Fridge logic
"Why not have lightbulbs that have customised usage patterns, so they will fade during the day and brighten at night,"
Strangely enough, I do. It's called a lightswitch.
"and capable of detecting smart phones in a room to turn the light off when a smart phone leaves customisable from a web UI"
Excepting the fact that there may be people who don't have a smartphone. In addition, to extend battery life, I turn mine into flight mode when I'm at home and run the thing on WiFi. I use it more for connectivity than calling anyway.
"Why not have WIFI/IR/bluetooth/NFC whatever connected hinges on doors that are capable of opening or closing doors,"
Epic fail territory. Once a computer has been fooled, it is completely obedient. It won't get suspicious any more than its programming has told it. Thank you, but I would only use automatic things as a convenience (such as an automatic gate would be nice on a horrible sleety day), but never as a factor in house security.
"have the door tied to your smart phone, you approach the door smartphone in pocket it opens"
And how many people do you think have programmed in their home address into the smartphone, which the map app will show as a cute little yellow star? Brilliant, nicked this jerks phone, here's the GPS route to his house, and this baby will let us walk right in.
"Why not have connected, windows/blinds allowing you to adjust the light in a room according to the time of day"
I work at night, so this is an issue for me. Beside my pillow I have a towel. A boring regular bath towel, medium sized. If I think it is too light for me, I fold the towel in half and drop it over my head. Instant darkness. I can even do this when half asleep.
"Why not have web connected showers/baths allowing you to fill the tub ready for when you're home"
? I can fill mine in the time it takes to faff around getting everything ready for the bath, and for afterwards.
"Why not have some bloody vision, we're living in the most exciting time in the history of man"
Actually, I think that was the '80s. With the increase of weird religious ideas and the decline in education, it seems like we're in danger of slipping towards the Dark Ages.
"We can't have the future we wanted,"
I have a book from when I was little. We're supposed to be wearing tin foil suits and living in giant wheels orbiting the Earth...
"I swear if I had access to a small business in this sector your house in 10 years would be like the fucking Enterprise-E"
I very much doubt it. I live in an old stone-built farmhouse with a provenance of 4-5 hundred years. There isn't even networking cables laid into the walls. And, you know, I'm proud of that. So many new houses with all the mod-cons might look cosy but they're soulless pieces of shit when you get down to it. The odd thing is, I see a house where my fridge doesn't talk to anything and where no rooms have LAN jacks in the walls as being a good thing.
For what it is worth, one of the nicest things to watch on a nasty winter night is the fire. A proper real burning log in a little metal case. It is NOT whatever rubbish happens to be on telly at that time.
Maybe us nerdy bunch could do well to step back once in a while and ask "what is really important in my life?". I think, on reflection, a fridge that talks to anything would end up so far down the list as to be trivially irrelevant.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
