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back to article Ape sanctuary seeks funds for armed Robo Bonobo

An ape sanctuary in the US has posted an unusual request on KickStarter, seeking funds to build a robot ape under its residents' control and to allow members of the public to talk to the primates. The appeal was launched by Ken Schweller, head programmer for the Great Ape Trust in Des Moines, Iowa. The center is home to two …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Squirt guns are easier to automate....

    Why a squirt gun?

    Squirt guns are easier to automate than a poo-thrower.

    Alternatively, given bonobos propensity for copulation.... Maybe the squirt gun should be full of tapioca?

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  2. Cunningly Linguistic
    Paris Hilton

    Given that Bonobo's are the primates that lurve to fuck. It can only be presumed that once they have access to words then it won't be long before we can expect some Mills & Boon bodice rippers from them.

    As far as the robot is concerned, I hear Ann Summers has expressed an interest in partnership with Duracell.

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    1. Mephistro
      Reply Icon
      Headmaster

      Small typo

      "Given that Bonobo's are the other primates that lurve to fuck".

      Fixed.

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  3. Somerset John
    Big Brother

    Oh dear no, this is completely unacceptable, to the religious right at least.

    I am sure the powers that be of the Merkins would far rather support the male dominated warlike chimps than the rather more peaceful and co-operative Bonobo's.

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    1. Graham Marsden
      Reply Icon
      Mushroom

      @Somerset John

      True, but remember that this is also obviously Against God's WIll and Unnatural and a Perversion of the Natural Order of Things since clearly had God meant Chimps to talk he would have given them vocal cords!

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  4. Anomalous Cowturd
    Happy

    Because apes need a laugh...

    The apes at Howlett's Zoo down this way used to take great pleasure in taking large mouthfuls of water and spitting them at their human spectators...

    Really funny if it's not you that cops a hit. ;o)

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  5. Gordon 10

    Omg

    Thats not a robot - that's monkey davros.

    I can just see the mini Dalek bonobos now

    Copulate COPULAAATTE

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    1. James Micallef Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Omg

      @Gordon 10 - well done sir! On your head if I burst out laughing next time I see a Dalek :)

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Omg

      E-jac-u-late E-JAC-U-LAAATTE

      There, fixed it for you

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  6. Rich 11

    Safe?

    > A prototype Robo Bonobo – we're safe so long as we have stairs

    "EL-E-VATE."

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    Holy crap that half-a-bonobo-davros-on-a-cart thing is sheer nightmare fuel!

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  8. saif
    Childcatcher

    Android vs Apple market share amongst bonobos?

    The "Ape"Pad looks like it is running Android, but the baby bonobo liked the iPad. Time for a poll methinks. I heading off the Ape Store...

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    1. Graham Marsden
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      Re: Android vs Apple market share amongst bonobos?

      Groan!

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Why?

    Why bother when you have TomsHardware Forum?

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  10. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    ...using sex rathen than violence...

    Don't know much about bonobos (or other apes for that matter) but as far as I know, sex and violence are not necessarily mutually exclusive.

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