back to article Giant idol 'STRUCK DOWN by the Wrath of God' unearthed in Turkey

Top archaeologists are chuffed as ninepence this week to announce that they have unearthed a massive statue - perhaps as tall as 4m when it was erect - which was probably an "idol" tumbled down by a terrible race of warriors referred to in the Bible as "the rod of my [God's] anger, in whose hand is the club of my wrath". We …

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  1. Richard Wharram

    The real Hittites were, if memory serves (will not Google this) wiped out by the Sea Peoples in 1176BC. Either that or it was a game of Age Of Empires I played about 15 years ago.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Something El Reg isn't telling us?

    I followed through to the pictures and thought the statue looked a bit weird. Then I realised it looked very much like a Playmobil figure. How long exactly have the Playmobil reconstructions been running?

    1. Tom7

      Re: Something El Reg isn't telling us?

      Frighteningly fanatical-looking sort, isn't he? And his hairdresser has some odd ideas.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Something El Reg isn't telling us?

      Nah! If you imagine that stuck in a Kart racing Mario, everything about it makes perfect sense.

  3. Platelet
    Alien

    the massive statue formed part of a gate complex

    Where's Daniel Jackson when you need him?

  4. Tom7
    IT Angle

    Interesting stuff

    But colour me bewildered as to the IT aspect.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Interesting stuff

      Was made on one of those snazzy 3D printers, ... a few years ago

    2. The Indomitable Gall

      Re: Interesting stuff

      I'm guessing it's a character from a late-80s/early-90s Taito platform game....

    3. BlueGreen

      Re: Interesting stuff

      @Tom7, I don't really get the need for people to have fixed categories. Great discovery, great story, fascinating.

      The old testament stuff just nudges me a bit more in the direction of religion. The FSM specifically, a laid back deity I can admire, not a jealous god, happy bedecked in any brand of tomato sauce, or just brew up your own.

      Regularly sacrifices his children on my plate, and doesn't demand fear and cowering in return.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I met a traveller from an antique land

    Who said: "I'll get me coat"

    1. Arctic fox
      Thumb Up

      Re: I met a traveller from an antique land

      It is a terrific poem. About as evocative as it is possible to write. A timely reminder to all who think that what they know and the times they live in have anything other than a very short (in historical terms) shelf-life.

      "I met a traveller from an antique land

      Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone

      Stand in the desart. Near them, on the sand,

      Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,

      And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,

      Tell that its sculptor well those passions read

      Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

      The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:

      And on the pedestal these words appear:

      "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:

      Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

      Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

      Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare

      The lone and level sands stretch far away."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I met a traveller from an antique land

        I agree; a great poem.

        It's also pointing out hubris of the highest order. Sort of like the hype coming from some Olympic media tents.

      2. Richard Wharram

        Re: I met a traveller from an antique land

        But Ramses is remembered from over 3000 years ago. Khufu from 4,500 years ago. That's still a pretty meaty legacy tbh, dead or not.

        (Thutmosis III fanboi)

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Thumb Up

        Re: I met a traveller from an antique land

        This is really TRIPPY.... I mean REALLY trippy.

        Google Images:

        Sudan pyramids island of meroe

        This is one of the most tragicaly brilliant pictures I have ever seen...

        Of just HOW important, long lasting and significant - you are not.

        http://www.sharewonders.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pyramids-of-Meroe.jpg

        Makes a great screen saver image. Good for the humility, a grounded perspective on eternity and firing up the zest for life.

        This is probably the best 1/2 dozen videos on the issue of the known universe and wayyyyyyy beyond it.

        It's just sort of "mental breakdown" material..... so on one hand - with that poem you really do count for nothing and in a universal sense, your position, in time, size, effect and everything, is so infinitely nothing in a galactically huge everything...

        But they are brilliant videos - and they kind of explain it all very well. The issue of other places to go in the universe - and how to navigate it all... Eternity is a big place and a long time - but the universe and it's age is even bigger....

        There is also a squillion other really great videos too...

        http://www.khanacademy.org/

        Cosmology and Astronomy

        Videos attempting to grasp a little bit about our Universe (many of the topics associated with "Big History")

        Scale of Earth and Sun Scale of Solar System

        Scale of Distance to Closest Stars

        Scale of the Galaxy

        Intergalactic Scale

        Hubble Image of Galaxies

        LOL now that your grip on reality is rooned.....

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interesting style - not at all what I expected. Those eyes look very much like those on some Easter Island statues...

    1. PsychicMonkey

      looks like Jasper Beardly to me...

  7. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Coat

    "the rod of my [God's] anger, in whose hand is the club of my wrath".

    Must. Stop. Watching. Porn.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "the rod of my [God's] anger, in whose hand is the club of my wrath".

      And yet, no comment on "as tall as 4m when it was erect". For shame.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do you have a permit for that?

    "a terrible race of warriors referred to in the Bible as "the rod of my [God's] anger, in whose hand is the club of my wrath"

    Yeah, I encountered one of these low-IQ security guards when taking photos outdoors once.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yaweh is a Dick.

    That is all.

  10. Martin Maloney
    Coat

    The reason for God's Judgment on Assyria

    An idol's hands are the Devil's workshop.

  11. GreyWolf
    Holmes

    ... the remaining trees of his forests will be so few that a child could write them down ...

    And that, dear children, is why the land of Mesopotamia is a rock-strewn hellhole today...

    1. hplasm
      Coat

      Re: ... the remaining trees of his forests will be so few that a child could write them down ...

      And a damning testament to the state of maths teaching in Mesopotamian schools...

  12. brooxta

    OT 101

    Lewis, loving the Old Testament knowledge here!

    As for the IT angle. The Isaiah and Ozymandias references are more than enough to establish a proper sense of perspective on any of our human accomplishments to date, including advances in IT (MS excluded as Windoze clearly doesn't count as an "advance").

    PS. Oh how I wish the mobile version of the forums allowed icons.

  13. NomNomNom

    Imagine you were in church (no seriously) and you were sitting there all sleepy and bored and the priest was doing his sermon:

    "Let us not gloat on profits, When children are hungry.

    Let us not be concerned with fashion, When sisters need clothing.

    Let us not sit comfortably, When brothers have no shelter.

    Let us not waste food,....WOE TO THE ASSYRIAN, The ROD of my ANGER! In whose HAND IS THE CLUB OF MY WRATH! I SEND HIM against a GODLESS NATION! I dispatch him against a people who ANGER ME! to SEIZE loot and SNATCH plunder, and to TRAMPLE THEM DOWN like MUD. In. The. Streets...."

    I would go church every Sunday without fail if they preached that kind of Epic shit.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      and now imagine the text read

      in the style of the Reverend Ian Paisley in his tub-thumping prime

      1. Jim Carter

        Re: and now imagine the text read

        I once knew a man with that kind of passion. Shame about his epic level hypocrisy, not to mention his following of a paleolithic belief system.

    2. Dozer
      Devil

      Re: Epic Shit

      I might give up a few Sunday's for this:

      Ezekiel 25:17

      The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

      1. amanfromearth

        Re: Epic Shit

        We would all believe if the Lord Almighty started to do a bit more smiting of his enemies.

      2. Santa from Exeter
        Thumb Up

        Re: Epic Shit

        Know what you mean, I gave up most of last Sunday for this, along with

        'With the exception of Eddie and myself, whom you already know, we're going to be using aliases on this job. Under no circumstances do I want any one of you to relate to each other by your Christian names, and I don't want any talk about yourself personally. That includes where you been, your wife's name, where you might've done time, or maybe a bank you robbed in St. Petersburg. All I want you guys to talk about, if you have to, is what you're going to do. That should do it. Here are your names... ',

        'Because it was a fifty fifty shot on wheter you'd be going left or right. You see we're both going left. You could have just as easily been going left, too. And if that was the case... It would have been a while before you started getting scared. But since you're going the other way, I'm afraid you're gonna have to start getting scared... immediately! '

        and

        '.I think you show great talent. And I pride myself on having an eye for that kind of talent. But your status as a Nazi killer is still amateur. We all come here to see if you wanna go pro. '

  14. Gareth Jones 2

    They do !

    you should go to Church more (sayeth the Lord...)

  15. bep

    Ozymandias

    Yep, not surprising everyone thinks of him. On the other hand, the pyramids are still there, and they meet my definition of 'massive', which a 4m statue doesn't I'm afraid.

    1. Mephistro
      Coat

      Re: Ozymandias

      You know, when people talk about erect things, they tend to exaggerate.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ozymandias

    The Ozymandias quote is spot on for the pyramids. The stone relics remain, surrounded by the sands, while the world-striding power that built them has been defunct for two millenia.

    There's still plenty of godly smiting going on, and preachers cheerleading it. You just need to know how to look at it. Trouble is that most of us want to see our own enemies as also being God's enemies. It gets a bit harder when it is us that that is due for a takedown.

    1. Richard Wharram

      Re: Ozymandias

      Ozymandias is another name for Ramses II who didn't build any pyramids. Pyramids were build in the Old and Middle kingdoms, not the New kingdom. Ramses built a lot of big stuff but not pyramids.

      Also, Ramses was more concerned with big impressive looking shit than quality craftsmanship. For example many of his monuments used recessed rather than raised reliefs because it's easier to do.

      Err, anyway... no pyramids.

  17. JesterMedia

    Why has he got a tortoise on his head?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Epic Life

    God is Greatest One Only.

    Live This Life He Has Given You Well.

    Its a Wonderful Life.

    Its a Wonderful Earth. Thank God for a Wonderful Earth Life......

    1. Richard Wharram
      Devil

      Re: Epic Life

      Ia Ia Shub-Niggurath; goat with one thousand young.

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