1. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Happy

    Mornington Crescent

    Following my own suggestion

    Here's the thread for Mornington Crescent ...

    Monument
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bromley-le-Bow

    1. Sean Baggaley 1

      I object!

      It's Bromley-by-Bow!

      1. Anonymous Coward
  3. Chris Miller
    Thumb Up

    Turnham Green (applying Morton's Fork), does that put me in Nidd?

    Wait till the septics find this thread!

    1. Wilberforce
      Go

      Can we have a ruling on that, please?

      Are we playing Central Standard rules, or the Tudor Court rules, please?

      1. JimmyPage Silver badge

        I refer my learned colleague

        to "NF Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins"

    2. Aaron Em

      The septics aren't surprised

      We've learned to expect this sort of madness from you lot.

      Besides, it's not as though we have any room to complain; so-called "alternate reality games" were invented over here, after all, and compared to that nonsense Mornington Crescent looks like a fine way to pass a dull afternoon.

  4. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

    Q_Q

    The Canadian feels lost and out of place. I am going outside to play hockey now; someone made a rink in the dog park, and I've got a frozen can of pop for a puck...

    1. Sean Baggaley 1
      Headmaster

      BBC Radio 4 series: "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".

      A very funny panel game show.

      It started in the early '70s and has been running ever since, with a short break a couple of years back when its long-running presenter, Humphrey Lyttleton (a well-known jazz musician) passed away. You can find out more details from the usual online sources, so I won't bore you with the details here.

      BBC iPlayer (radio) is your friend: for some inexplicable reason, most of their radio shows can be streamed overseas, although their TV shows can't unless you have the iPad / iPhone "iPlayer Global" app. (It's complicated.)

      I only got into the series a few years ago myself, so it's not a given that every Brit has actually heard of it. It's also quite hit-and-miss as, aside from the presenter, there's no scripted material and not every ad-lib or improvisation can be successful. Even so, it's much funnier than it has any right to be.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge

        I recall hearing the first time Paul Merton appeared on the show, something like this:

        "And now the Mornington Crescent round and as new boy, Paul Merton gets to start us off."

        "I've been listening a bit and I think I understand this. Can I start from any tube station."

        "Yes."

        "What, anywhere at all?"

        "Yes."

        "Right then. Mornington Crescent."

        "A fine win there for Paul Merton!"

        I think this may have been the first time that was done.

      2. mccp
        Thumb Up

        @ Sean:

        The radio shows can be a little hit & miss, but I can highly recommend the collected shows on BBC CDs. These are longer than the broadcast shows as they include bits that were edited out which basically means that the double entendres get ruder and the running jokes run longer. Plus you can listen to them in the car - if it isn't considered too dangerous to be crying with laughter whilst bombing down the autoroute at 130 kph, which is when I usually listen.

        1. TeeCee Gold badge
          Happy

          Laughing while driving? A mate nearly killed himself doing that. He was listening to the radio and there was a phone-in on the theme of "Body modifications you have had cause to regret".

          Someone phoned in to say they knew someone who had the classic crap biro tattoos of "LOVE" and "HATE" on his fingers, just below the knuckle joints. He was a sheet metal worker, had had a nasty moment with the guillotine and ended up with "LOVE" and "HAT"....

          This nearly caused a nasty encounter with a bridge pillar on the M6 at about 90mph.

  5. heyrick Silver badge
    Happy

    So what ARE the rules of this?

    And don't say "google it", that kills discussion...

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      The rules are self-explanatory of course.

      If you do not understand this, you can only play during "free play" time on Tuesday afternoons.

  6. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    @Aaron Em

    But you could just as easily play your own version - after all, why do you think Manhatten was laid out that way ? In fact, now I come to think of it, I'm sure a lot of movies set in New York are subtly playing anyway.

    "Broadway and 43rd".

    1. Visible Otters

      @JimmyPage

      I'm not familiar with the international rules, but presumably unless you're the nub holder I can still take us back to the northern line? Therefore: Clapham Common.

  7. MJI Silver badge

    Never heard of it

    What is it?

  8. Magnus_Pym

    Sorry if it's the obvious move but...

    ... Angel

  9. Mike Smith

    Too obvious

    Because I can just wrong-road on the avoiding line and put you well and truly in huff:

    Embankment.

    1. Richard North

      But then...

      But then I'll just go to Tower Hill

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Huffed at Embankment? Pointless.

    Being one of the small number of stations where two lines run in parallel, I can simply travel one stop north on the Northern Line to Charing Cross and then immediately one stop south on the Bakerloo. BAM! Instant auto-triangulation round a short loop.

    So, Embankment again, but not in huff this time.

  11. Mike Smith

    Doesn't matter because...

    Indeed, very well played sir. A classic auto-triangulation.

    Except that <gentle cough> you're now facing the wrong way.

    And because the previous move reached the end of the Circle line, I can claim one additional platform, make an occulting turn at Holborn and jump over to

    Goodge Street.

    (Spivey's Adjudication, October 1973, Berlin All-Comers, I believe)

  12. Bernard M. Orwell

    No, that's not right...

    You WILL be in huff! You can't cross parallels like that when moving vertically! We've already decided we're playing Stovald's, and Morton's Fork has been previously applied in this round.

    I think you need to go again.

    1. Mike Smith

      Yes, but

      Can't he just step back one block and wait at the calling-on signal? Would have the same effect (two changes of direction when moving between zones on a green).

      Err, I think. Is there an adjudicator here?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Gentlemen, I think you have overlooked to keep abreast of the latest engineering circular.

        I can see the source of your confusion, as it is a little-used rule, but you must have forgotten that there are currently escalator replacement works underway at Charing Cross, and this permits me to invoke Petherington's Limited Disabled Access Exemption! So I was simply able to reverse direction by performing an axial gyration at the midpoint of the journey; there was no need to cross parallels and Morton's Fork is irrelevant to the case.

        However, as Mike so ably pointed out, I was still facing the wrong direction, which is why I did not contest the point.

  13. gribbler

    Doesn't the move to Goodge Street..

    leave open to the intra-connection omnibus rule?

    Straight to Notting Hill Gate, and an extra bonus move.

  14. Mike Smith

    Damn.

    OK, I now have to overdouble on a crossing. Lose one carriage to put you in swing:

    Perivale.

  15. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    I think I'm going to borrow Graham Garden's great move, that got him sacked from London Underground in the early 90s:

    Cockfosters.

  16. jake Silver badge
    Pint

    Larkspur Ferry (Golden Gate rules ... which can be strange).

    Pints all 'round at Fog City Diner.

  17. Mike Smith

    A bridge amendment, eh?

    OK, I'll invoke a Nomenclature Recovery and pass through to:

    London Bridge.

  18. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    But it's falling down...

    Hmm, many interesting options here. London Bridge has a river pier, so one might play the Lighterman's defence, slide along the Thames and come in the DLR...

    But I think I'll go for Doberman's Escape, and so my move is:

    Heffalump & Castle

  19. Mike Smith

    Bad memories

    A brave move indeed! I once got caught up the Elephant & Castle by the Chinese master Dung Bung. Never again.

    Instead, a simple river crossing:

    Morden.

  20. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    A river runs through it

    Erm. which river did you cross? They're both South of The River [tm]. Or did you go via the Limpopo? I believe we need a ruling on this. Has the chairman fallen asleep?

    I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with the fiendish Chinese Master. I had heard that in Soviet Russia, the dragon enters you. But I'd never believed it until now.

    1. Sean Timarco Baggaley

      Easy...

      ... the Effra!

  21. jake Silver badge
    Pint

    Elephant & Castle? You must be joking.

    Highbury Crescent^W & Islington [1][2].

    Beers all around at the Hope & Anchor. (Yes, I know it's not the same as it was when I was hanging out there in the late 1970s and early '80s ... I'm just being nostalgic here.)

    [1] See why I see no need for strike?

    [2]Yes, I know how physically close that is to the actual MC ;-)

  22. Mike Smith

    I see where this is going

    Oh, I beat Mr Bung in the end. Managed to invoke a Take-Away Return and left him on the Dollis Hill loop stuck behind an engineering train with adverse possession. That'll learn 'im.

    It counts as a simple river crossing if you don't reverse direction until you reach the end of the line OR change platforms at a junction. I was going to over-double at Stockwell, but would have risked being in nip to our friend waiting at the Elephant & Castle (Stovald, 3.11.25.16. para 2 if memory serves).

    So let's pull a Stuart Retreat:

    Royal Oak.

  23. TeeCee Gold badge

    Oh that's too easy!

    Hammersmith.

    Stitch that!

  24. Mike Smith

    Ouch! OK then

    An Overground clinch:

    Tottenham Court Road.

  25. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Ah, a mistake I think

    4 'T' s in a move and crossing the diagonal. That can only mean one thing:

    Neasden

    And I believe that's home in 2, unless you have a cunning plan.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know what this is about

    But I'm enjoying it.

  27. Mike Smith

    Blinder

    A very cunning move! I don't think that's been done in middle game since the Jubilee Line was opened. Looks like you're on a roll though, so:

    Swiss Cottage.

    Ha!

  28. jake Silver badge

    That was a cheesy move.

    Thus forcing me to invoke the Vivian Stanshall exception:

    Rawlinson End.

  29. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    Tricky...

    Hmmm... give me a second to smoke this pipe...

    Aha! I do believe S. W. Geke's Alliterative Childhood Ravishment Fulmination applies here, so...

    Jar-Jar Junction.

    Your move, gentlemen!

  30. jake Silver badge

    Smooth ...

    I think the closest I can get to the movie set is Uxbridge.

    Probably a mistake on my part, but there you have it.

  31. Mike Smith

    Smoother...

    Except that's on the wrong side of the one-way system, which means a Contra-Bifurcation to draw level.

    So I'll invoke a Double Kubrick and pass on four:

    Bushey.

  32. jake Silver badge

    &? Your point?

    I believe the Tulip rules clearly indicate a return to Zone 1.

    Barbican.

  33. Mike Smith

    Smoothest

    Nicely done, sir. The alcohol-free zone covers the whole of the sub-surface lines though, which means that according to the latest pricing structure for off-peak travel, there's no penalty for stopping at Zone 2 with the DLA on hold.

    Which gives me a choice here. I could possibly call a Thameslink Divide and come back in on the Metropolitan line, which would seem to force a follow-on at Angel, but that means I stop at the end of the block and risk being in Nidd.

    So instead I think I'll go for Rafferty's gambit:

    Baker Street.

  34. jake Silver badge

    Age before beauty? I think not.

    Kilburn.

    Oh ... Wait ... make that The Highroads High Barnet.

    I'll probably lose a turn in Knaresborough Castle's dungeon for that one ...

  35. Mike Smith

    Didn't think I looked that old.

    So I'll just go back to school:

    Grange Hill.

  36. This post has been deleted by its author

  37. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    No other move will do

    It's got to be Stebson's Gripper - how could I play anything else?

    So I'll spin back off the loop, to:

    Theydon Bois

    If anyone's caught lisping, touching or groping at this point then they'll have Samantha to answer to! As well as being in Spoon, and possibly in chokey.

  38. Mike Smith

    Essex is not the only way

    A brave move, Mr !Spartacus. I can either lose a pilot engine and reverse in the loop, or continue knowing that you'll overtake at the next junction. Should have spotted that before... thinks, thinks...

    Ah, of course. This is a risky move, and far be it from me to risk the wrath of the lovely Samantha at this stage in the game, but I appear to have no other option. Time to play the Ecologist's Conversion:

    Turnham Green.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  39. jake Silver badge

    Turnham Green? Hmmmm ...

    Shirley Kew Gardens?

    Might be another Tulip Rule violation there ... And I think this round is on you, if I read the rules correctly. On the bright side, from your perspective, I'm just a Yank, so I've probably lost something in translation. Wouldn't be the first time, nor will it be the last.

    During the meanwhile, I'll side-step the issue ... Gunnersbury

  40. Mike Smith

    But we too are allowed arms for defence

    Or so the Bill of Rights says.

    So a reversed wrong-road at South Kensington (allowed under the Museum Amendments 1976, ratified by the Stovald Committee's Fourth Article on 26th August 1977) even though the Tulip Rules originally mandated go-around at Heathrow takes me straight to:

    Arsenal.

  41. jake Silver badge

    Oh, arse.

    Clearly, Sir, you are a better man than I.

    But I must riposte. The fine print of the third Fizzbin clause in the Original Handbook suggests that getting to Hyde Park Corner, then taking a cab to St. James Park is a valid move at this point.[1]

    Obviously, from there: Temple.

    Ha!

    [1] Sorry, I've had entirely too much email. I had to give my fellow Yanks a hint. That probably puts me in Nidd permanently ... On the other hand, I'm kinda surprised TheMods@ElReg haven't closed this thread in the obvious manor ;-)

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Oh, arse.

      This game will continue until Samantha blows my horn, or I lose the will to live. Whichever comes first.

      But please get on with it. I've got a gig in Hull in 2013.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Hull? Your face is familiar ...

        Pass me the last of the summer wine, Cato ... Things might get ugly.

        This sub-thread could get daft ... And I warn you, I won't get fooled again!

        Turnham Green.

  42. Mike Smith

    Oh, they all look like that in Hull

    Gentlemen, the lovely Samantha has been known to reanimate the dead with the flicker of an eyelash. It's no good losing the will to live; you don't escape from the Northern line that easily.

    I'm unsure whether Jake's move to Turnham Green is a compliment, a threat or just an attempt to make me envious.

    So I'll redouble on escalators, take a PlusBus and go where I can see for miles:

    High Barnet.

  43. jake Silver badge

    In reverse order:

    I have no ego in this forum. I never threaten. Must be a compunment ... SWMBO has convinced[0] me that The Lovely Samantha no longer has any affect on jake (note the lower case "j" ... it's an ego thing[1]).

    Hansom Cab to Hackney, and on to Abbey Road.

    [0] Side one, track two ... and THAT is no joke ;-)

    [1] amanfromMars will probably now spontaneously combust ...

  44. jake Silver badge

    After a week+, obviously there is only one option.

    Mornington Crescent.

    Onwards & upwards ...

  45. Magnus_Pym

    Correct me if I'm wrong...

    ...I only have the twelve volume 'Shorter M-C reference' (I'm saving up for Thriblow's 'Combined Intrinsic), but doesn't the extended delay allow a call of Fotheringay's Myopia Recompense? In this case I think that would lead to Old Street wouldn't it?

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Correct me if I'm wrong...

      I believe that's a short-sighted opinion (see the John Peel Collection), leading to something soft & cuddly.

      Paddington.

      1. Magnus_Pym

        Re: Correct me if I'm wrong...

        or, if Derbyshire's recycling provision has not been redacted.

        Wimbledon

        1. jake Silver badge

          That'll cost you a pint of mild, mate.

          Recycling's all very well and good ... as long as it's yeast. But Man does not live by beer alone, bread is important. You can take that to the ...

          Bank

          1. TeeCee Gold badge

            Re: That'll cost you a pint of mild, mate.

            Bank? In the rush hour? On a Tuesday? That's just asking for a quick trip down the Yuppies' Train Set to:

            Royal Victoria

  46. jake Silver badge

    Damn! I forgot it was Tuesday on that side of the pond ... Mea culpa.

    But seriously, Royal Victoria? At this time of year? Not in these shoes ...

    Rayners Lane

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Damn! I forgot it was Tuesday on that side of the pond ... Mea culpa.

      Rayners Lane......Claire Rayner.......Agony Aunt......Agony......Torture Chamber........Chamber of Horrors.......

      Baker Street!

      Of course, that leaves me with the Harrow Dilemma: Whether to alight at Harrow-on-the-Hill and chance the faster Watford train turning up soon enough to save a few minutes, or just stick with the stopping service out of Uxbridge........

      1. jake Silver badge

        Ouch!

        Sounds like a trip to Harley Street may be in order.

        Regent's Park

  47. Roger Greenwood

    The DLR has been largely ignored . . .

    . . but a Tactical Order of Battle move, at Shadwell, would be a STOB.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: The DLR has been largely ignored . . .

      Nice move!

      But I think you'll find (reading the Dr. Dobbs variations) that most are veritytually unanimous in this scenario. Which, of course, leads us to 'er next door, in all 'er glory.

      Wapping.

  48. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Megaphone

    We'll have to restart the game I'm afraid ...

    Since Brompton Road has come back online.

  49. Caleb Cox (Written by Reg staff)

    Complete discombobulation for a young'un like me. People who confuse me can go to hell.

    I'm sure you're All Saints, though.

  50. jake Silver badge

    Me? A Saint? Pfaugh.

    Blackfriars ... & I'm sure The Lovely Patricia Holm agrees with me.

    Take that, youngster!

  51. BoldMan

    after a bit of a lay off...

    I would like to include the siderial depleneration option and plump for

    Norton Folgate

    Ha, that got ya!

  52. Blofeld's Cat

    Shame...

    Had we been playing the original Edwardian Rules then I could have called Seymour Street at this point.

    Oh well - Archway.

  53. jake Silver badge

    The wife points out ...

    When playing Archway at the current phase of the moon, the infamous February 29th rules of 1964 (that we never talk about in public) probably apply ... And to my way of thinking, she's correct. Thus, obviously, North Greenwich.

  54. Blofeld's Cat

    Moon phase...

    Best keeping away from the 29/2/64 controversy I find. Especially now that some newer players claim that the Jubilee Gambit overrides the arguments of both parties.

    Got to be Westminster at this point, although I feel I've missed something obvious.

  55. jake Silver badge

    Good call, Señor/ita Cat.

    I forgot about the Jubilee Gambit! Brain-fart on my part, and a good move on your part.

    Regardless, what you missed is my obvious response: Waterloo. (See the Penzance section of the Major-General's "pirate rules" for clarification.)

  56. Blofeld's Cat

    Pirate rules...

    Ah yes, of course. I'd completely overlooked Mansion House being huffed. Nice move.

    How to respond? Well I suppose I could go for a Rushton's retrograde and call Angel, but I'm not sure that's advisable without the orange rule being declared first. I'd better go for safety.

    Regents Park.

  57. jake Silver badge

    It's the weekend.

    Safe and comfy with a beer at home is always a good thing :-)

    Might not send up fireworks in everybody's mind, but: Swiss Cottage.

  58. Roger Greenwood

    Tricky

    As we have already used Swiss Cottage once, I believe my only move is an Elsworthy Reversal:-

    Chalk Farm

  59. jake Silver badge

    'twas late on a weekend evening. Comfy is good :-)

    In penance for my lazyness, Liverpool Street.

  60. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    Liverpool Street?

    Okay, it's taken me two weeks to think of my next move.

    My wife suggested Tottenham Court Road, but then my brother reminded me that I'm not married and I must have forgotten to take my pills again. So scratch that.

    I do believe I still have an "Obscure Media Reference" card to play, so, I'll need my passport to get to...

    Pimlico.

  61. This post has been deleted by its author

  62. jake Silver badge

    I have spotters at Old Hilltop most spring weekends ...

    It's not quite June here in California ... the Wife & I had a totally home-grown Insalata Caprese as a starter for chow tonight ... Tomatoes, onions, basil & mozzarella were harvested/made here at the ranch, today. Nice to have a working garden and dairy.

    Unfortunately, given the above & reading the "Martha Stewart incarceration pamphlet", my only true option is Kew Gardens. Can anyone get me out of this 'orrible fix?

  63. TeeCee Gold badge

    Kew Gardens eh?

    Curse the rampant foliage at this time of year! It's a jungle out there[1] and that said from my vantage point in the Palm House too.

    Overground moves only I'm afraid as I neglected to pack a machete. Willesden Junction.

    [1] Although a very well kept and neatly manicured jungle, it has to be said.

  64. jake Silver badge

    About halfway into the Transit of Venus here in Sonoma ...

    I rigged up a camera obscura in the kitchen, so we could watch it as we prepped supper. Pinhole in a bit of over exposed film, taped over a hole in a piece of cardboard. 112 inches away, a sheet of white cardboard. Provides an image about an inch in diameter ... The wife is fascinated. She's never seen this kind of thing.

    Unfortunately, I think that the Lick Solar Rules means that her ignorance puts her firmly in Nidd until December, 2117. So it sucks to be me ... On the otherhand, I think the same rules say I have to go to Greenwich, which I think I've already used in this round, so I have to join her in Nidd :-)

  65. Roger Greenwood

    Anniversary

    Bit of an Enigma there, being before 23rd June. Without a crib, and possibly not hatted, I can't be sure of the Baltic Traffic, so will play a Twinn inversion (thanks to the Kendrick insight) :-

    Canary Wharf

  66. spungo

    Solstice

    As it is Solstice, am I allowed to invoke McClusky's Gambit? I'll try anyway:

    Kennington

  67. Roger Greenwood

    Cracking!

    You nearly had be Steckered there, lucky I saw the Flowers exit.

    Although we are nowhere near Foss Day, I believe I can take 2133 steps back to school :-

    Grange Hill

  68. This post has been deleted by its author

  69. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    Right, I'm back! I'd give it a few minutes if I were you.

    And I'd definitely give the fish course a miss.

    Where were we? Ah yes: Grange Hill. Nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. (Mr. Bronson. Mrs. McCluskey. Pills. Not a good combination. I'm still having therapy.)

    I think I'll make use of the Travaglia Manoeuvre, which should get me to...

    >> CLICKETY! <<

    Oh him? He's my boss. Bit the worse for wear, I'm afraid. I don't what he was drinking.

    Great Scott! I appear to have accidentally violently torn off my boss' glasses and hurled them onto that nice, shiny, rail over there. Yes, that one there, sitting on top of the shiny white ceramic mountings.

    Give me a moment while I push him off help him down to track level while nobody's looking...

    >> BZZZEEEEERT! <<

    Why no, officer! I have absolutely no idea what he was thinking!

    The CCTV cameras were conveniently on the blink, were they? Gosh! How unfortunate!

    No, no, no, officer! I swear, he stumbled, dropped his glasses and, before I could say anything, the poor fellow had leapt down from the platform to fetch them!

    Where was I? Ah yes:

    East Finchley!

  70. jake Silver badge

    A ripping of the cosmic fabric[1] ...

    ... somehow managed to shift the Wife & I out of Nidd over a century early. Landing us in ... East Finchley? WTF? The wife & I need a swift pint & a bite to eat ... Brixton.

    [1]http://cosmicdiary.org/fmarchis/2012/09/10/another-fireball-on-jupiter/

  71. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quick exit

    Hmmm. Smack-head dodging in the morning. Pull a half-pike to pimlico. Brisk walk to google, meander through green park for the crisp autumn air. Off to canary wharf chaps.

    1. dogged

      Re: Quick exit

      Shit. Somebody went there.

      Dollis Hill.

      Sorry.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Quick exit

        Cricklewood, Shirley?

  72. dogged

    Well played.

    Swiss Cottage.

  73. jake Silver badge

    I think that puts you in Nidd ...

    ... Swiss Cottage having been played previously.

    On the bright side, it's a short walk from Knaresborough to The Mile Post for a pint ... and they have an actual fireplace for you to dry out in front of.

    So, obviously, York.

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know ... but I like steam trains :-)

  74. Mike Smith

    Four months less one day

    And with a timetable amendment now in operation on the Charing Cross Branch, I think we can all break from Nidd and move to the next advanced starter:

    Perivale.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Four months less one day

      When I hear/read "advanced starter" I always think "levain".

      Thus, obviously, Blackfriars.

      1. Mike Smith

        Re: Four months less one day

        Sneaky. I haven't seen a Downstream Re-entry done like that for a long time. Particularly as the tide is out. And the DLR is unguarded, too.

        Therefore, I'll play it cautious, with an opposing diagonal:

        Whitechapel.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Whitechapel?

          You probably missed the Church Quango Rule ... on the bright side, there is an easy out. I'll meet you down the docks ... Crossharbour.

          Y,y,y, I know ... but somebody needs to educate the kiddies ;-)

          1. Mike Smith

            mmmkay....

            That was a crafty move.I did indeed miss.it And I note with the platforms on both sides, you're trying to force me into swing.

            Now then... a quick look at Stovald suggests I could step over the zone crossing by wrong-roading for one block, but that gives you a chance to advance to the Metropolitan line using Bazalgette's recursion.

            OK, I'll risk it:

            Piccadilly Circus.

  75. jake Silver badge

    Seems there was a signalling error over in "El Reg matters" ...

    ... and it's been over two months since the last venture. I dunno if I'm reading the "Baden-Powell Cheat-Sheet" incorrectly, but I think that means we have to restart at Gloucester Road.

    1. Corinne
      Alert

      Re: Seems there was a signalling error over in "El Reg matters" ...

      Restart at Gloucester Road? Depends surely on the moon phase - waning at the moment so shouldn't the restart be at Kensal Green?

      1. Mike Smith

        Re: Seems there was a signalling error over in "El Reg matters" ...

        I think we can restart at any station that allows bi-directional running off-peak, irrespective of the moon phase as I'm sure you're allowed a step entry on sub-surface lines.

        Best check, though. Has anyone got a copy of Stovald to hand? I've left mine at home.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Stovald be damned!

          We're clearly going off at a tangent ...

          Epping. Has to be. From there, the world is your oyster.

  76. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    With an impressive delay of a year and a day

    Only the Northern Gambit is permitted: West India Quay.

    Get out of that without moving (noting that it is *not* served by DLR trains from Bank before 2100 on Mondays to Fridays).

  77. Mike Smith

    No move needed

    You forgot to block the junction at the other end:

    Westferry.

    (OK, so it's a one-platform strike, but that's allowed under the East End Extension codiciles)

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: No move needed

      ::blinks::

      The only obvious move is the boring Charing Cross strategy ... at least if I'm reading the liner notes in the original Dire Straits "Wild West End" single correctly ... You have to squint, but the truth is there.

  78. Mike Smith

    Charing Cross?

    The truth is indeed there - codified in the 1971 Fifth Quarter Amendment after the High Wycombe All-Comers ended in a draw and the players in Zone 1 had to move to hump-shunting arbitration. Seems it all got a bit messy after the second player to move misread the signals and ran over open catch points.

    So now it becomes very easy:

    Lancaster Gate.

  79. Roger Greenwood

    July

    The heat is rising.

    The trains arrive in a rush of stale but cool air.

    The relief.

    You wouldn't want to go far :- Bond Street

  80. Roger Greenwood

    Invoking the 21 day rule

    Since it is 3 weeks since my last posting, I believe I am entitled to re-post with a second attempt to perform the Yaesu Deltic manoeuvre, made famous by Teddy Petter (who was able to do this in a Canberra II). Not easy I know, and sometimes hard to see the wood for the trees just 2 stops along :- Debden

  81. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Devil

    Good grief! Is this still going on? I've got a gig in Hull next Thursday?

    Mornington Crescent!

    Anyone's been able to say it for at least the last 7 moves, if only you'd bothered to read your 'Mornington Crescent for Dummies' by Rushton and Lyttleton.

    Even Tim Brook-Taylor's 'My First Baby Book of Mornington Crescent - New Prince George Edition' covers this! And that was written in crayon, during one of his regular stays at Broadmoor. Well they say it was crayon, I've not seen many crimson crayons myself, they never did find where he hid the stolen kitchen knives... The smudged bits are probably just dribble though. It's amazing how no-one in the audience ever comments on the straight-jacket - and of course you can't see it on the radio. They replace Samantha with the rippling Sven only when he's having one of his dangerous periods.

    As far as I know, the rule goes back to the original Greensleeves edition - so named as Henry VIII wiped his nose on his doublet while signing the original manuscript, and smeared bogies on the title page. It's Wolseley's Offence - and possibly one of the reasons Henry had him executed - that and wanting to nick his lovely palace at Hampton Court. I don't believe it's ever been superseded, so long as no signals cross-phasing has taken place at any time in the round.

    I guess the next thing to do, is play a game of Bordeaux?

    1. jake Silver badge

      I made that move here:

      http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/1334459

      That puts you firmly in Nidd.

      For some reason, it doesn't seem to work as advertised in this medium. So ... Clapham North.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        jake Old Chap,

        I'm never in Nidd! One would never do something so indecorous (if not positively disgusting). I prefer to consider it a state of an under-abundance of non-Niddness. One must try to maintain standards don't-yer-know.

        I'm not sure quite why your original declaration of Mornington Crescent wasn't accepted by the chairman. Perhaps he's asleep? But by my reckoning you should have declared a crowned-and-consummated right there, and thus had irreversible title to the win. Hence the game would have had to be re-started.

        But seeing as that didn't happen, you allowed another move to be made - and so forfeited your chance of the win. Now obviously Morton (the double-strike without clearing rule) would normally apply here, meaning that it's virtually impossible to ever clear Mornington Crescent and so therefore the game can never end. However, only a mad sadist would implement the rules in that way. Exactly who is the chairman anyway?

        On an unrelated note - wine, cava, beer or margaritas tonight?

        1. jake Silver badge

          @IaS ...

          The lovely Samantha says (with a ::wink::) that nobody's immune to being in Nidd, not even her lovely self. Your move is thus declared invalid, according to the rarely used Ilkley Moor rule, as published in "The Dalesman" in 1978 (October issue, I think ... naturally, it was raining).

          The Chairman doesn't seem to understand this medium ... Kinda like most management. According to an RFC I read awhile back, I think HE'S in Nidd, too, as a direct result.

          Tonights booze of choice? Wine. We thieved from three barrels of my 2011 crush[1] ... a Pin-Grig, a Cab-Sauv, and a Merlot. None are quite ready for bottling, but all are coming along quite nicely :-)

          Anyway, my move of Clapham North stands, unless someone can show otherwise.

          [1] NHRA big-wigs are in town, and paid an arm & a leg for the privilege ... They all split half an hour ago ... I just finished walking the dawgs, and am about to open a Lagunitas Maximas IPA to erase the memory of the pompous assholes who know nothing about wine. May I pour you one?

  82. Roger Greenwood

    Ilkley Moor

    Is a long way from Clapham North, and even has a famous song based there (without hat). Yet a hat is just what you need on the wild and desolate moors depicted by local artist Ashley Jackson, who now lives in Holmfirth.

    My own favourite Yorkshire song "Pratty Flowers" is also known as the Holmfirth anthem, the whole area being founded on the wool trade and the consequent growth of toll roads, hence :-

    Turnpike Lane

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Ilkley Moor

      That's "On Ilkla Moor Baht 'at" ...

      On the other hand, have a butchers at the fourteenth appendix to John Smith's commentary on Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales", which points out that miss-using local dialect suggests that there is only one return option:

      Bow Road.

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        Re: Ilkley Moor

        Since I am in possession of a legally held and genuine 'Ilkley Moor' accent, *and* I know all the words, I believe that gives me the option that's staring us all in the face:

        East Finchley.

  83. jake Silver badge

    It's summer solstice, and it has been ...

    ... nearly three years since anyone made a move. I believe that calls for a reset-from-center, according to the droopy (some would say soggy) Greenwich handbill of 1974.

    Kibblesworth.

  84. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Paddington (Bishop's Road).

    (Was considering King's Cross as it would have been the shortest distance from Kibblesworth, but one of the termini seemed more appropiate. Not that it matters anyway.)

    1. jake Silver badge

      Shortest distance from Kibblesworth would be ...

      ... Epping.

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: Shortest distance from Kibblesworth would be ...

        Today, yes.

        Since Kibblesworth was your opening move I assumed you were referring to the test tunnel the Metropolitan Railway dug there in 1855 prior to building the first part of what would later become the London Underground. The Met's grand opening was on 9 January 1863 with a ceremonial run from Paddington to Farringdon - so I thought I'd choose my first move from the stations on the original Met network line.

        So, Epping. Interesting.

        High Barnet.

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