back to article Steve Jobs memorial brings out tech titans... and Bono

Tech world supremos Larry Page, Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Michael Dell and Apple's Tim Cook and Scott Forstall made an appearance at the secret memorial for Steve Jobs held in Stanford University yesterday. U2's Bono, media baron Rupert Murdoch and, er, Stephen Fry were also in attendance. The ceremony in the Stanford chapel …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Larry Page forgot to put invite in his Google wallet"

    Its a fucking invitation!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Being "contrary"

      It's the old story I'm afraid.

      You no longer lever something, you have to leverage it.

      You don't issue an invitation, you issue an invite.

      You can be sure that whatever we say in the UK, they say something different.

      I blame the war of independence....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "You no longer lever something, you have to leverage it"

        What? One applies a lever to something to apply leverage to it. You managed to "verb" both lever and leverage.

    2. amanfromearth

      Maybe he binned it when he saw that Bono was going..

  2. LarsG

    THE SECRET MEMORIAL

    Will be a 70 meter high statue of the said person as a replacement to Nelson in Trafalger Square.

    Do you know I reckon it would be deserved, dedicated to the man who believed that design and function could work together.

    More relevant that defeating the French though not in rugby.

    Something that works and looks great, just like my wife. What more could we want from our gadgets, and the same mantra that every other manufacturer has copied.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I was always a fan of gadgets

      that do what I want them to, and whose function I can change if I so wish.

      Gadgets like that are rarely ugly, though sometimes pretty boring (my first smartphone in ~2004 http://pdadb.net/img/xda2s.jpg is actually pretty good looking- and those hard buttons made all the blank space around the screen actually useful!)

      In any case, Johnathon Ive (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Ive) was the creative guy behind making Apple products look cool. And Jobs isn't a technical guy, so had very little input on the technical side of things.

      It's a sign of Apple's wholehearted push for control that the funeral of this man- mourned for by thousands who hadn't met him for things someone else had done- was behind closed steel gates.

      One can only hope that in future Apple can be the ones to Think Different and leave their control freakery behind.

      1. Mark 65

        Walled garden approach until the very end.

      2. RightPaddock

        No mention of Jony being there.

        Maybe they wouldn't let him in either - "who are you sir", "jony ive" "and who the f**k is jony ive", "I'm the man who designs all the iGadgets", "arrest this man, he's an imposter", jony's frogmarched into the county jail

        I reminded of Alices Restaurant

    2. LarsG

      some people

      Really take life tooooooo seriously!

    3. SkippyBing

      Yes, being in charge of a company that makes a disposable shiny object is obviously more deserving of a memorial than sacrificing your life to prevent your country being invaded by a dictator.

      You sir are a cunt and come the revolution I'll happily strangle you with my own bare hands.

    4. GitMeMyShootinIrons

      Jealous.....

      "Something that works and looks great, just like my wife."

      I wish.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Oh believe me

        His wife works great ;-)

        Anon for obvious reasons...

    5. Aaron Em

      Atop Nelson's Column? Nonsense

      But something in, say, the Cupertino city center, wouldn't go amiss at all in my view. Something tasteful, of course, not garish, say about two hundred and fifty feet high with a thirty-foot statue atop it.

    6. sheep++;
      Thumb Up

      @LarsG

      "Something that works and looks great, just like my wife." Way to get brownie points mate.

    7. RightPaddock

      Nuh

      In the circumstamces it might be more appropriate to replace Nelson with this person - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jony_ive

  3. LarsG

    You have to........

    Show your new iPhone 4S before they let you in.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    "Ooooh, I don't feel so good....

    I think I'm gonna output."

    When will all this hero worship stop?

    1. davemcwish

      Never .....

      And neither will the control freekery. Power corrupts etc.

    2. amanfromearth

      When we find ourselves a new hero?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Jeez ...

    What a circus.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    er ...

    what's with the 'er... Stephen Fry' quip?

    Don't really get it, El Reg?

  7. Chronos
    Gimp

    Meh

    When is the dmr memorial? Without Dennis, there would have been no OS X, iOS or any of the shinies you all adore so much.

  8. BatCat
    Stop

    Anybody...

    ...who actually believes Steve Jobs changed the world must live in a very small and privileged world indeed.

  9. Ramazan

    ... and Bono

    Why are you surprised considering that Apple produced iPod U2 SE for so many years?

  10. Earl Jones Of Potatoes
    Childcatcher

    red cross mark

    where's the red cross mark elReg? you use to have it on most articles made about apple and Steve Jobs....

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Meanwhile....

    Nobody seems to care about Dennis Ritchie, who actually did make shit, like C and Unix.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Shit

      Is a good word for it. Have an upvote.

    2. RightPaddock

      ME DOES

      Well I do sunshine, deeply - be interesting to see if they approve what I just posted

      To all those people worrying about who will design the next their next fiddlephone or fondleslab, it will be the same bloke who designed the last one, and the one before that and your iPod and your Mac Air.

      Jony Ive from Chingford in Kent is already working on them - look him up!!

      The Media are just a bunch of echonomists - plagiarise, cut & paste blah blah blah.

  12. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Alert

    Remember El Regs request for new icon suggestions ....

    I *really* think we need a "Stephen Fry" pair ... or at least a "barf" one.

  13. Doogie Howser MD
    Mushroom

    It's Bono's fault anyway

    He clicked his fingers again and God picked Steve. Probably.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bono ?

    Is there an iPhone RED ?

    What on earth was he doing there. Fry was there for entertainment value to keep readers of El Reg amused.

    1. irish donkey
      Devil

      Bono was there

      to avoid the tax man.

      The trip was claimed as a charity event so he could avoid even more tax on his not insubstantial bag of cash.

      SCUM

      1. John I'm only dancing

        Glad someone else likes Bonio as much as me.

        Probably there to save a few feckin whales, or dolphins, or tuna, or whatever his latest tax dodge is. I hate that man almost as much Stink.

  15. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Psion3

    Form and function together - and a f**&ing keyboard

    Or the Psion5 - a pocket machine bigger on the inside!

    Thanks to Martin Riddiford

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Look at that guest list...

    ...pure evil.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Steve's number was up.

      SPECTRE does exist!

  17. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    I find this deeply disturbing

    This is not just hero worship, it goes beyond obsession even. This is manipulation on a grand scale, to the point of mass brain-washing.

    It freaks me out that this is so similar to many SciFi horror stories

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No disrespect to "the Jobs" or the others in attendance, but you're telling me we had Bono AND Murdoch in the same place and nobody dropped a nuke on the buiilding??

    What a sad day for humanity.

    1. Slabfondler
      Mushroom

      Mr. Fry's massive ego would have absorbed any and all output of a massive destructive device.

  19. Aaron Em

    Le roi, c'est mort

    "Steve Jobs Day" indeed -- a pitiful, democrat's gesture in the direction of someone for whom the most abject obeisance could not be memorial enough. It's a judgment upon our species that we mourn a man and not a king.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      *buzz*

      That would be "le roi est mort", meaning "the king is dead". Your thing is grammatically incorrect (the king is a person, so it would be "il est mort").

      It works perfectly fine in English, so don't bother if your french suck.

      Also goes for people misspelling "voilà" and other words. If you can't spell it, that's fine, just don't use it, noone will blame you.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        That would be French, sucks and no-one. Note the capitalisation, plural and hyphen.

        Glass houses etc.

  20. Christos Georgiou
    Megaphone

    Graham Chapman's Eulogy

    I believe this is the top, and nothing could ever beat it:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkxCHybM6Ek

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gary Johnson

    Republican presidential candidate Gary Johnson was not invited out of concern that he might reuse his joke about "shovel ready jobs". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ_PY7OBZtU

  22. Blarkon

    So Woz didn't go

    Looking at his tweet stream, he didn't seem to attend.

  23. Dana W
    Stop

    Or Perhaps......

    Perhaps they simply didn't want the Westoboro baptist church to show up and make it a hate festival like they promised. When they show up the event is always all about THEM no matter what it is.

    They spared the mourners that. It WOULD be nice to have a recording of the service available for those of us who DID mourn his passing though.

    Can you blame them for privacy? Think of how many people show up in lines for the Phone. If they had made this public it would have REALLY been a circus.

  24. BillCo

    Dennis Ritchie...

    to the others who mentioned Dennis Ritchie - I totally agree. The irony that OSX and iOS are built on branches of Unix and C seems lost on the world. The man who really actually f**king built it and the man who re-wrapped it and marketed it to the world in a pretty box die within days of each other... compare the send offs...

    this makes me feel very sick and cynical

  25. OzBob
    Coat

    I think a suitable memorial for Steve Jobs,...

    would be an 8 mile high marble statue titled "Richard Stallman throwing the Apple iPhone", and the iPhone would be held in suspension mid-air only by its artistic merit.

    Share and Enjoy! (Or alternatively, Go Stick Your Head In A Pig!)

  26. Spud2go
    Facepalm

    Ladies & Gentlemen,

    the man is DEAD. Memorials are for the living, & any eulogizing by these high profile attendees I take with a large dose of salt. Most relevant way to honour him, IMHO, is to do what he did - get on with your own living.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I assume all the same faces will be at Dr. Richie's memorial service, too?

  28. RightPaddock

    So What

    Given the more recent passing of a more important and far nicer human being this is irrelevant.

    Can we Just Shut the F**k Up about Jobs while we say our private parting prayers to Dennis.

    Thanks

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