back to article Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

Enterprising "music scientists" have declared Queen's 1977 cheesy power ballad We are the Champions as the world's catchiest song after thoroughly analysing it. Certain features of Freddie Mercury's voice stir a primal urge in us, gush the boffins, and make us more likely to raise our voices in a chant and then, er, follow him …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Woolly Jumper
    FAIL

    and what about "Sweet Child o' Mine"?!?!?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Psychologically we look to men to lead us into battle"

    "2. Y.M.C.A, The Village People (1978)"

    Sound of sudden movement of needle across vinyl.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Perhaps they meant … "In The Navy"?

  3. TeeCee Gold badge
    Unhappy

    Unfortunately for them.

    As soon as I read "world's catchiest song", I immediately thought of "Echo Beach" by Martha and the Muffins.

    That's now on permanent repeat loop in my head (curse you) AND IT'S NOT EVEN ON THEIR BLOODY LIST!

    <headdesk>

    <headdesk>

    <headdesk>

    Nooooooooo.......make it stop........please........

  4. djb321
    WTF?

    Most catchily annoying song?

    They obviously haven't heard the Weebl's Stuff Baby Baboon song...

    1. BorkedAgain
      Thumb Up

      Wow.

      I thought the Badger song could never be topped. I've never felt quite so ambivalent about being wrong...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boffins?

    They sound more like trick cyclists to me.

    1. John G Imrie

      I was thinking the same

      But then I considered that there appears to be some real research here into what the common elements of a catchy tune are.

      1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Yes, but does it support the theory?

        If I had a bit of free time (OK, a bit more than is required to respond to irrelevant Register articles) I'd read the paper, or the original dissertation. It does sound like there's some real research here in identifying the common elements of these supposedly-catchy songs.

        But the whole "lead into battle" bit sounds suspiciously like sociobiology, perhaps the least-rigorous pseudo-science this side of homeopathy. (I've read actual peer-reviewed sociobiology papers published in research journals, and believe me, they are an awesome vein of utter bullshit. If we could figure out how to extract it we'd have a great new source of phosphorus. Is Worstall reading this?)

  6. Paul 28

    One word ...

    Agadoo-doo-doo

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Saag aloo-loo-loo

      Chicken tikka, vindaloo

  7. James O'Shea

    I must be old

    I only know three of those songs, the Queen, VP, and Morrison songs.

    And 'We are the Champions' isn't even Queen's catchiest song, that would be 'Hammer to Fall'. 'Under Pressure', ''39', and 'The Prophet's Song' all rate higher than 'We are the Champions'. (Why, yes, I do have every Queen album ever released, why do you ask?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I figured half of them just weren't that catchy if they hadn't survived well enough for me to have heard of them. And I would've picked "Another One Bites the Dust", "We Will Rock You" or "Bohemian Rhapsody" over "We Are the Champions" too.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Fat bottomed girls?

        Yum

  8. NoneSuch Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    We miss you Freddie.

    All we had to replace you since you left is courtesy of Simon Cowell.

  9. Wize

    Where can I find a job like that?

    Sounds like all fun and no real work.

  10. Code Monkey

    Most Infectious Earworm

    The most infectious earworm is Spanish Flea by Herb Alpert. It also has the advantage of not getting on my tits, so is great as brainwash (as is the A-Team theme and Monkey Man by Toots and the Maytals) for shite like We Are the Champions (a rare rubbish Queen song, I'll grant you).

    1. bill 36
      Thumb Down

      but what about

      Puppy Love by Donny Osmond and some of that other shite that the Carpenters churned out.

      Real sing along wrist slashing stuff that was!

      1. BritPad
        Happy

        I'm on the top of the world, looking down on creation.......................................

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Devil

          'Cause I'm on - Antidepressants,

          Popping - this great prescription

          Since a wonderful physician came on by.

          Now this drug that I've found

          Takes away my ups and downs;

          I'm no longer so pissed off at the world. [--Bob Rivers]

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Angel

      I find a good cure for earworms

      Is Max Steiner's Theme From 'A Summer Place', instrumental version, particularly that by Percy Faith. Knocks any others out and is fairly benign to be left with.

  11. Dog@86G

    FAIL

    Y'all forgot the seminal classic

    Surfin USM by the effervescent Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine.

    Who could resist the Line "You Fat Bastard!" or "wham Bam, Thank you Ma'am"

  12. Mr Larrington
    Alert

    Woo!

    I am only familiar with half of their so-called "top" ten. I do not know whether to laugh or top myself.

    1. Rattus Rattus

      I only...

      ...know three of them, myself. And I'm not so sure about male voices necessarily making the most "catchy" songs. The song I've been least able to get out of my head is "Winter Wrap-Up" which is sung entirely by female voices.

  13. Pete 2 Silver badge

    One missing attribute

    ... the people judging the singers and songs must have actually heard (of) them.

    Who's to say that these, all english/american-language songs contain the _world's_ most catchiest tunes? Other cultures have completely different musical scales and would presumably therefore be attuned to different musical attributes to stir their loins into battle - or football.

    Given that this is just an attempt to appear "down wiv' da kidz" to try and convince them that science is "cool" I can see why they've skewed their results in such a startling manner. However, as a piece of science it does appear lacking (in the whole history of music - all the entries, ALL of them are from the past 50 years) in any sort of rigour and I really can't see how this could possibly be worthy of a PhD.

    Maybe I should write up my list of top 10 favourite power ballads and submit that, so I can be known as Dr. Pete 2 - I'm sure I could come up with enough random psychobabble to convince whoever dished out this degree.

  14. Stoneshop
    Holmes

    And how

    was this 'research' biased by the fact that cassette tapes left in a car's glove compartment evenually turn into a "Best of Queen" compilation?

    1. Ian 31
      Thumb Up

      Good Omens

      Sir Terry and Neil Gaiman in one reference, good work

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "particularly when combined with a small vocal range"

    That doesn't describe Freddie Mercury.

    (Or didn't while he was alive and singing, at least).

    1. Glen 1

      indeed...

      robbie williams on the other hand....

    2. Lennart Sorensen

      I believe they meant "small vocal range" of the song, not of the singer. After all if the range of the song is huge, most people can't comfortably sing along.

      So it does describe the song, but absolutely not the singer.

  16. Armando 123

    On the bright side

    No one has yet mentioned "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves, so that's ... Damn, sorry. Let me get some steel wool so we can get that out of our minds.

  17. alain williams Silver badge

    Why all so recent ?

    The oldest song listed is Brown Eyed Girl of 1967. There are huge numbers of catchy songs from before then, eg: 'Land of hope and glory', 'Happy Birthday', 'Rudolph the red nose reindeer' (& similar), 'Hello Dolly', 'My old man's a dustman', lots of music hall stuff,... quite appart from being entirely English language biased!

    1. BritPad
      Unhappy

      Catchy

      What about Je t'aime - that's a very catchy song, you'll catch lots of things with that song

  18. g e

    El Condor Pasa?

    Iiiiiii'd rather be a sparrow than a snaaaiiiiilll

  19. anarchic-teapot

    IIRC it was actually written with football crowds in mind

    Although the thought of Freddie Mercury playing football does not easily come to mind.

  20. disgruntled yank

    actually

    I have to agree with them on "Teenage Dirtbag". And if I'm attacked by a co-worker for humming it constantly today, it will be all your fault.

    The rest, not so much. YMCA seems to spur the immature of all ages to make strange contortions. "We Are the Champions" is sort of Lawrence Welk for the disco age, isn't it?

  21. b166er

    I always though Dock of the Bay was the most accessible song.

    1. Lennart Sorensen

      Range is too big, no one can remember the words, and it isn't catchy, so no one cares to remember the words. Most people have heard of it, so at least it has that.

    2. Oninoshiko

      now I have that in my head

      Fortunately it's a good song.

      (interestingly enough, it is apperently the first posthumus chart-topper.)

  22. Bassey

    There is currently a debate where I live as to whether students studying university courses without any obvious benefit to the community should receive funding. The general consensus has been that it would be impossible to judge which courses might lead to future jobs. After all - as one "expert" pointed out - who would have thought, just ten years ago, that computer and e-gaming would become viable careers?

    I think "PhD in Singability" might well swing the argument

    1. John H Woods Silver badge
      Happy

      Nice one ...

      ... I laughed in agreement. But actually I disagree. Expanding all human knowledge is an important cultural objective, by my reckoning the overarching one. Science and engineering have often done themselves a disservice by suggesting their PhDs are *useful*, and that Arts degrees aren't. Sooner or later, the result of such thinking is bad for blue-sky research or other interesting stuff which may only become technology in the far distant future. With the consequence that such technology retreats further from 'far distant future' to 'never'.

      If you stick to what is 'useful to the community now', on paper that has to be management degrees. Can you see where I'm going with this?

      If you think about it, 'singability' is an interesting hybrid of musicology, neurology, psychology and anthropology. Doesn't quite sound so airy fairy when you put it that way.

  23. Just Thinking

    Oh dear

    Teenage dirtbag is the most recent one I am familiar with.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Univeristy of the Bleedin Obvious!

    "They believe that singing along to a song is "a subconscious war cry" that keys into an inherent tribal part of our consciousness."

    I think that was Mr May and Mr Mercury's point, especially when, well you know, R.T.F.L.! The whole point in writing it, was an attempt to stir people up!

  25. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Joke

    They would say that!

    After hearing it, they just had an uncontrollable urge to ......

    Oh, wait.

  26. Spiracle

    Bit of a quandry

    I don't recall ever having heard 'Fat Lip' by Sum 41 and now I don't know whether to risk exposing myself to it. Just reading the word's 'Final Countdown' has me reaching for the iPod for something (anything) to drive it out of my head.

    This is dangerous stuff. A while back I switched on the radio first thing in the morning and heard about half a bar of 'Long Haired Lover From Liverpool' by 'Little' Jimmy Osmond before I could switch stations. That was a whole day ruined.

  27. Tom 38
    Go

    How did this get past the Editor?

    No mention of 'trick cyclists' at all. Have I accidentally wandered into the BBC?

  28. Annihilator
    Happy

    Have you not heard?

    There seems to be an absence of a certain ornithological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      truly disappointed

      and there was i, thinking this would be the ever so "popular" :

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz6iENNnf08

      1. Steven Raith
        Facepalm

        You utter....

        ..bastard.

        I've had to start an hour loop of "System Of A Down - Mr Jack" to act as brain bleach and cerebral scrubber to that festering pile of pish.

        Steven R

      2. DJV Silver badge
        Devil

        @truly disappointed

        You bastard! I followed that link and, spotting the title, just managed to close the browser tab down before it played the second note!!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A catchier song

    "This is the song that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end...."

  30. LuMan
    Stop

    But what about....

    .....Surfin' Bird, as sung by Peter Griffin?

  31. Random Coolzip
    Thumb Down

    Titles are optional now?

    Bah, no mention of George Harrison's "Got My Mind Set On You" -- surely the banal, inane song this side of a toddler's jukebox...

    1. deadlockvictim

      "You really need words, words, child"

      I prefer the Wierd Al interpretation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWi5jdgTUJs

  32. Captain Hogwash
    Meh

    "...lead us into battle..."

    Maybe that explains the appeal of all those cheezy Judas Priest 'viking chorus' type songs.

  33. Identity
    FAIL

    I don't believe them at all

    All wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

  34. Boggwoppit
    Coat

    Always look on the brightside of life

    follow in to battle surly

    Ka mate, ka mate

    Ka ora, ka ora

    Tenei te tangata puhuruhuru

    Nana i tiki mai whakawhiti te ra

    Upane, upane

    Upane kaupane

    Whiti te ra.

  35. Atonnis
    FAIL

    What a load of bollocks...

    ...seriously, was this list scientifically or socially created - or was it just the playlist of the Chicago's Rock Cafe nearest to the lab?

    6 months or longer being paid to analyse this shite, results taken in 1 very pissed night out.

    ..

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know a song that'll get on your nerves

    Get on your nerves, get on your nerves.

    I know a song that'll get on your nerves

    And it goes a bit like this:

    I know a song that'll get on your nerves...

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "This is not the greatest song in the world

    No, this is just a tribute

    Couldn't remember the greatest song in the world, no, no

    This is a tribute, oh, to the greatest song in the world"

  38. Colin Millar
    Pirate

    Come back when it's 220 years old

    La Marseillaise

    That is all

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      I think it mentioned leading into battle, not running away from it........

      The Imperial Guards uniform and the Nike running shoes please.

  39. Alpha Tony

    I think not.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

  40. NoOnions
    WTF?

    Blimey!

    I'm shocked! I knew seven, out of the ten, off the top of my head and a quick Spotify (thank you Daughter) made me realise that I knew the other three!

    Mind you, ask me to list the current top ten...

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    this has a parallel to nerd sniping....

  42. Torben Mogensen

    I'll be impressed when ....

    ... they use the research to create a #1 hit song. Or, even better, one like Clarke described in "The Ultimate Melody" in "Tales from the White Hart". Until then, it is all so much hot air.

  43. dogged
    WTF?

    WTF?

    "small vocal range"?

    Freddie? Small vocal range?

    In which reality?

  44. Tannah
    FAIL

    O RLY?

    So some researchers used their imagination to make up some arbitrary criteria to define how 'catchy' a song is, and then used the said criteria to make a quasi-scientific statement in a likely attempt to gain publicity.

    Why is this being reported as news?

  45. poohbear

    ah, shuddupa your face

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFacWGBJ_cs

  46. davemcwish
    Paris Hilton

    Pourquois pas Plastic Bertrand avec "Ça plane pour moi" ?

    C'est tres joli, n'est pas ?

    PARIS: juste parce que

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It becomes obvious that the researchers haven't got a clue when a list of the catchiest songs of all time fails to include anything by the Beatles. Or the Rolling Stones. Or from more recent times: any of the rubbish generated by Stock, Aitken and Waterman; any of the manufactured stuff from bands like the Spice Girls which are designed to be catchy.

    Here's a few additional thoughts to get people running:

    Hey Jude

    Help

    Yesterday

    Yellow Submarine

    Paint it Black

    (I can't get no) Satisfaction

    Or even things like:

    I should be so lucky - Kylie

    Wannabee - Spice Girls

    Millennium - Robbie Williams

    I'm sure the list could go on. But the list the trick cyclists came up with is weak at the extreme.

  48. Graham Marsden
    Trollface

    Hold a chicken in the air...

    ... stick a deckchair up your nose...!

    (What do you mean, you don't remember Spitting Image? Kids these days...)

  49. Darryl

    Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones

    They're a modern stone-age family

    From the town of Bedrock

    They're a page right out of history

  50. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Wot a load of old cobblers

  51. Ben 42

    Sweet Caroline

    My anecdotal evidence suggests that Sweet Caroline is the runaway winner in the category of "most likely to trigger spontaneous singalongs". The fact that it's not even on the list tells me their research is seriously flawed.

    Also, Livin' on a Prayer kind of shoots holes in their theory about catchy songs having a small range so they're easy to sing. I don't think I've ever met anyone with the vocal range to sing that (properly, anyway :-).

  52. Mediocrates
    Trollface

    But what about "Billy Don't Be a Hero"?!

    Or "Dancing Queen"...

  53. Diogenes

    What about

    "The wheels on the bus go round & round" or "I know a song that will get on your nerves" - I used these at work all the time when idiots would get sing the same stuff over again ...

    Then again there have to be some classical earworms as well - Waltons Variations on a Theme by Tallis (and the original theme) - ride of the valkyries, opening bars to Beethoven 5 , close of 1812, nessum dorma etc

  54. Goat Jam

    Now

    let me tell a story 'bout a man named Jed

  55. Gordon 8
    Trollface

    Chicken Song

    Damn, not the first one to remember it, thanks for getting it back in my head ;-(

    'Its the time of year

    Now that Spring is in the air

    When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair

    Make another song for moronic holidays

    That nauseate-ate-ates

    In a million different ways

    From the shores of Spain

    To the coast of Southern France

    No matter where you hide

    You just can't escape this dance....

    Aggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stop it stop it..

    Champions is probably the best Crowd song that Queen did, although not their greatest work. Can't believe Lennon & McCartney did not get a mention.

    1. davemcwish
      Coat

      Re: Chicken song

      The B-Side was better though but not as catchy

  56. thenim
    WTF?

    I'm a Barbie girl...

    nuff said...

    I'm immune, listening to AC/DC as I type - my wife annoys the hell out of me sometimes with this tripe...

  57. Jon 52
    Pint

    footballs coming home

    I think fotoball chants are a good pointer, and what is more iconic than Frank Skinenr et al "3 lions".

    Just try getting "footballs coming home" out your head now. Yes, this was deliberatly written to be catchy and it succeded. So well that many of the "catchy" football songs of following years, where just utter failures compared to this monolith with fans opting to sing "its coming".

  58. Duppo Floopery

    For those about to rock

    I salute you, but lets Turn The Beat Around. You Should Be Dancing, not Shadow Dancing, but Stayin Alive in the Boogie Wonderland under the Manhattan Skyline. Ok, Gonna Fly Now, its the Last Train To London.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like