back to article US dope farmer in Walmart rattlesnake chomp shock

A Walmart customer required the urgent administration of "six bags of anti-venom" after a rattlesnake sank its fangs into him at a Washington state tentacle of the retail monolith. Mica Craig, 47, was in the store in Clarkston, innocently shopping for some mulch with which to nourish his cannabis plants, which he's "licensed …

COMMENTS

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  1. Schultz

    Good thing...

    he has the pain medication waiting at home.

  2. Gobhicks
    Stop

    You better stay away from Copperhead Road

    Just a pity that a copperhead is a viper and not a rattler...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

      Rattlesnakes are a member of the viper family

      1. Gobhicks

        Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

        I had a feeling that would come back to bite me. Must do more research.

        1. HFoster
          Pint

          Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

          "I had a feeling that would come back to bite me..."

          *rimshot*

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You better stay away from Copperhead Road

        As are Vindscreens...

  3. Armando 123
    Mushroom

    Not quite

    Apparently it was just a member of the management team that tries to offshore their suppliers' manufacturing. Odd it being in Washington state.

  4. Tom 7

    Church of Mamon?

    Dont they just do this for fun on a Sunday over there?

    1. HFoster

      Re: Church of Mamon?

      I think that's way, way, waaay deep in the South. In Uncle-Daddy and Aunty-Momma country.

  5. asdf
    FAIL

    copy editor fail

    Usually El Reg has some of the funniest by lines (sub titles or whatever they are called) on the web but not this article. A horrible tongue twister run on that makes no sense. Fail.

    1. asdf

      Re: copy editor fail

      Chomp Shock really? Those two words go together like a turd in a punchbowl.

    2. Peter Fox
      FAIL

      Re: copy editor fail

      And somebody typed 'monolith' when they meant 'behemoth'.

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Re: copy editor fail

        Er no, I certainly meant monolith. As regards the "turd in a punchbowl", though, nothing to do with me guv.

        1. frank ly

          @Peter Fox Re: copy editor fail

          WalMart is a monolithic behemoth. (I've been looking in one of those dictionary things).

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Intravenous substances?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Title issue

    Doped farmer hopped for a dopper topper mulcher , rather got rattled by a rattler and got doped on anti venom drops.

    Now that sounds better.

    1. asdf
      WTF?

      Re: Title issue

      Wow ok it could have been far worse lol.

  8. Turtle

    "At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident."

    No free snakebite for every customer?

    Drat.

    1. Code Monkey
      Windows

      Targetting the goth market then.

  9. John A Blackley

    Not unusual

    I've seen some 'greeters' at Walmart that looked as if they'd do the same thing as the snake.

  10. Andy Christ

    If You're a Viper

    Dream about a reefer five feet long

    A mighty immense but not to strong

    You'll be high, but not for long

    If you're a viper

    I'm the king if everything

    Well I gotta be high before I can sing

    Light a tee and let it be

    If you're a viper

    Now when your throat get dry

    And you know you're high

    Everything is dandy

    Truck on down to your candy store

    Get you kicks off peppermint candy

    Then you'll know your bodies set

    You don't give a damn about payin' no rent

    The sky is high and so am I

    Whoa ho, if you's a viper

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a pity

    Bet this made his day.

  12. Dick Emery
    IT Angle

    IT angle?

    Trying to find the IT angle here and failing.

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Re: IT angle?

      Oh dear.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: IT angle?

        Almost got it... It's "ODFO".

        (Honestly, didn't the moderatrix give you guys a checklist when she left?)

      2. Montreal Sean

        Re: IT angle?

        Well obviously it's because the rattler bit the guy's hand...

        The Reg. Biting the hand...

  13. LaeMing
    Coat

    I have had it with these goddamn snakes in this goddamn Walmart!

    1. Tankboy
      Pint

      Snakes at the Walmart. Why hasn't Hollywood thought of this?

      1. LaeMing
        Go

        Because everyone would be rooting for the snakes?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    if I was

    licensed to grow cannabis, I'd be soooo happy.

    The Swiss have the right idea.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heck, when I was growing Cannabis, I recall my kitchen became infested with flying snakes who would sing show tunes and wouldn't leave until I covered my head with butter.

    1. Trokair 1
      Coffee/keyboard

      My Thanks

      Thank you for making my day. Needed that laugh.

  16. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    "At this point, it appears to be an isolated incident."

    Oh, except for that mountain lion we had in the BBQ section once.

  17. MrZoolook
    Joke

    Butter on head!

    I once told a by a mate I was suffering with headaches. He suggested that covering your head with with butter was a good cure. I went to the fridge and covered my head with butter and sat back in the lounge talking to my mate. After an hour or so, he asked how my head was. I told him it was still hurting. He laughed and said "I can't believe its not better!"

  18. Boris S.

    There is a reason why he's called a "dope" farmer

    It's not because he is a rocket scientist...

  19. taxman

    This could easily have become

    the snake in the grass

  20. dwieske

    I do wonder what the potgrowing has to do with what happened....

    I sense el reg is moving to replace the news of the world? articles have seen a signigicant drop in quality and a rise in sensationalism....pity

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      News of the World 2

      I note you posted your first comment on El Reg in May 2011. Trust me, the downward spiral of quality and inexorable rise in sensationalism started way before that, if other, long-serving commentards are to be believed.

      1. Svantevid

        Re: News of the World 2

        "the downward spiral of quality and inexorable rise in sensationalism started way before that"

        ---

        To be precise, ecerything went to drain waaay before that: "What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents."

        (Plato, 4th century BCE)

        1. The Indomitable Gall

          Re: News of the World 2

          And "ho registros" responded to the quote by making a re-enactment of a youth tantrum with clay figurines. And pictures of robots.

      2. Trokair 1
        Thumb Up

        Re: News of the World 2

        Well played good sir.

  21. otherdude512
    Thumb Up

    Monolith w/ tentacles, interesting image. Could images be submitted?

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