back to article Japanese boffins build internet kissing machine

Researches in Japan are hard at work developing an internet-enabled kissing simulator that will allow lovers – or perfect strangers – to reach out and buss someone. "This device is for communications within the mouth," researcher Nobuhiro Takahashi of the Kajimoto Laboratory at The University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo …

COMMENTS

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  1. jake Silver badge

    "Researches in Japan are hard"; no doubt.

    But methinks they should get out more ... There's a big, wide, world out there, full of likewise single, horny & wanting a bit MOTAS ...

    1. Marvin the Martian
      Paris Hilton

      "the goal is to obtain the feeling of kissing."

      Poor guy. It hasn't worked out with the usual facebook/online-ads/etc for him, so instead he builds a robot to finally experience that elusive kissing thing? The mind boggles.

  2. LaeMing
    Go

    Competitive tongue hockey!

    This device looks like it could be used like an arm-wrestle for the tongue! By remote (which is probably for the best).

  3. Glenn Alexander
    Badgers

    Norton has detected a virus.

    Girls germs!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Prime mover of technology is always...

    I can see a version of this being popular with the live sex shows but instead of lips to lips contact it'll be lips to other parts!

  5. JDX Gold badge

    eew

    see title

  6. Da Weezil

    Futurama moment

    "Commence lip identification scan."

    Mmm, mmm, mm.

    "No tongue!"

  7. Yag
    Paris Hilton

    Nostalgia...

    Makes me remember the old "fu-fme" of last millenia :)

    Warning : Following link is quite not safe for work...

    http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/9334/fufmeem1.jpg

    Paris... well... guess why :p

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      re: Nostalgia...

      Hah, Fu-fme, always wondered what happened with that page

  8. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Yuk!

    That's gross!!

  9. Bill Fresher
    Paris Hilton

    You what?

    " Takahashi agrees that much more needs to be done to enhance the K-LRMCD's stimulatory capabilities. "The elements of a kiss include the sense of taste, the manner of breathing, and the moistness of the tongue," "

    and I always thought kissing involved touching lips.

  10. Elmer Phud

    Something missing?

    Where's the 'garlic sausage' flavour going to come from? How can it transmit 'old ashtray' or 'stale beer and vomit' flavours?

    Does it have an 'Ancient Relative Fish' setting?

  11. json
    Coffee/keyboard

    Why a tube?

    .. will saliva come out of it too?

  12. John I'm only dancing
    Joke

    Scratch and Sniff

    My friend and I have developed scratch and sniff over the internet...Unfortunately, we've only managed one smell so far, It's called vegetarian fart. The user scratches the image on the screen, then sticks his finger up his rear and sniffs. We've been 100 per cent successful in trials!!

  13. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
    Coat

    lolwhut?

    lolwhut indeed.

  14. Steve 6

    It is very telling ...

    ... that he couldn't find a lady to help demonstrate his device.

    If he doesn't have a g/f now, this device will ensure he remains without. That's probably for the best!

  15. philbo
    Joke

    They may have some teething problems...

    ..but I'm sure they'll soon have them licked

  16. Andy Fletcher

    Nice...

    ...presumably Google are already working on what ads to display to you based on your technique.

  17. ratfox
    WTF?

    Japanese are weird

    No, seriously, they are!

    Daddy, what were you doing when the 2011 Tsunami hit? Well, son, you see, I was developing my Internet kissing machine.

  18. Fred Flintstone Gold badge
    Coat

    Someone has to say this: it sucks..

    Or maybe it wouldn't if it did (I leave you mentally sort that one out while I make my escape).

    Thank you, and good night. The trilby, please.

  19. Atonnis
    FAIL

    I expect...

    ....that the robotised Real Doll with this capability will be along eventually...

    ....one more step to making the lonely more lonely...

  20. Richard Scratcher
    Coat

    Not serious surely!

    A bit tongue in cheek.

  21. Jean-Luc
    Thumb Down

    Sad. </eom>

    The post is required, and must contain letters.

  22. mhenriday
    Boffin

    Looks like

    quantum entanglement to me - spukhafte Fernwirkung !...

    Henri

  23. Nick Pettefar

    Hmmm.....

    I know where my missus will stick that thing!

    She's such a dirty girl.

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