back to article RIM retracts denial on consumer devices: Pulls out, spins in circle

In an unprecedented retraction of a retraction, a RIM press officer has stated that their company is pulling out of the consumer market "once and for all." Acknowledging that they had denied this fact two days earlier, the RIMmer sighed and said that sometimes people in the press office just made crap up. It's time to tell the …

COMMENTS

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  1. Jeebus

    April Fool jokes don't work on RIM, their schizophrenic management makes everything possible.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      the real April Fool

      Is being told that the Ice Cream Sandwich update would be here in the first quarter.

    2. Robert E A Harvey

      You do the hokey kokey and..

  2. Mr_Pitiful
    Happy

    Ok nearly got me

    check the date

  3. frank ly

    They finally noticed the Elephant in the room.

    About time too.

  4. Snot Rot
    Thumb Up

    ha!

    Had me all the way up to 'cocks on twitter'.

    1. the spectacularly refined chap

      Re: ha!

      Isn't even having a Twitter account basically admitting you're a right cock anyway?

  5. Candy
    Thumb Up

    Last paragraph...

    Genius.

  6. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    Alex (telegraph.co.uk)...

    started to wish his coronary had been more serious. However, the calendar on his Blackberry, being kept charged dutifully by his temp. PA, gave the clue.

    (Nice one, El Reg.)

  7. Simon Rockman

    Ironically

    Forgetting about kids and concentrating on the core strengths is just what they should do.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a blackberry user, I must say I could back this plan. Even the iPhone lacks acceptable options in slavering Alsations - honestly, a reason I haven't yet switched - and with email commoditized, it's an area in which BlackBerry can differentiate itself again.

  9. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Happy

    Wrong day

    You should have saved this one for any day other April 1st. People might think it's a joke.

    1. Robert E A Harvey

      Re: Wrong day

      Thing is, I'm so disinterested in Rim now, I don't care what the stories say, true, enemy action , or spoof.

  10. AbortRetryFail

    Daily Mash

    I thought I was reading the Mash there for a moment. :o)

  11. Timo

    No big deal

    They're not going to be selling many phones, no matter if they're in the market or not. Might as well cut their costs on advertising etc.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    In other news...

    RIM now considers filing a lawsuit against El Reg due to spreading classified information which might scare off potential customers which they so desperately need these days. As such rumor has it that RIM and El Reg are reaching a settlement for several thousands of dollars.

    Source of being obviously the same source as the article itself ;-)

  13. Eddy Ito
    Coat

    What??

    RIM doesn't want cocks on twitter? Capon now, wattle we do for lolz? I've really comb to dislike the way companies feel spurred to coop up their customers.

    1. Irongut
      Headmaster

      Re: What??

      Can someone translate this to English?

      1. Alister

        Re: What??

        @Irongut

        cock - male bird specifically chicken (see rooster)

        capon - a castrated rooster

        wattle - a fleshy growth under the chin of a male chicken

        comb - the fleshy appendage on a male chicken's head

        spurred - the rearward toe of a chicken's foot is often called a spur

        coop - a place where chickens are kept

        HTH

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Coat

          Re: What??

          UNIX - Men who were surgically castrated as boys, often in order to preserve their voices for Church choir performances.

          Wait, hang on a minute...

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Surely it's a better idea

    Than the current Nokia off-the-burning-platform-into-the-fire model?

    (And this is the best of the 01/04s

  15. jubtastic1

    BBM Kids

    Ignoring the joke, there's a whole generation of kids here in the UK* that are seriously addicted to BBM, they will eventually leave school, get jobs and spend money, all RIM has to do is not get left too far behind and have something they'll want to buy.

    Which is probably a tall order, but at least it's possible, unlike retaking the enterprise market, which is a lost cause at this point.

    * Perhaps this is just a UK phenomenon, a chance effect of PAYG txting plans here? Is BBM popular with the kids elsewhere?

    1. Toastan Buttar
      FAIL

      Re: BBM Kids

      Nah, when teens in the UK first started getting mobiles, they all wanted a Nokia. That brand loyalty didn't stay with them when they started getting jobs.

  16. fr3kysnail
    Pirate

    Platinum

    Blackberry consumer phones, are laughable....

    http://1.2.3.11/bmi/www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/pirate_32.png

  17. unlockworldwide

    What day is it?

    Ah ..... spring must have sprung ..... did I just hear the first cuckold of summer?

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