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back to article Rogue kebab provokes Carlisle post-pub car deathmatch

A Carlisle building labourer has been relieved of his driving licence for 27 months after a drunken kebab retrieval manoeuvre ended with him piling his car into a stationary vehicle. Colin Watson, 27, left the house he shares with his parents on 18 May, following a row with mum and dad. According to the Telegraph, he drove to …

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  1. Peter Johnstone
    Pint

    'The fate of the kebab is unknown.'

    Glad I'm not drinking or that line would have cost me a keyboard!

    Pint for obvious reasons.

    9 0
  2. TakeTheSkyRoad

    The Kebab in the Telegraph acticle looks a bit posh for a post pub job.

    More likely to be a donner I think lol

    0 0
  3. DJ Smiley
    Thumb Down

    Why?

    Why is this on el reg?

    2 23
    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Why?

      Yawn. Why are you on El Reg, pray tell?

      14 2
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why?

        You should know that of all people! He's on it because they publish any old shite here.

        3 0
        1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: Re: Why?

          It's true - sigh. Pub o'clock, methinks...

          2 1
    2. Arctic fox
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Re: "Why is this on el reg?" El Reg very helpfully provide a clue for the hard of thinking.......

      .........in the form of a category (you have heard of that concept no? It keeps things separate.) known as "Boot notes" which is El Reg-speak for amusing and entertaining off the wall news items that rarely if ever have anything to do with tech.

      3 0
    3. raving angry loony
      Reply Icon

      Re: Why?

      It's Lester. It's Friday. It's bootnotes. What, you need more of an excuse than that? Most of the rest of us don't. Just move on then you fun-hating corporate killjoy.

      3 0
      1. Francis Boyle Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Why?

        Definitely IT - Ill-advised Transport.

        1 0
        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Also

          ICT - Ill-advised Carlisle Transport. Don't worry I'll stop now - I blame DARPA anyway.

          0 0
  4. Ged T
    Pint

    Why? Because...

    ...not everything that glitters in front of an IT professional has to be gold: Amber nectar-related stories are staple fare.

    4 0
    1. Zombie Womble
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: Why? Because...

      It's Friday so lighten up and have a pint,

      3 0
    2. Keith Williams
      Reply Icon
      FAIL

      Re: Why? Because...

      Glisters, not glitters.

      5 1
      1. Dave 62
        Reply Icon
        Trollface

        Re: Why? Because...

        Oh my god he like, totally misquoted the immortal hack!

        If only Glister and glitter were synonyms and nobody gave a fuck anyway.

        3 3
  5. Archibald Trumpetbeetle

    Shish!

    Don't retrieve your doner

    You might become a goner

    0 0
  6. Steve Mann

    Bah!

    The inference is clear: Kebabs cause traffic accidents. Best stick to fish'n'chips after a skinful.

    1 0
    1. jai
      Reply Icon

      Re: Bah!

      I believe the song suggests:

      "Chips, cheese, curry makes you feel brand new /

      Washed down with a Special Brew..."

      but maybe that only applies in Newport?

      1 0
  7. Miek
    IT Angle

    I'm guessing the kebab was the I.T angle, non?

    0 0
  8. Cameron Colley

    Could have been worse.

    He could have walked to a friend's and posted racist comments on Twitter.

    Remember kids: Drinking and driving costs lives: but it's preferable to being a twat on Twitter.

    3 0
    1. sueme2
      Reply Icon

      Re: Could have been worse.

      The IT angle could have been that he hit a BT cabinet? but there was another kebab?

      0 0
  9. Kebabbert

    Weird.

    Kebab? Who doesnt like Kebab?

    0 0
  10. PhilipN Silver badge

    Want the truth?

    As a practising lawyer (hoping to get it right eventually) I can tell you the kebab part of the story as told to the court was bollocks. It was cooked up (err... yeah) by his brief to provide a marginally more innocent explanation than being too pissed to see straight. That would/could have been a suspended prison sentence because it's dangerous driving as well as DUI.

    2 0
  11. Winkypop Silver badge
    Alien

    Where's the kebab?

    There was supposed to be a stomach-shattering kebab!

    0 0
  12. TRT Silver badge

    But your driving license...

    automatically enrolls you as a donner.

    1 0
  13. fridaynightsmoke
    Pint

    I need a donner,

    donner,

    a donner is what I NEEEED-

    hey hey

    0 0
  14. Tank boy
    Pint

    The mighty doner...

    I want updates on how the kebab fared! STAT!!!

    0 0
  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Who's Donna? and Why is she a kebab?

    0 0
  16. Anthony Hegedus Silver badge
    IT Angle

    I always wanted to use that emoticon or whatever it's called these days

    Maybe the IT angle that was omitted was that he used his iphone to find a kebab place. If he'd just walked he'd have found one, but he had to drive didn't he? Probably because he used some donerfinda app which didn't know about the nearest one, instead taking him a car ride away. Maybe he'll sue the developer.

    0 0
  17. ukgnome

    Is that the most costly kebab known?

    0 0
  18. wibble001
    Paris Hilton

    Speaking of non-IT related shite on El Reg....

    .....when was the last time we had a legitimate Paris Hilton related story!!!

    <-- Obvious

    0 1
  19. Alan Brown Silver badge
    FAIL

    Lily livered judge

    It's no wonder Britain has a drink-drive problem when a drunk driver doesn't face jailtime after crashing.

    Compare and contrast with what would happen in Australia or New Zealand - both countries got fed up to the back teeth with drunks 35 years ago and started stomping _hard_ on the practice.

    IT angle - none, except people shouldn't use social media while drunk either - but that merely causes embarrassment rather than physical damage.

    2 0
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