back to article Huge potentially inhabited water lake found on Jupiter moon

In major extra-terrestrial news, scientists have announced the first discovery of at least one huge body of liquid water beyond planet Earth, offering confirmation at last of a potential offworld habitat for alien life. The water in question - roughly enough to fill one of the North American Great Lakes - has been spotted …

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  1. Steve Knox
    Alien

    ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS

    EXCEPT EUROPA.

    ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.

    1. kwhitefoot
      Thumb Up

      Damn it,

      beat me to it!

    2. Daniel B.
      Thumb Up

      ... and the first ship to land there will be trashed by a weird giant ice-worm...

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I WAS BORN IN A WATER MOON

      Some people, especially its inhabitants, called it a planet, but as it was only a little over two hundred kilometres in diameter “moon’ seems the more accurate term.

    4. bigphil9009

      Perfect man, just perfect.

      (And what an example of seredipity - that your post managed to score the 1st post, all of the subsequent 2010 quotes have been made to look a bit silly :D)

  2. ScissorHands
    Pint

    Another SF story proven correct

    cf. Arthur C. Clarke's "2010"

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA

    ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.

  4. Ryan 7

    ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA

    ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE

    1. Mike Flugennock

      All these worlds are yours, except--

      --ALRIGHT! WE'VE _DONE_ THAT!

  5. Darryl
    Boffin

    Before anyone asks

    According to the US EPA, the average volume of one of the great lakes is 22,573 cubic kilometers, so about 9,029,200,000 Olympic swimming pools.

    You're welcome

  6. jubtastic1
    Trollface

    Has anyone mentioned 2010 yet?

    Can't remember the quote, was something about EUROPA though.

    1. Darryl

      We'll be the Pirate Twins again.

      EURRRROOOOOPAAAAA

      No wait, that was Thomas Dolby

  7. Franklin
    FAIL

    ALL THESE SPACECRAFT ARE YOURS

    EXCEPT THE ONES THAT HAVE THE SCARY WORD "NUKE-U-LAR" IN THEM. ATTEMPT NO LANDING WITH THEM.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Thank you

      I wish I could upvote this one a couple hundred times. PETA, Greenpeace, and the rest of the illiterate treehuggers need to be the first into the black hole.

      1. Mike Flugennock
        Thumb Up

        speaking as a tree hugger (re: JIMO probe)...

        ...I've mentioned my position on this in one of the Cassini threads, so I can only add JEEZUS H. CHRIST, YOU GUYS! IT'S NOT A WEAPONS SYSTEM! IT'S GOING TO FRICKIN' _JUPITER_, F'CRIPESAKE! NOTHING FRICKIN' _LIVES_ THERE! GET A GODDAMN' _GRIP_, ALREADY!

        Phew. Thanks. I feel better now.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes, let's all parrot Lewis Page's take on the cancellation (far better than thinking for ourselves, after all):

      "In the end, however, following protest over the idea of spacegoing reactors (and also for cost reasons) Jimo was cancelled."

      Far more likely, however, is that NASA and partners were skint after yet another budget cut, made so that bankers and the finance industry can still have their champagne and hand-jobs, and so that the military and parasite industries can "splurge" on more war.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Don't pump enriched Uranium into the sky!

        Pump depleted Uranium onto sand denizens!

  8. Wile E. Veteran
    Joke

    Not a 2010 quote!

    UNLEASH THE KRAKEN! THE EARTHLINGS ARE COMING!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    I for one welcome....

    Our tentacled, soggy Europan overlords!!

    1. Grifter

      What, the French?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yep - the life is right over there ...

    ... right next to the life we found on Mars.

    Oh, wait.

  11. Denarius
    Stop

    now we have had our fun, calm down

    the liquid below may be somewhat unpleasant to organics, let a lone life. Hydrogen peroxide from the surface ice radiation reactions and the possibility of geothermal vents making a sulphuric acid bath. One for the chemistry students. What would the resulting chemical broth be like ?

    Lots of precipitating salts I suspect.

    1. KrisMac
      Boffin

      Lots of precipitating salts....

      ...along with a few bundles of hydrocarbons and a little bit of heat energy and what do we get???

      mmm... perhaps not so unpleasant for organics after all if what grows around Earths geothermal vents is anything to go by....

      1. Denarius
        Meh

        not quite

        Gunk. Don't see how you get to life from that mix. carbon stains in sulphate deposits are more likely. You make the common assumption life is self assembling. The peroxides and acid would be very effective at shortening long molecules.

        1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
          Meh

          > life not self assembling

          > self-assemblers everywhere

          Mfw

  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Coat

    We have received a radio message from Europa!

    They are asking for a bailout.

  13. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Virgin Galactic announces

    Swimming holidays on Europa!

    * Please bring your own towel.

    1. Mike Flugennock
      Coat

      swimming holidays on Europa?

      Bring my own towel?

      Well, luckily, I always know where my towel _is_. (Sorry, couldn't help it)

  14. Monkeywrench
    Mushroom

    No nuke reactors in space eh?

    What do these fools think powers the Sun???

    1. AlexH
      Mushroom

      Reactors in space isn't the issue - it's reactors a few km up in our atmosphere strapped to a device that has a bit of a tendency to explode.

      (For the record I'm totally pro-nuclear and nuclear-in-space. Just that a few seem to have misunderstood the argument)

  15. John Ruddy

    Now all we need is the Chinese to launch a probe to land on the surface.....

  16. Richard Wharram

    Perhaps if we fire enough boxes of Black Magic at Jupiter we can make Europa more hospitable for the swimming-tree-things ?

  17. TeeCee Gold badge
    Joke

    Next week.

    Germany launches a mission to Europa, designed to place towels on all the best spots close to the water.

  18. GP08
    Joke

    Ice sheets collapsing??

    Better ban cars and coal fired power stations and set up some wind farms then!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Water on Europa

    Last time I ordered water in the Europa hotel, it was one of those fancy San Pellegrino bottles, near cost £4!

  20. kyza

    Latest Euro-crisis news

    Germany refuses to extend ECB credit lines to Europans.

  21. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    Inhabited?

    I wonder what could be living up there in these deep, dark, freezing waters. And where any such lifeform would feel most at ease if it was to land on Earth.

    On a completely unrelated note, if you're planning an expedition in Antartica to investigate a strange, large metal object embedded deep in the ice, do yourself a favor and bring a spare gas tank for your flamethrower.

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