Jesus christ.
Microsoft, Adobe throw fire blanket over blaze of security flaws
Microsoft has fixed 26 security flaws, at least five of which are critical, in its software. At least one of the holes is being actively exploited by hackers to compromise Windows computers. The latest Patch Tuesday update from the company addresses these vulnerabilities, which are present in workstations and servers running …
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Wednesday 15th August 2012 15:52 GMT borrel boy
"Common as Muck"
Microsoft and Abobe have known about it all along. I've known about this for 10 years. It's been a very common way to watch your work being siphoned off as someone else observed then got paid for it.
Sorry Microsoft and Abobe - you would treat OWN FAMILIES in your own house like this ?
Never mind. We'll see what else hovers in the next ten...
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Wednesday 15th August 2012 14:23 GMT btrower
The usual Total Fail
Imagine this being done with software that runs motor vehicles, air traffic control, medical devices and weapons systems. ... We are sorry, Mrs. China, that we bombed half your country back into the stone-age. It was a licensing issue. This was corrected in version version 8.1 of Windows Atomic Maintenance, Bombs And Munitions (WAM, BAM), thank you ma'am. Sadly, the delivery of the new system was delayed due to a tragic plane crash. As a work-around, we suggest you move your remaining population to a new country. Hopefully, so you can take care of the survivors, you have managed to get the latest patches for MS MedSystem, despite the recent spate of Truck crashes affecting delivery. We are in a transition period as drivers learn to adapt to the new and improved Feature Options and Driver Interface Enhancements (FO & DIE).
Malcontents will always complain, but we think most users will be *delighted* that we have switched the brake and the gas pedals.
Some drivers just can't get the new changes into their heads. They may be using MS Hardware Enhanced Access Device (HEAD)(TM) version 2.1, which is no longer supported. They need to upgrade to MS HEAD 3.1, Noggin Edition**. [**Speech, hearing, sight, memory and motor movement licensed separately; Multi-tasking only supported in Professional and Enterprise editions; Walking and Gum chewing in Enterprise Edition only.] Some customers say that if they have to pay for the features, then Microsoft can just give them HEAD. Microsoft is considering handing you your HEAD.
Don't forget that the new licensing model requires valid MS Brain Access Learning Licenses (BALLs), version 2012 or higher.
Activating the newly placed brake pedal requires you to log-in as Administrator, enter your BALL System Activation Key (SAK) and re-run Windows Activation New Key Extra Review (acronym and name pending). Each driver and passenger must have BALLs. As you know, Microsoft has BALLs. Just remember our catchy slogan: "Microsoft has your BALLs". Bonus:Remote Administrators get a BALL SAK with two BALLs.
If you don't want to enter passenger keys for each passenger, you can pay a little extra for a Multi-Access User Licence (MAUL). You can get them directly from Microsoft. Contact support at Microsoft; they will MAUL your BALLs.
If you really want to get with the program, join the Ballmer Intern/Trainee and Helper Program (BITHP). It is not very expensive. You can finance with Microsoft Finance (TM) and after a few years and some challenging Certification exams, you will be become a Ballmer Intern Trainee Certified Helper (BITCH). After graduation, you will be not only an MS BITCH, but Steve Ballmer's personal BITCH.
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Prior to seeing the article on Windows 8, I had installed and spent some time with Windows 8. It is a disaster. I will not be fighting my way past that ridiculous start screen and the capricious, arbitrary and fantastically irritating UI changes. Will they be an improvement if I shut down for a few weeks and try to train away 30 years of reflex arcs? Who cares? I have better things to do with my time.
I already use Linux for most of my servers. If Metro is the future at Microsoft, then I am going to switch to Linux for the Desktops and for the remaining servers as well.
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Wednesday 15th August 2012 18:54 GMT Dick Emery
Lovely update failures
The initial update resulted in 8 failed updates. From Googling this is a common problem on the 64bit platform.
http://answers.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/forum/windows_7-windows_update/windows-7-ultimate-wont-install-updates/4a5c1dbd-ec26-410d-b69a-9347166b13cd
After disabling everything in startup and doing one update at a time it began to work. However one update resulted in Win7 no longer booting and I had to run Win7 repair CD to get it booting again!
I then finished off applying the rest of the updates manually and reenabled the startup items I had disabled.
This wasted at least a couple of hours of my day. Thanks MS!
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Monday 20th August 2012 12:19 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Lovely update failures
And they closed down their tech support in Australia.... and off-shored that to the cheapest foreign call center...
And they ripp off their customers by price gouging different markets..
And they put out an idiot browser to monopolise markets - it takes ONE little thing to fuck the browser and the whole OS opens up all the ports, shares contents with world and fucks your life up...
Add infinitum... and the Anti-trust fines in Europe, corruption in the ISO with their vote rigging for their bullshit XML / Docx formats..
Hmmm the greatest innovation MS can do is to steal other peoples work, to repackage the same old software in new wrapping paper and update the year stamp on the outside of the boxes....
Buggy updates? We will need a patch to patch the patches....
Thank fuck for Linux.
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Thursday 16th August 2012 03:56 GMT dhcp pump
PLS Fix It Redmond
As the OP mentioned most of the exploits are rehashed OLD ( 10 years +) ,yes the year 1985-2002.
Somewhat strange that MS hasnt heard of regression testing,and ffs normal release testing.
And due to the entwinement/entrapment of the OS with the stupid browser nobody uses anymore,
most of the bloated apps are affected by the exploits in a roll on affect.
For crying out loud the browser was the cause of most of the issues for the last 10 years ,remove it
or make it an add-on for those who need to use it :?.
Unless they get off on the media attention and mayhem of patch Tuesday .
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Tuesday 21st August 2012 12:01 GMT RICHTO
Re: PLS Fix It Redmond
These are all brand new issues. Read the releases.
In fact I cant think of Microsoft ever making a security regression mistake. It is after all a professional organisation and not an amateurs playground like Linux where critical kernel issues are reintroduced:
http://www.securityfocus.com/bid/43355 "Please note that this issue is related to the issue described in BID 25774 (Linux Kernel Ptrace Local Privilege Escalation Vulnerability). The vulnerability was reintroduced in Linux kernel 2.6.27-rc1 via commit d4d67150."
IE9 actually has far fewer vulnerabilities than any other major browser - and is no longer tied into the OS.
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