Nato secrets USB stick lost in Swedish library

Your mission, Jim ......

"Some can even self-destruct (internally) and erase everything on the drive using technology that physically overwrites every byte, making the data entirely unrecoverable. "

Obviously there should be a puff of white smoke to go with it :)

PS Article doesn't say which country the stick belonged to

Eh?

"military-grade AES hardware-based encryption"

As opposed to the other sort? No, wait, AES is a standard, so it's the same everywhere.

Jumping on the bandwagon...

2008: the year of the "Oops! I've lost all your secret/personal data, silly me!" news headline. And the UK still leads the way in Europe (nay they world?) by a rather large margin.

Media problems

The data-loss problem that governments/businesses are currently experiencing can entirely be attributed to the small size of data media nowadays. A single USB stick or DVD can hold massive databases of customer information, credit card numbers, or classified secrets; and can be placed within a coat pocket, glove box, library book, down the back of the sofa, anywhere likely to be forgotten.

That's where my solution comes in. I will soon be launching my range of unlosable(tm) memory sticks. Each stick contains 16gb of data (more than enough for NATO troop movement maps, adult product customers' credit card details, taxpayer's intimate details) and is embedded within a 150kg block of granite, embossed with your country's flag or logo of your choice. The block is painted flourescent green and a flashing light and klaxon are activated when data is first written to the stick. There are also attachments for optional handcuffs, for permanent connection with the junior civil servant / delivery boy of your choice.

old-style "security"

I'd propose doing what we do with important key bunches... attach whopping great big day-glo tags to them so that they can't be pocketed and stand out like a sore thumb when set down anywhere... that way, you can't accidentally take them home in your pocket...

Outsourcing

I didn't know HMRC been contracted out to lose nato/swedish data as well.

I'll get my long brown coat (and go sit on a bench muttering "red squirrel looks east in October")

,,,,embedded within a 150kg block of granite..

I think God still has the patent on the block of granite idea...

@ken hagan ...

How to hand it in?

Make your own copy of it, then post it anonymously to [journalist|embassy] of your choice.

Even more important question...

Why the hell did the original, unknown, user put classified NATO data on a memory stick in the first place? Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ, didn't anyone involved with setting up what must be a fairly complex NATO defense network ever stop to think about allowing users to make copies on removable media?

I mean, there are literally thousands of different ways to make secure dumb terminals, encrypted transfers, multi-token authentication, etc, etc, etc. Does NATO not have a single competent BOFH?

Hell, do they accept unsolicited resumes for high ranking positions? I could do better. Or, at least fake it better, which is basically the same thing.

Unlosable...

The keys to the dark room and centrifuge room in my old department were tied to 2 liter plastic bottles (empty, of course), so no idio... I mean student would stick it in the pocket, forget about it, take it home, lose it... Maybe 2 liter PET bottle should be made into military grade stuff too?

@Even more important question

Did anyone else mis-read that as Lap Dancing, or is it just reflection on me.

Have you a long one in asbestos, I think I going somewhere hot for eternity

re Unlosable...

You could have just attached the keys directly to the student. Then not only would you be able find them ( if time<11:00am = bed else = bar )

but with a bit of training you could make them come to you when you whistle, like those key rings that beep when you lose them.

I wonder if

since they generally have internet connected computers in libraries if someone hadn't just downloaded the lot and stuck it on a usb stick and then forgot to take it with them. I think that makes it more interesting than just a lost usb fob.

still get lost....

Beancounters said we used up too many pens at our media library. So on instruction from managers I taped and glued a length of small link chain to a pen leading to a lump of wood and yes still got lost. Started to glue them inside a 3 foot length of bamboo thinking pockets are not that deep; worked for a while untill someone thought they were 'cool' .........The epoxy glue cost more than a box of cheap pens.

Then finally a 'old' PC and printer were used to print out media library request slips details which were typed in another system when media was handed over.

Eh.

I'd be more intrigued as to what NATO secrets are doing waltzing around in a neutral country.

Gun drives

give them top secret flash drives in the shape of a gun to make it more obvious how they should be treated.