stands a woman rolling her eyes ..

    So, who owns the credit for this now? The original author of the Japanese paper, this chap, or the Americans? :)

    1. Joe Pineapples
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Behind every successful man..

      It will certainly be the American in the Hollywood adaptation. The Japanese guy? He will be American too.

      Paris? Well she's definately American.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Behind every successful man..

      Apple?

    3. Mike Flex
      Pirate

      Re: Behind every successful man..

      "So, who owns the credit for this now? The original author of the Japanese paper, this chap, or the Americans? :)"

      The RIAA of course. Hand over your money and prepare for extradition, ya varmints.

  16. taxman
    Facepalm

    Yet another....

    .....British innovation to be lost.

    Let's hope the casing doesn't have rounded corners!

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Yet another....

      Come on guys, it's about time we stopped blindly upvoting any 'rounded corners' joke.

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Yet another....

        why? even the upvote boxes have rounded corners

  17. Bob H

    Pulses?

    It only works for short pulses? Sounds ideal for PWM? Very high frequency pulses with low power and good/clean amplification.

  18. Piloti
    Thumb Up

    Trin Tragula...

    .... for that was his name......

  19. Ginger

    PLease tell me he patented this

    Otherwise, he's a fool

    1. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: PLease tell me he patented this

      Patented? It's a method of producing high-intensity microwaves!

      Last time we invented one of those, we gave it away for free to the Americans during the Tizzard Mission......

      1. Ginger

        Re: PLease tell me he patented this

        A method - perfectly good for patenting (although arguably weaker than other patents). Also, he has an example of how you would do this - again perfectly suitable for an "instrument" type patent which strengthens the original one.

  20. Ben Rosenthal
    Terminator

    All I want to know on behalf of us thickie non scientists is....

    are we any closer to either plasma rifles or lightsabres today than we were yesterday?

    1. Crisp
      Boffin

      Re: All I want to know on behalf of us thickie non scientists is....

      I'm going to go out on a limb here Ben and say yes.

      Also, I believe that the results of this experiment will also pave the way to warp drives, positronic brains, silver jumpsuits, inertial dampeners, and heisenburg compensators.

  21. Matt Schofield
    Pint

    Rule Britannia anyone?

    And that ladies and gentlemen is why Tim B-L was in the Olympics opening ceremony - not only because of his own contributions but because of the British way of doing things - 1lb Heath, 6oz Robinson, a pint of dallying, an argument with the wife and @Ginger because it might be his contribution to the world. Love it (post-Olympic normality not yet resumed...).

    1. Ginger

      Re: Rule Britannia anyone?

      Which is lovely, but if we keep giving great shit like this away we'll always be at the mercy of the banks to create wealth, and not make the money we're capable of from a high tech industry

      1. Matt Schofield

        Re: Rule Britannia anyone?

        You win Ginger. Post-Olympic normality is resumed.

        1. Ginger

          Post-Olympic normality is resumed.

          Sorry about that.

          My post olympic normality was resumed when they put the spice "girls" and a bunch of "supermodels" on the stage at the closing ceremony. A finer collection of talentless oxygen thieves in one place than I thought possible.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Post-Olympic normality is resumed.

            Supermodels were great, just over dressed...

      2. Gordon 14
        Boffin

        Re: Rule Britannia anyone?

        Banks don't create wealth, they just engage in rent seeking from their monopoly on the money supply.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Rule Britannia anyone?

      "1lb Heath, 6oz Robinson, a pint of dallying, an argument with the wife"

      ... and a pudding bowl sized mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut sheathing a crystal of pure unobtanium encased in a mirror polished silver plated pot. Not the sort of thing one can whip up in the garden shed I'm slightly saddened to see.

      Well done to him though. (I also have a collection of unlikely stuff purloined from work.)

  22. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    It's reminding me of the story of Asaph Hall

    who was allegedly bullied by his wife Angelina Strickney into going back to the freezing observatory and discovering the moons of Mars, aka Fear and Terror.

    The largest crater on Phobos - had the thing that made it been any bigger, the moon wouldn't have survived - is named for her.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It's reminding me of the story of Asaph Hall

      Why did he name a big hole after his wife? ;) You sure she wasn't called Astrobleme, not Angelina? ;)

  23. thehealer
    Paris Hilton

    Oooooh yeah....mmmm-hmmmm

    "Then he choked, and didn't turn the experiment on..."

    Should've played it some Barry White...

  24. gaz 7
    Mushroom

    wife

    I've had arguments with the missus which has made me want to go down to the garden shed and build a big feck off Laser myself.

    Dont have the engineering or scientific nouse to pull it off though, which is why she's still here!

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    YouTube captions for the win...

    "my name is mark oak spoarer..."

    By turning on YouTube captions, the presentations takes on an entirely different meaning.

    other gems inlude:

    "..and the problem with these devices is that up to now, all required progeny freezing in order to work"

    "..and now kathleen removed the coal"

    ".. an inside the ring, ease any crystal, or intestinal, intent repainting"

    "..the other night, export palistinians in process"

    I think that makes more sense.

  26. umacf24
    Boffin

    A Turnaround from the Old Pattern

    A neglected piece of Japanese research is turned into a working device by a British researcher!

    1. micheal
      WTF?

      Re: A Turnaround from the Old Pattern

      Neglected?

      or he couldnt get funding to build a prototype back then.

      plenty of people run out of money trying to make something work or never get funding at all (Trevor Bayliss, James Dyson to name but 2 who succeded despite the banks and venture companies)

      1. laird cummings

        Re: A Turnaround from the Old Pattern

        "Neglected?

        or he couldnt get funding to build a prototype back then."

        Distinction without a difference.

  27. RainForestGuppy

    Real British boffinary

    If we can just replace this sentance, like so

    He went down to the SHED to cool off and decided to switch the experiment on.

    The store will be perfect.

  28. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    How many noted " mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut"

    Once upon a time super villains had to organize giant jewel robberies just to get the *parts*.

    Now it seems you just have to know the right websites and place an order.

    When talking high efficiency amplification of GHz signals *the* obvious application has to be mobile phone base stations.

    IIRC there was some talk of using High Temperature Superconductors to improve the reception (hence lower phone output power, smaller cells and potentially more users able to talk at once). They're *much* more difficult to maintain so it might take off sooner than people may think.

    1. kyza

      Re: How many noted " mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut"

      I was more intrigued by this line:

      He then bought an old medical laser from a source in North London to set up the experiment.

      I have an image of him buying a medical laser from a bloke in a pub in Stoke Newington 'Got it during the riots last year, mate. Couldn't shift it to anyone. Your's for a monkey.'

  29. Efros
    Thumb Up

    Behind every great man's acheivements

    There's an argument with her inside.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Solar Panels on the moon are go

    Next we can do that whole thing with covering the sunny side of the moon with solar panels, collect energy, and send it back to earth in the form of microwaves, thus solving earth's energy crisis. Could this maser stuff possibly have an application there?!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "sunny side of the moon"

      You fail to understand the mechanics of the moon's orbit.

      Tip: the 'dark side' of the moon is not especially lacking in light.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "sunny side of the moon"

        > Tip: the 'dark side' of the moon is not especially lacking in light.

        There's that. But why go all the way to the moon? It'd be just as exciting to put them in near Earth orbit, but even that's grandstanding. It'd be a lot simpler to put solar generating plants in north Africa and a few other places around the world.

        Maybe it'd be interesting to MASER the power to where it's wanted until the grid is extended to where the power is generated.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "sunny side of the moon"

        Your obviously a dullard, your "technicality" is a further argument for lunar solar panels!!!

  31. Lamont Cranston

    I'm confused.

    Did he use it to vapourise his wife? Or just storm down to his lab thinking "I'm sooooo pissed off right now, I don't care if this thing does destroy the earth"?

  32. Loyal Commenter Silver badge
    Alert

    Fly on the wall

    "Fuck this shit, I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. I'm going down to the basement to play with my death-ray!"

  33. Bunker_Monkey
    Facepalm

    Sharks?

    Thats all folks!

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah But

    It's pink yeah, who ever heard of a weapon or powerful tool being based on pink?

    Super long range Gaydar maybe.

  35. Kubla Cant
    Paris Hilton

    Mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut

    Scene 1: the breakfast table; wife has just opened the post

    wife All right, who is she?

    man Who?

    wife Your floozie. The one you've bought this mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut for. I must say, I don't think much of her taste in jewellery.

    man Oh that... it's, er, part of an experiment. I'm hoping to make Masie, er, a maser. That's it, I'm going to make a maser.

    wife You must think I was born yesterday. You'd better make up your mind - her or me!

    man I'm just off to the shed to try it out.

    wife A likely story!

    Scene 2: the shed

    man Oh sh*t! What do I do now? I don't suppose there's any chance this maser thing is really possible.

    To be continued.

    1. laird cummings

      Re: Mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut

      Transparent aluminum!

  36. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Cool Masing

    Sounds like it could be a place near Basildon

    1. Vic
      Joke

      Re: Cool Masing

      Nah - it's Jamaica's entry into the Physics Olympics...

      Vic.

  37. Alan Brown Silver badge

    Re: Mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut

    My ex-wife had a similar moment when she discovered a folder in my work email named "JaNet".

    I don't think the explanation of "Joint Academic Network" ever did convince, even after showing the website and letting her read the content. (one of the reasons she's EX-wife)

    That really is one feckoff large chunk of carborundum though, At least we'll be able to listen to Pioneer for a while longer with it. :)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mono-crystalline sapphire doughnut

      Did yours try to blame you for for having difficulty putting digital photos into year-grouping folders on the PC when she's not been setting the date properly on her camera? Compounded by the fact that she never ever moved files off her SD cards, seemed to think the filedates were the True Source of all knowledge, and that only Bad People ever move or copy them for any reason ;)

  38. david 63

    Do you have one...

    ...in any other colour than pink?

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    get that woman

    into the lab now!

  40. 4ecks

    New Backronym ?

    M arital

    A rgument

    S hed

    E nhanced

    R esearch

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