There is no snail.
Errr yeah. I got nothin'.
Frist?
A team of scientists have successfully implanted a bioelectronic fuel cell into a living organism and used its blood sugar to charge a battery. The team from Potsdam, New York's Clarkson University (thankfully nothing to do with Top Gear) implanted a fuel cell that runs off glucose that is naturally produced by the snail, and …
The snails have been found to be breeding like wildfire surrounding nuclear fission power plants, the newly mutated strain can generate a highly effective taser effect.
While they are doing a fantastic job of keeping the nut jobs trying to steal fissile material away from the installations, they are also eating them.
The largest examples are currently 1m in length and unfortunately, posing a problem for the military as they appear to be able to generate a sufficient magnetic field and control it with such dexterity that they are able to deflect conventional military rifle ammunition.
Tanks are currently being brought in to attempt to deal with the problem.
If they can get past the problem of doing this in animals which use hemoglobin, then humans can have our own fuel cells inserted. I like the idea of being my own phone charger, and there must be many other applications. We will become true cyborgs! As an added bonus, the more electricity we use, the more calories we'll burn, so we'll be wired and svelte.
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I'd suggest a single African snail for laptop power and maybe snail clusters for mobes.
But, as with batteries, do these snails get hot with use ?
Placed together in a pocket can they achieve critical mass?
If they do then also include some herbs, butter and garlic - the little mobe prodder will double up as a fork.