back to article Jobs: Apple succession plans are 'hogwash'

Steve Jobs took to email to deny a story that Apple's board of directors are talking about a succession plan. Given his medical history, it would be weird if no such discussions had taken place. But Jobs emailed the Wall Street Journal to dismiss the story as hogwash. The Wally reckons that informal discussions with …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Have they

    Spoken to Bill? He's been out of work since leaving M$ a while back

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wow

    Monstrous ego threatens share price

    1. Marvin the Martian
      Go

      Monstrous ego created share price.

      FTFY

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Marvin

        The same happened at Royal Bank of Scotland and that turned out just fine, err...

  3. NikT
    FAIL

    They should be...

    Any publicly traded company ought to have succession plans, even if they don't have a messianic CEO with a poor health record. It would be highly irresponsible of the board not to have one.

  4. Tom Servo
    Joke

    Turtleneck? black?

    Only one man for the job then - Sterling Archer. He invented the black turtleneck.

    1. tiggertaebo
      Joke

      black..

      ..or a slightly darker black? :)

  5. Big_Ted
    Trollface

    How about monkey boy

    Steve Bulmer looks like he could be pushed out of M$ soon so how about him, ?

    If its a big ego though then Larry Elison would fit the bill.

    My bet though would be the current standin will get the job as they are oviously doing well at the moment looking at the latest sales figures.

    After all the next couple of years plans for new tech are already bsing worked on.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Do you feel lucky, Steve ?

    Tried to log out of my newly-installed FreeBSD box/account the other day.

    It told me: you have suspended jobs.

    According a FreeBSD for idiots web site, I had to issue a "kill jobs" command.

    Surely I don't have to do any termination_with_extreme_prejudice work for <insert name of usual suspect here> ?

    Clint

  7. Curtis

    Sucessor

    I still like the Woz for this job.

  8. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    "I think it is hogwash"

    He thinks. So he isn't sure.

    Funny that. I thought he was on the board.

    This must be some new form of plausible denial.

  9. Ilgaz

    Apple is a culture

    Didn't anyone notice the date tags of "impossible to win against" Apple patents regarding Samsung pad?

    They date before Steve Jobs, they are also granted in darkest days of Apple, the famous "will go chapter 11" rumour times.

    Apple isn't just Steve Jobs. Of course, SJobs will deny it, it is part of his personality and corporate image policy of Apple.

    There are still people blaming BillG for every Windows or app crash, like he wrote the entire thing.

    1. Seanie Ryan
      Thumb Up

      unusual

      good to see someone with a bit of cop on and a brain around here... finally

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      My patent: A method for generating text on a web page

      Cease and desist.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Childcatcher

    wonder if MS has a plan

    how, oh, how are Microsoft going to replace their charismatic and visionary leader when he decides he needs to spend more time with his family?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      @ AC 14:47

      It won't be his decision if it is...

      ....it'll be up to the monkey cage keeper at Chicago zoo to decide if there's enough room for him to come back...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oops

    Looks to me like somebody "forgot" to tell the patient.

  12. Captain DaFt
    Angel

    Well of course talk of a succession plan's hogwash!

    Like any true cult leader, Jobs expects the faithful to commit mass suicide on his death to accompany him to the Applelife!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    CEO breakdown...

    Do you think iSuppli could do a CEO breakdown?

  14. saundby

    Bring Back Scott McNealy

    As title. We need his commentary back at the forefront of the business. But this time we want him without the pony-tail guy.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not that big of a deal.

    I hope his successor will shitcan those glossy LCD screens.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    Michael Saylor?

    Sterling Archer, lol ;)

    I vote for MicroStrategy's Michael Saylor - just Google the guy and you'll agree :)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    All but impossible

    "...any successor will have an all but impossible task filling his turtle-neck"

    So, not too much trouble at all then?

  18. Ascylto
    Big Brother

    23456

    Jobs emailed the Wall Street Journal?

    Why?

    It's a Mudroach NI paper isn't it.

    They would already know it was hogwash.

  19. NoneSuch Silver badge
    Gimp

    When Jobs leaves...

    Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!

    Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...

    The dead rising from the grave!

    Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Who can fill the great leader's turtleneck?

    Me, me, me!

    Choose me!

  21. Ascylto

    To AC 14.39GMT

    He only gets $1 a year, you know.

    to NoneSuch ...

    You know, then!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      $1 a year

      I'll do it at half the cost

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