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back to article Rumor: HP giving Apotheker Das Boot

It looks like Leo Apotheker's tumultuous time at the helm of IT behemoth Hewlett-Packard could be drawing to a close. Both Bloomberg and the Wall Street Journal are reporting that HP board of directors has scheduled a meeting to consider giving Apotheker the boot after only 11 months on the job and replacing him, possibly on …

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  1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
    Devil

    Even if its a das boot it is "das gold boot"

    Well, he did his job - he destroyed a couple of things on which HP would have always failed to capitalise. That can now be assigned to him and another person can step in to "fix the damage".

    In any case, if one happens to be in the vicinity of Redwood Shores, CA they need to buy some ear plugs. They will be needed to muffle the hysterical giggles coming from 500 Oracle Parkway.

    6 1
  2. Rob Dobs
    Happy

    YEAH! DAS BOOT!

    Now just bring back the Pre and Touchpad team and all will be right again in the world (at least with HP's part anyway...)

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could this be ...

    part one of the payment demanded by Oracle?

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  4. semprance
    Thumb Up

    Well ...

    At least Leo will finally be able to relate to the TouchPad. Given no time to prove his worth, and given the boot by a load of guys in suits who only care about $$$.

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  5. Erik N.

    They didn't get rid of WebOS

    They dropped and canceled the hardware. WebOS, the software portion, was transfered to another division. Without hardware, its limbo state is in essence the same as being dead outright. The difference is that they could revive it or license it to another company.

    My Pre is getting replaced with a Thunderbolt here in the next few weeks. HP has no credibility. Any HP branded WebOS device will not have a chance. HTC would be one of the companies who they could license it to and it might work. It would be a very slim chance with Android and iOS out there. I'd lay higher odds on WP7 or 8 at this point.

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  6. Levente Szileszky
    WTF?

    Dear Jesus: MEG WHITMAN? Out of the frying pan, into the fire!

    Just who the hell are these absolutely clueless board members...? Seriously: is there a WORSE candidate than Meg Whitman, this foul-mouthed, arrogant, aggressive ugly bully, who burned TWO BILLIONS on Skype...?

    Quickly, call the cleaning lady, she might be willing to take the job... oh wait, Whitman treated even her cleaning lady as a PoS and later even denied noticing she was working for her illegally without any document for 9 years...

    HP is over. It is over unless they quickly find someone with at least Hurdian credits - this board is obviously FULL of completely clueless, downright pestilent idiots and they are killing HP in an accelerating pace...

    6 2
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      re: Dear Jesus: MEG WHITMAN? Out of the frying pan, into the fire!

      Read any Union/Communist manifestos lately? That maid was paid by the Public Employee Unions to say falsehoods about Meg Whitman. I don't know if she's right for HP, I'm not sure that anyone could save them now, but you shouldn't quote AP/Union propaganda as facts.

      1 9
      1. Levente Szileszky
        Reply Icon
        WTF?

        RE:

        Are you high?

        http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/meg-whitmans-housekeeper-treated-piece-garbage/story?id=11758365

        http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/california-politics/2010/10/whitmans-undocumented-ex-housekeeper-fires-back-at-gop-candidate.html

        http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/blogs/the-gaggle/2010/10/01/meg-whitman-s-housekeeper-scandal-it-s-the-coverup-not-the-sin-that-matters.html

        http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2010/10/former-meg-whitman-housekeeper-im-not-anyones-puppet-/

        http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Latest-News-Wires/2010/1118/Meg-Whitman-settles-for-5-500-with-former-housekeeper

        Yeah, these are all Commie outlets, secretly; hte last one being very finesse, they even call themselves Christian to really fool everybody... except diehard Commie-hunters like you, right?

        3 0
  7. Fehu
    Pirate

    Meg Whitman?!?

    Seriously?!? They want someone who blew like $140 Million on a losing political campaign? They need to get someone from Microsoft or Haliburton. At least when they bribe a governmental official they get something for it.

    3 1
    1. Solomon Grundy
      Reply Icon
      Meh

      What Else

      are you gonna do with the money? After the jets, cars, drugs, sex partners, monkey butlers, private islands; what the hell are you going to do with that kind of money?

      Sure you could donate it to a "good cause" but then the ED of those organizations would just be driving your fancy German/Italian car instead of you. I think she was a horrible political candidate for any position but she *did* create a lot of jobs.

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      1. LateNightLarry
        Reply Icon
        Mushroom

        What else...

        Well... she did create a lot of short term, very high paying jobs during her out of control checkbook in her run for governor. Unfortunately, most of the money she spent didn't help California... it all went to out of state political consultants and strategists whose advice she didn't take at least half the time.

        She tried to go nuclear, and proved tht even money cannot always buy a political seat for a failure.

        0 0
  8. Kirbini
    Unhappy

    What a bunch of clowns on the HP board

    Is HP trying to set the record for shite CEOs? Fiorina (failed Compaq merger), Hurd (failed to keep it in his pants), Apotheker (busted for stealing from Oracle while at SAP) and no Whitman (failed Skype acquisition). It buggers the mind how that board operates.

    More mind buggering is how these execs keep getting such high positions anywhere. Or is it a case of once a CxO always a CxO?

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  9. CADmonkey

    Das Boot?

    Isn't that German for "The boat"?

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    1. tpm (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: Das Boot?

      Yes it is. Perhaps they are going to put him in a trunk?

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      1. GitMeMyShootinIrons
        Reply Icon

        Or perhaps....

        .... It's a life boat to escape a sinking ship.

        It's a pity how HP have come to such a state as hiring one nutter after another. Especially for a company with such a history.

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    2. Billl
      Reply Icon
      Alert

      re: Isn't that German for "The boat"?

      seems appropriate considering the sinking Itanic.

      3 0
      1. zen1
        Reply Icon

        Yeah, but...

        at least the titanic had a band.

        3 0
      2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        FAIL

        RE: re: Isn't that German for "The boat"?

        That would be the Itanium that is kicking Sun servers into touch in Europe, then?

        http://www.channelregister.co.uk/2011/09/23/oracle_second_quarter_idc/

        If anything is sinking, it's the zombie Snoreacle server bizz, rapidly heading back into the mud of the Sun graveyard from whence it was grudgingly dragged by Larry, when he garverobbed the Java bizz.

        0 1
    3. Frumious Bandersnatch
      Reply Icon

      and isn't it pronounced

      "das boat?"

      0 0
      1. CeeOfGee
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        Yes. It is pronounced 'Boat' - but lets not get sidetracked into German pronunciation and grammar. We'll be here for decades !!

        0 0
    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Das Boot?

      This is a visual pun. Don't read too much into it.

      0 0
      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        I thought you meant they were getting in a sub for him........

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  10. Wanda Lust

    The Board Giveth

    The Board taketh away.

    Wouldn't it have been the board of directors who employed this clunk?

    Seems to me like the board of directors need to take a look in the mirror. Not a great track record for filling the top slot.

    2 0
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    My sympathy is limited.

    I expect he'll get a nice fat payoff to compensate him for his trouble.

    2 0
  12. Gordon 10

    If this is true

    Then HP's board have more guts than I would have credited them with.

    If it happens fair play to them which is better than I can say about Nokia board.

    3 0
  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    HP the auction house?

    > Whitman ... was, of course, the longtime CEO of online auctioneer eBay.

    So just as well qualified as Apotheker, the longtime CEO of a software company.

    1 0
    1. fch
      Reply Icon

      auctioning off HP ?

      ... she's probably qualified. HP's parts by now must be worth more than HP as a whole, and anyway, given the size of the leviathan, selling it whole is impossible.

      Who's better at the helm of HP than someone familiar with auctioning off things ?

      0 0
  14. Shane Kent

    Why not...

    offshore the position. HP is good at that. Off shore the manufacturing, support, programming, design, etc, so why not the CEO as well. Could hire a thousand CEOs for the cost of one in the US.

    8 0
  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Told ya so :-)

    The first time I observed Apothiwhatsit in an employee meeting I knew he would not last. He didn't appear to have a clue. How on earth did the board think he could do the job. Oh - I forgot - they are clueless as well.

    2 0
  16. Lars Silver badge
    Pint

    Das boot

    should be given to the HP board in the first place, or why not a boat too, but there is no mechanism to

    boot the board. And the sad thing is that no qualifications, (related to the business of the company) are ever required bye members of the board, give or take some old CEO as a courtesy to "old times".

    1 0
  17. Armando 123

    Ten years ago ...

    Did you think that Apple would be able to buy HP but would be too smart to even consider it?

    2 0
    1. Solomon Grundy
      Reply Icon
      Meh

      Ten Years Tomorrow

      Ten years ago HP was unstoppable. Sure Carly helped spend some of their money but the company overall could do anything it wanted. Apple is currently in that position but now they have no Leader. HP is in their Sunset stage and Apple is in their Daytime/Plateau stage. Smart people are milking Apple for all they can get while the fruit is still ripe. Smart people are also bailing out of HP as fast as they can.

      Sorry for the stupid metaphors and awful cliched statements but I didn't invent them and there is a time and place for that sort of shite.

      0 0
      1. Armando 123
        Reply Icon

        Well, maybe, but let's not write off Apple yet. They've still got a LOT of great people there, and I've never bought that it was all Jobs.

        0 0
  18. real_alias
    WTF?

    Let's try this one...

    F&^%ing Carl F$#*ing Bartz is f*&^ing available. WTF was a must...

    0 0
  19. Eddy Ito
    Pint

    He wasn't so bad

    He cut loose all the hardware people that were working on the phone/tablet (phablet?) platform just as das HP boot heads to the bottom. Somewhat considerate of him to kick them off that fast sinking ship.

    Now then, should we start a pool as to how long the next Chief Expendable Officer will last straight away or should we start with a yes/no line on Meg? No matter, I'll go with 288 days and no Meg. Granted, I may easily be giving her too much credit as I assume she won't want to be the next one to drive the diving bell.

    Oh yeah, standard ante of one pint please.

    0 0
  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can't be bothered to check the history but...

    Didn't EBay end up doing well out of Skype by finding an even bigger idiot (Ballmer) to take it for an even sillier price?

    0 0
  21. jake Silver badge

    Carol!Bartz!Is!A!Better!Fit!

    At least with (what's left of) HP culture. I wouldn't hire Meg to pick up poop in my dog run ... And yes, I've known both of them personally for decades.

    Wake up HP ... Carol is available; grab her while you can.

    1 0
  22. Fenton

    SAP merger on the card????

    This is quite interesting.

    HP need software (which is what Leo was trying to achieve), but without a big Enterprise app all HP have is just tools.

    Now with the release of SAPs HANA in memory database they are tied to hardware more than ever.

    Given the Oracle competition with Exadata, with Peoplesoft, Siebel, etc, an HP/SAP merger would be a very good fit to put a blocker on oracles world take over plans, but there was one person standing in the way for this to happen. Yes Leo.

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  23. MJI Silver badge

    Been given "The Boat"

    Is it a U boat or an ordinary one?

    0 0
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