back to article Official: Linux buffs lay out more on marital aids than Mac users

Mac owners spend more money on sex toys than Windows users do, but Linux buffs outspend both of them, even though they visit less pages on pervy product producers' websites. That's the claim of one such, UK dildo deployer Lovehoney, which has published its Google Analystics logs in a shamelessly self-promotional plug. Or …

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  1. Andrew
    Happy

    Facts...

    "Xbox 360 owners don't appear in Lovehoney's list, so either they're all a very chaste crowd or they have other outlets for their passion..."

    Well considering the Xbox 360 doesn't have a web browser it's hardly surprising they don't go looking around sites with it.

    PS3 users on the other hand wouldn't have much use of toys for the opposite sex now would they...

  2. Dan
    Paris Hilton

    DIY

    would be more interesting to know how many of these buyers actually someone to buy this stuff for other than themselves...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    i think this shows

    mac users are just more adventurous then windows users, and lux users more so then that.

    score.

    explains why my wife is still with me then.

  4. Chris Collins

    Fewer

    The vist fewer pages, not less pages. They have less sex.

  5. Paul
    Thumb Up

    So what your saing is...

    Linex geeks are a bunch of wankers?

    Now, is this one for a Joke, Flame or Coat Icon?

  6. Daniel

    Users and abusers

    If there's HP-UX 'user' I suspect they are counting Robots and spiders as 'users'.

    I wonder how many 'browsers', they have listed, with names like 'WiseCrawler', 'Scooter', and 'Lycos-News-Xml-Fetcher'?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Simple Economics

    'Hello, Linux boys. You lot spend, on average, £48.55 on dildos, lube and edible undies. Of the named operating systems, the Mac brigade comes next with £40.38, followed by Windows users, who spend on average £35.90.'

    Linux users spend more money on these things as they saved more money getting their operating systems. It is simple economics!

  8. Tim

    @Daniel

    I doubt that robots and spiders have any need to spend £16 on intimate plasticware. Robots have them built in and as for spiders, well, 8 hands!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Penguins?

    I imagine the linux geeks will have been bulk buying the 'I Rub My Penguin Waterproof Massager'. :D

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BRILLIANT

    "Or should that be butt-plug?"

    Hahahahahahahaahaha!! I get it.

  11. Dave Bell
    Coat

    Bring back Sir Clive

    At least his multi-function lumps of rubber had an IT use.

  12. Frank Bough
    Stop

    I call bollocks

    "Despite the anomalous activity of - probably sole - HPUX user grabbing an eyeful of 18 pages per visit, by far the majority of the site's visitors - 98.8 per cent of the visits in a given month - do so on Windows PCs. Mac users come second - clearly they're thoughtful lovers - scoring five per cent. Linux lads are next, accounting for 0.7 per cent of site visits."

    98.8 + 5 + 0.7= 104.5%

    Clearly some top grade maths going on here.

  13. RW
    Paris Hilton

    Lovehoney & Orgasm Army

    The real IT angle is that Lovehoney in many respects exemplifies what a good e-commerce site should be like. The reviews in their Orgasm Army section

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/orgasmarmy/

    are priceless if you're only there for amusement, invaluable if you are weighing the relative merits of the Target Practice "Ass Force One Butt Plug" vs. the Doc Johnson "Red Boy Extra Large Butt Blug" [sic]

    It's quite remarkable how poor many sex toy sites are at providing factual details about their offerings.

    Where dildos are concerned, you would expect a site to state name of manufacturer, manufacturer's name and catalog # for the item, diameter, length, circumference, weight, material, presence of phthalates or not, country of manufacture, features, available colors, price, and shipping cost to assorted destinations across the face of the globe. Plus clear photographs -- there's one kink shop in Germany that favors somberly butch black-background photographs, just what you don't want when depicting black vinyl doodads.

    Paris because I bet that girl doesn't use vinyl prosthetics.

  14. Trix
    Dead Vulture

    I failed to see the part where they analysed the gender of the buyers

    "Linux lads are next, accounting for 0.7 per cent of site visits.

    ...

    Hello, Linux boys. You lot spend, on average, £48.55 on dildos, lube and edible undies."

    You know what? I use Linux, I've *gasp* frequented the site (crap selection, so I didn't buy anything), and I am not a "lad" or a "boy".

    Leaving their stats aside, let's not be overly creative with your own assertions. Some of us chix know how to drive (not to mention program with) different OSes and don't possess pink hardware (oh, hang on, I do have a pink gadget, but it's the buzzy kind).

  15. E

    Far out

    I can't explain the dollars spent data, but clearly Windows users spend less time viewing because Windows video drivers are in kernel, whereas Linux video drivers and X are somewhere between in kernel and user space.

    So maybe Linux users are just a bit slower than Windows users.

    Did I just type that!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    @anonymous coward

    Rampant Penguin? Is there nothing Linux fans won't open source.

    Paris, because, well, I thought she was a plastic prosthetic.

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