back to article China fingered as lappie disappears from Taiwanese boat

Taiwanese military types are trying to allay fears that a laptop which went missing from a high-speed missile boat last month could pose a risk to national security after concerns that the device was stolen by Chinese spies. Colonel Lin Gau-joe of Taiwan’s Ministry of National Defence told reporters that the laptop was being …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nah, one of the crew nicked it to watch an episode of Jeremy Kyle.

  2. Barry Dingle

    Best Place to Store Top Secret Info

    On a laptop. On a boat. Probably as a pdf.

  3. oldtaku Silver badge

    Steal ALL of them!

    It's nice to have a goal, innit.

  4. h4rm0ny

    It's called a laptop!

    Saying lappie immediately makes you sound like a brain-damaged French teenager. Just thought you should know. I mean as abbreviations go, it's not even any fewer syllables. It's just sounding stupid for the sake of sounding stupid.

    1. frank ly

      Re: It's called a laptop!

      Structurally, 'laptop' may have the same number of syllables as 'lappie', but the double consonant 'pt' is more difficult to say since it requires a more complex lip and tongue movement at the transition. For casual speech (and casual writing), this is the reason I prefer to use 'lappie', 'deskie', 'tabbie' and 'mobbie'.

      (Note: 'mobbie' may have one more syllable than the 'mobe' alternative but the longer 'ie' sound at the end allows relaxed vocalisation as part of a more natural breath pattern.)

      Language changes and we should take advantage of increased efficiencies and comfort afforded by these advances.

      1. Chicken Marengo
        FAIL

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        >>Language changes and we should take advantage of increased efficiencies and comfort afforded by these advances.

        The logical extension of which is that we go back to monosyllabic grunting. Maybe teenagers are the future after all.

      2. Dave Bennett
        Thumb Up

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        You sir, are a scholar and a gent. I would like to learn more about vocalisation please. Links?

        David!

      3. h4rm0ny
        Paris Hilton

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        "'lappie', 'deskie', 'tabbie' and 'mobbie'."

        I think I just threw up a little. It sounds like the sort of infantilised speech people use toward their babies. I cannot believe that you have found efficiency gains in saying "lappie" over "laptop" either noticeable or sufficient reason to change by themself. In relative terms, the tongue and lip movements for "laptop" might be marginally more complicated than "lappie", but in absolute terms, both are trivially, trivially easy to say. The only sense in which there would be an advantage in the alternative term would be if it saved time or typing. The syllable count which is what I referred to earlier is therefore the relevant factor for the former - and it shows us that speaking time is unaltered. For the latter, you can see that "lappie" and "laptop" both have the same number of letters so again, no difference. In summary, you gain no advantage that is perceivable (few of us need to conciously sound out the word with tongue movements) and you gain the twin disadvantages of using a word that is different to the standard and focuses attention on your odd word use rather than what you're trying to say) and the equally significant disadvantage that large sections of the population will think you sound like an idiot. It's the sort of word a dim american might use as a name for the dog in their handbag. Paris, for no discernible reason... ;)

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 'mobbie' may have one more syllable than the 'mobe' alternative

        I always liked the German "handy" for mobile/cellular phone., but apparently I'm not allowed to use it in the UK., but apparently I'm not allowed to use it in the UK.

        1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

          Re: 'mobbie' may have one more syllable than the 'mobe' alternative

          requesting a "handy" in the US will likely incur a discussion with the vice squad.

        2. Dave Bennett
          Joke

          Re: 'mobbie' may have one more syllable than the 'mobe' alternative

          This comment reminds me of the joke in Predator.

          'Gee you've got a big pussy. Gee you've got a big pussy'

          'Why did you say that twice?'

          'I didn't'

          Or something along those lines. Or something along those lines.

      5. Arctic fox
        Trollface

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        I think that you will have noticed that a fair number here would not recognise irony if it bit them in the arse.

        1. mhenriday
          Pint

          «I think that you will have noticed

          that a fair number here would not recognise irony if it bit them in the arse.» Perhaps It would help if they had their heads twisted on (arse-)backwards ?...

          Henri

      6. Juan Inamillion

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        Ha ha! I see what you did there! (Pity the downvoters didn't...)

    2. AndyS

      Re: It's called a laptop!

      Unless you follow "Lappy" with "486". Then it's perfectly acceptable.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's called a laptop!

        Correct, it's spelt Lappy not 'Lappie'.

        http://www.lazylaces.com/pics/01/center_lappy_486.jpg

  5. Callam McMillan
    Facepalm

    Still better than here

    At least this laptop was kept on a boat, rather than lets say left on a train by some clumsy Civil Servant! No mention of whether the laptop was encrypted though?

    1. Julz
      Meh

      Re: Still better than here

      Encryption, if it was the Chinese government, would only slow things up a bit.

  6. Keith Williams
    Black Helicopters

    1949

    "After the bitter civil war in China ended in 1949, the nationalist faction retreated back to Taiwan, but no peace treaty was ever signed between the two sides and many on the Communist-ruled mainland still regards the island as their own."

    Surely, by the same logic, the Island government could consider the mainland as their own as well?

    1. mhenriday
      Boffin

      Surely, by the same logic, the Island government

      could consider the mainland as their own as well?

      It may surprise you to learn, Keith, that the «island government», aka the Republic of China, does, at least officially (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Administrative_divisions_of_the_Republic_of_China). Moreover, it not only claims all the territory claimed by the People's Republic of China, but an additional 2 million km^2 or so : «The Republic of China has never renounced its claim over territory it ruled prior to losing the mainland in 1949. This included all of mainland China, parts of northern Burma, Tannu Uriankhai (part of which is present-day Tuva in Russia), and Outer Mongolia, whose independence the ROC has never recognized.» As a matter of fact, since coming to power in 1949, the PRC has adopted a conciliatory attitude in order to resolve outstanding territorial disputes with its neighbours, and succeeded in a majority of cases. These disputes would have been at least as - I suspect more - difficult had the RC government remained in power (but please don't tell Phil ; it's never pleasant to have one's prejudices questioned)....

      Henri

  7. Arachnoid
    Thumb Down

    [quote]Structurally, 'laptop' may have the same number of syllables as 'lappie', but the double consonant 'pt' is more difficult to say since it requires a more complex lip and tongue movement at the transition. For casual speech (and casual writing), this is the reason I prefer to use 'lappie', 'deskie', 'tabbie' and 'mobbie'.[/quote]

    Sorry for some reason I was expecting the word Barbie to appear in the same sentence.Just a small correction we are reading this, not speaking it out loud like a three year old.

  8. sueme2
    Devil

    Chrissy Pressy

    No comment

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