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back to article Germans launch flights for nudists

A German company will later this year launch flights for nudists, aimed specifically at former East Germans who pine for the good old days under Communism when just about the only thing that wasn't illegal was getting your kit off. The service will run from 5 July from Erfurt in southeast Germany to the Baltic Sea island of …

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  1. Rick
    Coat

    Plastic on the seats?

    Could be a sticky situation at 37000 ft.!! have they announced the carrier or flight number yet? Will be needing some sanitizer after the flight.

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Missed opportunity

    "In case you're wondering, the aircraft's crew will keep their clothes on."

    So, no 'cockpit' jokes then...

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  3. TeeCee Gold badge

    As God intended?

    I'm terribly sorry, but I find the idea of plane-loads of Germans in the altogether being in some way in harmony with God's ineffable plan the most hysterically surreal concept.

    Proof, if needed, that truth really can be stranger than fiction, even when the fiction concerned is Monty Python's Flying Circus.

    (Must. Stop. Hysterical. Giggling.......)

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  4. James Le Cuirot
    Coat

    Re: Bootnote

    But not if the FCC have anything to do with it!!

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  5. Harry
    Happy

    "In case you're wondering, the aircraft's crew will keep their clothes on"

    I wonder how much the crew have to pay, to be chosen for that shift?

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  6. Steve Sutton
    Thumb Up

    "to fly as nature intended"

    ...and that's why I love El Reg!

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Err...hang on

    "But then they will be able to enjoy the hour-long flight in the way God intended."

    Thats a bit of a strange statement, isn't it? Surely, if your one of those people who believes in all that silly God nonsense, then "the way God intended" would not be that you catch a plane at all, but that you damn well walk there.

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  8. Anonymous John
    Unhappy

    "in the way God intended."

    If God had meant us to go naked, we'd have been born naked. Er...

    A stupid idea especilally considering how cramped many aircraft are. By the time the passengers got their kit off, a one hour flight would probably be over.

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  9. Les Matthew

    "fly as nature intended"

    So they will be covered in feathers and not naked at all? ;)

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  10. Joe Stalin
    Happy

    "Fly as nature intended"

    Nature never intended us to fly, naked or otherwise.

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Does this mean Paris H is a communist?

    Well, bits of her, anyway.

    One wonders what the pleasure is sitting in a plane while naked. I suppose the pre-flight safety announcements could be more interesting than normal: "In the event of a drop in cabin pressure, you may find your nether regions are shrinking. A small woolly pouch will drop from above." etc etc...

    As for hiding explosives and so on, a number of cocaine smugglers would confirm that there are numerous body cavities and organs that stuff can be hidden in. However, and I can confirm this from personal experience, Selfridges didn't hide its cosmetics when Spencer Tunick did his nude installation on the ground floor in 2003. I suppose they thought no-one would want to use lipstick purloined in this way...

    I'm certain there's an IT angle somewhere here...

    Anonymous for obvious reasons...

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  12. Bob

    Have you not seen Man on Fire?

    "We challenge even the most ingenious member of al-Qaeda to conceal a box-cutter and binary liquid explosives when he's got nothing more than an in-flight safety leaflet to cover his modesty."

    Denzel: That's a bomb in your ass!

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  13. Garth
    Coat

    @bootnote

    As a citizen of the U.S. of A. I object to your bootnote. To think that we would find terrorism more of a threat than the incidental exposure of naughty bits is beyond belief!

    Seeing the human body in its natural form is the greatest of all terrorist acts. Have you see how big some of my fellow citizens are? That's just inhumane.

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  14. Andy Kay
    Joke

    Baltic Sea Island???

    Baltic Sea Island of Usedom?!? I suspect a con here somewhere....

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    Ouch

    Hot coffee, turbulence, I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

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  16. Tim Coughlin

    @Garth

    I could end this entire idea just for signing up for a ticket. Unfortunately, being sued for blindness is probably too expensive to risk it...

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  17. James Pickett
    Coat

    Oh dear

    So there won't just be skid-marks on the runway? Sorry...

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  18. alyn

    The snuke

    Have you not seen the South Park episode "The Snuke"? Hilary Clinton hid an A bomb "up there".

    P.S. Its bad enough rubbing shoulders with fellow passengers on cramped seats.The expression "rubbing someone up the wrong way" springs to mind.

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  19. Guido Brunetti
    Heart

    Re: Does this mean Paris H is a communist?

    Quote from above:

    "In the event of a drop in cabin pressure, you may find your nether regions are shrinking...."

    Not so! In fact, the reverse will be true. That's why such things as certain feature-enhancing pumps are sold in erotic stores all over the world.

    So a better announcement would be: "In case of a pressure drop you will find that certain oppurtunities offer themselves to you - or should I say "arise"?. Use them quickly and we will guarantee you a happy landing."

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  20. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Shocking

    If people actually pay for that, the economic problems in that region of our glorious country are no longer a mystery. At least the plane will drop near the border to Poland, where you might actually *ahem* get something in return for your 500 bucks. If you just had not already wasted them on being trapped in a plane with 50 naked strangers old enough to miss being naked behind the iron curtain... it will take more than 500 bucks for therapy to get rid of that experience.

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  21. Ed

    @Harry

    "I wonder how much the crew have to pay, to be chosen for that shift?"

    I've seen German tourists. I think the crew will have to pay to *not* be on that shift.

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  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ouch

    Careful with that lapbelt buckle, Eugene; might rip 'em out by the roots.

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  23. Blubster

    Difficult flight?

    I'd expect a flight of this type to be very difficult. In fact, it would be very hard for the first few hundred miles.....

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  24. Mark Scott
    Coat

    Seat reservations

    So do they reserve a seat by putting down their towels?

    ...mine's the birthday suit at the back.

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  25. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Actually...

    "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!"

    It had to be said. Actually came back and now steal sbds human-skin coat.

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  26. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Aisle Seat Dilemma

    There is no way you would want an aisle seat when a 60 y.o contender for the biggest loser says "No need to get up I'll just squeeze past"

    Of course if it is a 25 y.o female aerobics instructor .......

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  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh-oh, Michael O'Leary will LOVE this....

    Just think if Ryanair start this - you're already charged supplements for everything else, now Ryanair will start charging for each item of clothing passengers wear.... or maybe don't wear.....

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  28. heystoopid
    Paris Hilton

    The simple reason for sun lovers camps in the East

    The simplest reason for sun lovers camps in the east was you could wear no wire taps hidden under your clothes and carry around an invisible note book either !

    Puts a new meaning to word come fly with me , that is for sure !

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  29. Geoff Mitchell
    Pirate

    Snakes On The Plane

    in the men's section at least...

    /coat

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  30. nick

    nude flts

    well here's an opportunity for the low cost airlines like the one i work for !!! ...all pax have to travel in the nude unless they pay $8 ..along with meal payment...bag payment ...legroom payment ...coffee payment ..seat allocation payment...etc...etc....they wud make a fortune...especially in Utah !!!

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  31. Siobhan
    Alert

    Naked flight

    I wonder what the "in-flight entertainment" will be :-)

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