back to article Prince Harry given free run of Arizona town's womenfolk

Prince Harry has been given the green light to deflower the maidens of a small US town, after the town manager explained reports Cap'n Windsor had been warned off "fornicating" as "a total fabrication". The UK tabs were cock-a-hoop yesterday about reports that the mayor of Gila Bend, where Harry is completing a weapons course …

COMMENTS

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  1. David Webb

    It's not Captain Windsor, it's Captain Wales :)

  2. Matthew 25
    WTF?

    "the best pizza to eat in the world" as opposed to pizza for surfing on?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "the best pizza to eat in the world"

    and the cherry pie wasn't bad either

  4. Andus McCoatover
    Windows

    ..Chopper Pilot...

    I'm gonna buy my keyboards in bulk in future.

  5. Willington

    I had to check the address bar

    I thought I was reading The Daily Mash there for a minute.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jealoue, moi?

    Some privileged oik gets to roam the world wetting his willy. Lucky bugger but hardly newsworthy.

    1. Jimbo 6
      Headmaster

      Oxy, moron

      Sir -

      Although 'oik' does have the meaning of 'ill-educated' or 'ignorant', it is most often used to refer to the proletarian classes, so is inappropriate for a member of the Royal Family.

      Better, I believe, to refer to Prince Harry as a nob.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Jimbo 6 - Oik

        I see your point but oik has a wider scope, eg.

        oick, oik (OIk). slang. [Etym. obscure.] Depreciatory schoolboy word for a member of another school; (*) an unpopular or disliked fellow-pupil. Also gen., an obnoxious or unpleasant person; in weakened senses, a 'nit-wit', a 'clot'.

        (*)Harry didn't attend my school so I think I can justifiable call him an oik, I have no opinion on his personal manner as I don't know him nor do I believe what I read about anybody so the other meanings are not applicable.

        Also wrt "ill-educated" - Remind me what Prince Harry studied at university, oh that's right he didn't go to one instead he joined the army, which might be an education in itself but the story seems to fit a large number of those you would reserve the word oik for.

      2. philbo

        @Jimbo 6

        >Better, I believe, to refer to Prince Harry as a nob.

        With or without a "k"...

  7. s. pam Silver badge
    Terminator

    Gila Bend is a shithole

    On a good day the best that can be said for this Route66 town is it is a shithole and worst a fucking dump. I have NOT so fond memories of our yearly trip from California back to Texas down Route66 and we'd get to spend the night in this hell hole of a town.

    Genetic Freak Kingdom would be more correct town name, Where Everyone's Family Tree is Vertical could be another.

    Harry would be well off better for a w*nk than to try to schtump anything there!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      so Harry is amongst friends then?

      "Genetic Freak Kingdom would be more correct town name, Where Everyone's Family Tree is Vertical could be another."

      1. James Hughes 1

        I think you need to look at Harry's bloodline a little more closely...

    2. ian 22

      Gila Bend? Is there an equivalent in the Kama Sutra?

      Are the women folk 'Gila Monsters' then? Scaly and reptilian? I might have a go!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Gila Bend is not on Route 66

      Gila Bend is several hundred miles from Route 66, which roughly parallels Interstate 40 through Arizona (or goes north of it by quite a bit, if you follow the old alignment.)

      As for your other statements....

  8. JohnG

    Not "a total fabrication"

    Buss said it was the reporter who'd brought up the subject of "fornicating" in a chat with the trusting mayor. "The reporter started asking him things like, ‘Oh, what about if Prince Harry went chasing after one of your daughters?’”

    ...and there you have it - be very careful what you say to a reporter, especially when they start "a friendly chat". One would have thought that an old politician would have known that.

  9. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    where Harry is completing a weapons course

    Which weapon? The beef bayonet??

    Paris, big chopper pilot

    1. Mark 65

      Pork sword

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "the best pizza..."

    As if an English bloke knew anything about pizza. Well, probably more than the 'Merkins do...

  11. Dave 32
    Devil

    Food

    If he thinks the pizza is good, wait until he tries the tacos!

    Dave

  12. Curly4
    Happy

    I didn't know that a man needed permission to deflower the maidens except the permission of the maidens themselves.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They're overpaid, they're oversexed, and they're over here!

    Funny how it isn't funny when it applies to your folks.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They are just worried he may go for

    someone's attractive cousin.

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

  16. FrankAlphaXII
    Black Helicopters

    "Weapons Course" doesn't add up. If he was at Nellis, it would make sense (and plus there's no such thing as a Las Vegas virgin so he could do all the fornicating he'd like), if he was at Fort Rucker it would make sense. But Luke AFB makes no sense.

    They do F-16 phase one training there before the Pilots move to Nellis for Phase 2. And as far as I know, thats it, most flight training for Special Operations (USAF considers most of their Helicopters special operations). I mean, the 58th Special Ops wing used to be at Luke, but they're at Kirtland AFB in Albuquerque nowadays. Thats about all there was for rotary wing aircraft at that post. And its not even there anymore.

    It really doesn't make sense as to why a Helicopter pilot would be taking an Air Force weapons course at a base that the Weapons School isn't even located at, much less at a base that only trains fixed wing fighter pilots. Weird.

  17. ideapete

    Harrys weapon works and was Paul right ?

    So on the testimoany of the Gila Maidens can we conclude that it DOES and is it now official brit policy that you have to wear a uniform and be in another country to try yours out ?

    Sure does put a new slant on Paul Revers' line " The British are Coming "

  18. mhenriday
    WTF?

    I can understand in part why the Reg would choose

    to place this article under the rubric «Odds and Sods News», but what happened to the «Odds» part ?...

    Henri

  19. AG999

    Trainging in Gila Bend - I think not

    As far as I am aware (and I have a very good contact on this) Capn Wales is not even training in the same state, never mind near a pimple of a town on the map of Arizona

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Parental guidance

    What does his daddy think ? Or Charles ?

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