back to article Reg hack applauds asinine augmentation

I'm delighted to announce that the El Reg Iberian bureau this morning celebrated the second happy new addition to its donkey portfolio, in the shape of a perfectly-formed jenny. Those of you who've been following the fortunes of our resolutely non-IT-related attempts to preserve Spain's donkey stocks will doubtless remember …

COMMENTS

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  1. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Pint

    Ballmer was the first thing I thought...

    ... until I read the bootnote.

    In that case I think Británica could be an interesting name for her (no offense intended)

    Congrats to the proud family... ¡Salud!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    Britney

    Britney

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      This justin

      Beiber?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Make that

      Britney Ears

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        You've just won the Internet

        Stop the competition Lester, this is just too good.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Nice asinine

    Beuller?

    1. Marvin the Martian
      IT Angle

      Forget naming the foal

      Who spent time shaving half the mom!?

      1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

        Re: Forget naming the foal

        A local chap does the shaving. Looks like a preposterous haircut, but it's the way it's done. If you don't clip the donkeys, the heat can kill 'em.

  4. jwb

    name

    Beelzebub?

  5. oldredlion
    Holmes

    If it was me

    I'd name her Bellamy, from the French bel amy or fair friend.

    It can be shortened to Bella and she can then be called "Bella the Burro", which is good.

  6. zen1
    Happy

    I'm confused

    "Take note: despite my threat last year, "Ballmer", "Bill" and "Brin" will not make the final cut. It's just too cruel"

    OK, too cruel to whom? The jackass or the foal?

  7. Flawsious

    Donkeys name

    How about her little BUMKIN. ;)

  8. brym

    el nombre

    Bambi "Brian" Bobcat.

  9. nyelvmark

    Uborka

    'Uborka' is Hungarian for 'cucumber / gherkin'. However, the phrase "Uborka Szézon" (cucumber season) is equivalent to the British "Silly Season" - the press are so desperate for front-page stories that they will print news about how well the uborka harvest is going.

    Astute readers may be able to work out why I think this is an appropriate name.

  10. peter 45
    Coat

    Brian

    Pronounced 'Braaayyyin'

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Braaayyyins

      That's what zombie donkeys say, isn't it?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Can't go wrong with the classics...

    Babieca - if you got the reference without looking it up give yourself a pat on the back and a sugar lump.

  12. anarchic-teapot
    Childcatcher

    Beetle Bomb

    Spike Jones FTW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXRj9lSnJnI&feature=related

  13. mking

    In a truly spanish/mexican tradition

    Burrito

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Headmaster

      RE: In a truly spanish/mexican tradition

      That would be "Burrita".

  14. jake Silver badge

    Brigitte Bardot

    Well known for her international ass protection ...

    1. jake Silver badge

      I hate replying to myself ...

      But I just got off the telephone with my daughter. She helpfully pointed out that I missed the obvious "Brigitte Burro" ...

  15. dingdong

    The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

    Bork

  16. cosymart
    Happy

    Bit of an ass

    Blatter for services to football or Beatrice for reviving both eBay and the hat industry :-)

  17. mr-tom
    Happy

    Boris

    Shares many traits with his amusing namesake.

  18. Hardcastle the ancient

    how about

    Bonkers?

    Blanca (ironic)?

    Baldomera (Audaz, valiente)?

    Brenda (Private Eye nickname for QE2)

    Burro (bad pun)?

    Badajoz (start of a peninsular war series, or capitols of provinces)?

  19. ratfox
    Pint

    Binary

    Byte, Bluetooth...

    ...Boobies

    ...Beer!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Bootle Bumtrinket?

    If it's good enough for Gerald and Lawrence Durrell it's good enough for me.

  21. Gwaptiva
    Childcatcher

    To show off my nerd credentials

    I think it should be Bucephala

  22. Andus McCoatover

    Beatrix, obviously.

    Nuff said

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boudica

    as no doubt she'll resist orders ;-)

  24. Inari
    Happy

    Girly name beginning with B?

    I vote Bathsheba.

    If you hate it, you can always call her Sheba for short.

  25. Harvey Trowell
    Happy

    The law is an ass.

    Congratulations on the new arrival!

    Bertha - Because she isn't very big.

    Big Ears - Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

    Billie - The filly. Isn't she a filly before she's a jenny?

    Bob - Beast of burden.

    Bobby - A girlier variant of Bob. Also see title.

    1. Vic

      Re: The law is an ass

      > Bobby - A girlier variant of Bob

      Wouldn't that be "Kate"[1]?

      Vic.

      [1] Younger readers will likely miss the reference...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        You miserable git...

        I got the reference. Now I feel old.

  26. Captain DaFt
    Thumb Up

    Daww, too cute!

    A few names for consideration:

    Babbette

    Beauty

    Binky

    Boo-boo (Even though she wasn't)

    Bluebelle

    Betty

    Buttercup

    Butterfly

    1. Harvey Trowell
      Coat

      Betty

      If you call her Betty, when Betty calls Aladdin, she can call him Al.

  27. raving angry loony

    how about...

    Bofh? (Bastard dOnkey From (nearest town starting with H...))

    Gender neutral name after all...

    1. Vic

      Re: how about.

      > Gender neutral name after all

      A fine idea - but being overheard using the phrase "Boff the donkey" are likely to lead to rather difficult conversations...

      Vic.

      1. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
        Facepalm

        Nearly as bad as . . . .

        . . . muffin the mule.

  28. skeptical i
    Angel

    'Bunny' for the ears is a bit too obvious.

    'Brownie' for her deep chocolatey color is a bit obvious too, huh.

    'Bellamy', as suggested above, is pretty good.

    She really is a cutie, congrats to the proud parents!

    1. Harvey Trowell

      Bugs then?

      Or Berigan? Maybe not Berigan.

  29. Petrea Mitchell
    Happy

    Awwwww cute!

    Well, you could cover the IT angle in a relatively harmless way by calling her Beta.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    The El Reg Iberian Burro?

    The post is required, and must contain letters, but really, that's all I got.

  31. F111F
    Go

    Boffin..

    For a smart ass....

  32. Javc
    Happy

    Byte

    As in "This is Byte, my ass".

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    title

    Bob (remember this? http://toastytech.com/guis/bobboot1.gif )

    Or just go for Boadicea/Boudicca.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beatriz

    When choosing our children's names we kept in mind the need for ones that would be familiar and at least pronouncable by both sides of our families yet with more of a lilt towards a Spanish name. Now this doesn't apply to a pure bred Spanish donkey but you never know she might become and international star, hence Beatriz.

  35. Big Al
    Childcatcher

    Traditional

    Barbarella (with or without your Spanish 'll')

    Bella (ditto)

  36. George Nacht
    Happy

    Not fair to us...

    ...cruelly cynical and hopelessly sour office workers, to be out of sudden confronted with something so freakingly cute.

    Well....

    Bustadora?

    Borg?

    Blyskawica? (it´s "Lightning" in Polish, and a pretty name for a four-hooved herbivorous animal, I guess...)

  37. SuccessCase

    Don't make the mistake...

    of turning this into an online poll to decide the name. Greenpeace did that with a competition to name a wale. They seeded the list of names, to start things off, whe usual PC claptrap with "Star", "Atlantis" that sort of thing. But the the wise wide web had other ideas with the winning name by a margin of about 4:1 ...

    "Mr Smartypants"

    Only it didn't win because Greenpeace, with three days to go before the end of the competition, quietly dropped it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Only that's not what happened at all.

      It was Mr. Splashypants, not Mr. Smartypants; the competition was not quietly dropped but extended by a week in response to the huge level of interest; and the whale was duly named and is out there now wearing his radio tag.

      Sources (as opposed to just making shit up in order to throw false and irrelevant accusations at people because I disagree with their politics but don't want to actually address the issues):-

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Splashy_Pants

      http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/news/features/splashy-101207/

      http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/oceans/whaling/great-whale-trail/profiles/#a0

      Seriously, you don't let facts get in the way of your political prejudices, do you?

  38. Paul E

    Boffin

    Surely??

  39. ben 29

    if the girl is choosing it has to be...

    Bellatrix (Gamma Orionis obviously - perish the thought a writer of school wizard stories.... no.... wait....)

  40. SuperTim

    Bootnote:

    Thats a good name innit?

    1. Ben Holmes
      Thumb Up

      +1

      for Bootnote!

  41. mike 32
    Thumb Up

    It's this that keeps me coming back...

    In addition to good IT journalism, we're kept up to date with writers' farm exploits. Great way to maintain a community!

    I'm stuck for (smart) names, so will suggest

    Barry (my brother) or

    Bronwyn (my wife).

    I probably won't tell them if they end up the winner.

    Ooh, ooh, I know, Bliksem! An errant donkey locally would hear that name daily around here.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bliksem

  42. Code Monkey
    Trollface

    Nice ass!

    Or should it be asset?

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Childcatcher

    Opera anyone??

    Brunhilda because when she grows up (and like all opera singers), she will have a big ass.

  44. Tim Worstal

    For obvious ass related reasons

    Bonneville.

  45. Miek
    Coat

    How about

    Bob, an anagram of Beast of Burden ?

  46. GrahamT
    Joke

    For an El Reg theme...

    How about Beesara (with an optional terminal "h") Starts with B and has a feminine ending. Can be shortened to Bee or Trix.

  47. Skymonrie
    Coat

    Badger

    Because, what's better than a good ass and badger together!

  48. K2
    Linux

    Bertram

    After Bertram Wooster, seems fitting for such a fine you lad.

  49. AgentMyth
    Coat

    Obviously assonance

    Barbara!!

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bender

    As in "You can kiss my shiny metal ass".

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    No name suggestion...

    Just congratulations on the happy event

  52. bill 36
    Thumb Up

    Beverley

    after them 3 hill-billies called Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld :>)

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Buttsecxia

    wait, this isn't /b

  54. Z80

    I suggest

    Bunty

  55. Lyndon Hills 1
    Happy

    In the spirit of the website

    Either beta or baps.

  56. Vic

    Ah.

    "Binky".

    Of course.

    Vic.

  57. Daniel Hutty
    Pint

    Perhaps it's too obvious but...

    If the name has to start with B...

    How about "Bea"?

    (Short for Beatrice if you like, or as-is)

    (Beer icon 'cos it sounds vaguely like Bea)

    1. Harvey Trowell

      null

      Or perhaps Bee, in a nod to the modatrix Herself?

  58. Alan Esworthy

    Henceforth

    ...she should be known as Belinda.

  59. Shane Kent

    Seeing it is an ass, why not...

    Booty, as in show me your booty.

  60. This post has been deleted by its author

  61. C. P. Cosgrove
    Pint

    In the family tradition

    I would suggest Brisa - it's of Spanish origin, it's feminine, and it follows her mother in ending in 'a'.

    Cheers anyway,

    Chris Cosgrove

  62. Harvey Trowell
    Coat

    Buffy

    The samphire slayer.

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