back to article Dob in suspect blingy neighbours on Facebook, say cops

Lothian and Borders police has launched a new initiative that allows the public to report suspected criminals, anonymously if they wish, "using facebook or via Bluetooth" or using the Crimestoppers website. The Scottish force said that the 'Made from Crime' scheme is the first of its kind in the country. The intelligence- …

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  1. myhandle
    Thumb Down

    Anonymous?

    Via facebook? Yeah right!

  2. shteou
    FAIL

    Soon to support...

    Soon to support Twitter, SAP, SIP, Live, Google+, JSON, XML and SQL Injection as methods of reporting dodgy neighbours.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Via Bluetooth?

    "via Bluetooth to link directly to the Crimestoppers website" - presumably they will be letting me within 10m of their webserver then.

    Glad the police are "down with the kids" and all up to speed with the "latest" technology.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Facepalm

      How, Who, What, Where?

      How does that even work? Do they somehow bluetooth you a URL link to the website.....

  4. Just Thinking

    Dubious

    Someone kicked the barrel and all the bottom feeding scum floated to the surface. I'm all in favour of hovering them up. I don't believe many of them were honest, law abiding types who got caught up in a moment of madness. As others have pointed out, most of us wouldn't steal armfuls of "designer" trainers just because there was a bit of mayhem going on.

    But ... anonymous reporting via facebook? I hope they have a decent way of filtering out the prank and malicious reports without wasting too much of their own time and without bothering the entirely innocent victims of deliberate false reports.

    Reporting via Bluetooth is a different matter. Anyone clever enough to figure out WTF that means deserves to be listened to.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Read the article.

      It's Lothian and Borders, there wasn't any rioting in Scotland remember? This is to do with the proceeds of crime, so more likely to result in dealers losing their toys when they get nicked.

      1. Just Thinking

        Fair enough

        But the sub heading is slightly misdirecting, after recent events - where did they get those tellies?

      2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Borders eh?

        "Donald has suddenly got a very nice sheep that bleats with an English accent."

  5. easytoby
    Thumb Up

    Take it National

    Sounds like a half decent plan on the face of it. Needs to be rolled out to all areas though.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suppose this'll suffice until

    they implement that much-needed 'dislike' button.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Facebook or Bluetooth?

    One is a short distance wireless technology and the other is a web site - can you have an "or" for that?

    If you are that worried about anonymity what is wrong with a quick scrawl on a piece of paper, pop in an envelope, address the local nick, stamp on, post, job done.

    I am sure it won't look at all suspicious pressing up against the wall of the police station trying to pick up the bluetooth.....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      You mean.....

      These people can WRITE?

  8. Scott Broukell
    Megaphone

    Can I be the first ...

    .. to report one Mr. F. Goodwin Esq. who, it appears, has got himself all blinged-up nicely thank you, after completely trashing the once very good name of a certain banking establishment, and, further to that, it would appear, that his blinged-upedness has been payed for by the proceeds of the good tax paying public who remain lumbered financially with the net results of his despotic greed and avarice the like of which should never, ever, have been allowed near any UK, Scottish, British banking establishment in the first place.

    >IF RANT OVER

    GOTO $var "Curtain twitching"

  9. Elmer Phud
    Black Helicopters

    Closer still they creep . . .

    Ah well, not long now before we find that to remain on the unemployed register folks will be obliged to fill a 'nark quota'. No need for any actual crimes against the system to actual be committed, just a rumor or two.

    SafetyTrustAndSecureInformation - STASI for short

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      SafetyTrustAndSecureInformation - STASI for short

      Is that a reference to Facebook?

  10. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    This has got to be a good idea

    Yep, report either your criminal neighbors or those that have worked harder than you and consequently enjoy a better lifestyle of which you are jealous - let the witch hunting begin!

  11. John Styles

    And coming soon to BBC3...

    it's 'Shop.... Your.... Granny!'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If my granny had been torching and generally fucking up decent folks

      I'd shop her to buggery and back.

  12. LPF
    Thumb Up

    I like it ...

    When next doors benfit scum, who never worked day in their life are wearing trainers tat cost more than all the clothes you are wearing and the TV is so big it can be used as a load bearing wall, shop em, might reduce my taxes!

  13. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Are looters the new paedos?

    It looks like the british people can only hate so many groups at any one time (much to the annoyance of the Daily Wail, who's sales would be much higher if there was no limit). So given the amount of venom being pointed at looters, does this mean some other group has to be bumped off the pariah's list?

    Leaving aside the people (they really shouldn't be blessed with the term "rioters", that implies there was a principle at stake) who started fires and caused damage: smashed up shops, broke windows, vandalised the streets, it'll be interesting to see whether the hate being directed towrards looters can be extended to shoplifters. After all the only real difference between the two is that one steals goods when the shops are open and the other when they're closed.

    1. Ru
      Holmes

      "rioters", implies there was a principle at stake

      The whole mess didn't kick off because people felt they needed a new TV. You did know that, right? The fact that everyone else and their dog took advantage of the chaos for some good old fashioned pillaging and burning rather detracts from the problems that sparked all this in the first place.

      1. Pete 2 Silver badge

        @Ru

        > You did know that, right?

        Which is why I drew the distinction in the first place.

    2. kissingthecarpet
      Stop

      Why?

      I don't think "rioting" carries any suggestion of "principles" being at stake. I think "protestors" or "demonstrators" describes principled action on the streets. Rioting is just mob violence. I suppose in the past there was a tendency for the "authorities" to describe any legitimate protest that they didn't like as a riot, as in "Poll Tax riot"(or course this was a riot, but as in many cases it was the filth that rioted, not those protesting), which may have confused you.

      I'd love to see what would happen if they jailed everyone caught shoplifting for 4 years. Fuck knows where they'd put them all, plus most shoplifters would fight rather harder than now if a jail term was on offer - so the shops would probably allow everyone to do it, in the same way that supermarkets never used to dispute signatures before chip & pin started.

  14. Mr Larrington
    Big Brother

    As if

    Go to a FWSE.

    Enter ' site:facebook.com "nobody likes a grass"'

    Get 'About 1,140 results'

    I'm not sure the polis have really thought this one through.

  15. David Cantrell
    Trollface

    Pointless title, which must contain letters and/or digits.

    Does this mean we have to shop all the Scottish IT contractors that we know? Tax-dodgers, the lot of 'em.

  16. Citizen Kaned

    isnt this...

    similar to the 'grass a dealer' scheme they did which was an excellent way to get rid of the competition?

  17. Red Bren
    Big Brother

    Spy on your neighbours!

    Win cash prizes!!!

    1. Steven Roper
      Thumb Up

      And earn double bonus

      for reporting a family member!

  18. BristolBachelor Gold badge
    Joke

    Useful

    Could you use this to report your local MP / Peer?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    I am minded...

    ... that in earlier posts i referred to "UK Riots".

    I apologise to world and all as, of course (and unlike the BBC), I should have referred to them as

    England Riots

    or

    English Riots

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Vote Fascist for a Third Glorious Decade of Total Law Enforcement"

    "Be a Government Informer. Betray Your Family & Friends. Fabulous Prizes to be Won"

    Well, if Red Dwarf is becomming real, I'm looking forward to getting my hands on the sexual magnetism virus! (and the luck virus could be a bit of fun too)

    1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Don't be an informer

      Let 'em get away with fucking up innocent people's lives.

      1. Graham Marsden
        Big Brother

        Re: Innocent people's lives...

        ... "Yeah, there's this guy, calls himself "Inventor of the Marmite Laser" he's got this flash computer and a load of other gear, I reckon he's one of these crooks who's fucked up innocent people's lives...

        "(The fact that I've got a grudge against the bloke and he's done nothing wrong except piss me off is a mere technical detail...)"

  21. Citizen Kaned

    i wonder...

    can we implement a grass up a dodgy CEO etc? that would get much more money back!

  22. Danny 14
    Mushroom

    hmm

    does NotW fall under proceeds of crime? That should bolster the treasury with a few million.

    Oh no, wait a min "back room handshakes" dont count do they.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    @Danny 14

    Sorry dude. I meant to vote for your post but clicked on thumbs down by mistake.

    Moderators: can my vote be amended to a thumbs up?

    I really, really, really do like the idea (and am warming to it very swiftly) that (just like the rioters in court) the NotW is made an exemplar prosecution by the state as a warning to all other media moguls (BBC included) that proceeds of crime will never, ever pay.

    1 - police to contact all offended parties and proportion notional costs

    2 - all local authorities, landlords and tax inducements to be denied to Murdoch's personally and News International as an entity and its UK arm(s).

    3 - all NI employees must stand to attention and give up their seat if travelling in crowded public transport.

    1. Graham Marsden

      @AC

      Go back and click on "thumbs up" instead and it will swap the down-vote to an up-vote.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Oops! Missed one!

    4 - All NI employees will be denied state benefits

    There! Looks like Britain will soon become Great Britain and the free will walk with heads held high through riotless English streets?

    Or is it more like Little Britain?

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